I never imagined myself hiding from the Capitol. I was okay with exposing Cato and my love. I would be okay with lying about our love. I would even be okay with completely masking our love. Running from the Capitol because of our love, though, is something I am not okay with. I'm not a fugitive. I have done nothing wrong. I simply fell in love with a boy from another District. I don't see why that is such a problem. I don't understand how that is an act of rebellion. I also don't understand how Snow hasn't found us yet. I know he has everyone searching for us. I wonder what they are saying out there. How is Snow possibly able to cover this up? What sort of lie has he concocted? I'm sure he has the whole nation fooled, though. That's what he does, he deceives people. And everyone in the Districts and every one of the Capitol citizens just falls for it. They don't even bother to ask questions. Only Gale asked questions. He was the only one who verbally announced that what Snow says is bullshit. Poor Gale. I know that our friendship has dwindled, but I miss him so much. I know he must be worried sick about me, because I am worried sick about him. Who knows what Snow has in store for my family.
My sweet Prim, probably scared half to death. On second thought, she is great under pressure. I remember watching her work with my mom on patients. I would stand there frozen while she zipped around the kitchen getting things for my mom, helping sew stitches, using a wet rag to sop up blood. Prim is strong, it's possible she's doing just fine. Plus, I'm sure Cinna has been calling her telling her everything is alright. Gale can take care of Prim, and Prim can take care of Gale. Although, I'm sure Gale has come up with some elaborate plan to come find me. Between the two of them, there is no doubt in my mind that they would tear Panem apart to find me.
"Katniss!" I hear Effie shriek from outside my door.
I bolt out with my bow drawn. The last person to call my name like that was Rue, and I wouldn't let her fate be Effie's.
"It's Haymitch. He's getting worse!"
Haymitch has gone a few days without alcohol and has been more sick than anyone I have ever seen. It's 90 degrees here, yet he is shivering. He has to use all of the blankets to gain warmth. All the while vomiting what little is in his stomach. I heard Cato say it's call withdrawal, something I have never seen before. He says that kids in Two used to go through it when they failed out of the academy and were no longer given enhancement drugs.
"Effie, there is nothing I can do," I say in a solemn tone.
I wish there was something I could do, for three reasons. One, if anyone catches us and we had to run, Haymitch would not be able to make it. Two, he is of no help to us. Cato and I are doing all of the work to take care of us (with a little help from Finnick). Three, I hate seeing him so sick. As much as I hate to admit it, I do care about Haymitch.
"I just want him to be better," Effie sniffles.
She's been crying a lot lately, over just about everything. The other day, we brought back fish to eat for dinner. She ended up crying for an hour because we took the fishes life and "that fish probably had a really great life before we ruined it". I can't help but think that she wasn't just talking about the fish. Part of me does feel bad that I put Effie in this situation. If only she had a better District to escort. If only Prim's name wasn't drawn and I didn't volunteer. If only I had been killed off in the Games.
I shake those thoughts from my head pretty quickly, because it's useless thinking about what could have happened. Instead, I should be focusing on what is happening right now. Cato is out looking for food. I'm here protecting the ones I care about. Finnick is getting us information. How he does that, I do not understand. He says that people pay him in secrets, although I'm not sure what that means.
"Don't cry, Effie, I killed a bird," Cato says as he saunters in.
The tan the sun has given him makes him look even more handsome. His blonde hair is even blonder now, and his blue eyes pop against his light brown complexion.
"Give some to Haymitch!"
Effie and Haymitch never really got along well, but now it seems like he is all Effie has left, and she is not letting him go without a fight.
"He can't handle this, Eff. There's some left over bread and Katniss gathered things yesterday to make soup. We'll take care of him. He will get better."
Something in Cato's tone calms Effie down. He has the same affect on me. Before I am even able to welcome him back home he takes me in his arms and kisses me. He's been doing this a lot lately. I'm not sure why, but I don't mind it.
We sat in almost complete silence while eating dinner. The only sound came from Haymitch, who was vomiting once again. I guess none of us really know what to say. We're all in a really horrible position. There's no bright side to this. There is no light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel will just keep getting longer and darker. We will never be able to escape. We will never be free. We will always be on the run.
Suddenly someone bursts through the door. Instinctively, Cato snatches a knife from the table and I draw my bow. We quickly lower them when we realize who it is.
"Damn it, Finnick. We were about to kill you!"
"They've got Cinna," Finnick says through deep breaths.
Immediately I stand up, as if that is going to do anything. Effie lets her head fall to the table as she weeps. Cato just clutches his knife tighter. I can see his knuckles turn white. It wasn't until now that I realize Haymitch's heaves has ceased. I look over to the doorway and see him standing. A sight I haven't seen in days.
"We're going to get him," Haymitch says with determination and vengeance.
"And how the hell do you plan to do that, Haymitch? Huh!"
All of our eyes widen as we stare at the person whose lips those words just came off of. I would expect that from anyone else in the room, but not her. No, not Effie. I so badly wanted her to hang onto the sliver of hope she has always had. In that moment, in the seconds it took for her to say that sentence, I knew it was gone. She had completely given up hope. I look to Cato for something to say but he has nothing. Finnick's blank face lets me know he has nothing to say as well.
"Don't get that attitude with me, missy! In this room we have the power to take down the entire Capitol. We don't need to do that, though. We just need to get one person out."
I'm not sure where this new Haymitch came from, but I like it. He's right, though. Between Cato's power, my skill, Finnick's secrets, Haymitch's brains, and Effie's knowledge of the Capitol we could do it. We could actually rescue Cinna.
"Now, I'm going to go puke some more. Start planning," and with that Haymitch retreats back into his room.
"Well that was unexpected," Finnick laughs.
I wonder what everyone is thinking right now. As I scan the room and study their faces, I can tell they aren't feeling the same way that I am. Effie is still on the brink of tears, her face has lost most of it's color, and her hands are balled into fists. Cato looks extremely concerned. Like he is going over every possible way we can rescue Cinna, and every possible way it can go wrong. Finnick is just standing there smirking, he is impossible to read. I have no idea what is going through his mind. I feel like I should break the silence.
"So, should we start planning?"
"Katniss, how do you think this is going to work? They almost captured us once when we were guests in the Capitol. Now you want to infiltrate it and expect to get out?"
All of this negativity is driving me crazy. First, Effie. Which was expected. Now Cato, though? I thought he would be the first one to agree to this.
"Yes! That's exactly what I want to do! I want to get in, get Cinna, and get out. If none of you want to do it with me, than I guess it will just be Haymitch and me!"
I can feel my face turning red from screaming. I can feel my hands clench together. I back away for fear that I am going to hit someone.
"You know, Haymitch is right," Finnick speaks up, "we really could do it. Take down the Capitol, I mean."
"No one can take down the Capitol," Effie mutters.
"Effie, do you know who you are in the room with? You're surrounded by three past victors, four including my girlfriend. We all beat the Capitol once, I mean, to an extent."
Finnick's right. Winning the Games is kind of like beating the Capitol. We survived their sick form of entertainment. We survived the Gamemakers and the tributes trying to kill us. We outsmarted all of them. We won. We can win again.
"It'll just be like another Hunger Games, except the arena is the Capitol," I say in a low voice.
All of their heads turn to me. I think they realize that I'm right.
"May the odds be ever in your favor," Effie let's slide off her tongue.
We all burst out laughing, really laughing. The first laugh any of us have had in a long time.
Wooowww it's been so long since I've updated! My life really took a turn in a different direction. I'm pretty busy all the time, now! So I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I figured I should update. I love you all!