We arrived at my house at about 9 o'clock so we still had about two to three hours before my parents arrived. Matty was kissing me all the way to my room and I was quickly getting carried away until I remembered the fact that I needed to ask him about that family reunion. It did scare me a little bit what his family might think about me, how would Matty introduce me, and if he was honestly ready for our relationship to become as serious as I thought it was getting. Maybe I was over thinking it, which was usually the case. Maybe he wasn't thinking about it as much as I was, or maybe I wasn't the only girl Matty has introduced to his whole family. Either way, as much as I was enjoying this intimate moment, I needed to get it out of my system. I promised myself that this time around I would tell Matty how I felt about certain things instead of just agreeing to everything he says. We both needed to work on our communication skills a little more. We needed less action and more talking.
"I need to ask you something" I said the moment he stopped kissing my lips and started kissing my neck. "What is it?" he said, not stopping kissing me and trying to get my clothes off. "It's about that family reunion you told me about at the restaurant. I'm worried about something". That's when he stopped kissing me and looked at me worried as we sat up in my bed. "What about the reunion?" he said. "What if your parents don't like me? What if they think I'm weird, or the suicide girl, and just freak them out? What if…" I said stumbling upon my words until he grabbed me and kissed me so I could stop saying all this nonsense. After he was done kissing me, we both opened our eyes and looked at each other for about five seconds until he broke the silence. "That won't happen. My parents really want to know you and they would be excited to hear that you will be coming to the reunion." he said with a reassuring smile. He thought that with that answer my face would light up again but that didn't actually happen. My face was exactly the same as one minute ago. Even more questions were running through my head but one was dominating my train of thought. "Are you sure you want to take me?" I asked and immediately regretted saying anything. What would he think of me now? Would he think I'm pathetic or some kind of looser who always want to be accepted? I would. He looked at me for a while until he said, "Of course I'm sure. You are my girlfriend and I love you J".
He said he loved me. That took me for surprise. Last time a guy told me he loved me I wasn't able to say it back. Matty had told me he loved me before (twice if you count the time he told me he loved me in my dream) but at that time, I was with Jake and our relationship was a little strange. This time was different though. I felt that this time around was different and I wanted (not needed) to say something back and not just "awesome". "I love you too" I said relieved that I was feeling better about our relationship each day. I was sure about my feelings as well as his feeling and I didn't have to make an effort for those words to come out of my mouth.
He smiled, looked at me, and gave me the most passionate kiss he ever gave me. This moment was perfect. I couldn't wait for summer to arrive to be all over each other. This was going to be the first summer with a boyfriend. While I was thinking about all the stuff we were going to do over the summer (including camp Pookah), Matty stopped kissing me and suggested we could follow my dad's advice and use the condoms he gave him. I nodded and he quickly started getting my shirt off as soon as he took of his. This time was different though. It wasn't the same as all the other times we had sex. He was taking it slow and kissing all my body at a very smooth pace. His shirtless body and nice chest were on top of me and I immediately thought that a if someone me told a year ago this was going to happen I wouldn't have believed a single word. Sophomore year was chaotic. So many thing (good and bad) happened but I'm glad they did. It gave me a new perspective about my life, who I was, and who I wanted to be with.
After we were done, we decided to just cuddle in my bed and enjoy each other's company for the rest of the time. We decided to watch a movie but soon got bored. We started talking about Tamara and Jake and decided that we would call them the next day and try to get some info about their lives this past week or so. At about eleven thirty Matty said he had to leave so I walked him to the door and he gave me a good night kiss. He was coming tomorrow for lunch and then we would spend the rest of the day studying (or at least I would, even though he is usually a big distraction). About five minutes after he left I heard my parents walk in through the door and I pretended to be sleeping so they wouldn't ask me uncomfortable questions or talk to me about my relationship with Matty, which was usually the case after they arrive from a party and either my mom or my dad is drunk. As soon as I made sure they were sleeping I got my computer and started writing in my blog.