I am sorry if my characters are a bit of from reality, I am trying my best. I will gladly accept any help on that.
He really wants to explain it to her, but it's messy, complex and complicated and he's not sure she will understand. Hell, he's not sure if he understands. Those men, doesn't matter how many they were or who they were, didn't just molest her; they also actually raped her, so you'd think they had sex with her right? He doesn't think like that and he sure as hell doesn't want her to think like that because even though she's a big broken mess that doesn't like to be touched or looked at, a mess that hates the idea of some creepy dude desiring her she's still a grow up woman and maybe, just maybe one day she'll be healed enough to allow herself to feel arousal and desire and the need of other person's body (man or woman, he doesn't know that either). That's why he doesn't want her to see that as sex, so she won't associate those two things together.
She asks him if sex and making love are not the same since technically it's all about sticking a man's penis into a woman's vagina. He chokes at those words; that's a new level of unabashed even for Parker. He finally tells her there's more than that and she comments "she knows" and once again he feels like torturing those who hurt her so much.
-What they did to you was not sex, Parker!
-Why, how do you know?
-I know because sex is about desire and arousal and I know those guys felt that for you; the thing is you never felt that for them, in fact at that age you didn't have the ability to feel that for anybody so it was not consensual.
-But when women are raped, they always say someone had sex with them...
-Well, they are wrong! - He really doesn't want her to mix those two. – Sex. Sex is fun, sex is enjoyable and it can be even a little rough sometimes, it can leave marks on your body yet, sex is something two people do because they want to! Sex can be about desire and the need for possession or for control. Real sex is consensual. Sex doesn't make you cry, sex doesn't leave permanent marks on you, physical and emotional. Sex, Parker doesn't traumatise or frighten people! Sex makes you happy instead of terrified, sex is good, it's intimate and healthy and you shouldn't just have with some random dude you met on a bar because it's also about respect; it's about respecting the other and yourself! - The woman stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before talking.
-That's not... That's not how I felt, that's not what was done to me... - She has tears in her eyes.
-I know, darling. - He hated that she's crying yet he knows she has to cry, how could she not?
-Does that mean sex won't hurt me? - Once again Nathan thinks a lot before speaking, he knows that any wrong words from him will have serious consequences on Parker's life.
-Unfortunately, it can. Sometimes people choose to have sex with someone and regret it later, but that's about choices, darling not sex itself. So no, sex is not supposed to hurt you.
-What about all the pain I always felt? - Her eyes are big and blue and pure and so hurt it kills him to stare at them.
-You were young Parker, and really, really small. What happened… it's only natural it was painful because your body was not physically prepared to deal with that. A child's body it's not mature enough to have intercourse.
-Does that mean I won't bleed anymore if I have sex; or is that natural? - He feels the air getting stuck in his throat, there's a big part of wishing not to have this conversation yet, he still is happy about it, and happy he can help her.
-No, honey you're not supposed to bleed. And, I don't know if you're going to bleed again, I hope you won't. Parker have you ever been seen by a doctor about this. - She swallows.
-When I was thirteen and my period first came, it hurt a lot so Archie took me to a lady doctor who was specialized in vaginas and breasts. She was a... geacologenist?
-Gynaecologist, Parker.
-Right... she treated me and when I am on period it doesn't hurt anymore.
-Do you still see her Parker? Because you should, you know. - She nods.
-Sophie took me to one, hers is a man, but she took me to a woman because she knows I don't want a man touching me. It was nice of her. My doctor's nice. She says I am healthy...
-That's good, darling. So I guess you won't bleed.
-Cane you explain the difference between sex and making love to me now?
This chapter was getting too big so I split it, hope you don't mind.
A/N: I know my definition of sex is incomplete and it maybe even be wrong on some circumstances but please note this is Nate practically giving a lesson of sexual education to Parker. I am willing to rewrite this if you have anything to point out.
This story is being a bit hard to write for me so your opinion is precious and I really appreciate it.
Thank you for your support and let me know if want to read more!