Late December 1914
Christmas has come and gone, and yet Anna's gift still remained in John's top drawer. John had hoped to find a time when he and Anna were alone, but this goal proved impossible, every moment spoiled somehow. The nearest John got was the night after Christmas. The servant hall was nearly vacant, but John, Anna, Miss O'Brien and two hall boys remained. John had planned on waiting everyone out and it nearly worked as O'Brien left. But just as John left to grab the gift from his room, Mr. Carson ordered everyone in the hall to bed. John considered telling Anna he had something for her, but he remained silent, hoping to surprise her. John did not want Anna to think he forgot about her, but the further they got from Christmas, the more anxious he became. He believed Anna would love the book, but small doubts crept into his mind as past Christmas's with Vera crept into his mind.
Five days had passed since Christmas and John was no closer to giving Anna the gift. The servants' ball was set for that evening and John prepared in silence. His Lordship dressed quickly so John had a little extra time before the start of the evening. John was not a vain man, but he found himself rechecking himself again and again in the mirror. As he caught his eye in the glass, he managed a grin because all of this fuss was for Anna. After John heard the other male servants outside his door rustling towards downstairs, he grabbed his cane and followed them down.
The music and dancing have yet to start, but most of the servants were in the room. John scanned the crowd for Anna, but she was most likely still tending to the girls. John sat quietly at one of the tables, but moments later, was back on his feet. All of the servants stood to attention as the family descended the stairs, Lord and Lady Grantham followed by their three daughters. The servants all clapped and cheered for the family, yet John caught sight of Anna as she followed the girls down. She floated down the stair and he felt his heart race as he watched her. Anna caught John staring and immediately blushed, and all John wanted to do was hold her. But no, he mustn't.
Lord Grantham opened the evening with a few words of appreciation to the staff and a moment of reflection for all the soldiers scattered across Europe. John noted how Anna's eyes immediately filled with concerned as she looked towards Lady Mary. John turned his attention to the young lady and noticed how ashen her face was. John knew the reason. Matthew Crawley had left nearly a month ago for training and was to be sent to France after the New Year. Anna had confided in John how she had caught Lady Mary crying after the announcement. John was not a praying man, but he hoped dearly that Matthew would return home in one piece. John knew even his Lordship was worried about Matthew, not just because he was the heir, but because he loved the man as a son. Before John was able to get any further lost in his thoughts, he realized the music had started so he took the opportunity to return to his seat.
As the Lordship's valet, John was supposed to dance with the dowager, but that tradition was suspended the previous year. He did not object at the time due to his less than stellar dance skills. But John wished he could go back in time and change his decision. But alas, he once again had to sit out all the dances, but this year, he did not want to. He wanted to be able to get out in front of everyone, and dance with Anna. John would have had to dance with the dowager, possibly one of the daughters, and of course some other servants, but it would have been worth. He would be willing to spend the whole night dancing with Miss O'Brien if he would be able to have just one dance with Anna in front of everyone with no backlash or consequences. But no, John was resigned to sit and watch as William, a gardener, and even his Lordship danced with his Anna. John's main focus was to not spend the night gawking at Anna, but he had to constantly remind himself to look somewhere else. As John scanned the room, he realized nearly everyone was there, which meant the servants' hall was empty. After days of failed effort, he finally had the chance to get Anna alone. John only had to get Anna's attention as she was in the middle on conversation with Lady Sybil.
As John stood, Anna's eyes turned to him immediately. It appears he was not the only person keeping tabs on someone that night. John nodded his head towards the refreshments' table and gave a slight wink. He doubted anyone else noticed the exchange, but Anna nodded slightly in return, signifying that she understood. John slowly walked towards the drinks as he waited for Anna to excuse herself. The perfect opportunity came up as Branson asked Lady Sybil for the next dance.
Anna took a place next to John and joked, "Is that your way of asking me to dance?"
John replied, "No, you know how I like to dance." Anna's face burned red clearly thinking about their kiss. John continued, "I wanted to get your attention. Can you meet me downstairs in the servants' hall in about 10 minutes? I have a surprise."
Anna nodded, "I'll meet you down there."
And with that, John returned to the outskirts of the room. He double checked to see if anyone was looking, and then left for his room. He grabbed the book and made his way to the servants' hall. Normally, the amount of steps in such a short period would bother his knee, but all John noticed was the thumping in his chest. He could not tell if it was nerves or excitement, but it nearly caused him to fall down the stairs. John regained his composure as he reached the servants' hall. Anna was not there yet so he sat in his usual seat, waiting. He decided to hide the present on the seat next to him, wanting to bring it out at the most opportune moment. John was beginning to wonder if someone stopped Anna before she was able to escape when he heard her sweet footsteps.
John stood to attention just before she entered. "Good evening, milady." He teased as he even slightly bowed.
"Oh shush, clearly I am no lady, I'm sneaking off to meet a man, alone, with no idea of his intentions." Anna replied.
"Only honorable, as always. I must confess I have been trying to get you alone for a while, but especially this week." Anna's eyebrows raised as John said this.
John chuckled at her reaction, "Well, at least since Christmas, you don't think I forgot about you, have you?" John took the opportunity to bend down and grab the present.
"It's not very much, but I wanted to get you something." And John handed the present to Anna. She hesitated initially but finally reached for it. Her hand brushed against John's ever so slightly as she grabbed it, and yet, John felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise.
"Mr. Bates, you did… I mean, you shouldn't have. I didn't get you anything." Anna just stared at the gift in her hand. "No one has ever done anything like this. Even my parents only sent me a card this year. I don't know how to thank you"
"Anna, it's nothing. And please open it before you sing praises. It's truly nothing."
Anna sat down with the gift and began to open it. She remained silent the entire time as the paper was removed. John took the opportunity to pull the chair out and sit next to her. He tried hard to read her expression but he could have sworn there were tears in her eyes. Finally, she looked up at him and smiled. She briskly brought her lips to his cheek.
John's hand immediately touched where her lips were. "So you like it?"
"I love it." She whispered. Anna opened the cover and lightly traced her fingers over "My Dearest Anna."
A tear gently slid from Anna's eyes. John cupped her face and wiped the tear with her thumb. They had never dared such closeness inside the house, but everything felt right.
John leaned in to kiss Anna but suddenly heard giggling coming from the hallway. He quickly put as much space between them as possible, but he feared it might be too late. One of the stable boys burst into the hall with Rose, a junior housemaid.
"Oye, where do you two think you are going?" Anna stood and confronted the young servants. Both instantly turned bright red and refused to speak. John was relieved that the young couple was overly concerned about being caught themselves that they did not even question the intimate situation they happened upon.
"Any reason you aren't up with everyone else?" Anna asked. Rose managed to shake her head slowly.
"Well, I won't tell Mrs. Hughes this time, I'm sure you both just got caught up in the festivities. But I hope I won't regret that decision." And with that the stable boy bid farewell and left rather quickly.
Rose lingered around for another moment. "Anna, I'm sorry. Thank you so much for keeping it secret."
Anna looked at Rose intently for a minute. "No need to keep it secret because there's nothing to be told. But Rose, I expected better from you. You need to make sure you are careful. Now, go back upstairs and enjoy the fun." John squirmed uncomfortably as Anna lectured Rose. Anna was expected to be an example for the younger staff, yet he was leading her down a path of ruin.
Rose smiled tentatively and headed back upstairs. As soon as Rose was out of sight, Anna spoke, "I feel like such a hypocrite. But at that age, they just need someone looking out for them. What they had planned is way different from what we are." Anna said the last part more for herself than for John.
"Yes, we are older and wiser. And way better at control and discretion." John laughed considering they were nearly caught.
"Mr. Bates, we are as foolish as them, aren't we? I thought we were supposed to be careful inside the house. We were nearly caught. And why is that funny?"
John hadn't even realized he was still laughing. "Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. When you were lecturing Rose, you sounded exactly like Mrs. Hughes. I could imagine you being housekeeper so vividly. That is, unless I continue on in this manner and we get caught. And thinking about you as a housekeeper, I would have to call Mrs. Smith, or even if you are promoted to a lady's maid, I must call you Smith. All I can think is I'll always prefer calling you Anna." John grabbed Anna's hand. "My dearest Anna." No matter what position Anna held, she will always have to call her Mr. Bates. He wanted to beg her to call him John, even just in private, but he knew he could make no such request.
Anna reached for Leaves of Grass with her free hand and squeezed John's with the other. "Mr. Bates, I am truly grateful for the book. I don't know how I'd ever repay you."
John lightly kissed Anna's hand. "I'm sure you'll find a way. But alas, I fear we have been gone for too long. We must be getting back or Mrs. Hughes may come looking for us."
Anna sighed. "You're right. I'll store this book upstairs and meet you back at the ball. Thank you again"
And with that, Anna scampered off upstairs. John smiled and he was so glad she liked Leaves of Grass. He could not wait until he would be able to recite the poetry to her. He threw the paper wrapping in the rubbish, hiding all evidence, and walked upstairs. As John ascended the staircase, he found himself looking forward to his next Christmas with Anna.