Chapter 4- Loki
Dear Fan Fiction writers,
Being a super villain is hard. You're maligned, you're beaten, you're imprisoned, and killed, and forced to be stuck in a glass cage. People can never sympathize with you because they're too busy cheering the heroes on. You rarely achieve your goals.
Not to mention the pay is horrible.
And let me tell you, all you guys are not making my life easier.
Let me tell you. I used to think mortals were weak. I used to call them puny and far below us Asgardians.
Well a few days on has changed all of that.
You, Midgardians, have got to be the scariest, most deranged, most psychopathic people in all the nine realms. (And I'm including myself!) And Fan Fiction has got to be the scariest thing ever invented. (I cannot help but feel rather cheated on that).
Not only am I forced to court one of the most annoying mortals I have ever got the misfortune to encounter (you know who I'm talking about.) Oh, it isn't enough that every other day, I'm paired up with a new girl. A new girl who whose love for me is so pure, so strong, that I choose to give up all my evil, and instead become a rainbow fairy, dispensing ponies and magic and sweet treats to all of Earth.
(I might be exaggerating. But only a little!)
You mortals make me sick.
But, you know what the worst part is? The very worst?
I don't know what cultural habits people in your realm have but in my realm being forced to have more than brotherly love (which I don't even have) with your own brother is counted as creepy.
And really, Thor? Disregarding the disgusting fact, that he's my brother, and a male, who really thinks we would be a good couple? I'm smart and brilliant and dedicated to evil. He's blond, and simple, and so dedicated to the forces of the light that he makes me want to puke.
I swear. I think I'm done trying to take over your planet. I'm not exactly sure I want to rule such a disturbed race.
Sincerely Loki