Chapter 3- Clint
Dear Fan Fiction Writers,
Why, oh why do you hate me so much?
I get that Tony, and Steve, and Loki are forced to be paired with guys but that has nothing on what you guys do to me?
I cannot count how many times you have poisoned, shot, killed, harmed, maimed, kidnapped, or tortured me. I have counted at least 25 times I have been forced to die in Natasha's arms as she wept over my convulsing body. I cannot count the number of times that I have just fallen into scrape after scrape after scrape.
Really, do I get any compassion? Any love? The other characters get fluffy, humor stories but of course why me? Why would anyone make Clint Barton's life easy?
Isn't being Loki's mind slave enough? Isn't the fact that I have to live with myself day after day after day knowing about the SHIELD agents I hurt or killed? I'm already traumatized enough, trust me.
And by the way, I would like you to know that I'm not a romantic guy. I am certainly not someone who's going to date just a random girl who walks into SHIELD. So, you can stop those Clint/OC fics right in their tracks.
(And no shippers! This has nothing to do with the fact that I've had a secret crush on Natasha for forever! Seriously it doesn't)
Sincerely,
Clint Barton.
PS. I am an only child. Hear that? ONLY child. I do not have a sister or a cousin and if I did they would certainly not be pining over Steve Rogers.
All right, guys! I like whump fics too, so please don't be offended. I am guilty as charged about loving when characters are injured. Next up is Loki!