project: Fifty Days
disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
dedication: many thanks to dumdeedum & simsen, both of whom made me smile. also, thanks to gred and forge, purely for having an epic name. ;)
chapter: 15/5o
summary: "In fifty days, Uchiha Sasuke will be executed." For fifty days, she will visit him. For fifty days, he will fall steadily in love.
notes1:
okay, so i lied — chapter fourteen wasn't the last chapter of 2010; i aim on writing as much as i can before 2011. so here's another chapter, guys, as a little christmas present from me to you. hope you all have a fantastic day. :D
MERRY (EARLY) CHRISTMAS!
(oh, and there's totally a poll up on my profile, now. please vote for your favourite idea! :D & about this chapter - what can i say? i love angsty foreshadowing.)
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Hinata didn't realise her cousin was gone until late morning, when she found that she'd slept in, and that the house was practically empty. Her father was in his study, as he usually was when he wasn't on a mission, and her sister had left for training. She frowned, rubbing her eyes as she entered the kitchen, at first unsure of where he could be — but she knew either Lee or Tenten would know, or be with him, and so she chose to forget about it, eating her breakfast in silence.
She left the house not long after, pulling on her fluffy hooded jacket and heading out towards the market — most of the vegetables she'd bought a few days ago had been used up when making dinner, and so it was around about time she stocked up. She spotted Ino and Sakura as she walked along, chattering together — Ino waved a hand when Hinata passed, her movements exaggerated and large. She'd smiled bashfully back, and Sakura had inclined her head, a small smile passing across her features — neither she or Hinata had forgotten the last words they'd exchanged.
It was around about that time when Hinata realised she didn't often talk to the other kunoichi.
Sure, sometimes she spent time talking to Tenten, but that was only when the other girl came over to see Neji — she'd have to keep the other girl talking until Neji arrived, and then Tenten would leave her without a second thought. She only ever spoke to Ino if she was at the other girl's flower shop, or spotted her on the street, and then it would be a brief conversation, over in a flash — and she used to rarely speak to Sakura at all, partly out of jealousy, and partly because she could never think of the right words to say.
It didn't bother her, not really; after all, everyone had friends they were close to — and she was close to Kiba and Shino, and sometimes, occasionally Neji; she was fine with those bonds, and spent time strengthening them. Perhaps because of the fact that she had once been so shy, she couldn't ever quite bring herself to talk to anyone else, unless it was something she absolutely had to do, like for a mission.
It wasn't because she was rude; it was because, when she tried, she would find that she'd clam up almost immediately. Kiba was the one who did all of the talking — when Hinata tried, her sentences came out jumbled, and her thoughts were rushed, and her stutter would reappear tenfold. She didn't do it as much now; now, she was relatively brave, relatively strong, and she could talk to others if she had to — if she wanted to.
But still — there were certain people she was certain she'd never be able to talk to.
Shikamaru was one of those people. He was a nice guy, she was sure of that; after all, she'd had to spend time listening to Ino rant and rage about him, and those rants had always tuned down into a little sighs and so on. He had his faults, she knew that — he was incredibly lazy but, then again, he was a genius. And that was one of the things that scared her; not his techniques, because, while they were strong and terrifying in their own right, she could look past his ability. It was his brain that scared her.
Because he always knew.
She remembered, back in the Academy, that Shino and Shikamaru had been playing a game of shogi; and, back then, Shino had been the cleverest person she knew. He was a strategist — back then, and now — and that was his speciality; he could guess ahead; he could understand the enemy enough to form a plan. For a while, as she'd watched — and as Kiba had slept, after growing easily bored —, she'd been certain he was going to win; although they'd played slowly, carefully, as far as she could see, Shino had definitely had the upper-hand. It was an impressive game to watch, but she knew Shino was going to win.
It was a surprise when he didn't.
Near the end of the game, Shikamaru took the lead, forcing Shino's moves to turn defensive and, in turn, useless, and eventually beating him completely. It turned out Shikamaru had planned the entire game in his head, adjusting and changing his moves — and the outcome —, whenever Shino had made a move different to the one Shikamaru had thought he would make. He'd checked the other's body language — he'd used everything he knew about Shino to win, and back then, Hinata had found that terrifying.
She still found it relatively scary now; he could notice things, little details, which made the big picture. It could be the smallest thing — a missing kunai, a misplaced hair grip, or so on —, but he would notice it, and therefore make his judgements based on that little detail. Nine times out of ten, he was correct.
Still, she'd never really spoken to him on her own; usually, she would speak to people who were friends of her friends and, as a result, Kiba usually meant that she would end up talking to Naruto or Chouji. While Kiba had been friends with Shikamaru back in the Academy, Hinata had been too shy to talk to him then — and she was still too shy. No, she hadn't really ever sat down and spoken to Shikamaru on his own, with no one else around — which was why she was pretty surprised when, as she was out shopping, he tapped her shoulder and offered to buy her ramen. She'd raised her eyebrows, biting back the question that threatened to escape her lips, and had nodded hesitantly — after which, Shikamaru had bought the vegetables she was holding for her, and then lead her away, walking slightly slouched over to the ramen stand.
She placed her bags down on the ground beside her, hopping up onto one of the stools, watching as Shikamaru ordered two bowls of ramen — she took a moment to study his features, searching for something that might perhaps clue her in as to why they were eating together. It wasn't as though she was unhappy about it — she was glad she was talking to someone new —, but it was just… strange.
Odd.
He ducked his head in her direction. "Penny for your thoughts?"
Hinata bit her lip, before asking, "Why are we here?"
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow, rubbing his forehead blearily, smiling ever so slightly at her. "You said you wanted to come here…"
"No, I m—meant…" She trailed off, unsure of how else to put it, without hurting his feelings; but he was a bright guy, and he nodded, waving a hand at her.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," he replied, smiling ever so slightly, before nodding in thanks as the two bowls of ramen were placed down in front of them. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Hinata blinked, eyes widening ever so slightly, but she didn't say anything, merely nodding for him to continue. He turned away then, snapping his chopsticks apart and idly chasing noodles around the bowl — he seemed to be considering something, thinking for a little while before facing her once again.
"You're hiding something," Shikamaru spoke, finally, and Hinata's eyes widened — she sucked in a breath, tensing despite herself; despite the fact that Kurenai had always told her that she could give away so many secrets by the simplest of movements. He was eyeing her carefully.
Reading her body language.
She forced herself to relax, smiling uneasily. "…e—everyone has secrets."
"You're not very good at hiding yours," he replied, shrugging a shoulder. "When you get nervous, your stutter gets worse and your entire body goes rigid. You duck your head slightly, as well, which would signal you're doing something you shouldn't be doing…"
He trailed off, before reconsidering.
"No, I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing. I shouldn't be questioning you, right? Which would make me believe that whatever you're doing is something the Hokage has asked you to keep a secret," Shikamaru finished, nodding once. "I don't need to know, anymore."
"…You… You don't need to know anymore?" Hinata repeated, her voice uncertain — she couldn't quite understand. Shikamaru had gotten so close; if he'd jabbed anymore, she would have spilled all, because she was like that — and because she knew Shikamaru wasn't an enemy. Her eyes widened again and she felt her body tense, but she managed to relax quicker than before, keeping his words in mind.
"No," he nodded again, finally picking a noodle up with his chopsticks and placing it in his mouth. "It's troublesome, but I had to make sure you weren't doing something bad. I've drawn my conclusions as to what you actually are doing — which, I assume, is visiting Uchiha Sasuke —, but, from your reactions, I assume the Hokage already knows something about it — therefore, it isn't my problem."
For a few seconds, Hinata wasn't sure how to respond.
For one, Shikamaru knew. She didn't know how he knew, or for how long he'd known, but he knew, and that was all that mattered. From there on in, she wasn't sure how to react — she didn't know Shikamaru well enough to judge whether he'd be able to keep it a secret; and the fact that he'd so calmly tricked her into giving away information… She had been right. He was scarily clever — so much so, that she was now left feeling rather confused.
Eventually, after much consideration, she opened her mouth to respond. "This… well… you're r—right, obviously — but you know that, so… The thing is, this is supposed to be a s—secret; and Naruto cannot know, the Hokage was certain about that — if he does find out, I c—can't visit Sasuke anymore, and that would… that might break him. So, please…"
She bit her lip, meeting his gaze; but she couldn't stop herself from smiling ever so slightly, because it felt good that someone else knew. She'd had this weight upon her shoulders for just past a week, and she was glad to be able to share it with someone else. She noticed, absently, that Shikamaru's eyes were oak brown and tired; but they were trustworthy. They shone in the same way Naruto's did.
"Can you keep this to yourself?"
He shrugged a shoulder, before nodding, returning her smile slightly, before spinning back to face his noodles.
"It's troublesome, but I will."
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Sasuke stared blankly at the wall ahead of him, as he waited for the day to trickle by — waiting for the choice moments that signalled the general time. At around midday — lunchtime, he thought —, both ANBU members would leave the room, one by one, for exactly five minutes; and, during those five minutes, Ibiki would arrive, sitting in the chair in front of him, for his ten minutes of generally mocking Sasuke and so on.
He watched, absently, as the first ANBU disappeared, slipping out of the room like a ghost; and he half-expected Ibiki to enter immediately. He raised an eyebrow in surprise, however, when the Hokage stepped inside, amber eyes narrowed as she gazed at him — he only just managed to stop himself from smirking, watching as the remaining ANBU saluted before falling still. Tsunade clasped her hands behind her back, sitting down slowly in front of Sasuke, scrutinizing his features in a way which was obviously made to make him feel uncomfortable.
It didn't particularly work, though, and Tsunade was obviously pressed for time; she crossed one leg over the other and leaned forwards. "Listen, Uchiha — I have something I need to ask," she said finally, her voice breaking the silence.
He tilted his head, still smirking, unable to stop himself this time; it was all too funny. Judging from the disgruntled look on Tsunade's face, she was going to ask a question to which his answer would no doubt be negative.
In fact, he was looking forward to saying no.
"You're fifteen days into your sentence," she continued, ignoring the fact that his smirk only widened as she spoke. "In thirty-five days, you will be dead. However, I could re-think your sentence, Uchiha, if you offer me information. Would you be willing to make a deal?"
His smirk became cruel.
"No."
Tsunade's eyes widened and then narrowed; her fists clenched in her lap, and she stiffened, leaning forwards ever so slightly, her voice softening down into a hiss. "And why ever not?"
"Because," Sasuke answered, not even bothering to remove the hatred from his voice, "If you're asking me — not trying to force me, not begging, but just asking — then, obviously, you're scared. And so, as a result, you've tried to humanise me, because that would generally work on any common criminal — trying it on me, though… That's an insult."
She didn't even bother trying to reply. She just sat there, glowering, chakra surging towards her fist as she only just managed to control her temper — and it felt good. This level of control. With a few words, he could have her relaxed again; with a single, "Yes, I'll tell you everything!", she'd be smiling, and he'd have, what, sixty days, maybe seventy at a push.
It wasn't worth it.
It was much better — much more satisfying — to see her angry, and helplessly so; to know that she'd be constantly waiting on him to change his mind; because if she were so desperate as to ask him in the first place, then it had to be bad. And it was no doubt Akatsuki related. Absently, he wondered what had happened and if someone had died, and, if yes, how much paperwork that meant Tsunade had to fill out.
"I wouldn't tell you anything anyway, if it makes you feel any better."
Sasuke smiled bitterly.
"After all — I hate Konoha."
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"…I hate Konoha," Kiba announced, for the umpteenth time, as he watched Tenten and Neji set up camp — Neji rolled his eyes, but didn't respond, as he knew the other would continue anyway. "I mean, what is up with us? I didn't think we were that bad, as far as villages go — I mean, Sunagakure is pretty weird, and yeah; so why is it everyone hates us and not them?"
He paused in his pacing for a moment, turning to face the group leader, who was sat high above them, in the branches of a tree. In one hand was his signature orange book; in the other, he held a kunai, tracing little doodles on the bark of the branch he was sat upon. He raised an eyebrow as Kiba pointed at him, obviously addressing his next question to the silver-haired Jounin.
"It's probably a stupid question," the Inuzuka admitted, before plunging ahead nonetheless, "But doesn't it feel as though the Akatsuki are always targeting us — I mean, Konoha?"
This time, both of Kakashi's eyebrows shot upwards, and he shook his head, murmuring something about how he'd expect better from Naruto. He shut his book, slipping it back into his pocket before spinning around, leaning forwards so that he was gazing down at Kiba, his head tilted ever so slightly, his voice muffled from his mask.
"Do you ever shut up?"
"He'll wind down eventually," Tenten murmured, shifting the tent she was sharing with Neji so that it stood straighter. "Lee goes through this stage, near the beginning of a mission. He's just excited. He'll shut up at some point."
Neji snorted.
Kiba looked affronted. "I resent that—"
"And if he doesn't, I'll shut him up," she finished, as though he had never even begun to speak, reaching absently into her pocket and pulling out a kunai — she pressed the flat of the weapon against the palm of her hand, turning it over once, inspecting the sharpness of the edges. Satisfied, she span and flung it at Kiba — he ducked, although it was pointless; Tenten had never been aiming at him to begin with, and so the kunai thudded harmlessly into a tree trunk behind him.
"You ought to be careful with those things!" Kiba snapped, his voice raising a pitch, his hands still held over his head — this time, Tenten snorted, returning to sorting out the tent; Neji clapped his hands together, dusting them down on his legs, before turning to face Kiba. "I'm lucky you missed."
"She wasn't aiming at you."
Kiba opened his mouth to retort, but Kakashi clapped his hands together, dropping down from the branch he'd been perched in and landing, with his hands tucked in his pockets, between them. He sighed heavily, shaking his head, this time murmuring about how he thought he was finished with this stuff when Sasuke left his team, before his head snapped back up to face the others. "Let's have a sense of seriousness about us, alright? This is serious. You saw Tsunade back there — you saw her face; she was worried. And if the Hokage is worried, that's never a good sign."
"How bad do you think it is?" Tenten asked, without turning around, making sure the tent was as perfect as it could possibly be.
"The situation with the Akatsuki?" Kakashi murmured, and, after Tenten's nod, took a moment to consider, before continuing, "It depends. At best, this is just a little thing, made up of nothing but rumours; after all, most of the Akatsuki are dead — or, at least, their whereabouts are unknown. At best, Anko isn't missing — she's just taking her time. At best, we can take a quick look around and then head home, happy and safe and all that jazz."
There was a moment of tense silence and, for a second, Neji swore the forest around them was holding its breath. It was too silent. The branches of the trees were too still. Everything — everything — seemed to have stopped, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Distantly, he noticed Kiba shiver, obviously feeling the same; and he heard, rather than saw, Akamaru whimper, from his position near the edge of the camp.
Kakashi smiled.
"At worst, we end up dead and the Akatsuki destroy Konoha."
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Hinata pushed her hands into her pockets, bidding Shikamaru farewell and thanking him for the ramen; she turned away, then, heading back towards the market with her shopping. She wasn't certain of what to do, actually — she didn't want to see Naruto, surprisingly, and she'd already bumped into Sakura and Ino once. She would have gone to see Kiba, but she hadn't seen him around and, on his days off, he usually spent time talking to people — catching up, really. If she hadn't seen him, then it was likely he was training or with his family.
Really, she ought to go and see Shino.
With her shopping in hand, she made her way to her friend's house; it had been a while since she'd spoken to him, away from a mission — and, really, if there was anyone she wished she could share her secret with, it was him. While it was nice to shift the weight from her shoulders, she wasn't entirely sure as to whether she'd shifted it to the right person, and she frowned ever so slightly as she knocked upon his door. She was guided into the house and, after kicking off her shoes, sent up to his room by his father, who merely smiled at the fact she was there.
She waited a moment, adjusting her jacket, before raising her hand to knock upon the door — but before she could do so, the door had opened, and she found herself stood directly in front of Shino, blinking. He smiled at her, his eyes still shielded by those sunglasses — she couldn't remember a time when she'd seen them moved away —, before gesturing for her to follow him in.
She sat down on his bed, hands clasped in her lap, offering him a little smile, which he returned, leaning against his bedroom wall. For a moment, there was a comfortable silence, in which Hinata took her time staring around the other's room, before her eyes finally met his, and her smile grew ever so slightly awkward. His brow furrowed.
"…is something the matter?"
Ah, Shino — he knew her far too well.
Her smile grew wider. "…I guess not. I mean, no. There's nothing wrong."
He looked as though he wanted to continue the conversation, wanted to press for more information, but he merely nodded. "Have you received any word from Daisuke?" He asked, finally, unsure of where to take the conversation and instead settling for small talk — she didn't mind, of course.
It felt nice.
"Ah," she shook her head. "No. I think he's forgotten about me."
Shino nodded, and the conversation lapsed into silence once again. Hinata found herself pressing her fingers together, a sign of nervousness, and she found that her thoughts began to stray — to Sasuke, to Naruto, to anyone else. She shook her head slightly, before smiling at Shino. "I, uh… I noticed Kiba hasn't been around; it's his day off. I usually see him a c—couple of times, by now."
The other boy raised an eyebrow.
"He's on a mission."
"Really?" Hinata blinked, eyes widening ever so slightly, and Shino nodded his head.
"Yeah. He came to say goodbye yesterday — he said he'd drop by your place next. Didn't you see him?"
"No," she shook her head. "I was out."
"I think he wanted to say goodbye."
Those words chilled her to her bone. It was something that every shinobi did — it was habit. No matter what rank your mission was, there was always a chance you wouldn't make it home afterwards; and, as a result, shinobi were given time to say goodbye, before they went on their mission. She felt her heart squeeze. She hadn't had a chance to say goodbye to Kiba, to wish him luck — if anything happened…
If anything happened…
She bit her lip, as realisation dawned on her — and her thoughts turned to her cousin. "Did he… did he say who he was going with?"
Shino nodded. "Tenten, Kakashi and Neji. …you didn't know?"
She shook her head.
"I… I… I didn't even know…"
Hinata felt her heart ache.
"I never said goodbye."
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The moment the door opened, and Hinata stepped into the room, Sasuke knew something was wrong; even though she smiled at him, trying her hardest for her usual happiness, he could still see something was upsetting her. She kept biting her lip, gazing off to the left as though thinking of something else — or someone — and everything about her was troubled.
Ironic, really.
Sasuke had had a pretty good day, all things considered.
He raised his eyebrows, watching absently as she sat down, clasping her hands in her lap, her nails biting into her palms. She shifted in her seat, eyes flickering up to meet his — and almost immediately his thoughts were confirmed. She was worried, and very much so. Her eyes were distant. He frowned.
"…is something wrong?"
Almost instantly, she shook her head, either too choked up to answer, or simply choosing not to for fear of letting something slip — but her silence was just enough for him to grasp that yes, something was definitely wrong. He wondered, absently, if it were something affecting him; but, from what he'd judged about Hinata, if whatever was troubling her somehow affected him, she would have told him. She was that kind of person. No, whatever had her so worried was something personal.
He narrowed his eyes.
Upon taking another look, he realised she wasn't so much worried, per say — yes, there was something like worry glittering in her eyes, but there was also something else. Something extremely familiar. Something he'd seen glittering in his brother's eyes.
Guilt.
He let out a resigned sigh, closing his eyes. "You can tell me, whatever it is. I'd hardly have a chance to let your secret slip, after all."
She shook her head again. "It's… it's nothing i—important," she murmured, but her voice broke on the last word, and his eyes snapped open.
Hinata looked as if she were about to cry, and Sasuke wasn't entirely sure how to deal with that. It couldn't be anything extremely serious — no dead family members, no one gravely ill — because, if it was, she wouldn't have turned up; he was certain of that. No, actually, he wasn't certain of that, because she surprised him sometimes. There was every chance she might turn up, no matter the weather — and so he struggled for words. There had to be something he could say to make everything better; bitterly, he realised Naruto would be much better at this than he — yet another thing the idiot could beat him at.
And so, he did what he did best.
"Hinata."
She looked up then, eyes meeting his — and he was struck, briefly, by how blank her eyes suddenly seemed. Usually, they were bright — like stars, fireflies, whatever — but now… They were utterly blank. It was uncharacteristic of her. For a moment, it threw him off track.
"Tell me."
So she did.
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"I never said goodbye."
Hinata watched as Sasuke arched an eyebrow, obviously unsure of what she was talking about — but he wanted to know, and so she'd tell him. It really was sweet of him, in a way — but he was right. He was the one person she could talk to confidentially, as cruel and selfish as it might sound, without rumours beginning, or knowing that someone else might judge her. She liked that idea; in a way, he was her secret friend.
"…to who?" He asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.
"To Kiba," she replied, easily, before biting her lip. "…Or Neji. Before — way before —, it wouldn't have mattered, but we've… we've grown c—closer since, and I always say goodbye to him. To both of them."
The other frowned, tilting his head ever so slightly, but nodding for her to continue — because he sensed she needed to get it out of her system, whatever was troubling her. She smiled gratefully, before frowning ever so slightly, searching for her next words, how to tell her story; eventually, satisfied, she began to speak.
"When you left, Neji… he, for lack of better words, chased you — and, during that time, he was injured. So injured, in fact, that when they brought him back, he could barely open his eyes — he looked dead. I was scared. I was young and stupid and scared. It had never struck me that he could die and, seeing him then, I knew it could happen. Seeing him beaten up and broken and dying, I knew that he could… he c—could…"
She trailed off.
He waited patiently for her to continue.
"…We weren't even that close when it h—happened; it wasn't that long after the Chunnin exams, as I'm sure you know, and so we… we still weren't the best of f—friends. But it still… it still shook me up. And then you… you should have seen Kiba. He doesn't talk about it, not even to us — Shino and I — but, from what we could get from Kankuro, he almost died."
She smiled bitterly, sourly — and Sasuke felt that it didn't suit her; it was just wrong.
"The worst thing was, I never said goodbye to either of them, back then, and l—look what happened. I'm not… I'm not superstitious — I don't believe in l—luck; but… just look what happened…"
The corner of Sasuke's lips tugged downwards.
"I'm sorry."
Hinata's smile turned gentle, kinder, and she shrugged a shoulder. "It's a nice thing to say, but you aren't — and I d—don't really blame you for it. For what happened to them. I… I sort of u—used to, but I don't now."
She looked away.
"But I… I didn't get to say goodbye."
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The second part of her sentence was left hanging, unspoken, in the air. Because, after all, if she didn't get to say goodbye — and thinking of what had happened last time… No, while Hinata wasn't a superstitious girl, she realised that lightning could strike twice.
And, if it did…
It wasn't worth thinking about.
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Neji glanced upwards, back in the direction of Konoha, before his gaze turned to the skies. The clouds were grey — stormy and dark and writhing, he thought —, and threatened to spill rain upon the ground below. He glanced absently across at their tent, Tenten's silhouette shifting in the darkness as she attempted to get comfy in her sleeping bag. Up above him, Kakashi was still sat in his tree, gazing out into the forest, searching for any signs of movement, while Kiba lay asleep in their shared tent.
The older man waved jauntily down at him, slipping from the branch and landing beside the Hyuuga, pointing cheerily up at the sky. "Well, what do you know?
It's raining."
Sure enough, the first few droplets of rain began to splatter across the ground, one-two, one-two, picking up pace until it began to sound like the beating of a drum. Within seconds, Neji was soaked to the skin — but he still gazed upwards, white eyes turned to the heavens above. Kakashi placed a hand on his shoulder. There was a flash of light, jagged and piercing, in the sky above them — lightning — and Neji wondered, absently, if it were a sign.
He shook his head.
No.
He wasn't a superstitious man.
He wondered if he had reason to be.
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Up ahead, lightning struck and thunder crashed and the heavens wept for the people below — and Neji and Hinata and Sasuke all wondered if the sun would ever shine again.
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