Lunch was interesting. My dad and Matty get along very well. Maybe its because of the fact that Matty is the only guy around he has the chance to talk to about sports. I wasn't interested about football or baseball and neither was my mom so my dad instantly got along very well with one of the most athletic guys at school. While they talked about what my mom considers to be guys stuff, she was constantly fixing my hair, my shirt, and anything that could be fixed. At one point she even suggested me to go and change my clothes because the ones I was wearing were too loose and you couldn't see my figure. I tried to ignore her as much as I could and I was relieved when lunch was over.
We went to my room to hang out for a little bit. He sat in my bed while I grabbed my computer from the desk and the sat next to him. I hadn't notice my computer was on and that I didn't close my blog this morning. I quickly closed it and he notice that my desktop background picture was the picture he took with Tamara and Ming. He took my hand before I had the chance to do something and looked at the picture for a while. He smiled and gave me a kiss in the cheek. "It's a very nice picture. Good memories" he said. I looked at him and kissed him in the lips. He got carried away by that kiss and soon we ended lying on my bed with his shirt on the floor. My parents were on the house so I reminded him about that and he stopped with a kind of dissappointed look. "Maybe next time we will get our chance but when my parents are not home. We don't want them to dislike you just when you are getting along with them very well." I laughed a little but then I remebered I wanted to ask him a question. "I need to ask you something" I said. "Shoot" he said, "I'm ready for everything". I took a deep breath and then looked at him directly in the eyes. "I never asked you this before but did you ever read my blog?". He was silent for a while. Maybe he didn't want to answer and at that point I was doubting whether or not I wanted to know.
"Nevermind, lets forget about it. Pretend like I never asked you anything" I said trying to stop the conversation. "No, you deserve an answer and I have to be completely honest with you. Yes, I did read your blog at the time everyone was taking about it" he said. I wanted to know what he thought about it but before I could ask anything he continued. "At first I was surprised about all the stuff I didn't know about. Like I was your first." This made me blush a little, but he continued. "Or how you really felt about our relationship that I wished I would've known. But mostly I felt ashamed. I wasn't ashamed of what everyone at school thought about me. I was ashamed of all the things I did to you. I knew that keeping our relationship a secret wasn't the way to go but after reading the blog I realized that everything I did was wrong. It made me feel like I was the worst thing ever. After reading it I felt that I needed to fight for you even harder and that if I had a second chance I would make everything right. The moment I saw you kissing Jake at winter formal I relized I was in love with you, but the moment I finished reading the blog I realized not only that I wanted you back; I also wanted to make everything right, what you really deserved after all I made you got through". He stopped talking whe he realized tears were coming out of my eyes. That was the fisrt time Matty ever talked for such a long period of time without stopping. I was starting to get emotional because of everything I was hearing. I only knew how I was feeling but then I realized how much I hurt him too. I could tell, when I was with Jake, that Matty wanted me back but I never knew how much he changed over that time.
"I'm sorry" he said "I shouldn't have said anything. It made you cry."He looked at my drying my face with his kisses. He looked horrible and that made me feel worse. "I'm sorry" I responded. "I should've said something. I was just afraid that you would believe I was just making everything more complicated." "That's not true" he said "If anything I was prtending that everything was ok between us when it wasn't. Its my fault." At that moment I was thinking that when I asked him if he read my blog I was expecting answers like "yes, and I liked it" or "no, I never read it". I never expected for this conversation to end up like this. I was now crying in his arms and he was being completely honest with me. I wiped my tears and siad to him, "But now everything is perfect. We have nothing to worry about because we are together and enjoying our time. We both made mistakes last time that we regret but know we can talk everything out now that we are developing our communication skills". I smiled at him and then he said, "yeah, because last time there wasn't much talking. There was more of this" and then he took me in his arms and started kissing me. He was right. That part of our relationship was the only part that existed before. I was glad now that we had the confidence to talk to each other if something was bothering us.
The conversation died out and the kissing round started. Everytime people are in a vulnerable place things start to heat up, and we weren't the exception. We went back to where we were right before our sonversation started. We were laying on my bed making out and before we started getting our clothes off my phone rang. "Saved by the bell" he said while he laughed. I got up and answered my phone. It was Tamara calling and saying she was coming over in about an hour. I totally forgot about that and when I hung up I saw Matty getting up and putting his shirt back on. He threw me mine and said he was leaving. He was getting tohether with some of his brother's friends and maybe Jake so he gave me a kiss and left (through the front door of course, we didn't want my parents to start thinking that he could come in the middle of he night through the back door). He said good bye to my parents, got into his truck and drove of. About an hour later Tamara arrived home. We got something quick to eat and headed to my room. I was starting to think that we our conversation was going to last a long time and that studying was not going to be included in our plans.