When I woke up in the morning the first thing on my mind was Tamara. I quickly got up, took a shower, got dressed, and had breakfast while my parents were still sleeping. I decided to wait a little before calling T because I figured she would still be sleeping if she had fun at the restaurant. I went on to my computer and started doing my favorite thing: blogging. When my blog went public, I started writing less because I didn't want to spoil my relationship with Matty, Jake, and my friends. Even after I chose who I wanted to be with, I spent so much time with Matty that writing was becoming secondary. I wanted to go back to writing my feelings but this time privately. I didn't want Sadie to write mean comments about my relationship just because hers wasn't working the way she wanted it to work. I didn't want Lissa either to know about Jake's new date because it was pretty obvious that she still had feelings for him. Anyway, I wanted to keep my blog private because I didn't want everyone to have an opinion about my life. So I decided to go back to my writing habits. I wondered what Matty thought when he read the blog (which he probably did since everyone around school was talking about it, and him for that matter).
After writing for quite some time, I decided that it was late enough to call Tamara with the excuse that I wanted to study with her and maybe invite her to come to my house at night so we could talk. Matty was coming over for lunch but we wasn't staying for too long because he said he was going to hang out with his brother and some of his friends. That would allow me to spend time with T and make her tell me the truth. So I called her and she quickly answered. "Hey Jenn what's up?", she said, sounding like she was excited to talk to me. "Hi T. It feels like I haven't seen or heard from you in like forever". "I know", she said "I haven't seen you at school now that you have a boyfriend and spend all the time with him". I knew that wasn't true. Most of my lunches I'd spend with Ming because we would never see Tamara around. She knew it as well and she knew that she was the one avoiding us. "I was thinking that maybe we could study together later tonight and catch up on some stuff" I said, not only thinking about Jake but also about what Matty had told me last night. "Yeah sure I will be there at around eight. Is it ok if I stay over so I don't have to go back home late? I feel like we have a lot to tell each other" she said. "Yeah, sure you can stay over, see you tonight then. Bye" I hung up my phone. I decided that the conversation was a complete success. I would've called Ming and invited her too but her parents had her on house arrest studying for finals (like every year).
I texted Matty and said that tonight I was getting some info on the Tamara/ Jake situation. He texted me back saying that he would be here in a couple of hours for lunch with my family. Soon my parents got up (hungover of course) and my mom soon started cooking so I went and helped her. She wanted to cook Italian food, which was one of Matty's favorite since his uncle served Italian food at his restaurant. While she cooked I was preparing the dessert and my dad was going to the supermarket to buy some things that were missing. This gave my mom the perfect chance to start talking about my date yesterday. "How did everything go last night? Anything special?" She was always very interested about my relationship with Matty probably because it reminded her about her high school life. Ever since the incident of the letter died out, my mom and I had become a little closer. We would have conversations that I would've usually avoided and I could tell that she was concerned about my relationship with Matty because she was afraid that her story would repeat itself. She was just making sure that the decision I made was the one I was sure of. "It was fun. We went to Guiseppe's" I said, trying not to give away all the details about dinner. Of course, she wasn't satisfied with the answer. She waited a little bit for me to say something else and when she realized I wasn't going to say anything, she started bombarding me with questions. "What did you talk about?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant but obiously not succeeding. "We talked about many things and he said he wanted to take me to a family reunion" I answered. She said she was glad that our relationship was becoming better and that we haven't had any problems. "What did you do after dinner? Did he come over?" Of course I was expecting that question, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her that Matty said he loved me. I needed some advice and I wasn't sure if Tamara had the time to listen to me. "Yes, we came home and hang out for a while but he didn't stay for too long. Mom I wanted to ask you something" I said, still debating on my head whether it was a good idea to tell her.
She then stopped cooking and turned around to face me. "What's the matter? Are you sure everything is ok between you and Matty?" she asked. "Yes, everything's ok. In fact I think things are getting better each day, and I can see that my relationship is moving somewhere in comparison to the first time we "dated". Its just that last night he told me he loved me and I got sared. I love him too but I'm scared that it might not end up well or maybe worse than last time or maybe…" That's when my mom stopped me from talking and said, "Its absolutely normal you feel this way. You are scared that now that your relationship is stronger and getting serious, it could end badly. I am not saying that it will, but I do believe that things are changing. I think you should just live the moment and enjoy what is happening to you. You are still in high school and your only worry should be school. Try not to get caught up in the drama that is only in your head. Things good happen to you all the time, even if you only seem to notice only the drama in your life. Think about it".
She was right. All the time I was expecting something bad to happen maybe because this year has been chaotic. But I really needed to stop worrying and had fun. I made my choice and I was more than happy with it. I wasn't going to europe but I was going to spend time with Matty. He said he loved my and, without a single doubt, I said it back. Everything was going my way like Clark said to my at the party. I thought that it was time to start thinking positive. "Thanks mom" I said and with that my dad arrived and we finished cooking lunch. Matty arrived and we started eating.
Thatks for reading. I would like to get some feedback about my story. Feel free to tell me what you think about it and what you would like to see happen to certain characters. I'm trying, in the long term, to have most of the characters appear in some way or another (and some actually have a storyline). I would really like feedback so I can write about what you guys want to see happening. Thanks again