Stella: Oh...this chapter. I can't tell if I love it or hate it. It definitely hated me though, especially the last few lines. But like I said, it took me five days. But when I say that, I mean I was thinking about it/writing it on and off for five days.
Lavi: When you should've been doing your summer reading.
Stella: Who are you, my mother?
Rose: Well, you have been procrastinating this whole summer...
Stella: *sighs* I know, but since I'm a senior now, it'll be my last summer reading! Yay! Well, unless I have one for college. :o
And I know at one point I said I wouldn't do Lavi's P.O.V. but it wouldn't have worked out if I did it any other way. So yeah, I know he's kinda OOC here, but in a way, he has to be. I'm sorry...
Lavi: Maybe this means it'll get more reviews!
Stella: Actually, it hasn't been getting that many lately... ;_;
Rose: But people have been adding it to their favorites and alerts!
Stella: But Stella wants reviews -x-
Lavi: Stop talking in third person! And you should be grateful.
Stella: Yes...sorry...gosh...
Lavi's P.O.V.
We sat in silence for a little bit, which was a little awkward. Usually, I'd be in the one to start the conversation up no sweat, but it was different this time. I think she felt the same tension in the air as I did. After all, apparently we go way back…
"What're you doing here, Lavi?" She finally asked.
"What? I can't just hang around wherever I want to?" I attempted to joke, but as soon as I looked at her, I saw that my attempt was futile.
"You can, but you don't have to knock down a door to do that." She deadpanned.
"Yeah, but you wouldn't open up when I asked."
"…sorry."
Geez, she was just a load of sunshine today. Well, I figured that if I didn't ask now, I would probably have a harder time finding out later. Besides, I doubt it would hurt just to ask.
"So, how long have you known?" I murmured softly.
She took her eyes off the floor and looked at me. "About what…exactly?"
"Me." I replied simply. She shifted her weight and tucked her legs in. After adjusting herself a few more times, she decided to plop down on her bed and she put an arm to cover her eyes. She didn't say anything for a few seconds, and before I could repeat myself, she opened her mouth to reply.
"It's not like I really…know you. I just…I don't know how to explain it." She admitted truthfully. She sighed and sat back up to face me. "But when I look at you, it just seems so...familiar."
"And what about me seems familiar?" I asked her.
She managed a small smile and pointed to the top of my head. More specifically, my hair.
I let out a small laugh. So that's why she was asking about if my hair was naturally that color.
"I get it now." I told her jokingly. "So, anything else?"
She shrugged her shoulders and that ghost of a smile disappeared from her face. "No offense…but I don't want to talk about it right now. It's reminding me too much of…her."
I don't even need to ask who this "her" is. I guess I can't blame her for not wanting to be reminded of what happened just a few days ago. She's already beat herself up over it. But I really needed to know about what happened and I had to do everything I could to find out.
I decided to go with small talk for the moment. "Well…then let's talk about something else!" I told her and flashed a smile her way. "So what was your life like before coming to the Order?"
She blinked a few times and smiled sadly. "It was…simpler. Yes, much simpler."
I waved a hand and pressed on. "Okay, continue!"
Rose laughed a bit from my sudden eagerness and sat up straight. "I went to school like any other kid. I had a small group of friends I was close with and we'd just have fun. It was a pretty normal life."
"Sounds fun…" I muttered and thought a bit about my own life before the Order. But there were way too many different aliases and personalities and people to think about it all.
"I guess…that's basically it." She concluded and smiled sheepishly. Well, at least she seemed to be cheered up. That was one of the things I liked about her. She was very easy to cheer up, but on the downside, she was very easy to get put down. But unlike me, she didn't have to put on a fake smile and she could easily wear her heart on her sleeve.
"Hmm…well, then how did you end up here?"
And the smile that was there vanished. "I um…" She struggled with herself for a bit and then she replied so quietly, I had to lean in to hear what she said. "I killed my dad…"
I stared at her in disbelief for a second, surprise written all over my face. "What?" I sputtered, hoping I heard her wrong.
"I mean, not like that." She said defensively. "But my…my mom she…" And then tears started to well up in her eyes again like it has been these past few days.
I leaned in closer, now seriously interested in what she had to say. "She turned my dad into an akuma." She finally said, but in a grave tone. After a quick glance at me, she continued on with her story. "It was actually on my sixteenth birthday and my dad finally gave in to his illness. I guess I should've paid more attention to my mom though. I didn't know she would be grieving so much that the Millennium Earl would approach her. That's when she called out his name. After he turned into an akuma, I was the first one he was ordered to…kill." She shuddered and I saw the tears threatening to fall, but she didn't let them. "But somehow, I managed to dodge the dark matter he was shooting at me. That doesn't mean other people did…"
An air of silenced passed by and she closed her eyes, probably remembering the people that died that day.
"Then, out of nowhere, a tall man with long red hair hands me a box with an anti-akuma weapon and tells me I'm an Exorcist. He said that path was already set by my father, but he was wrong. I chose this path on my own." She paused. "At least, that's what I've been telling myself…"
I didn't say anything and she let out a sigh. "Sorry, you probably don't want to hear about that. I've only really ever told Allen about it, but that's because we're kind of the same. It's different telling you…"
"Is that a bad thing?" I chuckled.
Her smile reappeared as she shook her head. "No, definitely not. I like talking to you, Lavi." And her face turned slightly pink as she said those words.
"Well, I'm all ears. So who's the man that gave you your anti-akuma weapon? How did he get it in the first place?" I could already guess who it was, but I needed to make sure.
Rose put her finger to her chin as if she was thinking. "Honestly…I don't know." She let out a small laugh. "I guess I should know. But he was wearing an Exorcist uniform, except it was one for the Generals. And he said he knew my dad. You see, my dad was an Exorcist too…"
I sat back and ran everything that she just told me in my head. The man was definitely General Cross, but how did he get his hands on those bracers? And how could her father cause her to become an Exorcist? It wasn't exactly something you could choose.
"What was your father's name?"
"Cassian Hinode."
That name instantly rang a bell, but of course, I couldn't figure out where I knew the name or how. Damn, this was annoying.
"Do you know something?" Rose asked after my minute of silence. I guess it wouldn't be bad if I just told her about Cross.
"The man who gave you the bracers, that was General Cross. He's been missing for a while now, so it's kind of surprising that he just showed up in your town out of nowhere."
"Cross…" She muttered quietly to herself. "Oh! That's the man that Allen, Miranda-san and I were supposed to look for in Switzerland!"
I nodded and laid down on her bed. I took a deep breath and inhaled the familiar aroma of strawberries. The same smell she had on during that train ride…
"What about you? What was your like before coming to the Order, Lavi?" She asked suddenly. I propped myself up and put my hands behind my head.
"I guess it wasn't that different. I'm still doing the same thing, technically." I told her, words coming out of my mouth without a second thought. "I'm just here to record history." It felt strange telling her this and I doubt the old man would be happy if he knew I was, but at the moment, I really didn't care. It put off some stress to talk to someone about it.
"Oh." I saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes. "So you're not here just to help fight in the war against the Millennium Earl?" Her eyes drooped a bit. "Hmm. Oh, yeah. I remember you telling me a little bit of what it's like to be a Bookman on our mission together. I guess I just assumed you were here also as an Exorcist. But…you're only an Exorcist so you could get a closer look at the war…not because you want to win it." I could hear the slightest bit of disbelief in her voice. I was surprised she figured it all out.
"There's more to it than that. We have rules we gotta follow." I added.
Rose turned around to fully face me this time. "Like what?" She asked curiously.
"Well…" I debated with myself whether or not I should tell her. I already said too much, but somehow, it felt right to tell her. "It's…um…"
She placed a hand on my arm, gripping the sleeve of my jacket. Her light green eyes pierced right through me. "S'okay if you don't want to say." She murmured softly and her head fell to rest against my shoulder.
"Lavi…I'm scared, you know." She whispered and her grip became tighter. "I don't want anyone to see me like this though…"
"You're letting me see you like that." I pointed out, chuckling at her pouting face.
"But you're different." She retorted.
I pulled my bandana down and let my hair fall free over my face to hide whatever confused or conflicted expression I was feeling. My heart started to beat just a little faster. It seemed as if she was luring me in somehow. I figured I should stop it now before anything else could happen.
"Look, I'm not supposed to…being a Bookman means…" I struggled trying to find the right words. I looked down at her to see her looking back up at me, waiting for whatever it is I had to say. "This, for example," I gestured to her resting her head against my shoulder and her hand gripping my arm. "…is something that I'm not supposed to do."
She didn't bother letting go of my arm or bringing her head up, but instead stared at me with a confused look in her eyes. "What is it?" She asked, oblivious to our close proximity. I was surprised, actually, because she didn't seem like the type of girl to do this. She always seemed so flustered when I joked around with her.
I sweatdropped and let out a weary sigh. "Bookmen aren't supposed to feel. No attachments or feelings or anything. It's supposed to help us remain neutral."
Rose turned her head forward and stared at the wall for a couple seconds and then back to me. Then, to her hand holding onto my arm. She instantly let go and scooted back.
"I wasn't…I mean, I wasn't trying to imply anything! I'm sorry!" She blurted out quickly and her face started to become redder and redder. "Eh heh heh…" She let out a nervous giggle and tried to put on a smile.
She obviously still didn't get what I was trying to say.
"I didn't mean it like that. I meant that in platonic ways too." I explained as I watched her shoulders relax a bit.
"O-oh…" She mumbled, her face still burning red. And then I saw the look in her eyes as she finally registered what I said. "Oh…" She repeated, but this time it expressed complete disappointment.
"Then that means…all this time, you were just…" She didn't even bother to finish her sentence.
"I don't know." I said honestly. "This time is different. Ever since I came here, I soon came to the point where I didn't know whether my smiling face was a lie or not. I've been here for about two years. That's the longest I've stayed at one place. Every time I go somewhere, I change my identity and the 49th alias is the longest one I've kept." And the words escaped again without my permission, but I still wasn't worried. I glanced over at the door, but there was no need.
Rose didn't say anything and instead, she completely looped both her arms around mine and replied with a shaky voice. "I'm sure the other 48 were just as great as the 49th. Lavi, even if you don't or can't see me as anything more than a temporary comrade, I want you to know that I think of you as a really good friend."
I wanted to reply, but a lump formed in my throat that disabled me from speaking at the moment. So I let my head rest on top of hers for the moment.
"But you're different." I repeated her words from earlier and I could tell she smiled a little.
Another minute of silence passed again. Or maybe it was a few minutes. I wasn't really paying attention to anything else anymore.
"Lavi…" She mumbled, breaking the quietness. "Do you remember anything about me? Or does anything seem familiar?"
"Mmm…well, not anything in particular. But…" And then I remembered that little moment on the train ride when our lips met. "Well…I'm not trying to come up with any ideas or anything…but when we, uhh…" I could feel my own cheeks heating up a little and I cleared my throat. "When we kissed."
She blinked a few times and we exchanged glances. It was the first time we brought it up anyway. "Oh…," Was all that escaped her lips. "That's umm…a coincidence…"
"You mean you felt it too? Like…it wasn't the first time?"
She nodded while her cheeks turned red again. "So that means we must've…you know…"
I laughed at her shyness and ruffled her hair. "Yeah, I know…"
She removed her arms from mine and we stared at each other with determination and intensity.
I tried to lighten the mood up a bit, to ease her nervousness, and gave her a smile. "I think we both know what we're getting at."
She nodded.
"So…it's just for memory's sake, kay?" I chuckled as her face turned a darker shade of red, if that were possible. "You want to find out too, right? It can't be that bad to kiss me~
She nodded again.
"Alright, then…" I whispered. I wasn't sure how I should've been feeling at the moment, but I convinced myself that this was just to figure out about my missing memories.
Slowly, I leaned down and it felt as if I could hear her heart beating…or was it mine? And I saw her open her mouth to say something, but then she closed it along with her eyes. As I got closer, I could smell a hint of strawberries and then…
And then nothing…
Rose's P.O.V.
I pulled away just before his lips could touch mine and my breathing became fast and uneven. It felt as if my heart was going to explode. It's not that I didn't want to find out about our memories, but aren't kisses meant for someone you feel passionate about and care for deeply? I didn't think I felt that way about Lavi, but maybe somewhere deep in my mind, despite everything he told me about the rules of being a Bookman, maybe I was slowly becoming attached to him…
Lavi looked at me with a blank expression on his face and I let my head sink.
"I'm sorry…it's just that I…I don't feel right…"
He cocked his head to the side a bit and shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, I can see that." And I could hear and see the letdown in his voice and eye. "But I really wanna try. Please, can we try?" He asked with a cheerful mixed determined voice.
I frowned a bit, but I guess that if we didn't at least try, we wouldn't ever get anywhere. I nodded slowly and he smiled and I couldn't help but to give him a small smile in return. I looked over at the door just to make sure no one was there and there wasn't. Part of me wisheed there was so I could prepare more, but part of me was glad there wasn't for some unknown reason.
This time, he caressed my cheek and he leaned down again. My heart started beating even faster. Was it nervousness or excitement? Did I want to kiss Lavi in hoping I'd remember something or was it because I…
My thoughts were interrupted when his lips grazed mine. It felt exhilarating, but at the same time it was also heartbreaking because maybe I felt all the emotions that we were both supposed to feel. Lavi was probably trying to block those feelings out while I let them all in and it was overwhelming.
It seemed as if the entries I read from dad's diary a few weeks ago were coming to life in short movie clips inside my mind. I saw bits and pieces of a little kid version of me and Lavi in my hometown.
It would be the same as always. My mom would force me to go to school no matter how much I begged her to let me stay home. School wasn't for me. Well, the other kids there weren't. I was the only kid in my kindergarten class with curly hair and all the other kids found it funny to pick on me. There was no way I was going to make friends at that rate. Until one day, on the way home, I spotted a kid with different hair like me. His hair was bright red, like a fire...like a flame. I gave him that nickname since he wouldn't tell me his real name. He was accompanied by an old man that reminded me a lot of a panda. Apparently he knew my dad and came to discuss things with him. But all the while, I naturally became close to this flame. He made me feel so warm inside and he never made fun of me. He was my first friend, after all.
At first I only believed that love existed between married people like mom and dad, but as days went by, I realized I love Flame. I didn't think little kids fell in love, but my mom told me if there was a boy out there that made your heartbeat faster and butterflies fluttered in your chest every single time you saw him, then it was love. And that's exactly how I felt. I thought everything was perfect...until she showed up.
She said her name was Road Camelot and she claimed she was from superior family called the Noahs. Road didn't look like a bad person until her eyes lingered on dad. Apparently they were rivals of some sort, but I don't remember much after Road visisted. The last thing I remembered was seeing a bloodied up Lavi...and everything went blank from there.
Lavi lips still lingered on mine as I opened my eyes to see a mess of red hair and an eyepatch. I couldn't help but to kiss him back this time because this time, the feelings were there. The same feelings I had for him ever since we were little. Although the memories weren't fully there yet, the feelings were. I wondered what he was thinking at the moment.
He slowly broke away and let his hand fall down onto the bed. Our eyes met and I couldn't seem to take mine away.
"S-so…?" I finally managed to ask. "A-any memories come back?"
He shrugged his shoulders and sighed. That wasn't a good sign. I already knew was going to happen so I looked down at the ground, avoiding his gaze.
"None. Absolutely none. But the feeling was still there." I perked my head up and met his single emerald eye. Maybe that meant that he…
"I mean, the feeling that we've, you know, kissed before."
Oh, dead wrong.
"What about you? Do you remember anything?"
I felt my lips curve downwards and my eyes watering. If Lavi didn't remember, then there was no point in telling him until he did. Besides, I didn't see enough to make something that important out of it.
"N-no, not really. I mean, I just saw flashes of you, me and Road. But that's all it was." I finally replied and turned my head away so he couldn't see as tears made its way down my face.
"Ahh, that sucks. But hey, then I guess that means that you and I definitely have met before and Road does know us." He paused and sighed. "But I guess that's all we're gonna get for now."
I saw in the corner of my eye a figure approaching my doorway. I looked over and saw that man known as Tiedoll standing right outside my room.
"Rosalie-chan, I was wondering if you would like to come down to the cafeteria for a meal. I have some things I'd like to ask you. You're welcome to come too, Lavi."
I blinked and nodded.
He smiled and looked at my door that was taking up a large portion of space on my floor. "So what happened here? A lovers quarrel?"
I waved my arms back and forth and shook my head. "W-what? N-no that's – "
"Relax. I was just kidding." He said in a kind voice.
I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed.
"I'll be waiting in the cafeteria then." He told me and left.
I looked over to Lavi and waited for him to say something.
He waited until Tiedoll was completely out of sight. "I wonder what he wants…" Then he looked back at me with a questionable look in his eye. "Well, should we go?"
"You go on ahead, I'll catch up."
"You sure?"
I nodded. "Yeah, it's fine."
"Okay, I'll see you later then." He stood up and began walking towards my door. Well, my doorframe.
"Lavi, wait!" I yelled right before he left.
He turned around and gazed into my eyes, wondering why I suddenly called out to him. "What's up?"
"Did…did it mean anything to you?" I blurted out and I shut my eyes closed out of embarrassment.
He didn't say anything and when I finally reopened my eyes, I saw him looking at me with uncertainty marked across his face.
Finally, he parted his lips slowly and answered, "It was…just for memory's sake, right?" He said in a dead tone.
I swallowed hard and tried to wipe my face of any hint of despair or hurt. "That's right…" I replied, barely audible.
For a flicker of a second, I saw the hurt reflected in my eyes show on Lavi's face, but then he smiled to cover it up. "Sorry about your door. I'll tell someone to come fix it right away! Anyways, I should get going. I'll see ya around!"
And without another word or glance over his shoulder, he walked out of my room until he was out of sight.
And as soon as he was out of my view, the tears fell down my face again. I already knew that right there, I had forced Lavi to choose between me or the path of becoming the next Bookman. Did he only reply back earlier in that emotionless tone because he couldn't risk being strayed away from that path? But then, when he showed me that expression of hurt etched on his face, did that mean he was already straying from it?
As I began heading over to meet up with Tiedoll, I realized two things.
One; I was causing Lavi to struggle even more with him and his Bookman self.
And two; I was beginning to fall in love with Lavi…all over again.
Stella: I feel like I rushed things a bit. I should've got a beta reader or something...but I'm too stubborn...And it's not as fluffy as I wanted it to be. Actually, it's not even that fluffy. But it's definitely a LavixRose chapter!
Lavi: Whoa~
Rose: W-whoa...
Stella: Ahaha yeah, I might have to edit this one later down the road, too. But now I can finally get to the exciting parts of my story cause it hasn't been that exciting yet!
Lavi: You don't have that much faith in yourself.
Stella: Like I said, this chapter hated me...
Rose: My...feels...
Stella: Well, I'm definitely starting my summer reading tomorrow! So this is most likely my last chapter for a while. Hopefully for two weeks at the most. Gotta go to school next week and all. Senior status~ Ha, not. I don't even care if I'm a senior, I just don't wanna go.
Lavi: Oh you...
Stella: Anyways, please review! I'll accept constructive criticism for this one, but please don't be too harsh. xP Until next time!