There is at least one advantage to being pregnant, Violet decided. Your husband freaks out and carries everything for the picnic himself. Well, he freaks out over a lot of things, but the picnic thing is right up there at the top of the plus column.
Since Violet had twisted Buddy's arm (literally, Buddy was stuck in the lab repairing the robot arm for days) into staying at home with her instead of going to work, she was taking full advantage of the time with him. Today's excursion was a picnic in the park next to the apartment. It was a perfect, windy day, and Violet had snuck a special present into the bag for Buddy. After he had spread the large blanket out next to the pond, Violet had presented him with the long plastic package. Buddy had nearly squealed with delight at the sight of the skull and crossbones patterned kite. He kissed his wife quickly on the mouth and built the kite in less than five minutes. He was currently sailing it high above the park while Violet lay out on the blanket and read a novel. At least, Buddy thought that's what she was doing. In actuality, Violet was studying her husband. He had spoken fondly of his childhood playtimes with a kite, insisting that their child have at least two kites. The absolute glee on his face and his carefree posture made it feel like her heart was soaring high in the clouds right next to that Jolly Roger. Violet pushed her sunglasses higher on her nose and closed her eyes, once again feeling like all was right in the universe.
Sometimes, however, it seems like the universe lashes out against us. Perhaps this is for some past sin or perhaps this is just because the universe needs to attack someone in order to balance out unseen forces. In either case, this would quickly turn in to one of these cases. In an instant, all of the wind that had been swirling around the city suddenly stopped. There was not one whisper of a wind, not one breath. As a result, the black kite dropped out of the sky and crashed. It did not crash into a tree. It did not crash into the pond. It did not even crash land on the ground. It did, however, crash into the small, wiry old man sitting on one of the wooden benches next to the pond. Buddy immediately raced over, and, surprisingly, he apologized profusely.
"Why don't you watch what you're doing, you idiot?! You could have killed me with this thing, don't you have any respect?"
"Sir, the wind just stopped. I had no control over the kite."
"I don't care! I think you owe me something, so I'm keeping this here kite!" The man wrapped his arms possessively around the kite and glared at Buddy, daring him to say something.
"I really don't think that-"The octogenarian went insane, cursing loudly and chasing Buddy away with his waving cane.
Buddy returned to his wife, his head down and his tail between his legs. He plopped down noisily next to her and scowled at the old man across the way.
"Problem, hun?" Violet sounded sleepily.
"Some old guy stole my kite,"
Violet clumsily sat up and said, "Did he take your lunch money, too?"
"Oh, sure, kick a guy when he's down. He stole my kite, Vi." Buddy pouted.
"Buddy, get me up. Right now."
The red-head leapt to his feet and easily got Violet to hers. "What's wrong? Are you sick? Are you in labor?! I'm not prepared for this!"
"Oh, shut up, I'm not supposed to have this kid for five more months!" Violet shouted over her shoulder as she stomped over to the bench occupied by the violent senior.
When she reached him, she smiled sweetly and said, "Excuse me, sir, could I please get that kite back? It is very important to my husband, you see, and I-"
The man interrupted (it seemed to be a habit of his), "Missy, I'm twice your age and I know a thing or two. Now you just get back to your husband and let him fight his own battles."
Violet's eyes widened and Buddy started to brace for what was to come. The man smirked, believing that he had won and had established his dominance over the petite pregnant woman.
"You may know some things, but how you have gone your whole life without learning that pissing off a pregnant woman is the WRONG thing to do I will never know. Obviously that means a woman has never been drunk enough to sleep with you. Take notes, you do NOT say no to a pregnant woman! You say 'Yes, dear,' and you do what she wants. Now give me the damn kite!" Without waiting for him to hand over the kite, Violet snatched it out of his hands, snarled her thanks, and went back to their blanket. Buddy quickly followed after her. He'd been on the wrong side of Violet's wrath before, and he didn't want to experience it again. When he reached the blanket, Violet was angrily rewinding the spool of thread that connected to the kite. Buddy crouched next to her and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Her angry face turned into a dreamy smile.
"I love you so much, Mrs. Pine."
"Mm, I love you too. Now go get me chocolate ice cream."
Buddy grinned, "Yes, ma'am."

Guess who just figured out that Jason Lee is in Monster House. Glob, I love that movie (Ohhhh, so it's a girl house... Gets me everytime. Dammit Chowder). Anyway, the guy he plays in that movie, Bones (ha), got his kite stolen by a mean old guy. And then he gets eaten by a house. I seem to fixate on movies that Jason Lee is in and I force Buddy to go through similar situations. Poor Buddy, but it makes me laugh.