Hi guys! How's it going? I posted this the night before I lift for my trip to Chicago where I have no access to a computer. Sorry for the little mistakes I might've made while correcting it. I just wanted you to read this before I leave so here it is.

Chapter

5

My stinging fingers were numb from the weather and my body felt heavy with fatigue. Whatever was underneath me was hard and cold against my skin. My head was spinning and my eyes burning.

In my limited window of vision I saw a collage of red, brown, and silver. I tried to reach for it, but it seemed too far away. There was someone calling my name but I couldn't speak. In defeat, I closed my eyes and let unconsciousness takeover. The last thing I remember is being lifted off the ground and carried through the air.

I woke up in a start, unaware to where I was. A fire roared and for a second I thought I had died and went to hell. Then I soon realized that I was on the living couch.

I tried to sit up but was stopped by a surge of pain in my head. There was a glass of water nearby and when I tried to reach for it an agonizing cough tore through my lips.

Just then; Zero came rushing in frantically calling my name.

My body stiffened as he came around the couch to get a better glimpse at me. He had a worried expression on his face.

I looked at him with a somewhat innocent expression and he sighed in relief. "I thought you were hurt or something."

I opened my mouth but no words came out and I pointed to the glass of water. He handed it to me and I drank every single drop. That's when I noticed my fingers were bandaged.

"What happened to my hands?" I asked with a raspy voice. "Why am I on the couch?"

"You collapsed outside by the school last night."

"I was sleepwalking." It was more like a statement than a question.

He nodded. "And you beat the hell out of that garden. You were a mess when I found you."

"I feel like I mess," I added letting out a chain of hacking coughs.

When I finally stopped, it sat back on the pillow and let out a tiresome sigh.

Zero left the room and came back with two pills and another glass of water. "Take these. It'll make you feel better."

I swallow them quickly.

"Are you hungry?" Zero asks. "I made some soup."

I nodded. I was always hungry for his cooking.

He disappears again and returns with a bowl of vegetable soup. I didn't know I was that starved until I started eating. It was delicious just like everything else he makes. When I was done he took my dish away and turned on the TV above the fireplace. I watched that until I fell asleep.

And that's mostly what I did for the next couple of days: sleep. Of course Headmaster came back on Monday and I had to explain what happened. He didn't seem surprised though. I guess he expected the worse in case my condition didn't improve. Both Head and Zero were keeping close watch on me and they didn't see me walking. I didn't have any weird dreams either. I was probably too tired to do any form of moving whether I was asleep or awake.

By Thursday I was well enough to go back to school. Of course I had a lot of homework to do which Zero had to tutor me on some of it; Mostly Math and English. On Friday Headmaster had to leave again. He said the same things he said last week about the Vampire Council having 'problems' and having us to 'be careful' and guard the house.

Although he wasn't telling us much I had a feeling that it was something way more serious. Why else would he have to leave two weeks in a role? Is it something so dangerous that Headmaster can't tell us? This was just another problem to add to the pile.

It was just after sun down when Zero finished tutoring me.

"Are you hungry?" he asked stacking the papers into a neat pile.

"Yes," I replied. "I'm starving."

Zero doesn't usually ask me if I'm hungry but since I'm still kind of sick he's been extra caring. Tutoring me willingly, feeding me willingly, and being nicer to me than usual.

He picked up the phone and ordered Chinese take-out then headed toward the stairs. I grabbed his arm, stopping him from proceeding.

"Let's watch a movie," I suggested walking over to the couch. To my surprise he actually follows me and sits down.

"What movie?"

I searched through the media cabinet for something that he'll tolerate. I already know he hates chick clicks and comedies. Action movies were off the table too since they involve some form of romance and laughing. Then all the way in the back I saw a DVD with a rather disturbing cover. Horror; I hate it but it'll be perfect for him.

"What about this one?" I ask holding it out to him. He took it from me and looks as if he wants to smile. "Are you sure you'll be able to handle this? It looks too scary for you."

"Too scary?" I say nonchalantly. "I watch this kinda stuff with Yori all the time."

I was obviously lying. Like I said before, I hate horror. But I will suck it up for the sake of Zero and not spending another Friday night alone in my room.

He shrugs then puts the video in the player. My heart skipped beats and my palms were sweating as I waited for the movie to start. Just to make me even more anxious Zero cut out all the lights. I couldn't help notice that when Zero sat back down he tried to sit as far as he could away, which wasn't that far since the blanket we were sharing was quite small.

The movie started off slow like most movies do and included the signature scary-pop-ups-and-suspenseful-music scenes. But as the movie progressed, it got more heart wrenching.

Ding. The door bell rings and I screeched lightly.

"Relax," Zero said. "It's just the door."

We eat out food straight out the containers and kept watching. I jumped a few times occasionally flinging rice on the floor. By the middle of the movie it had my head tucked mostly under the blank.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I'm not sure if he was trying to be funny or considerate.

"I-I'm fine," I say letting the cover slowly leave my face. I was fine until something jumped out at the screen and I hid my head in Zero's shoulder.

"I thought you say you were fine?"

Now he was being funny.

"I am," I mumbled to his arm.

I thought he would push me off or tease me some more but he didn't so every time I got scared I hid my face on his shoulder. He didn't seem bothered by it either and when I noticed, I kept my head there longer and longer each time.

At the very end is when it got truly horrifying. It made me let out a half screaming half gasping sound and it even made Zero jerk backwards. This was probably too much on my raw throat and a hacking cough erupted from my burning chest.

All of a sudden Zero's body froze.

"Why did he freeze like that?" I think. "Does he think I have some contagious disease or something?"

I scooted over and put a great deal of space between us. "I'm sorry," I say. "I think I'm still a little sick."

After a couple minutes of silence, prepare to get up but his hand on my shoulder stops me from moving another muscle.

"It's my fault," he whispers. His frowning features glowed in the light of the TV screen.

"What are you talking a_"

"It's my fault that you're sick. If I would've just told you the truth this wouldn't have happened…"

"That's not true."

"You were sleepwalking because of me."

I shook my head. "I am the only person responsible for my sleepwalking. You had nothing to do with it."

"I promised," he mumbled to himself. "I promised that I would be there for you…and I wasn't."

So is this why he has been acting so 'off' this week. He feels bad because he thinks he did this to me. He thinks the coughs and the sneezes and the bandaged fingers were his fault.

I moved closer to him and put my hand on his. "I know you have a lot going on that you don't want to talk about and_"

"The therapist you went to go see was my hunting teacher," he blurts out. I would've told you sooner but I didn't know how."

I understood were he was coming from. It's hard telling people you love the truth.

When I looked up and saw his regretful face I couldn't help but hug him. "It's okay, Zero," I whisper.

He tightened his arms around my back and looks down at me; his lavender eyes staring into my brown ones.

He moves his head closer to me then kisses me. My mind raced. "What should I do?" I think. "Should I push him away or kiss back?" Before I had a change to decide, his lips were gone.

"I'm sorry," he said letting me go and looking away from me. "I don't know what I was thinking."

"You don't have to apologize," I assure him but he doesn't seem to be listening. He stands up and begins to walk away. I go after him. Without thinking I kiss him, my lips pressing against his gently. It grew more passionate quickly. Our tongues entangled and our mouth explored. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He straddled my waist. We broke apart for air still holding each other.

"I don't know what to do?" I said nuzzling my face in his chest.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

I shook my head. This wasn't about us kissing. This is about something different; something more complex.

"Dr. Yagari told me to get rid of anything that reminds me of Kaname. He told me to burn them and move on."

He didn't say anything and I could tell he was uncomfortable.

Finally he speaks in a forced voice. "I'd tell you that same thing. Not because I hate him but because I want you to be happy."

I was a little disappointed at his reaction. I thought he was going to tell me to forget about Kaname and get on with my life. If anything, it made me even more confused. Am I really over Kaname? Is there something more than just friendship between me and Zero?

I sigh.

Why is this so difficult? I only have two choices. Hold on or move on. If I keep doing everything half-ass I'll keeping sleepwalking.

"Tomorrow I will get my medicine filling and burn the roses. I have to move on. I need to move on."

It felt refreshing to finally wake up normally. I knew exactly where I was and I knew exactly what I had done last night. I didn't have any strange dreams nor did I discover a rose on my night stand.

"Good morning," Zero lightly whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Good Morning."

He kisses me on the head and then sits up. "We need to get a movie on it."

I sighed.

I didn't want to. I want to stay in my bed and cuddle with Zero like we did last night. He stands up and pulls me into his arms. "You need your meds so you can sleep better."

"I sleep fine as long as you're next to me," I wanted to say to him.

We get dressed and took the subway to the nearest pharmacy. While the prescription is being filled we stop at a diner for breakfast. The food was good, but not as good as Zero's. When we were finished we picked up the medicine. They were small, white, and looked easy to swallow.

"Take 1 every night or as needed," I read. "Seems easy enough."

I have nothing to say here to transition between scenes so instead of rambling on about nothing I'll skip right to the point.

*Evening the same day*

I couldn't procrastinate any long. I had been sitting here for over an hour with the roses I had collected from underneath my beds. The room was dark lit only by a few candles and the blaze from the fireplace. I needed to do it if I wanted to get better.

I kneel in front of the couch and take one flower from the pile. Even though I picked it days or possibly weeks ago the petals on it were still luminous and glowing, which made it harder to get rid of them. These roses were special, touched only by vampires. They were mystical and majestic; a one of a kind species.

I twirled my fingers on the stem deciding what I should do.

"Hey," I heard someone say from behind. It could only be Zero. "Do you want some tea?"

I take one of the cups from his hand and sip it. The warm sensation on my throat seemed to relax me.

"Thanks," I say.

I sat the cup down and stared at the orange-red flames.

"Just throw one in," Zero suggested. "And see how you feel."

That idea crossed my mind a hundred times yet when he said it made much more sense. His words were forced, as if trying hard to be helpful, but still sensible.

I looked at the rose one last time before tossing it onto the fireplace. I thought I would have the strong urgency to retrieve it but I didn't. It actually felt good, like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I added another and another, throwing them in two at a time then three and four until every single one was gone. The mystical and majestic roses were now reduced to ashes.

Once the fire had settled and the tea was gone the room was silent.

"What should I do?" I thought. "What should I say?"

Suddenly, my heart speaks for me. "I'm free." I jumped into Zero's arms. "I'm free." His body is paralyzed with surprise, but I ignore it. "I'm free."

Two months of suffering, sleep deprivation, depression, and all I had to go was this. It was kind of ironic in a way. Tears were falling but not from sadness but from joy. I can breathe now. I can live now. I'm finally free.

Zero pulls me off of him and frowns at the fireplace.

"What's wrong?"

He doesn't respond.

"Zero…"

"What am I to you?" he blurts out in a cold voice.

I was awed by the question but I knew it was coming sooner a later. I bet he thinks I used him as an escape goat or a rebound.

"What am I to you?" he repeats, this time more abruptly.

I have to answer but I can't. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to explain my feeling towards him.

He begins to walk away but I grab his hand. He jerks away.

"What am I to you?" he says again in a loud whisper. "A distraction? A toy? Something to play with until you forgot about that no good bastard?" He pauses. "I thought we felt the same way about each other, but you…you just used me to help you with your little problems. Do you even care about me? Did you kiss me back just to see if I was better at it than Kaname? "

I was frozen for a long while. Not of regret or self-pity but in raging anger.

"You don't know anything," I mumble clinching my fists.

"What was that?" he retorts.

"I said you don't know anything!" I practically screamed it.

Zero turned his head slightly so he could look at me out of his peripheral vision.

I looked him right in the face and kept screaming.

"For a whole month, before the sleepwalking even started, I was struggling with this. How could you say that you're just a toy to me? If I wanted a distraction I would've gone to Saiyori or Headmaster. I didn't plan to come in your room that night. I didn't even know what I was doing until you bite me. I hated sleepwalking and mourning over Kaname. I was confused and lonely and you just happened to be the one I went to. But I wouldn't have kissed you back if I didn't feel something for you."

He turned his head as if he didn't believe me. "And what do you feel for me, uh?" "Pity, regret…The only reason I helped you is because I thought you would forget about that bastard and love me but I guess things don't work out the way you want them to."

"And what if I do…love you Zero?" My voice got small and light all of a sudden.

There was stillness in the room as if my words made the world stop. In one swift move he takes my head and kisses me. It wasn't gentle and innocent like yesterday, instead it was hot and feverish, the kind of kiss that wakes up your senses and makes your knees weak. The kind of kiss that make you want more and more.

His lips slip down to my neck and starts kissing my throat. He holds my head tighter to his. I feel fangs eject and scrap against my skin.

"Yuuki," he groans.

I know what he wants and I give him a nod of approval.

"Do it Zero…Bite into me."

He groans again. "I love you, Yuuki. I love you so much."

Before I could say anything back his razor sharp teeth bit deep into me. I couldn't speak or move. All I could do is stand there and moan occasionally. I was physically and mentally paralyzed. The only thing that was comprehendible was the sound of him swallowing my blood and the pulling sensation on my neck. Zero bit down harder which caused me to arch my back in pain. This made him loose his footing and go toppling down on the couch. After a few more minutes his drinking slowed to a stop. He pulls his fangs out of my neck. I whip the blood off his face and smiled.

"I love you too." I bring my lips to his in another fiery kiss. Zero flips me over and kisses me deeper, sticking his tongue deep into my mouth. When I moan at the feeling, he slips down to my neck again.

"I want you," he breaths against my bare skin.

I've never heard his say those words before. What does he want me to do? Kiss him better? Give him more blood?

A hand goes under my pajama top and I immediately know what he wants. I let him undo a few buttons then he looked at me.

"Yuuki," he calls out, hesitation heavy in his voice. He probably thought I had fallen asleep or completely lost my mind. I cupped his face in my hands and smiled.

It didn't matter that I was sixteen or that Zero was a vampire. We both love and care for each other and that's all that matter.

O.o

Don't worry it's not a lemon. I stopped there because it's rated T and not M so don't panic.

But you have to admit that scene was a little romantic.

Anyway I'll think of some ideas while I'm away and then write when I get back in 4 days.