Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers (2007) or Transformers: Generation 1. So What by Pink was the only song mentioned in this chapter.

~0~

The day when I finally lost it was the day that Primus left the autobots for a vacation at the beach. It was that weird. The morning was fine. I shrugged as usual when Epps asked how I was dealing with Blaster and Sonya being damaged. "It's just a double mental blow. People have handled worse." The question 'have you?' ran through my mind. "I can live with it. Its affecting Blaster and Sonya more than me." That's the sad way of thinking. If the problem isn't mine, it doesn't affect me. But that's the problem. It does affect me...Just in small doses at different times. I'm not the person that has a big crying session and is okay after a cup of coffee. My way of working through a problem is absorbing it and dealing with it. In other words, ignoring it. However, I cannot ignore Blaster since he is my guardian or Sonya since she's my aunt. I would never ignore the autobots. I can accept Sonya having a brain injury and random mood swings. The main problem is Blaster since he has been a moody mess around base. No music allowed even though Prime cleared it. Apparently music ticks Blaster off now. That's great for...no one. Blaster not playing music is like having a human try to fly with no support. Those two things do not coexist and end in destruction unless a miracle happens.

Bluestreak doesn't talk when Blaster's in the same room. Blurr doesn't say anything in that situation except grab Bluestreak and exit before something explodes. First Aid is throwing wrenches at random bots just for fun while Ratchet hasn't touched a damn thing and is socializing with the Twins. All four of them! Hell, Red Alert came out of his office to 'relax' in the rec room and asked Blaster to watch the security room for more than a few hours. That never happens. Never ever for sure ever. Granted, he was drunk from drinking high grade, but...Yet another thing that is absolutely wacky. That stack of datapads in Jazz's and Prowl's office? Jazz is doing both of them while Prowl socializes in the rec room. My brain stalls just thinking about it and this has been going on for weeks.

The humans are either like penguins or ninjas. We either squack loudly with each other with our arms glued to our sides and walk around completely tense or scale the walls. Epps has been in charge of guarding Sonya just to make sure she doesn't say anything to Blaster when she's in her 'hyper happy teenager' mode...Or any mode. She could go psycho on Blaster and it would have the same effect as saying, 'what's up?' Except with Sonya, its not a casual 'what's up?' It sounds like a drunk slur.

'What uuuuup phily willy? Oh, a whale!'

'That's just a plane with a shark painted on it, Sonya.'

'Really? Who the ****-? Trying to **** me, man? Who killed the bait? Ah man! I wanted to be the bait! Who keeps stealing my job? Yo, Lennox! Got a mission?' It would be tragically hysterical if Blaster wouldn't stomp out afterward.

I think Primus really stopped reality when Bumblebee, Sam, and Leo showed up. Don't get me wrong. I was happy that I finally got to see them. One problem. Bumblebee was pink. When he wasn't driving, he wore a tutu. One morning he actually danced in it like a balerina and hummed to his own tune. Sam turned into Samantha with a pink dress, breasts, black converse sneakers, and shaved everything minus her now black punk hair styled like Pink the singer. I had nothing against that besides the fact that Leo was the classic nerd on her arm. I'm talking suit, tie, black square glasses, and the brain to match. I was seriously beginning to wonder if Leo went to M.I.T for punishment and learned something while he was there when he started listing Cybertronian facts. I held my arms limbly at my side as I talked casually with him during that conversation, but some distant voice in my mind was calmly whispering 'wtf is going on...?'

Compared to the days when everything was in the Twilight Zone, I was having a relatively calm day...until Prowl came up to me in the rec room next to the coffee station. "Hello Lillian." I looked at Prowl's holoform. Typical hot cop with one side effect. You know those blue glasses at Claire's with the stripes across them so you can't see...? With the tiny mustache dangling from it to match...? Prowl was wearing those. Prowl.

My lips twitched as I raised an eyebrow. "Hello." Don't laugh. If you laugh I will kick your aft.

He smiled. "Is something the matter?"

"Nope." I looked over Prowl's shoulder so I wouldn't have to look at him. "I realize you've been socializing a lot recently. Did you loose a bet or something?" You had to if you're wearing those glasses.

Prowl laughed. The mustache moved in the wind. "What? I'm not allowed to talk with my fellow soldiers?"

Who the hell gave Prowl a shot of happiness? "I didn't say that."

He smiled a smile that I would associate with a guy talking with a girl at a bar. Sloppy, confident, and drunk. Scratch that. Who put high grade in Prowl's coffee? Maybe someone put something in my coffee. That would explain a lot. "N'aw." N'aw? N'aw. Wtf? "Jazz is just being kind. He said that he wanted to give me a break. I give him one every solar cycle, of course." I thought he winked...but it was kind of difficult to tell with the glasses.

I had enough. I had to say something. "Prowl," I said calmly. "Can you see throughthose things?"

"I can see through more than just these glasses," Prowl said in a way that reminded me distinctly of flirting. But Prowl doesn't flirt in public. Prowl doesn't flirt. "Besides that," Prowl said after I blinked. "I'm glad that you noticed. Shall I show you what I've been working on lately?"

I blinked again. This is not Prowl. "Sure."

"First Aid, turn up the volume!" Not Prowl, I repeated over and over again when Prowl strut like he knew I wanted it. By Primus, I thought when I took the chance once Prowl's back was turned to look down. Is Prowl wearing black heels? I looked beyond Prowl. Why is First Aid beat boxing like a rapper, have Blaster on his shoulder, and...? I blinked twice. Is that Red Alert dancing?

When Prowl turned around and started to strut back to me, Galloway walked in. "No music in base! Turn that down before I-!" A pink mech I swore to Primus was Bumblebee walked passed Galloway and almost knocked him over. "Watch it, female!" Galloway snapped.

"Who are you calling a female, punk?" My hand flew to my mouth. By Primus its Ironhide, I thought in horror. Laugh and die, I thought as Galloway turned red in the face and scrambled out of the room.

He tripped over Optimus' foot on the way out. Optimus put his hands on his hips and smiled at Ironhide. I could tell because his face mask was down. "Hey baby, what's shakin'? Ain't I hot like a firetruck?"

Ironhide grinned, ran to Optimus and glomped him screaming, "darling!"

I fell. To the ground. I swear I laughed for five minutes straight. Me laughing was apparently the trigger because everyone, bots and humans, burst out laughing.

When it was relatively calm in the room, Sam walked up to me with a grin on his face, heels in hand. "How the hell did you keep a straight face for so long? We thought for sure you'd crack once you saw Bumblebee or Prowl."

"She did," Prowl said with a smile on his face. His arms were crossed and he still wore the glasses.

I snorted and laughed again. "Who-?" I gasped out before taking deep breaths and calming down enough to look at Prowl. "Who the hell paid you? And you!" I pointed at Ironhide and laughed again. I held onto Sam. "Okay, how and why?" I asked in amusement. I looked straight at Optimus. "Or is that a stupid question?"

The smile remained on his face. "Twins."

"That's who," I said in amusement. "Not how and why. Oh my god, Red!" I ran up to Red Alert, suddenly full of energy. "Dude, high five!" Some people laughed at my excitement. Red Alert calmly held out his hand for me to high five after Inferno nudged him. I looked at First Aid. "You too, man! C'mon!" First Aid smiled as he enthuisastically did so. "Dude, your dancing rocks!" I said to Red Alert. "You were all duh duh duh, duh duh duh pow!" I said as I danced as if I was on a sugar high. I pointed at Blaster after I did the disco. "And you played me! Not cool!"

Blaster laughed. "Sorry, Lil. The Twins wanted to get you back for that dare and your prank."

"Cheerin' ya up was a plus, too," Jazz said with his hands on his hips. "Ya were in a funk."

I raised an eyebrow as my smile widened. "Jazz," I started in amusement as people chuckled. "Why are you covered in purple paint and wearing a purple tutu?"

Jazz skipped up over to Bee. "Ya like? This twas' operation doomsday. If this didn't work, we were gonna give up."

"That was enough," I said as I pointed to Ironhide and Prime. "Did you guys plan Galloway...?"

There was laughter all around at that comment. "Chance encounter," Ironhide said with his arms crossed and a smile on his face.

"Well I have to say that that was the best prank that I have ever been on the receiving end of. I would congrat the Twins, but they aren't here."

"I believe they're in the med bay with Ratchet," Prowl said in amusement.

"Yeah." Jazz giggled. "Getting their processor's checked."

"You should get yours checked, too, Jazz," Prowl said seriously even though he had a smile on his face. "Only an insane mech would wear a tutu."

"I beg your pardon?" Bumblebee asked with his hands on his hips.

"I happen to think that I look attractive, thank you very much!" Jazz exclaimed. "Well fine! I don' need ya! Blasta!" Blaster laughed before playing So What through his speakers. Everyone fell over laughing again when Jazz started dancing with Bumblebee.

I recovered enough after a minute to look up at First Aid. "Aid," I said in amusement. He nodded before lifting me up and bringing me to the med bay. I heard the familiar clank of a wrench colliding with metal before laughing. Everything really was back to normal. "Twins," I said when First Aid and I entered. "You win at life. You all deserve a free 'no wrench' pass."

"Tell that to Ratchet," Sunstreaker grumbled as he rubbed his helm.

"I'm guessing the prank was a success?" Sonya asked from the berth that was closest to the door. She had a smile on her face with her arms crossed.

First Aid put me down before going over to Ratchet. "You are the worst aunt ever for making me think you were brain damaged," I said in amusement before hugging her. "But I love you anyway."

"As do I," she said when we seperated. "Love you, I mean. No need to make my ego bigger by saying I love myself."

I snorted. "Right."

The mini twins whisled. "Damn girl. You hot for your aunt?"

I made a face. "Ew."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Ow! Femme, what the hell-? Ow! Stop that!"

"No swearing," she berated in amusement.

"Who the hell-? Ack! Damn girl! Ow! This is abuse!"

"What's abuse is not telling me you were attracted to Jazz."

I blushed when I lifted my head up. "What? You know Jazz? Ow! Who gave you a wrench?"

"That's not important," she said in amusement. "And of course I know Jazz. Doesn't everyone?" She had a point. "I know we don't talk much, but can't you share a girl moment with me once?"

"You wanted me to convert to straight and I was upset."

She blinked. "When did I say that?"

I finally dropped my arms and looked at her in confusion. "When you were yelling at me about the silent treatment." She blinked again. "You said something about classes and paying for them...?"

"Oh that. Lilly, when I said you were questioning yourself, I was talking about a sex change."

I blinked. "What the-?" She held up the wrench. I held up my hands in response. "What possessed you to think that I wanted a sex change?"

"Well you haven't had sex yet and you've never masturbathed, so-"

"Sonya!" I screeched.

"What?"

"You don't announce that!" I said as I flailed.

"Why not? We're in the med bay with two medics. I figured it was safe to."

"Yeah, with four patients."

She smiled. "Those four patients left."

I looked at where the twins were a minute ago before huffing and crossing my arms. "Who told you that I've never done any of those things?"

"Blaster and Ratchet."

"Ratchet, you-Where'd he go?" I heard moaning from Ratchet's office. "Never mind."

"Lillian, is it so unrealistic that we thought that you were uncomfortable with your body with those personal factors?"

I pursed my lips before sighing. "No. I'm not uncomfortable with my body, Sonya. The reason why I've never done any of those things is because I'm not interested in sex."

"Until you met Jazz," she said in amusement.

"How did you get this information?"

"Blaster."

"You know-? Ow! Seriously femme, quit doing that! I have enough injuries!"

"I'll stop hitting you when you wake up," she said seriously. "I've been Blaster's socket for years."

I blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"He never told you?"

"No. He's been too busy trying to court me into interfacing."

"Really? I'll have to punish him for not telling me that."

I made an X with my arms. "I did not need that mental image."

She grinned. "I would love to know where your mind goes."

"No you don't."

"Did it involve a whip?"

I facepalmed.

I heard a chuckle behind me. "Does now."

"Don't you dare encourage her," I grumbled to Jazz as Blaster lifted Sonya up to his spark.

"C'mon, Blaster," Sonya said with a wink. "Let's leave these kids alone and go do some crazy things with a whip."

"Evil femme," I mumbled before Sonya threw the wrench at my head. "Ow! Blaster, control your femme!"

"Oh, I will," Blaster said with a wink before leaving.

I rubbed my head. "We did not just witness that," I said to Jazz as he offered his hand to me.

"Ah dunno," Jazz said I climbed on. "Might be kinda hard ta delete it from meh main frame-"

"Try."

"Alrighty."

"Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are we going?"

"Our room."

"Why?"

"There have ta be a reason?"

"No. I just thought you might want to wash the paint off first."

"Prowler'll do that later. Ah jus' wan' ya ta hear somethin'."

I raised an eyebrow. If he has to wait until then...Is it something bad? Jazz set me on the ground once we were safe inside the main room. Jazz sat next to me. I waited...observed Jazz slowly display a grin...and heard something that sounded, oddly enough, like my experiment a few weeks ago. He was on base...He was on base. And he recorded the whole thing! Scrap! "I...um...that-it-um..." Jazz grinned at my burning face. "I suppose this would be a good time to read my rights?"

"Ah ain't gonna publish the thing, Lil," Jazz chuckled.

"Why record?" I mumbled.

"Fo' fun?"

"I thought you were, you know...fighting."

"Prowl an' I always hang back fo' a big mission ta protect the base. I 'twas-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Prowl was on base?"

"Yeah."

"Does he know?"

"Does it matter if he does?"

I facepalmed and groaned. "Scrap."

"He ain't gonna tell no one, Lil."

"I know, but...scrap."

"Where'd ya get a mouth like that?"

"Sam." Where else?

"Actually..." I looked at Jazz inquisitively. "Neva' mind. Sammy'll tell ya later."

I snorted as I looked away. After ten seconds or so I glanced back at him. "So...um..." He smiled at me. "Why'd you play it? The recording."

"Fo' a reaction."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"Are you going to keep it?"

"Do ya wan' meh to?"

No! I glanced in the opposite direction again. "Not really," I grumbled.

He chuckled. "I'll delete it, Lil. Don' worry."

Yeah, sure. When, exactly? When you get through using it for blackmail? I huffed before frowning. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yep." I stared at the ground. "Don' tell meh Ah'm annoying ya already. What's it been? Five minutes? Dang girl. Am Ah that crazy?"

I smiled slightly. "Your not crazy," I reasurred before turning my head away more so that my hair covered more of my face. "Your sweet," I mumbled. Which is why it's so difficult for me to decide whether to show you this or not.

"Well, Ah won't ova stay mah welcome," Jazz said as he stood up.

I looked up at him, confusion written all over my face. "Jazz, its your room. You don't have to leave."

"Our room, Lil," Jazz corrected. "Besides, ya need space right now. Ah see that."

"Wait!"

Jazz froze mid step and looked back at me, concerned. "What up?"

"Can you sit down for a sec?" I asked with nervous eyes.

He obligued. "Why do Ah get the feeling ya gonna shoot meh?"

I pursed my lips in disaproval. "I would never shoot you, Jazz."

"Then what up? Yer wound up tighter than a turbo spring."

"I have to show you something that's been...bothering me..."

"Are ya waitin' fo' meh ta rust o' somethin?" Jazz asked after thirty seconds.

"I'm just...trying to figure out how to word it..."

"Ya jus' said ya would show it to meh, Lil. Wanna sit on meh lap?"

"No, that's...not necessary..." If you decide to shoot me, I at least have a fighting chance. "Just...promise me you won't be mad?" Or go psycho lover on me...?

"Yer kinda scarin' meh, Lil. Is it that bad?"

I looked down. "It's...um...no, I guess not..." I held out my hand. "Cable?" I whispered. "Please?" Jazz obliged. I took a deep breath as I plugged in. Once the noise in both our heads calmed down, I showed the dream that I had in the medbay after the truth and dare incident. I waited...and waited...and waited. My heartbeat was rapid as I imagined what Jazz was thinking. To kill or not to kill? It was idiotic to think he would, but I couldn't help but question if maybe he had been a decepticon at one point. Not that it mattered. Soundwave was easy enough to change to neutral. But that didn't matter. Not really. He's with the autobots now, why should it matter? It doesn't. What mattered was his reaction...I wasn't getting any.

I felt Jazz disconnect. "Ah have ta go get Prowl," Jazz said in a low tone.

I nodded, not looking up as Jazz left. When the door closed behind him, I brought my knees up to my chest and lowered my head. He's not coming back, is he?