VIII: The Q and A
I've fully lost track of time. I do not have the slightest idea what day it is, nor what month or even what year. I've been in hell for a while now, that's all that I know. I hear Axel snort from his place on the bed and I look up towards him, from my place...chained against the wall. "It's only been five days," Axel drawls, lowering his book to look at me.
"How do you know what I'm thinking?" I ask, and he just rolls his eyes before going back to reading. I don't know what he's reading because the book has no title or anything. It's just a plain, leather bound book and he's read it for hours, every single day. I groan and toss myself back against the wall. The heat doesn't bother me too much anymore, but when the rock burns my skin, it still hurts horribly. I bite my lip and just wait for the pain to get so intense, I go numb.
The heavy, metal cuff around my ankle is really bothering me, the thick chain is constantly getting in the way. When I sleep, it touches me and the hot metal singes my skin wherever it makes contact, it even makes the little 'ssssss' sound.
If you're wondering why I'm bound to the wall, it's because I tried to escape during the party. I don't know what got into me, but I somehow figured I could do it. There were souls and demons everywhere, Axel could have easily lost sight of me and he did, at least for a short while. Riku had left long ago, Axel having dismissed him to pester me. I know I had previously banished the thought of trying to escape, but it just kept coming back to me and being the idiot I am, I thought it'd work.
It was when he invited me to dance that I saw my chance. He took me away from the thrones and towards the main area where everyone else was grinding and moving together. It was hard to get far enough and looking back now, very stupid but I don't know what came over me. I should have just stayed with Axel, and maybe it would have spared me this punishment. I knew he'd find me, the second I left the party and stumbled out into open hell, I knew he knew where I was. The pain in my stomach slowed me down a lot, and when I felt it slowly ebb away, it was a weird mixture of relief and horror.
He wasn't too pleased when he saw me, and I meekly tried to talk him out of beating me, but it didn't work. I don't know where he got it from, but a whip materialized in his hand and he just went to town on me. I would have had deep, oozing cuts but I don't. There is no evidence of what happened, except for that faint sting I still feel on my skin. Aside from the whipping, he chained me to the wall and I've been here ever since. He says it's only been five days, but it feels like I've been here an eternity already. I groan again and Axel seems to get fed up with my complaining. He stands off the bed, tossing his book off to the side and coming towards me. I shrink against the wall and watch as he stalks over, finally stopping a few steps away.
"I never knew having one of you around would be so tiresome," He says slowly, watching me as I try and melt myself into the rock. He crosses his arms, still watching me and the look on his face reminds me of how a mother would stare at her child, after it's been annoying her all day. I glare at him, crossing my own arms over my bare chest and he finds this a little amusing.
"Let me go then, send me to the suicide place where I'm supposed to be," I hiss and he just laughs, crouching down to look at me, face to face. He's much too tall though, so he still ends up having to stare down at me. I back up a little more, but it accomplishes nothing. I'm as pressed against the wall as I'll ever be. Axel reaches out and grabs a few strands of hair, playing with them between his fingers, but he doesn't say anything. He takes his eyes off my face, and looks off towards somewhere I can't see. The slitted pupils seem to get even thinner, looking like they're zeroing in on something. I stay frozen, just watching his face closely, not even moving an inch.
"I understand you have some questions for me," Axel says, his voice sounding far away and it creeps me out a little. I squirm in my place, and his eyes snap back towards me, making me stop mid squirm and I swallow thickly, nodding my head. "Well, ask them. I feel like a little Q and A," He sits back in front of me and crosses his legs, looking so strange sitting Indian style on the ground. I stare at him curiously, just amazed, really.
It hits me from time to time, that this is the real devil. Axel is the real thing and not what I was taught to believe. It's just really hard to get through my head, that he's the fallen angel everyone's been talking about for decades. I figured the bible was wrong, and that no one really knew what they were saying but they were waaaaaay off on this one. It makes me curious about God and Jesus and every other person and thing mentioned in the holy book.
It sinks in a little later, that Axel just told me he wants to answer some questions and I perk up, pulling away from the wall and scooting towards him. I hear the chain scrape against the rock as I move, and it occurs to me that I should somehow try and convince him to let me go. After this, of course. "How come you can read my thoughts?" He doesn't seem surprised by this question and instead, he leans back and stares up at the high ceiling for a few seconds.
"I'm the devil, I can get into anything, including a human mind," He smirks, looking pleased with himself before motioning for me to ask another question.
"What's heaven like?" He laughs, rolling his eyes and I feel a little stupid, but I'm really curious to know. I always thought about going to heaven when I was younger, the idea of a promised eternal paradise would make anyone feel good about their religion, but that was until my life went to shit. I realized there could never be somewhere with eternal joy and pleasure, then I realized there is no God. Well, I was wrong about there not being a God, so I must be wrong about heaven too.
"It's alright," Axel shrugs, making a thinking face, "a lot of open space and bright light...In my humble opinion, hell is where it's at, baby," Axel leans forward to lick the tip of my nose and I pull back hard, almost hitting my head on the wall. I wipe at my face but keep my mouth shut, but it's a little harder to do when Axel starts laughing. I'm afraid I might scream at him, until he leans forward again and kisses me. I can't pull my head back, so I just go with it. I won't admit it yet, but I enjoy the devil's kisses. If I can though, I pull away and retaliate but when I'm stuck between him and a wall, I see no use in struggling. Besides, I'm coming to learn that everything I do willingly, feels much better than when he forces me to do something.
When he pulls away, I always expect to have to gasp for breath, but I'm reminded time and time again that I'm dead, therefore no longer need air. My head is a little cloudy, and it's much harder to concentrate now, but I fight my way out of the daze.
"You were the kid from the clock tower, right? And you've been around before...that's how you know about Hayner?" I'm sure he was, in fact when I mentioned the clock tower before, he didn't deny it but I want to hear him say it. I want to know for sure that I'm not crazy. I saw him before I killed myself, and of that I'm almost certain.
"Yes, as I've said before...I've been watching you for a while." He looks away from me, and again that far away look takes over his face, and for a split second, he seems very deep in thought. I hesitate, wondering if I should keep asking questions and I figure I should. I need to know why. Why me? Out of the billions of people on earth, why did he have to chose me?
"But why? What did I ever do to deserve this?" I feel myself choking up and Axel rubs at his eyes tiredly before taking a deep breath. I wonder if he can breathe, because it looks much more satisfying when he inhales, than how it feels when I inhale.
"Like I said kid, your soul was promised to me by your father, long before you were even in his thoughts." My eyes widen and I stare at him, I can feel the beginnings of a scream, bubbling in my stomach and my tear ducts feel like they're swelling, getting ready to unleash a flow of tears like none other. I blink a few times to stop myself from going into shock and it takes a few seconds, but I pull myself together just enough to question this further.
"What could my father want from you?" I don't mean for it to come out sounding like it does, but I can't take it back and Axel sends me a nasty look before propping his head up in his palm.
"People want all sorts of things, and if they want it bad enough, they're willing to give you anything you ask. Hence, how I got your soul, along with many others. I gave him what good, old Hosanna could never, in exchange for his first born son." My eyebrows furrow hard in confusion, and Axel seems to have anticipated this reaction. He stays quiet, letting it all slowly seep in.
"I'm not the first born...Sora...my brother is..." I'm finding it hard to believe that my father would make some sort of deal with the devil, but I'm really in no position to call Axel a liar. My father was always an asshole, and I'm sure he was since way before I was born. He was glad when I came out but not because he supported me. I think he was just excited because he had a real reason to finally disown me and have my mother agree, then with me out of the picture, he could have his perfect catholic family. Regardless of how he treated me, he was such a man of God, it's hard to believe he actually went to Satan for help instead of just staying on his knees, praying and waiting for Jesus to finally come around.
"I was originally supposed to take your brother, but then I figured I could wait around...I never really liked brunettes much and I knew the next child was going to take after the father," Axel picks at the dirt under his nails absently while telling me this, like it's nothing big and I figure it mustn't be to him. His soul was never given away like a cheap, unwanted secret Santa gift. I swallow thickly, but it hurts my throat. So, the entire reason I was picked by the devil was because I have my father's blonde hair? I start shaking my head, feeling on the brink of hysteria.
"You're lying...that...that can't be the truth," My voice sounds hoarse when it comes out and Axel sends me a strange look. I watch his tongue stab out from between his pale lips and flick at the air, before sliding back into his mouth and he stands up, dusting off the bottom of his pants.
"It is how it is, Roxas. Your father's a bastard and I've got a soft spot for blondes," he starts making his way back to the bed and I crawl forward, standing up on shaky legs, barely managing to walk after him. I reach out and grab him, before I feel the chain go tight. If he would have been a few paces farther, I'd have never caught him.
"You've made deals with people before...you've taken souls a million times...then how come I'm the only one in this room with you? Where is everyone else?" I into his eyes pleadingly, all I want is a straight answer from him. I don't understand why he chose me, even if he says it's because my father promised me off. It still doesn't make sense. Souls don't vanish, and he's the owner of quite a few, so how come I'm the only one stuck wearing a fucking thong and rabbit ears? "Please...I just want to know," I grip the fabric of his sleeve tightly and he looks down into my face, silent.
I don't look away, and instead I stare right back at him, into the bright green eyes that remind me more and more of snakes every passing day. His eyes quickly flicker across my face, stopping at my mouth before coming back up and finally staying at my eyes. He stays quiet for a long time, just staring into my face, and slowly he lifts his hand, the backs of his fingers are like ice when they touch my cheek. It's a strange, tender touch which leaves me a little baffled. The sweet scent I've noticed he has, drifts towards my nose like an airborne virus.
My grip loosens, until I'm barely grasping him at all. I feel something strange begin swirling in my middle, in the same place the pain usually erupts from when Axel goes too far, only this is nothing like that. My eyelids feel heavy, and the longer I stare at Axel, the more I forget about my previous question. I know he must be hypnotizing me or something, because I can't look away now...and...part of me wants him to kiss me. I'm struggling to maintain above it, holding his stare steadily and not letting this slide that easily.
A thin vibration starts under my feet and Axel pulls away quickly, a black portal opening up ahead of him and I notice the buzzing is coming from inside of it. I've never heard the sound before, because it's never been this quiet. I can hear the noise of rushing wind and somewhere deep in the blackness, something crackles like wood in a fire. "I've grown bored of answering your questions," and just like that, Axel slips into the hole and disappears from the room, leaving me behind again and all alone.
I don't know why Axel wants me around him, I don't know what I'm even supposed to be doing while he's gone. All I've done the last few days is sit on the ground, counting rocks and asking Axel questions that usually go unanswered. I don't know what about me intrigues him, but I wish I knew.
I can't be the only one he's kept in his room though, and part of me is sure there have been others...so with that knowledge, I have to wonder where they've all gone. It's a frightening thought, but I figure Axel must have gotten rid of them somehow, and all those used souls could just lying in a ditch somewhere, lost in hell, doing nothing for the rest of eternity.
Just like on Earth, I have no purpose for being. I mean the other souls I've seen, live to be tortured, and while that may not be the best, they are still there for a reason. They all go through their days doing what they know they have to do, while I just sit and wait for the moment the devil grows weary of me, and decides to trade me in for a new soul..and when that happens, what will I do?
A/N: Oh hai guys, it's me again, with another TDT update.
I know, I know...it's not Brotherly Love and it isn't written by Billy Shakespeare, but forgive me.
This chapter just kept screaming at me from the back of my head. It was demanding and it frightened me very much...so like any sane person, whose stories speak to them...I did what it told me to.
Let's just be glad all it wanted was to be written, and not for me to do something crazy, like kill my parents or something.
Anyway, some of you might be glad to know that the new(and last) Brotherly Love chapter is 9 pages finished, just a few more and it'll be ready for release...-snort-
So, keep a look out for that or if you don't read it, y'all can be excited because you can expect crazy updates for this story.
(Also, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I'm trying to worm some sort of twisted romance into this in my own perverse way. I'll be damned if Roxas doesn't enjoy sex with DevilAxel!)
...Well...I guess that's it, so uhm...you know...Thanks for reading...-slips you a ten dollar bill-
That should cover the whole night...right?