Interrogations of Intestines.
Chapter Two.
"Snape!" Seamus Finnegan shouted, thunderstruck. He reflected the mood of the room.
Ron stopped for a moment to bask in his glory.
"Yes, standing before you all, besmirching the body of Harry Potter, is our greasy-haired Defence against the Dark Arts professor, the slimeball, Severus Snape."
Ron paused for a moment while Harry glared at him. "And don't think about taking away house points or giving me detention. I have the whole house to back me up on this, and I don't think that Professor Dumbledore would like it if he heard that you started snogging a girl less than half your age. Perverted swine!"
"But that's ridiculous!" Hermione protested. "Harry isn't Snape."
"Sure he is Hermione." Ron responded. "Polyjuice Potion, right Snape?"
Harry didn't respond.
"Ah, so that's the way it's going to be, Snape?" Ron leaned closer to Harry's face. "Let me assure you…I have ways of making you talk."
Ron moved away, leaving a thoroughly bewildered Harry Potter frozen against the wall.
"Dennis!" Ron asked of the young third year. "Please send this message through the fireplace to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes."
"Right away, Ron."
"And you, Snape, let me explain why I know it is you disguised as Harry. It's quite simple really. You liked Harry's mother, which explains why you hate his father so much, and since Ginny has red hair you replaced Harry's mother in your mind with Ginny."
Open mouthed shock greeted Ron's statement, but it was short lived as the fireplace roared into green flames.
The cheers were deafening as Fred and George stepped out, waving to the crowd.
They spotted their sister, so they each grabbed one leg of hers from behind and lifted her onto their shoulders, dancing around the room and singing nonsensical celebratory gibber, when they suddenly saw Harry, blue and stiff as a board against the wall.
Stopping in shock, Ginny fell forward. With the twins' hanging onto her legs, she was forced to hang upside down, looking through the twins legs. They uncerimoniously dropped her on the floor.
Fred quickly waved his wand and freed Harry from the bind, as George asked. "Harry, dear friend and partner, what is going on?"
Harry, though, only had eyes for Ron.
"THANKS A LOT RON! NOW HOW CAN I SLEEP AFTER WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT MY MOTHER AND SNAPE?"
Ron was just as quick. "HOW CAN I AFTER WHAT I SAW MY SISTER AND YOU DOING."
"Good point." Harry conceded.
"Wait…wait…wait?" Fred asked with a feral grin. "What are we missing here?"
"Because I get that something happened." George added, smiling widely.
Ginny picked herself up off the floor. Ron, about to inform his brothers, was interrupted by Hermione.
"Harry and Ginny kissed." Hermione said primly.
"You mean, really kissed?" Fred asked.
"Yeah, not like a peck, smooch, like kissing your sister?" George added.
"Full on, liplocking snog." Hermione beamed.
"Here. In the common room. Now. In front of everyone?" Fred and George asked.
Hermione nodded.
Fred and George spun around.
"Whoa! Way to go, Intestines!"
"What?" was all Harry could muster.
"Doing that – quite impressive – in front of everyone would have taken a lot of Guts." Fred and George explained, grinned widely.
Harry groaned.
"Though, if you turn out to be Snape, we'll unanimously withdraw our blessing and approval for this budding relationship. Food for thought, eh Intestines?"
Harry turned around and banged his head against the wall.