I have no idea where this came from, but the idea popped into my head while I was driving to work. It's a bit smutty, but it's meant to be that way! Enjoy and please review!

The New Harvester

or…what really happened after the Bellini, Puccini, and Rossini,

"That was simply wonderful, Sir Anthony," Lady Edith gushed, "I don't know when I've enjoyed myself more." The evening was fine, and the top was still down on Sir Anthony's open Rolls Royce. Lady Edith was very impressed with

her evening with Sir Anthony. He was most considerate of her, taking her arm to help her down the aisle, and once during a particularly stirring Puccini overture, she grasped his arm, and didn't let go for quite a while.

"Did you? Did you really? Well, fancy that." Sir Anthony sputtered as he drove her from the Jarvis's towards home. "I say, you wouldn't want to come see my harvester, would you? I know it's a bit dark, but I daresay we could find a light, what!" Sir Anthony had quickly seen the light with Lady Mary, not his style at all, too uppity, too self-possessed. But Edith, Gawd! Now there was a woman. With any luck, Sir Anthony would get to put his harvester to good use.

"Oh, well, yes! That would be delightful. I did ask if you would show me one of the harvesters, and now I'm going to get to see yours! Is it very big?" she asked looking keenly interested. In fact, that was one of the things he liked about Lady Edith, she was so very interested in what he had to say.

"Oh, I should say so! Largest in the district," he paused, "Or so I'm told." He winked at her. Ah, yes. He had her now. He could hardly wait. Dark barn, fumbling hands, smooth skin.

Lady Edith was fairly quivering with excitement as Sir Anthony drove up to dark barn in the middle of one of his fields.

Lady Edith looked a bit confused. "Is..is the harvester here? This is too small, surely?"

"No, no," Sir Anthony reassured her, "It's right inside. I'll just get a light."

Edith stood uncertainly by the car, while Sir Anthony disappeared inside the barn. She heard a great deal of banging and cursing (Blasted pitchfork!) before Sir Anthony appeared in the doorway holding the smallest lantern she had ever seen.

"Now then, my dear, would you care to follow me?" Sir Anthony walked around the car, and held the lantern out in front of Edith.

"Oh, well…yes, if you're sure?" Edith asked. "I don't want to be a bother!"

"Not at all, my dear, not at all…" He stopped. "May I?" He asked as he took her hand. Here we go…

"Why yes, of course." Edith placed her hand in Sir Anthony's outstretched one. He led her across the pasture and into the barn where…

He promptly 'tripped' over the handle of the pitchfork, pulling Edith down with him into a large pile of hay. Oddly enough, as Edith thought later, but by then it was too late, she ended up on the bottom.

"Oh, Sir Anthony! Have you hurt yourself?" Edith began before she realized that he was on top of her, kissing her neck. "OH! SIR ANTHONY! Please, I…you…(he reached her lips)…um…ah…harves…barn."

To shut her up, Sir Anthony was forced to stick his tongue halfway down her throat. Where, he was shocked to find, the tables were turned.

Lady Edith, grabbed his upper arms and rolled him over.

"Now, Sir Anthony, let's see that 'harvester' of yours, eh?" She unbuttoned his shirt, pulled off his tie, and thrust her hands (when had she taken off her gloves?) into his open shirt immediately finding and then fondling his nipples.

"I say," he began indignantly, "shouldn't I be doing that?"

"Well,"Lady Edith replied, "I should think you can fondle your own nipples at any time - I would think that you should be wanting to fondle mine." She hiked her skirt up so that she could more comfortably pin him down, then leaned down to (devour) kiss him. Sir Anthony was flabbergasted. He was supposed to be taking advantage of her, and here he was, in his own barn, being bullied by this slip of an upstart girl!

Not to be outdone, Sir Anthony bent his leg, grabbed Lady Edith by her upper arms (pinned you, didn't I), and rolled her over. His next move was to have a go at the long (endless) line of buttons that graced the front of Lady Edith's dress. "Oh good GOD!" Sir Anthony wailed. Edith realizing that the poor man must have some help, demurely began to help him undo the buttons. She could see the lust in his eyes, and he was barely able to wait for her to push the dress off her shoulders before he dived into the creamy skin poking out from the top of her corset. With a bit of fumbling, he managed to free her breasts.

"Oh Lady Edith, your…your…" He didn't get to finish before Edith slammed him over onto his back. "Now then." she said. "I came here to see a harvester, and I'm not leaving until I see one, and see it put to good use!"

She tugged at his belt and then at the profusion of buttons that made up his fly. As hard as he was, Sir Anthony was willing to watch her fumble for just a bit before he helped her (sauce for the goose, you know). Finally, after a great deal of fumbling. Sir Anthony's harvester leaped from its barn.

"Oh my Sir Anthony," Lady Edith cooed, taking a good look at Sir Anthony's equipment, "What a magnificent piece of machinery!" She reached her hand out to stroke it, oohing and aahing over it's length and asking questions about it's power."

"How long can this go for before it needs refueled?" She asked stroking him harder.

"Ah well, generally it can go for 15 to 20 minutes before stopping." he replied, one hand on her breasts, the other releasing her garters, freeing her.

"When do I get to use it?" Edith asked coyly. Barely were the words out of her mouth before Sir Anthony once again rolled her onto her back. He used his legs to spread hers apart, rose above her, and said, "Now dear lady." He slid into her and began to put the harvester through its paces. Lady Edith clearly enjoyed having her row furrowed, she wrapped her legs around him and encouraged him to "Put it into high gear, Sir Anthony!" Sir Anthony, always the gentleman (well, nearly always) obliged her and gave his harvester the best workout it had had in ages.

Amazingly they reached the end of the row at the same time, Sir Anthony in high gear, Lady Edith reaping what she sowed; they cried out together, and Sir Anthony collapsed on top of her.

"Oh my dear, that was wonderful." Sir Anthony said. "What a workout for the old harvester!"

"Oh, I don't know if I would call it old," Lady Edith replied, stroking his back, "I think 'broken in' is a better term." She sat up. "Now you must help me with my clothes. Mama will be so worried if I am not back soon!"

"If I may," asked Sir Anthony, "It is most unusual to find a high born lady, with um, your talent for harvesters."

Lady Edith laughed, "Oh, I have been working with farm equipment for some time now."

"Really?" SIr Anthony asked, looking intrigued.

"Oh yes," Edith replied. "I simply won't allow myself to be outdone by that slut, Mary!"