Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers (2007) or Transformers: Generation 1.

So this is...sort of a crack chapter. To be specific, I'm making Lillian's subconscious a mischievous pranking beast. ;) Figured this story needed a break from the typical angst.

The following songs were used in this chapter:

Ignition by Toby Mac

Flesh by Simon Curtis

:Music:

~0~

I can't believe those idiots left me on base alone. When I had woken up from my nap, the base was completely empty. I decided to walk around for the hell of it, and came to the conclusion that everyone had left for battle. What I really can't believe is that I didn't hear the alarms go off. Red Alert usually leaves them on for awhile. Maybe I should visit him? Haven't done that awhile...Nah. He's probably busy enough as it is. Ratchet's probably preparing for when everyone comes back home and such...

Well, it could be worse.

Really? How?

You could be stuck with Soundwave tentacle love-

What?

Soundwave tentacle love.

And you know that he was tentacles how...?

I kind of investigated Jazz's mind while you were out of it and he was talking to Prowl...?

So I've got a mischievous subconscious...and I'm talking to myself...Great. Ten minutes by myself on the Ark and I've already lost it.

Your alone...on the Ark...

Yeah. And?

Let me phrase this delicately. Your completely alone on the autobots abandoned ship.

...still not following...

Hello! S.C. flailed. You can't get in trouble for pranks!

Not really interested. How about I just read-

In Prowl and Jazz's offices? Or better yet, your now shared room with them! Brilliant!

Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to be doing any reading in either of those places?

You can read anytime. C'mon, think outside of the box, here! You can raid their offices!

For what, pray tell?

Naughty stuff.

I blinked. To do what with? There's no need for me to search their offices. Plus Prowl would kill me for messing up his office.

...Jazz's office? I bet he has some wicked stuff.

Even Jazz knows to keep his private and public lives seperate.

Your kind of giving me a buzz kill. C'mon! There won't be another chance like this in the future!

I still don't get why your so wound up-

That's it!

I'm afraid to ask, but...what?

:Start it up

Turn it on

We can ride this storm:

You've been so tense lately...

:Comatose

Half hearted

Room temperatures fine

Sleep walkin', no dream is even fillin' our minds

Earth shakin'

We be quakin' like a wake up bomb:

Yeah. And?

:Take a look around or come test the water

We won't stop 'til we see morning

So welcome to the quiet before the storm hits:

Nothing gets through that thick head of yours, does it?

:Turn on, turn on

Turn on the ignition

Turn on, turn on

Turn on the ignition

Jump start my heart:

I beg your pardon?

:This is not the way into my heart, into my head

Into my brain, into none of the above

This is just my way of unleashing the feelings deep inside of me

This spark of black that I seem to love:

Service yourself, you idiot! Ever heard of self service?

:We can get a little crazy just for fun

Just for fun

Don't even try to hold it back

Just let go:

I have a sick mind.

:Push up to my body, sink your teeth into my flesh

Get undressed, ta-taste the flesh

Bite into me harder, sink your teeth into my flesh

Pass the test, ta-taste the flesh:

You betcha yer honey ya do, S.C. purred.

:Hold my hands above my head

And push my face into the bed

Cause I'm a screamer baby, make me a mute

You put your hand upon my neck and feel the pulse

Beat, beat, beat, beat

It's like a trigger, get me ready to shoot:

You've pulled a trigger befo', haven't ya?

:Wanna wrestle with me baby

Here's a sneak, little peak

You can dominate the game

Cause I'm tough

I don't play around that often

When I do, I'm a freak

So you'd better believe I like it rough:

I facepalmed. I'm flirting with myself...I've gone psycho...

:This is not the way into my heart, into my head

Into my brain, into none of the above

This is just my way of unleashing the feelings deep inside of me

This spark of black that I seem to love:

C'mon, the Ark is empty. Red won't tell no one. Not that he's even going to notice, considering how busy he is at the moment.

I won't even analyze that.

Good, S.C. purred as I entered the quarter's I shared with Prowl and Jazz. The door automatically locks behind ya, S.C. pointed out. Plus Jazz had the place soundproofed. If yer really that worried about it, ya can take care o' yerself in the bathroom an' lock the door. Ya can wash it off the walls, it'll all go down the drain, and ya won't have ta worry 'bout nothing. It's just an experiment. Not fo' fun. Jus' an experiment. No one said ya had ta like it. Don' make ya any less asexual. Jus' a physical act ta release tension. Jus' an experiment.

I listened to S.C. and locked the door behind me.