Ste POV

"I won't give up on you."

I've caught his tears, held him to me as he broke. He's let me be his strength, let himself fracture in front of me, and I know, I really know now that he loves me.

Sat now on our kitchen floor, listening to his breathing steadying, I wonder how many few people he's been this person in front of. He cried like I'm the only one to have ever held him. I will fight with everything inside me to ensure he's never alone again.

"You can't forgive me Steven."

It's an instruction.

They're the first words he lets fill the gaps between us - he's still so far in the past.

Sometimes his world looks so dark his eyes are almost grey. I have seen him like this too many times and all I want to do is make him happy, purely happy, so his eyes shine as blue as they did in that hotel room - like sapphires.

"It's in the past."

"What I did to you-"

"Is in the past."

"I broke your fucking rib for crying out loud!"

Anger echoes through him as his bloody knuckles curl to fists once more. I try to reach for his hand, but he pulls away from me, his eyes so intense as he fights the veil of pretence that we've both created these last few days. It was a veil we needed, we had to be part of each other to know that this could work, to know this conversation would be worth it. We needed the true conviction that we have to fight for this.

"OK I don't, not properly, I probably won't in the way that I know there's a small part of Amy that doesn't forgive me. There were times when I truly hated you." He looks at me like that is the only way people should ever feel about him, like deep down he's nothing but evil – God how I hate that look.

"But mostly I don't even remember it, you're different now, you, and there is not one part of me that feels that same way now."

His eyebrow raises, his lips curling as a rushed exhale shows he doesn't quite believe me.

"How do you know you can trust me?" His words are full of self-hatred.

"Cos I know you, and if you keep up the counselling we can get through this."

I can't take the self-hatred that's formed in his heart in one day. In Dublin I began to believe I could be enough to make him like the man he is. Maybe at the very least I could still be enough to make him try.

I place my hand against his cheek and he lets me tilt his face to mine.

"I know you and I love you, right? I love the man you are now and the man you're trying to be. Nothing will change that. It's been like less than two days innit – but I've not felt like this before. I'm proper in love with you."

His eyes don't leave mine, his gaze holding a connection between our hearts.

"You were scared, when I got here, and then when I-" his eyes move to the wall like he's sorry for the pain he could have caused it, his knuckles flexing involuntarily by his side. "You were scared," he gulps like those words are made of his fear.

"For a moment, and not really, I know you wouldn't do that now."

His eyes cloud asking me silently for more.

"It's just cos how you were in the Dog, just memories that's all. Cos of what you were – and then with Frankie," finally the stupidity of my jealousy lies exposed.

"Oh God!" His eyes darken as he snatches my gaze, like he's only just thought of how I would have felt watching him like that.

"I get it," I try to assure him before the panic rises.

"I'm sor- Steven I'm so sorry," it's the most avid apology he's ever given and it's over something so small.

"Christ Brendan! Yeah and I really thought you wanted her and all," I tease to pull his smile. "Cos she can give you what I can."

There's a small puff of air from his lips, a mark of humour. And then his eyes flash like he's grateful, he will never feel worthy of the love I have for him.

"No-one," he says, placing his fingers against my cheek before he continues. "There is not one other person in this world who can give me what you give me."

"That cos you love me?" I sing, and this time I even get a tuneful laugh.

They are words that were doubted by each fragment of my broken heart two days ago. Now they're a conviction.

"That's because I love you." He says slowly so the words drift over my skin. "And I'm going to kiss you now, cos I love you," he says using those words that are indelibly, ineradicably bound around our hearts.

His lips are soft against mine, just once, like just one single embrace can provide a cure. I smile and he comes back for another kiss, once, twice, three times more. The sensuality causing my eyes to slip closed pulling a sigh from my lips. His forehead finds it's repose against mine. I gaze into his eyes, bluer but not quite sapphire - that's enough for now.

"I'll wait for you," I promise. "We don't have to do this, not yet. I'm at the end of a phone, or a text, or I'm just here, whenever, right? "

"I wanna tell him," he says with decree but even his words shake.

"I know, but you don't have to, I've waited two years Brendan, I can wait a little longer to be with you."

He rocks back against the oven as his eyes flash over my words, there's something there that made him sad.

"OK?" I say, caressing the lines in his forehead, smoothing out the worry.

His hand hovers over mine, pulls my fingers down to his kiss.

"And if I can't - wait? If I can't do that either." He says, his words are dark but there's joy in his eyes – he's telling me he loves me, telling me he doesn't want to let go of our forever.

"Then we'll run away together, I dunno – Vegas?!" I joke thinking only of how this all started with two nights of gambling.

"Vegas?!" He laughs. "Steven the people who run away to Las Vegas are eloping!"

Instinctively I bite at the inside of my lip, if my stupidity has pushed him too far again, but all he does is smile.

"We goin there then?" I joke, but his eyes dip in that serious way that pulls at my soul.

"One day, it'll be my honour."

He rests back against the oven, and my body copies his, my eyes investigate his face – did he really just propose? His eyes find mine and he laughs sweetly, looping an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him so I'm tilted into his embrace. His eyes drift close, as he breathes deeply. I turn to face his chest as my gaze trails over him, he looks like he'd be happy here for an eternity. He pushes his head down into the side of my neck and just stays, his breath warm against my skin, rebounding from my own. Our hearts calming to the same rhythm. He creates a world in which it's just us, his embrace ensuring it is only him I can see. I would be happy forever with just a few moments like this. We stop. Occasionally his nose runs against the underside of my jaw, or up past my ear and I get that feeling that he's using everything he has to sense me; sometimes his lips press against my pulse point, mostly though we just enjoy the consuming wrap of our presence alone.

It's his mobile that breaks the reverie as he receives a text, and he grumbles as I let him release me. But before I get too far his fingers trail up my neck into my hair and he just holds me, he doesn't kiss me, just keeps my face against his, and as I look into his eyes I sigh – they're sapphires once more.

He pulls away and reaches for his phone, and the darkness comes back.

"It's Cheryl, she wants me back for dinner." he says looking so vulnerable and hopeless.

I loop my fingers around his, smiling as he lets me. I bring his knuckles to my lips, soothing their broken skin with my mouth, trying to tell him that I'll catch him every time he stumbles, hold him every time he aches.

"I - I don't know if I'm strong enough for this."

"I know that we are," I tell him.