There was this still moment, it's hard to describe. There was this moment where it felt like time stopped, the time between the blinks of Sheldon's eyes was hours, days, years. Leonard was outside of Sheldon's door, and I froze in the still moment, knowing there wasn't enough time to hide or change anything or go back in time and undo it.
The door opened and Leonard stood there in the doorway and I could see him seeing it all. He saw my panties in a crumpled little mess by the side of the bed, he saw Sheldon naked from the waist down, he saw the look in my eyes. He was putting it all together. His eyes crinkled up behind his glasses, just as I predicted, but then they filled with tears.
"Sheldon?" Leonard said, and I saw that I was being ignored for now, or disregarded. This would be between them. Sheldon found his underwear and pulled them on. He stood up, towering over Leonard.
"Sheldon, you fucked Penny?" I sucked in my breath at that harsh phrasing. That wasn't it, that wasn't it at all, it was tender and sweet and magical. I shook my head, wondering what I had seen in Leonard, although I knew he was angry and hurt and that was why he said it that way, to hurt me. Maybe to hurt Sheldon, but he must know that words can't hurt him like that. Sheldon couldn't interpret his tone, his scraped raw tone of anger and bewilderment.
"Yes," Sheldon said, and he sounded calm. Was he unaware that this situation would make Leonard angry? He must be aware of at least that. I watched them with wide eyes, so hurt for Leonard and scared for Sheldon. I didn't know what I was for myself.
"How...how could you do that?" Leonard said, standing his ground, staring up at Sheldon.
Sheldon took a moment to formulate his answer while pulling a pair of pants from his dresser draw. He pulled them on, his everyday beige pants, contrasting with his dress shirt and black jacket.
"Well, I suppose that the amount of alcohol I ingested lowered my inhibitions to the point where I was not self conscious about acting on my desire for Penny," He was so calm, and Leonard was falling apart even as he struggled to hold his ground. Tears were slipping down beneath the thick black frames of his glasses.
"What? You, you're attracted to Penny?"
"Yes, she is sexually attractive, and she's nice to me, and we were only friends due to certain circumstances, but the opportunity arose tonight-"
"No," Leonard said, taking a step toward Sheldon, "no, you don't, Sheldon, you don't do that...God, you don't sleep with your best friend's girlfriend. How is it that you don't know that?" Leonard's voice was shaking, and I wished this wasn't happening. But I thought again about how I didn't initiate it with Sheldon and I wouldn't have. It wouldn't have occurred to me, despite thinking that he is attractive. A lot of people were attractive. But I did nothing to stop it.
"Well, I suppose I was hoping you wouldn't find out," Sheldon said, still calm. It was that calmness that seemed to be getting to Leonard. His face was red and working, and his hands were clenching and unclenching into tight fists.
"You hoped I wouldn't find out," Leonard repeated, and I looked from one to the other. Leonard's face was twisted, distorted, red with anger. Sheldon was drunk, but calm, his pale skin flawless.
Leonard shoved Sheldon, a sudden violent shove, knocking him off balance and to the floor. Before Sheldon could stand up Leonard went over to him and started punching him, and I saw Sheldon put his arms up to block his face. I watched, resisting the urge to start screaming.
Sheldon had curled up into a fetal position, curled protectively to ward off Leonard's blows. I could intervene, grab Leonard's arm and hope he didn't turn his punches on me.
"Leonard!" I hissed, and he looked at me for the first time since he entered the room. The sound of his name seemed to bring him to his senses and he saw Sheldon curled up on the floor. He gave me this look, this hurt, angry, confused look. I don't think anyone had ever looked at me like that before.
He left. He left me in the wake of that look, slamming the door behind him, and I heard him stomp across the apartment floor and leave, slamming the door to the hall. I took a deep breath and prepared to deal with Sheldon.
I got off the bed and onto the floor where Sheldon still lay curled up, and I wondered how hurt he was. I touched his back and felt him tense up under my touch.
"Sheldon, he's gone,"
He turned over and I saw the beginnings of a pretty bad black eye, and his lip was starting to puff up under the thin layer of blood.
"Are you okay?" I said. He touched his index finger to his bloody lip and winced. But he nodded at me.
"Penny, I've been beaten up many times in school. I'm fine,"
Still, I helped him to the bed, and he wasn't as fine as he was saying. Leonard could have fractured or broken one or several of his ribs.
"Leonard..." I said, not sure what to say about it. Leonard. Where did we go from here? What did we do now?