Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers (2007) or Transformers: Generation 1. The only song used in this chapter was The A Team by Ed Sheeran.

~0~

I put my head in my hands while taking deep breaths when I finally focused on reality. I swear my daydreams are worse than my actual dreams. I wiped away the tears that had formed with my shirt. I plugged myself into my ipod after closing my laptop. Listening to music always worked on calming me down. I sighed when the lyrics of a certain song sank into me.

She's in the class A team

Stuck in her daydream

Been this way since eighteen

But lately her face seems

Slowly sinking, wasting

Crumbling like pastries

And they scream

The worst things in life come free to us...

I sighed as I sat up. Maybe I should take my subconscious' advice and speak to Ratchet. He already knows asexuality exists. 'The only way to ignore this situation all together is if you are asexual. Are you?' He's a medic and an autobot. Its his job to make sure his patients are functioning and happy. Well, I thought with a slight smile. Depending on the patient. I'm not sure if throwing wrenches at anyone is going to ensure their happiness or safety. I grabbed my laptop and stuffed it in its bag. What the hell? Can't be that bad.

~0~

"Hey Prowl," Jazz said as Prowl commed him.

"How's she feeling?"

"Ah think she's finally coming out o' it. At least somewhat. Based on what was on 'er laptop she's going ta Ratchet."

"Good. Commense the operation. I have to set up the procedures for it."

"Ya already set 'em up," Jazz teased. "Ah saw ya up last night."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Prowl responded neutrally. He couldn't fool Jazz, though. He felt the amusement over their bond.

"Uh huh. Ah'm on it."

"Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Ironhide really going to-?" Jazz giggled. "Primus. Never mind."

"Ya know ya love meh."

"Uh huh," Prowl thought in good humor. "Whatever you say, Jazz. Remember the rules."

"Prowler, yer in mah head. How can Ah not?"

"You'd be surprised. Have fun...Just not too much fun."

"What do ya think Ah'm gonna do? Swing from the ceiling?"

"If you do I'll have to throw you in the brig."

"Oooh...Ah can live with that. Ah love it when ya punish meh."

"I need to start thinking of better methods if you enjoy the torture."

"Ya enjoy it too," Jazz responded teasingly.

"Goodbye, Jazz."

"Prowl?"

"What?"

"Ah'm not going anywhere."

"I know. Neither can I."

"Ya mean ya would want ta?"

"I could never leave you, Jazz. Someone has to keep you in line."

"Aw...That's sweet."

"I hate you."

"Love ya, too, Prowl."

~0~

"Ratchet?" I asked cautiously as I stuck my head around the corner. I was already down the small hall within the med bay, but I wasn't about to just waltz in Ratchet's territory without permission.

"Hello Lillian. Do you require something?"

"I just want to talk to you." We stared at each other. "What?"

"Nothing," he said as he offered his hand. "I just didn't expect you to want to open up so soon after severe emotional damage."

I smiled. "I'm more concerned about you throwing a wrench at my head. Trust me when I say a simple talk isn't as bad."

"I would never throw a wrench at you," he said sincerely as he placed me on a berth. "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I want you to look at this," I said as I held out my laptop for him to look at.

I half expected him to scoff in ridicule before he stood up straight and looked down at me. "How long have you thought of yourself as asexual?"

I blinked. Well that was easy. "Sixteen years. Twenty nine if you count the period in my life where I couldn't feel it at all."

"Have you realized any attraction to any gender recently?"

"Yes. No...Let me put it this way. The couple is Cybertronian. However, there have only been hints of attraction according to my actions. If my estimate is correct it could escalate but it may take time. Hence my next question. Is there any option other than interfacing for the time being that has the same benefits that you desire?"

"Laughter lowers blood pressure and decreases stress hormones."

I raised an eyebrow at his sudden smug look. "Right..."

I froze instinctively when Ratchet wiggled his digits at me. "I could give you a demonstration..."

"T-T-That's not necessary." I cringed when Ratchet neared his servo closer. "There has to be another method."

"Either interface regularly or laugh regularly. I'm not budging on this," he said smugly before crossing his arms. I twitched noticably. Blackmail, my mind whispered. "I'll only refrain if you agree to a compromise."

I crossed my arms. "What compromise?"

"Release through laughter once every solar cycle."

"Year."

"Week."

"Eight months."

"Two weeks."

"Six months."

"Three weeks."

"Three months," I practically begged.

He smiled. "Month. Final offer."

A growled low in my throat before huffing. "Deal."

"Good. Now scram so I can make the proper arrangements with Prowl and Jazz."

"What?" I squeaked. "You can't do that! What happened to patient doctor convidentiality?"

"Well you can't exactly tickle yourself into release. Unless you want me to be your choice torturer, I strongly suggest letting the pair that you may or may not feel attracted to eventually take charge."

Ratchet wiggled his digits at me when I simply stood on the berth and twitched for a full fifteen seconds. I jumped at least a foot in the air before jumping onto Ratchet's hand when he offered it to get down. He poked me when I was about to get off, which sent me bolting out of the room. Just when I thought my situation at the base couldn't get any weirder...the next few weeks proved me wrong.