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I wish I could say that I wrapped my arms around Jake's neck and kissed him back, and that the whole thing was incredibly romantic. Sadly, that wasn't the case. Instead, I completely froze.
Oh my God. Jake is kissing me! What do I do? My parents are right here! Crap, he's going to think I'm an idiot! Jake pulled away and smiled at me. When he saw my wide, panicked eyes, his smile wavered.
"Aww, Ness. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry. Look, I'll just go, okay?"
When he said he was leaving, I jerked myself out of my trance. "No, stop!" I said, holding his hand tightly so he couldn't walk out the door. I didn't even notice that Alice had turned the music off, or that everyone in the room was watching our exchange.
Jake's face was beet red. "No, I'm really sorry. That was a really stupid thing to do. I just…I…." he stammered.
What could I say to make him feel better? This was unchartered ground for me. He tried to break himself from my grasp and bolt for the door again. "Stop!" I commanded as I jerked him around to face me. "I'm not sorry," I said. "I'm so happy right now; I still can't wrap my head around it. I mean, I've liked you forever, but I didn't think you liked me. And then you kissed me! Well, really I've only liked you…like that…for a couple of weeks. I mean, I've always been friends with you, but, well…" As I babbled on like an idiot, a smile slowly stretched across his face. "What?" I asked him. I'd gone and embarrassed myself again. Instead of answering, he pulled me into a crushing hug.
"Well, it's about Goddamn time!" barked Emmett, laughing. Crap. I had completely forgotten that we had an audience. Well this is embarrassing. I tried to step away from Jake, but he just grabbed my hand and moved to my side.
I looked down at his hand wrapped around mine. I had no idea what to do now. I mean, we kissed. Well, he kissed me while I stood there in shock. I convinced him that it was okay, and now we were awkwardly standing here…side by side…holding hands. Even if I wasn't projecting my thoughts to Jake, he seemed to know what I was thinking. He squeezed my hand reassuringly.
Not knowing what else to do, I looked at my parents. They were still standing in the corner where they had been dancing. My dad's arms were still wrapped around my mom, but he looked a little sick. It looked like he was trying to avoid my gaze. My mom, however, met my gaze, eyebrows raised. She had her lips pursed, but instead of looking mad, like I had expected, she looked like she was trying not to laugh.
"So…" I said, hoping that someone else would say something.
Jake just looked at me and grinned. "So…" he countered. Everyone else just looked at us, grinning.
"Well," said Emmett, finally breaking the awkward silence, "this has been fun, but I think my beautiful, sexy wife and I are going to turn in." He leered at Rose, and she giggled as she pulled him towards the stairs. He paused at the bottom of the stairwell and turned around. "Oh, and Jake, congrats. At least this time, you didn't get punched in the face."
My entire family burst out laughing as Emmett and Rose dashed up the stairs. I looked at Jake quizzically. "Who punched you in the face?" I asked. My question just made everyone laugh harder. I looked away from Jake in time to see my mom bury her face in my dad's shoulder, and he kissed the top of her head, suppressing a grin. Some things I was better off not knowing about.
The awkward silence ended as everyone else decided to leave as well. I thanked them all for coming as they filed out, and they wished me happy birthday and shared knowing looks with Jake.
Finally, only my vampire family, Jake, and I were left. The house seemed oddly quiet with only Jake and my hearts beating. Jake looked at me like he was dying to say something, but I wasn't really sure if I wanted to hear what he had to say. Avoiding his gaze, I walked to the backyard to gather my gifts. I sighed when I heard him following behind me. He usually wasn't this clingy. Or maybe he was, and now I was just hyper-aware of his presence.
Jake and I wordlessly began gathering up my gifts. When he wasn't looking at me, I snuck glances at him. He looked so happy. I don't think I have ever seen him grin so big. It was more than that though; his body radiated happiness. I felt guilty for not sharing in his joy. I mean, don't get me wrong; having Jake kiss me was possibly one of the greatest moments in my life thus far. But on top of that, I was completely freaked out and a nervous wreck. I didn't know how to be more than just friends with Jake. I had no idea how relationships worked. What was I supposed to do?
Just as we were piling the last of my gifts into our arms, my parents appeared with my mom's gifts. "It's getting late," said my dad. "Why don't we take these back to the cottage?"
"Yeah, okay," Jake and I said at the same time, and I giggled somewhat hysterically.
We all said goodbye to the rest of my family and walked back to the cottage. I didn't look at Jake as he bounced along beside me. There was a tension between us; I could feel it. It wasn't harsh or negative; it was more like a current. There was an…electricity… between us. I could almost hear it buzzing.
My parents walked ahead of us, and my dad kept turning around to look at Jake and me. Every time he turned, my mom jerked on his hand with a nearly audible "leave them be!" hissed in his ear.
The four of walked into the cottage, set the gifts down, and stood there, awkwardly. Jake and I turned to each other to say something at the same time. "You first," he said with a grin.
"Well," I said with a gulp. It was hard to form a coherent sentence when he was staring into my eyes. "I was just going to say that I was going to change into something more comfortable."
"Oh. Yeah. I'll just wait here." He took a seat on the couch while my dad shot him a glare.
I walked inside my room and shut the door quietly behind me. I leaned against the wall and tried to keep my breathing even. Good Lord, that boy makes me nervous. Every time he looked my way, my heart took off. The memory of our kiss made my breathing speed up, and I had to start the calming down process all over again.
As I stood there, I heard my parents talking to Jake. "When are you going to tell her?" my mom asked softly.
"I don't know," said Jake. "I don't want to rush into anything."
"That's a good idea. I think this relationship between the two of you should progress as slow as possible," said my dad. So that's the way it's going to be, I thought to myself. What are they talking about out there anyway?
"You'll have to tell her eventually," said my mom. My dad must have shot her one of his signature glares. "Well, it's true. We can't keep her in the dark forever."
My desire to keep listening warred with my irritation at them keeping secrets from me, and the irritation won. I threw my dress on the bed and put on a t-shirt and some shorts. Before I could say anything, my dad turned to me.
"It's late," he said. "I think it's time you went to bed Nessie." I deserve to know! I shouted at him in my thoughts. "Jake," he motioned at me.
"Oh." Jake got up and wiped his palms on his jeans nervously. "Umm, walk me out?" he asked, reaching for my hand.
"Sure," I said, my heart racing when our hands met. We walked out to the path that would lead him back to his car.
We stopped where the path turned into the woods. We turned towards each other, and before he could say anything, I asked, "what are you keeping from me?"
He bit his lip. "I'm sorry. I can't tell you yet." I ground my teeth together, irritated. I was tired of all the secrecy. He reached up and ran his thumb lightly over my cheekbone. "I really am sorry," he said again. "I promise I'll tell you someday. Someday soon," he added as he stared into my eyes.
I sighed. It was impossible to stay mad at him when he looked at me like that. "I guess I can wait a little longer."
"Good. I should go before your dad comes out and skins me alive. Happy Birthday." My heart sped up as he leaned towards me, but he just kissed me lightly on the cheek. He laughed softly at my dejected face. "One step at a time," he whispered as he walked into the darkness.
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