Another day in this carnival of souls...
Another night settles in, as quickly as it goes...
As the group awaits for the news on Dick's blood-transfusion, they all wondered the same question that has been going on through their heads... How did this happen, and when did it all started? Sadly, nobody knows the answer, and they were certain that the Great Detective himself wouldn't be able to find the answer himself. While their minds are set on the boy, Superman thought of something that finally caught his attention and mind.
"What happened?" He asked, staring at the other heroes and keeping a grip on Conner in his hold. The teens turned to each other, not sure on how to tell Superman what happened when they found the boy. Finally, Wally decided to speak first.
"Well... When we found him, he was on top of Wayne Tower, in the pouring rain... He was going to take the last pill to end his life, but we stepped in before he could get the pill into his mouth."
Flashback...
As lightning flashed its light in the pouring sky, Superboy was the first to find something from the cause of the lightning.
"I see him," he said. He then pointed a finger towards the building, where he could clearly make out a small-figure swaying over the left-side edge of Wayne Enterprises. And he knew, from recognizing the design of the clothing and the characteristics of the figure's face, despite there being no pair of shades he would see that would cover the Cerulean/Sapphire-eyes, it was Dick Grayson. Miss Martian made the Bio-Ship go towards the direction the Boy of Steel was pointing towards, and they were soon hovering above the child and the building he sways on.
"Something's wrong with him," the martian said. "I sense a bunch of negative emotions surrounding him: Anger, Pain, Fear, Depression, Unsure, Confusion, and a bunch more... But I also sense Determination, Understanding, and Relief."
"What?" Kid Flash said, with he and the rest of the team confused from hearing the three emotions that are the opposite of the negative emotions. "Why does he have those kinds of emotions?" He then turned back to see the thirteen year-old on the roof, noticing holding a shaky-fist in front of his face. "Roy, what is he doing?" Even if they were inside the ship, the Speedster didn't realize he just said Red Arrow's identity. Though the pouring rain made it a bit hard for him to see what was going on down below, the older-redhead could clearly see Dick trying to get his hand towards his mouth.
"He has something in his hand, and he seems to be having trouble getting it to his mouth." He explained, glaring at the shaky-fist. He then turned to the clone Kryptonian. "Superboy, think you can use your X-Ray vision to see what he has in his hand?" The Boy of Steel nodded his head, narrowed his eyes, and aimed his X-Ray vision towards the thirteen year-old's hand. At first, he thought it was nothing when he couldn't see anything except for blood and rain held within the boy's hand. However, when he noticed something small and white, along with it being covered in dry-blood, the clone Kryptonian knew it wasn't good news after recalling his study of medication pills from Dr. Nesmond at Cadmus. He then turned to Red Arrow.
"Did you know anything about him taking pills?" Both Kid Flash and Red Arrow widen their eyes from the question, while Miss Martian was completely startled from the news and both Artemis and Wolf looked completely guilty. The blonde then raised her hand, gaining Superboy and Miss Martian's attention since she was sitting behind the two redheads.
"I did," she said. Red Arrow turned in his seat to face the younger-archer and gave her one of his glares whenever one of his brothers were hurt.
"And you didn't bother on telling us!" He yelled, looking ready to jump out of his seat and attack the blonde if Kid Flash hadn't gotten out of his seat to hold him down. Artemis turned her gaze to the ground, holding herself as if cold.
"Barbara and I didn't know he had extras, since we took the pills from him when he tried to fall off his roof last Friday." She then dug into her pocket, and held out a small-white bottle to the older-archer. "We noticed that these pills aren't the ones you can find in a store, since these pills are diet pills combined with sleep pills and... According to what we found out from our Science Lab in school, they're also mixed with Ipecac." Kid Flash was more in a panic than ever.
"You mean... Dick made the pills himself?" He then turned his gaze back outside, seeing the hand nearing its destination. He then turned to Miss Martian. "You gotta let me out, now!" He cried. Without having to be told twice, Miss Martian created hole for the Speedster to go through and the team all watch Kid Flash making his way towards the boy.
Outside the Bio-Ship...
The moment he was out in the pouring rain, Kid Flash was immediately cold from the falling water's touch.
'How can Dick stand this weather?' He wondered, landing onto the roof and only feet away from the boy. "Dick!" He called out, hoping that his voice would be heard through the harsh wind. And luckily for him, he was heard when he saw the thirteen year-old's head lift up a bit and slowly turned to see who was behind him. Even with the rain falling rapidly in front of his face and the night making it a bit hard to see, the Speedster could clearly see pained Cerulean/Sapphire-eyes staring back at him. He could also see the droplets of blood gliding down from both sides of the boy's lips, making the Speedster think of a vampire-movie he watched with his uncle. "Dick..." He whispered, slowly walking towards his friend. Dick's eyes glared at the redhead.
"What do you want, Wally?" His voice, low and cracked, surprised Kid Flash when he spoke in English instead of Romanian.
"Dick..." That was all he could say, staring at the complete mess of his little-brother, especially in the rain. He then held a hand out towards the boy, even when they were spaces apart. "Come with us, Dick, we'll help you." Instead of listening to the Speedster, Dick simply glared at him... Until he smirked, a smirk that didn't sounded friendly or trusting, but a smirk that means disbelief and lost in faith.
"So, now you finally want to help?" He said, his fist clenching over the pill. "Is that all I have to do, in order for you guys to actually start caring about me? It only took me to simply kill myself, and then you all decide to finally give a damn about my existence!" Kid Flash wasn't sure what to say to the thirteen year-old, so Dick continued. "Well, guess what, Wally? I finally come to realize that I don't need help from any of you, especially on what I'm going to do!" He then lifted his fist hand towards his mouth, feeling his adrenaline giving him warmth through the rain and the strength to move. Even if he were to use his speed, the Speedster knew he wouldn't be able to stop the boy in time and would result to bigger problem.
[Miss M, stop him!] Wally
[On it!] M'gann
Before the pill was about to slip through Dick's lips, his hand was suddenly stopped from some sort of force and the pill now hang between the middle and pointed finger. Dick's eyes widen in shock when he felt his hand being frozen and now having no control of it. He then noticed the Bio-Ship, and knew that it was Miss Martian that's preventing him from eating the last pill. As if like a wild animal, the boy let loose his cry of anger and was snarling rage.
"Let go!" He yelled. "Damn it, let me go!" As he try to break free from the Martian's control, Kid Flash slowly made his way towards the struggling thirteen year-old.
"Calm down, Dick." He said, as he made himself halfway from where Dick is. "It's alright, we're going to help you." His words seem to have angered Dick even more, for he was greeted by the boy's now soulless eyes that used to held hope.
"By ignoring my cries after wrapping my wounds, and forgetting about me until you hear my next suicide attempt?! Forget it, Wally! You all had your chances, and you blew them after we all had the therapy session with Dinah from the Training Stimulation incident!" As he kept struggling and yelling, Kid Flash noticed that his hand was slowly beginning to move.
[His emotions are too strong for me to withstand, I'm losing my hold on him!] M'gann
[Kid, you have to get that pill and restrain Robin!] Kaldur
[What? I can't do that, Aqualad! He's our friend, our brother...] Wally
[Wally, we have to do this if we want to save his life!] Roy
[But Roy...] Wally
While the team were talking, Dick immediately drew out his pocketknife from his pocket and flipped open the blade.
'The most painful thing I have to do, especially right now, is breaking a promise to get the job done... Forgive me, John...' He then raised the knife over his trapped him, making sure that the blade is aiming for his hand, and then took a deep breath. After collecting as much air he could get in his throbbing lungs, he plunged the small-blade into his right-hand and caused the hand to bleed. At the same time, to let the last pill fall into his awaiting mouth. 'Pill Number twenty, end my pain and suffering, and let me finally pass on.'
And once you're gone, everyone will be better off without you dragging them down... Well, goodbye forever... Nothing...
Dick then put on a sad smile from the voice's words, and from having to break his promise on not using the pocketknife to spill blood. However, his mind was quickly distracted on how his vision was getting weaker and his breathing was growing more shallow than before.
'Is this really the end?' He wondered, as his ears slowly began to go deaf to block out the sounds of Wally's cry or the teams Telepathic cries. 'Is this how Robin's suppose to die?' He then reached for the pocketknife that was still plunged into his hand, slowly pulling the blade out and stumbling backwards towards the ledge. He then leaned his head back, staring tiredly at the clouds releasing the cold droplets of water to wash away his blood and the lightning releasing its cry. 'Is this how Richard John Grayson's suppose to die?' His body then grew heavy, which explains to why his back was now pressed against the ledge and his legs giving out. As he felt himself slinking backwards, his left-hand that still held the pocketknife clench itself around the small blade, while his right let itself slip off of the hard-material of the building. Even with his five senses slowly going off, along his heart and mind shutting off, he still put on a tiring smile on his face. 'Is this how Dick Grayson's suppose to die?' With the help of gravity and a harsh force of wind made by Kid Flash when he tried to reach out for his friend, the boy finally got his death wish... To die falling, just like his finally. 'Yes... This is how we're suppose to die...' Before his world went into darkness, the last thing he saw was the completely shock on Kid Flash's face and his right-hand still extended towards him... Just like he had done that very night...
End of Flashback...
"And that was when M'gann caught him with her Telekinesis, and then we immediately went towards the direction to Mount Justice." By the time Wally had finished his story, the tears he had been trying to hide had finally came out and he buried his face into his hands. "We could've lost him, and we would've lost him if M'gann hadn't captured him when I couldn't... Some Speedster I am, I'm suppose to be the fastest kid on Earth and I was too slow to grab him before he was starting to fall." Flash wrapped an arm around his nephew, pulling the sixteen year-old towards him to have the younger Speedster cry on his shoulder.
"It wasn't your fault, Wally." Flash told the redhead.
"But if M'gann hadn't caught him, then it would've been my fault! I would've helped my brother kill himself!" Flash simply tightened his hold on his nephew. Kid Flash wasn't the only one blaming himself for what happened in Gotham, for the teams are also blaming themselves and allowing tears to spill from their eyes. The League were still completely startled from what they've been told, especially shocked that Dick would've died the same way his family did five years ago. And even from hearing their words and the sight of the boy's wounds being evidence enough to back up their story, they still couldn't believe that a bright thirteen year-old child, would actually take his own life away when his life is completely perfect... Or so they thought.
Three Hours Later...
After waiting for three hours, the doors finally opened and out came J'onn and Zatara, with no Bruce in his bat-uniform. Most of the team were asleep, only having Roy and Wolf awake with the Justice League.
"How'd it go?" Oliver asked, keeping an arm around the older-redhead's shoulders while Dinah holds Artemis. Both martian and magician stared at each other, one looking rather uneasy and the other looking completely blank. Wolf, who seemed to sense something wrong, walked up towards the two and let loose a couple of whimpering as if asking them 'what's wrong?'. J'onn then nodded his head to Zatara and then turned back to go back into the room, where Dick and Bruce are currently in. However, Wolf got in front of him of the door and gave him a low growl. It was obvious that the white-wolf wanted to go in and see Dick, and to know why they were ignoring his question.
"You may come, Wolf." J'onn told the white-animal, pushing one of the doors open and letting Wolf go in first before he went back inside himself. Giovanni lowered his gaze to the floor, dreading what he was going to tell the group while the martian is going to most likely tell Bruce once he wakes up.
"Zatara?" Dinah asked, placing her right-hand over Oliver's left. "Is Dick going to be alright?" The magician knew he couldn't keep the truth from them any longer, and with most of the team sleeping, it was going to be more painful to tell them about their youngest member.
"The blood-transfusion went well, just as we hoped." He explained, lifting his gaze to the group. "However, there's a problem: Due to the amount of stress Dick has suffered for so long and the effects of the pills he has taken... We had to make a difficult decision in order to save his life, and help him recover..."
The memories are shadows; ink on the page!
And I can't seem to find my way home...
A Week Later...
One week... It has been a whole week since Giovanni told the Justice League from that night about Dick's condition, six days since the team and the rest of the League had been told after returning to the Watchtower from Earth... However, to Bruce, it seemed like an entire eternity when J'onn told him that exact night his Little Bird has been put in a comatose state after his heart gave out twice during surgery and once during the blood transfusion. To say Batman was furiated when he heard the news, was an understatement. When he was given the news, he was beyond pissed and was about ready to murder J'onn after he received the news. However, deep down, he knew what the martian did is keeping the boy alive. But even so, it still pained the playboy to see his son motionless on the bed and stuck within the Land of Dreams, with a possible chance that he may not be able to wake up.
'Just like his uncle,' he thought. 'Falling towards his death, only to be in a comatose and pass on in his sleep.' The sound of doors sliding open, and the sound of footsteps entering the room brought Bruce from his thoughts and turn to see his faithful butler and father-figure. "Alfred..." With tired eyes, the playboy could still tell how upset and worried the elder is right now about the boy on the hospital bed.
"I came to see how you and the Young Master are doing, Sir." Alfred informed, then holding out both of his arms to show Bruce what looks to be a small-black journal. "I also came to inform you, that I had caught Master Wallace and Master Roy snooping into Master Richard's Journal. It seems that they have found something interesting, and yet startling discoveries from reading the Young Master's personal thoughts." Bruce narrowed his eyes from the information he's been told.
"Where are they?" He asked, slowly getting out of his seat and gently taking the butler.
"They are both in the Entertainment Room, with the rest of the team accompanying them. Both seemed rather upset, and I believe it's more to what they just read than what they just committed."
"And the rest of the team?"
"Also upset, Sir."
"Which means they've also read Dick's Journal." Before he could make his way to leave the room, Alfred placed a hand on Bruce's right-shoulder to stop him.
"It may be best not to crush them than they already are, Master Bruce." The elder then turned his gaze to the thirteen year-old, who was simply sleeping and hadn't moved a finger after being placed in a coma. "Besides, I believe they did the right thing by reading his Journal, though I also believe it was not very wise of them to read his feelings and secrets he had kept for so long." The playboy stared down at the journal in his right-hand, then lifted his gaze to Alfred, and then to the sleeping child.
"Have you?..."
"No, Sir. Though, I planned on doing so later on when the time is right." Bruce nodded his head and then made his way out of the room, leaving the butler to take care of his pride and joy that is hanging on to a thread.
In Entertainment Room...
"Would any one of you want to tell me who, in their right mind, suggested on reading Dick's personal thoughts that he wants to be kept as a secret?!" Bruce yelled at the team, glaring down at them with his tired Navy-Blue eyes. Even when he's in his civilian clothes and wasn't the Batman at the moment, he can still be scary and prove to not be taken so lightly. The team shivered and coward at his gaze, even Roy was completely frightened from the look he's receiving from the playboy billionaire. "Well?" He continued on, turning his gaze to the two redheads of the group. "Alfred told me you two found the Journal, so spill it!" He then held up the black-journal, making sure not to damage the book within his grasp. Both redheads turned to each other, giving each other unsure looks but also in understanding. They both nodded, and faced Bruce Wayne once again.
"It was my idea, Bruce." Wally said, raising his hand in the air. "I found his journal three days after we've been told about Dick's condition, because I wanted to find out how long he's been having these emotions for and when it all started. So, right after Alfred left to go shopping, I did a quick scope in his bedroom to find anything that could give me some answers, and that's when I found the journal in-between his mattresses. The moment I found it, I went back to the Watchtower and showed it to Roy instead of reading it immediately. At that time, Roy was with Dick when you were off patrolling Gotham that night." Bruce didn't seem to like Wally's explanation when he told the playboy how long he had kept the journal for.
"And you kept this for four days from us, why?"
"Because after we finished reading it, we knew that the others had the rights to know how long our brother feeling and holding his emotions for." Roy answered that time, getting out of his spot and glaring at Bruce with his blue-eyes. "We were planning on letting the League know about it, but it seems that you're not going to let them."
"Damn straight," the older-adult answer. Everyone lowered their gaze to the floor, with Roy growling and tightening his hands into fists. "Not without me, that is." That time, everyone raised their heads and stared at the billionaire again from the added words he just said. "Alfred and I have a right to know as well, so I shall be holding a meeting and shall summon the League to hear what Dick had been keeping. For now, I must leave to get into my suit." He then turned his back to them and made his way towards the opened doors. "You may either participate, stay within this room, or watch over Dick." He then stopped. "Also..." He then turned his gaze to the two redheads. "If either one of you break into my house again and take what belongs to us, I will personally hunt you down and feed you to Killer Croc at the Asylum." Both Roy and Wally shivered from the thought of having to be chased by the Dark Knight, and not having their mentors to save them. "And one more thing... Thank you..." Their fears immediately disappeared when he heard the words they never thought to get from the billionaire playboy, let alone from Batman. Just as he said those words, he walked out of the room and the two doors closed.
In Meeting Room...
"Is every League Member here?" Batman asked Superman, who was sitting at his right two seats away and at the end of one-side of the table. Flash, who was sitting at the left of Superman, made a quick run around the room and got back in his seat six-seconds later.
"Yep, that's everyone." He informed. "Well, except for Roy. Should we wait for him and the team?"
"No," the Dark Knight answered. "They've already read the journal, and will come in only if they want to re-read what they already read." Alfred, who sat at Bruce's right, kept a hand on the black journal that sat in front of him and looking rather uncertain about his charge's decision. Diana, at Bruce's left, placed a hand over his left-hand with her right.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Bruce?" She asked, staring at the small book being covered by Alfred's gloved hands. "We're going to be hearing and finding out secrets Dick has been hiding for so long, and they could actually be personal stuff that he doesn't want nobody to know about." Bruce let loose a sigh, and patted the hand on his left with his right.
"I know, Diana." He replied, also staring at the book the butler was keeping within his grasp. "But I've ignored my son for so long, that I need to know how to fix this." Soon, the room grew quiet, and Batman stood from his seat. "Now that we are all hear, it's time to hear what the team had learned from reading Dick's Journal." Before he could ask Alfred for the book, J'onn, sitting beside Superman, spoke out.
"If I may, Batman, I can simply link Dick's voice and words from his journal into our minds so nobody has to read it. I may also be able to have us see what he has gone through, as we hear along." He offered, holding his left-hand out towards Alfred as if knowing the billionaire will agree. And after thinking about the offer for a minute, Bruce agreed and allowed the butler to give Dick's Journal to the green martian. As he opened the cover to the beginning of the pages, his red-eyes brightened and everyone began to hear Dick's voice within their mind.
And it's almost like... Your heaven's trying everything-
Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out
Monday: March 13, 2005
Well, only one more week until Spring comes on March 20 and then I'll be 8 years old. Jeez, how time sure flies. It seems like only yesterday that I was just 4 years old and was doing the trapeze for the first time, and the next I'm 7, only to become 8 in a week. Even though I'm so excited on being a year older than what I am right now, I'm really going to miss being 7. Actually, I miss being young and wish that I could go back into being a little kid. But there's nothing I can do to time, because is changing us all without us knowing it. Well, whatever time has in store for us, I just hope it doesn't separate me from my family... Or change the love I have for all of them.
Both my mom and aunt thought that my cousin and I should have our own journals, something to write personal stuff and secrets that we want to only know for ourselves or to practice our writing in the other languages we're either learning or starting to learn and speak in. Of course, we both thought it was girly at first, until my father and uncle told us that they have their own journals and that it wasn't considered a 'diary' like our mothers'. And so, we had no choice but to accept the small books we were given by our parents, which we both had about a week ago. I don't know why I've decided to write into this book right now, but something odd has been building up inside of me, that the journal was practically calling for me... And now, I actually like having a journal to write in. It's almost like writing our own story or book, only we're filling the pages up with our secrets and emotions... I promise that one of these days, I'll thank my parents for the journal and hopefully to give a journal to somebody else who may need one.
Tuesday: March 28, 2005
John told me we're going to New York City, in a place called 'Gotham City,' while we were working on our flips. I'm actually nervous from the thought of heading towards North America, especially if we're going to preform in one of the biggest cities in the world. Though, I always did wanted to see Lady Liberty in actual life instead of pictures. Still, I'm just scared and worried about the thought of being lost in the crowd and having nobody to understand me in Romanian when I'm still learning English. John told me not to worry about it, since we'll be performing a bit far from the city and yet close enough for people to come and watch.
Right now, I'm trying to see if I could do a quintuple flip instead of a quadruple flip, since I've been told nobody was able to perform that and I wanted to be the first to try it. However, mom and dad forbid me to do it unless I have a net to catch me. In an attempt to cheer me up, John patted me on the head.
"Nu vă faceți griji, veți obține șansa de.(Don't worry, you'll get your chance.)" He said to me, before leaving to go take a break from doing flips with me.
Even though we're only cousins, he seems to treat me like a little brother and I can never ask for a better brother-figure than my own Cousin John. Sometimes, I would forget he is my cousin and is my actual brother. Other times, I think he feels the same whenever I'm upset or helping some of the circus people take care of the animals. However, I'm just glad, and lucky, that he is my cousin and my very first friend. And maybe when we're a bit older, we can do a couple of flips together that would dazzle the crowd and the circus. Until that time comes, I'll just have to keep practicing on doing the quintuple flip.
"Alright, so far it only talks about him and his family." Flash said. "You sure he has something serious, or secretive in his journal?"
"The team were upset after reading Master Dick's Journal, Master Flash." Alfred answered, giving him his own Bat-Glare. "And I would advise you to not interrupt Master Manhunter again." Flash was glad that he was sitting and wasn't standing, other wise he would've fell flat-down on the floor.
"Right," he replied. He then turned to Shayera, who was sitting at his left. "I think I may know where Bruce gets the Bat-Glare from," he whispered to her.
"Shall I continue?" J'onn asked, earning nods from everyone in the room. Though sitting at the other side of the table, Bruce could clearly see what date was up next and it made his blood go cold.
All the places I've been and things I've seen...
A million stories that made up a million shattered dreams
Saturday: April 1, 2005
Something feels wrong today, very wrong, and I don't think that it's because today is April Fools Day. I don't know what or why, but I feel something bad is going to happen, and it won't be either a playful prank or a hilarious joke.
I think this feeling first came after that man, who went to see Mr. Haly, eight hours ago, which was around the time I was taking a break from practicing and Sitka was playing with me by taking my towel away from me. I could tell that man was bad news, because he was talking about money while picking himself off the ground when Mr. Haly whipped him off his feet. I knew right away that he must've been a gang leader, and is trying to get my grandfather-figure to pay him protection money.
"If you don't get off of my property right now, I'm calling the police!" He threatened, whipping at the man's feet to make him back up. Though I was hoping he would either call the cops right now, whip that man again and injure him, or get Bruno, our Strong-man, to get rid of him. The man decided to make things easier for all of us and decided to leave, rather face the three choices if he didn't listen.
"Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you, Old Man." He said, backing away from Mr. Haly's trailer."Because once something bad happens, you're going to regret on not having Tony Zucco's protective service." He then bumped into me, and caused me to fall to the dirt. "Out of my way, runt!" I glared back at him, watching him leaving the circus ground until his figure vanished minutes later. Sitka wrapped her trunk around my waist, helping me back on my feet, while Mr. Haly came over and brushed the dirt off of my costume and skin.
"Te simți bine, Dick?(Are you alright, Dick?)" He asked, checking to make sure I wasn't hurt by that man. I nodded my head, as I wrapped my arms around Sitka's trunk and patted her to let her know she did a good job.
"Cine era omul acela, bunicule?(Who was that man, grandpa?)" I asked, sounding concerned and worried on what that man said to him. Mr. Haly simply smiled gently at me, trying to cheer me up and offer comfort instead of revealing how angry he is.
"Doar un om, care a cerut pentru necazuri.(Just a man, who's asking for trouble.)" He answered, patting me on the head and patting Sitka to praise her also. "Acum, cred că e timpul pentru tine de a lovi dușuri și odihniți-vă pentru spectacolul din seara asta. Vom avea un invitat special in seara asta, deci trebuie să ne uităm noastre cele mai bune și de a efectua cele mai bune noastre pentru seara asta.(Now then, I believe it's time for you to hit the showers and rest up for tonight's show. We're going to have a special guest tonight, so we must look our best and perform our best for tonight.)" I nodded my head again, knowing very well he was talking about the man who paid us to come and perform for Gotham. Though I may not know this man very much, I wish to please him and my grandfather very much, along with the rest of my circus family and actual family. When Sitka decided to put me on her back, as if to protect me in case that man comes back, I rode her all the way towards my trailer, which was really my home.
Apparently, my parents and I have our own trailer and my relatives have their own. I wouldn't had minded sharing a trailer with them, but I guess my folks and relative wanted to have separate trailers be for privacy or something like that.
Anyway, right after Sitka placed me down and went off towards the Big Top to practice, I quickly took a shower. Once I was all clean and had put on sweat-pants and a t-shirt, I placed my costume into the washer and went towards my bed to get some sleep. I knew mom had already washed their costume, and I'm pretty sure my relatives did the same, so either she or dad would finish my wash and wake me up when it's time to for dinner. But even as I laid in my bed to get some sleep, my mind was still on that man who threatened my grandfather... Tony Zucco, his name alone sent shiver down my spine, and I can't help but think something bad is going to happen... And I have this feeling it's going to happen to me, and my family. I just hope that my feeling is wrong.
"Tony Zucco? I heard that his uncle, Arnold Stromwell, was a leader of a gang and that he disowned his own nephew after Batman paid him a visit." Captain Marvel said, feeling a bit nervous on what the next page is going to say. And as if to answer his question, the next page had tear-stains and ink-marking over the words.
Sunday: April 2, 2005
They're gone... Dear God in Heaven... They're dead... I can't believe it, but I did. I should've known something bad was going to happen last night, but I was too little too late when the rope snapped around my cue to jump in with the family... I should've told them! I should've told Mr. Haly that I saw him coming out of the tent before the show began! But I didn't... And because of that, my mother and father are... Gone...
After I had scaled down the ladder, I was by my family's body in an instant. It then all became a big blur to me, and yet I remember it as clear as day, or rather as clear as night: Me crying out to my parents, everyone screaming and panicking from watching my family fall and the sight of my their bodies, Mr. Haly and Pete the Knife Thrower trying to pull me away from them, me clinging onto my cousin and Aunt Karla for dear life, me covered in my own family's blood and staring into their closed empty-eyes, police sirens coming from outside of the Big Top, a person pulling me away from my family and holding me in place until darkness took over my sight...
I don't remember what happened much after that, for I soon found myself in Mr. Haly's arms and being surrounded by the my circus family, including the circus animals. I didn't have to ask them if it were all just a dream and that my family are still alive, because I was still covered in their now dry-blood and the blood had gotten on Mr. Haly and Pete's clothing as well when they tried to pull me away from my folks. I felt tears forming in my eyes, my heart was banging against my chest, my lungs growing heavy from pressure, and my stomach doing flips on its own.
"Bunic...(Grandpa...)" I whispered. "Au plecat... Sunt morți... El le-a ucis!... Le-a luat de lângă mine!... De la noi!...(They're gone... They're dead... He killed them!... Took them away from me!... From us!...)" I knew that he knew who I was mentioning... It was that man who came and demanded protection money from him. That man who warned him for not wanting his service. We were too late to finally realized he meant he was going to make us pay the consequences for not listening or giving him money.
"Îmi pare atât de rău, Dickie.(I'm so sorry, Dickie.)" Mr. Haly said to me, pulling me back into his chest and letting me cry on his shoulder. I could hear and feel him sobbing with me, along with my circus family weeping and crying with us. I could even hear the animals crying and whimpering with us, either sensing and seeing our sadness or had also seen my family fall to their deaths. Even with my grandfather-figure holding me and the circus people offering me their company, I feel completely numb and alone.
I cried for hours, even when my circus family had no more tears to shed, I still had many tears to shed.
"Unde sunt ei?(Where are they?)" I asked Mr. Haly, finally able to calm down but tears still streaming down my face. I could tell it was still late, or better yet early, and I can still hear police scouting the whole circus and with blurry eyes can see police cars flashing their red and blue lights. My grandpa seemed uneasy to answer the question, then he looked up and stared at something or someone for answers. I didn't know who else was here, besides my circus family and the animals, but he nodded his head at whoever he was staring at and stared back down at me.
"La Spitalul General Gotham(At the Gotham General Hospital)," he replied. "Medicii se pregătesc părinții tăi, mătușa Karla, și Ioan, vărul să fie îngropat.(The doctors are preparing your parents, Aunt Karla, and Cousin John to be buried.)" I knew he was going to tell me they were taken away, but I had to ask so that I didn't mistaken my theory or had missed them being buried already. I then come to realize two things that I didn't get, while my head was slowly recovering from the headache created by me crying: One, did we really have enough to hold a funeral? And two, why didn't Mr. Haly include my Uncle Richard to be buried?
"Ce-i cu unchiul Rick?(What about Uncle Rick?)" I asked, feeling a speck of hope starting to build within my heart. I just hope I wasn't mistaking this thought, or feeling that's going through my entire being. "Este în viață?(Is he alive?)" And for an answer, Mr Haly nodded his head. I then put on the best smile I could put on my face from the news, but it quickly died when my grandpa and the circus people weren't smiling at all. "Ce e în neregulă este unchiul Rick? Bine?(What's wrong? Is Uncle Rick alright?)" Instead of a good news answer, it was a bad news answer I received.
"Dick... Nu e ceva ce trebuie să-ți spun, și am nevoie de tine să-i spuneți locotenent Gordon ceea ce ai văzut.(Dick... There's something we need to tell you, and we need you to tell Lieutenant Gordon what you saw.)" I turned my head, and stared at the dark orange-brown hair and mustache detective coming into the center of my family circle. I could tell the animals didn't like, nor trusted him. The lions, Jamba and Mila, were making rumbling sounds in their chests and it wasn't their usual purring rumble. Peaches, the gorilla, was snarling. Dolly and Polly, our Ussuri brown bears, growled at the man. Sitka, standing behind Mr. Haly, wrapped her trunk around us and pulled us towards her. Mr. Haly, however, gently swatted her trunk off of us and the rest of the circus people were trying their best to silence the animals and keeping them away from Lieutenant Gordon. He looked very sad, and I could tell from the look in his eyes, he pity me. He then gestured towards the exit of the Big Top.
"This way, please." He said, leading us away from the rest of our family and towards the direction of cops talking and flashes of photographers. As we made our way outside, I could tell in the pit of my stomach that there's going to be more bad news... And this time, it's going to be worse.
J'onn stopped the telepathic words of Dick, feeling everyone in the room shocked, upset, startled, and also in pain. He turned his gaze towards Bruce and Alfred, seeing the butler gently wiping the tears from his eyes with his handkerchief and Bruce bowing his head.
"Please, continue." He told the green martian, not bothering to lift his head and to stare at the Martian Manhunter.
"Very well..."
The faces of people I'll never see again!
And I can't seem to find my way home...
Monday: April 3, 2005
It was pouring outside... Raining heavily, crying... It seems that the sky, Heaven itself, is crying with us today, as we all gathered in front of the tombstones in the Gotham City Cemetery. The circus people and I, along with other people of Gotham, were all wearing black and held sad expressions on their faces. I could hear them weeping behind me, as I stood in front of the four tombstones of my deceased family: My mother, Mary Grayson. My father, John Grayson. My aunt, Karla Grayson... And my cousin, John Richard Grayson. I was the only one standing in front of their death beds, as the rest stood a couple of feet away and slowly began to leave the cemetery. I was too busy staring at my parents' grave and drowning in my own grief, that I didn't realize I was the only person left until the sound of footsteps caught my hearing and stopped beside me.
"Bună ziua, Dick.(Hello, Dick.)" The voice greeted, though the voice also sounded sad. "Eu sunt Bruce Wayne... Îmi pare rău pentru pierderea ta.(I'm Bruce Wayne... I'm sorry for your loss.)" I turned my gaze towards the owner of the voice, staring at his Navy-Blue eyes gazing at the four tombstones that held pain and understanding within his own eyes. I could tell he truly means what he said and not like the other citizens of Gotham, who all only came to pity me. I then turned back to stare at the stones in front of me.
"Mulțumesc, domnule Wayne, pentru tot.(Thank you, Mr. Wayne, for everything.)" I said, my voice low and near to a whisper. "Am auzit că ai plătit pentru toate astea.(I heard you paid for all this.)" The rain continued to fall and the clouds seemed to have grown even more darker than before, as if making the day to turn to night. The only sound there is was the rain splashing and sprinkling down the Earth, and the rumbling sound of thunder.
"Deci... Cum te descurci?(So... How are you holding up?)" He asked, breaking the silence. I hate it when people ask me that sort of question, because it was completely obvious that I'm not going to be okay and I will forever until to this day will remember the tragic of my family's fall. Nevertheless, I answered him.
"Voi fi bine... Cel puțin, asta e ceea ce toată lumea a fost mi-a spus.(I'll be okay... At least, that's what everybody's been telling me.)" I closed my eyes, feeling the tears forming once again and re-opening them to stare at my parents' grave. I bit down on my lip, causing small droplets of blood to glide down my chin and to disappear into the Earth. There were red-roses on top of each of my deceased family's death bed. The tears in my eyes streamed down, and the feeling of a lump being lodged in my throat made my voice cracked. "Mi-e dor(I miss them)," I said. "Nu este vorba doar corect!...(It's just not fair!...)" I dug my nails into my palms, not caring that I'm causing them to bleed just as I did to my bottom-lip. I didn't care on how broken my voice sounded to the man beside me, because I'm already broken. I can't be fixed, and may never be fixed again. The only thing that's actually keeping me together instead of falling apart, is the thought of my uncle still alive. However, because of the fall, he couldn't come to the funeral. In fact, he won't be going back to the circus... And neither am I, because I'm being taken away from my circus family and being placed to an Orphanage. Now my life has gone from bad to worse, and I have this feeling it's going to get worse once Haly and the circus had to leave. I need to wrap up my time in the cemetery, because today is the day I have to pack whatever I could take with me and then say goodbye to my circus family. "Oricum, multumesc din nou.(Anyway, thanks again.)" I told Mr. Wayne, and without looking back to either the tombstones or Bruce Wayne and feeling completely numb to feel the rain pouring down on me, I slowly made my way out of the cemetery through the rain and went back to the circus grounds.
Thursday: April 6, 2005
Three days... It's been three days since I said goodbye to my circus family... Three days since Lieutenant Gordon took me away from them... Three days since I've been placed in the Juvenile Detention Center, rather than the Orphanage. It turns out they didn't have anymore room for more orphans and with nobody to take me in, the detective had no choice but to take me to their last resort. Even though it was the only place for me to be, I still don't know why I've been placed in a terrible building like the JDC, since I've been told that the Juvenile Detention Center is for kids or teens under the age of 18 who had committed crimes, or are no longer sane anymore to help or control. In other words, I'm in a prison... More like Hell itself... No, I was already in Hell the moment I had watched my family fall and to leave my circus family.
It was hard for me, the circus people, and even the animals: Losing all of their six Acrobats in one day, with one of them in a comatose, and their youngest to be taken away when they all had offered to adopt me. I really wanted to stay with Mr. Haly and the others, but I knew Lieutenant Gordon was only doing his job. Not only that, their could've been a chance that Tony Zucco would find out I became a material witness to what he's done and he would most likely go after the circus to finish what he started: Kill me and the rest of the circus.
Not only that, I wouldn't had wanted to leave my uncle behind and have him grieve over the lost of our family and his legs by himself the moment he awakes from his coma. Technically, I guess I would've chose to stay behind, even if I were given a chance to either stay in Gotham or go with my circus family. I could never leave a family member behind, and I wasn't going to start.
So, after I had gathered whatever I could get and put into my suitcase, I gave one last look of my trailer. My family's trailer... My home. And then, after absorbing the sight of the inside of my home, I slowly made my way out and was met with the whole circus all gathered around with sad expressions on their faces. Lieutenant Gordon, wearing the same trench-coat last night but seems to be clean, stood away from the group and next to his police car. Mr. Haly, my grandfather-figure, made his way towards me and placed his hands on both of my shoulders.
"Dick... I..." He seems to be having trouble on what to say to me, and I couldn't blame him. Because we knew that this will probably be the last time we'll see, or hear, each other ever again until his next arrival to Gotham, which won't be for a long time. I placed a hand on his left-hand, that was on my right-shoulder. I then guided that hand off my shoulder and placed the palm towards my cheek, trying my best to smile at him.
"Îmi vei lipsi de asemenea, bunicul.(I'll miss you too, Grandpa.)" I told him, as I tried my best to fight off the tears that threaten to form and be strong for him. He smiled down at me, as tears formed into his eyes.
"Și amintiți-vă mereu, Dickie, ca vei fi mereu o parte din această familie.(And always remember, Dickie, that you'll always be part of this family.)" He then guided his right-hand towards my back, and pulled me into an embrace. I also returned the embrace, closing my eyes and trying to absorb the comfort his arms had always give to me whenever I was upset or feel lonesome, which usually happens when one of my parents or relatives are sick or injured.
"Mulțumesc, bunicule.(Thank you, Grandpa.)" I said to him, feeling his arms tightening their hold on me as if afraid somebody was going to snatch me away if I stayed any longer within their hold, which is what happening once I finished my goodbyes to the circus.
After our hug had to come to a quick close, I slowly walked out of his arms and made my way to Bruno. Though he was very strong and had big muscles that were twice as large than my father and uncle, his arms also made me feel safe and secured, with promise-like strength to protect me from harm.
"Take care of yourself, Dick Grayson." He said to me, patting me gently on the back with his left and his right brushing and rubbing the back of my raven-black hair. I then went to Connie and Pete, the twins of the circus, who both wrapped an arm around me and we had our own personal group-hug.
"We're going to miss you, Dickie." Connie said to me, placing a kiss on my forehead, while Pete threaded his fingers through my hair.
"Though you'll be staying in Gotham City, always remember where your true-home is." He said, and then they both placed me back down to the ground. I turned my head to the sound of footsteps coming from the right-side of me.
Kain, the Animal Tamer, didn't bring his whip and yet both Jamba and Mila were at both of his sides. I could tell from staring into their yellowish-green cat eyes that they're also sad about me leaving. Kain then got down on one knee, reached for something from his pocket and placed the item into my left-hand when he pulled it towards him.
"Something for you to remember us by," he said. I slowly opened my hand, and stared down at a silver-chain necklace, that had a pendant of a wolf and a pendant of a robin. I stared up at the Animal Tamer, who simply smiled sadly at me and shrugged his shoulders. "I did tell you that I would find a wolf to train in the circus, and I'm still going to hold that promise to you." He then pulled me towards him, as Jamba and Mila both nuzzled my head with their noses and purred as loud as they could. Mila even licked me on the cheek, and Jamba pulled me towards him when Kain finally let me go."Dickie, promise me that you won't lose the necklace or either of the pendants." Once I was released from Jamba's powerful-paw, I wrapped the small-chain around my neck and locked its end at the back of my neck to make it hold.
"Promit(Promise)," I said. I then heard a soft growl coming from behind me and recognizing the feeling of long-black hair, it was Peaches giving me a hug. She also looked sad, her silver-grey eyes gazing down into my bloodshot-Cerulean/Sapphire-eyes. I could tell what she's trying to say, which also spoke for the lions and the rest of the animals of the circus.
'Don't go...' I only shook my head slowly, returning the embrace to the gorilla until she slowly placed me back down to the ground. Then Dolly and Polly, our two bears, nuzzled me like the lions did, only Dolly rubbed her nose against my right-hand and Polly rubbed her nose into my hair. After they had each given me a lick on the cheek and hand, they pulled away.
"Îmi pare rău," I whispered to them. I then felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and found myself in the arms of Travis, the Fire-breather.
"We're definitely going to miss that warmth you always give to us," he told me. Then he handed me off to David, the clown.
"Though there will be somebody high on a high-wire and we may need new people on the trapeze, there will be nobody on Earth to replace our Flying Graysons." I smiled up at him, and wrapped my arms around his neck. I needed words to comfort me and he had given it to me. I'm glad to hear that they would never truly replace me or my family for another trapeze artists, even if they would have to find new acrobats in the future.
I then felt another tap on my shoulder, only it wasn't a hand. I then felt something wrap itself around my waist, gently pulling me away from David, and towards the one member who I was going to miss terribly the most: Sitka. I held my arms out towards her, wrapping them gently around her face, as she held me near her face and rubbing her massive head against my hands and face.
"Știu, Sitka... Eu voi fi dor de tine, prea...(I know, Sitka... I'm gonna miss you, too...)" I said to her, knowing very well from her tight grip that she didn't want me to leave. As she placed me back on solid ground, I heard footsteps coming our way and knew that it was Lieutenant Gordon, even as I still hugged Sitka and had my eyes close to remember the feeling of her hug, along with everybody else. Then I felt a new hand on my left-shoulder, making me turn my head to see the detective.
"It's time," he told me. Sitka slightly tightened her trunk around my waist even more, as if trying to dare the stranger to take me away. Reluctantly, she slowly released me and watched me grab for my suitcase that was still placed beside Mr. Haly. Before I even went inside the car, I turned to stare at my circus family one last time to see them all together. Then, I lifted my head and let loose a low howl, as if reminding Kain to get that wolf he promised to get. Once the howl was done and waving good-bye, I slowly went inside the passenger-seat of the car and closed the door behind me.
As I buckled my seat-belt, my eyes caught a reflection in the review mirror outside of my door. I was surprised that the whole circus, plus the animals, could actually fit within the small mirror. But what surprises me the most, is how tried to keep the smiles on their faces, while some were already crying or having tears streaming down their faces. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out, only to watch sadly at how their images began to shrink from Lieutenant Gordon driving away from the circus ground. Before I knew it, I could no longer see them or the Big Top. I then had to put my head back inside the car and roll up the window, knowing very well that it was most likely the last time I may ever see them again.
And so, here I am. I'm staying in a Detention Center that is also known as 'Mini-Arkham' or 'Junior Asylum', and have been living through the first three days of this Hell... It's terrible here, and everything I've heard about this place was true: The JDC is more like a prison for kids and teens, we barely get fed because the adults seems to enjoy on watching us starve, the people working here are very cruel and abusive to us, the older kids are the bullies and don't get into trouble on picking the younger kids, and we don't get any medical attention. I'm just glad the guards make us sleep in our own rooms, other wise I would've been turned and be used as a twenty-four/seven punching bag for the older kids and teens.
Before he left me here, Commissioner Gordon told me that I'll only be living here until I'm either adopted or fostered, or until I become 18 years old. It turns out because of my uncle being paralyzed and even if he were to wake up, he wouldn't be able to take care of me and may never be able to for the rest of his life. I doubt anybody would want me, since I had lived in the circus for my entire life and I would only speak in Romanian unless I trust someone enough to speak in English... And because of that, I'm consider as an 'outcast,' or more of an 'outsider'. So, it would seem that I'll be stuck in the JDC for a good 10 years. But if I'm lucky, I could either escape this place or perhaps... Well, die long before I would become an adult or a teenager. I just hope that if I die, my uncle will wake up from his coma and try to live on for all of us. If he gets lucky, he should try to get back to Haly and live with the circus again... And as long as my family are happy and together, then I won't regret dying in this Hell.
When J'onn had stopped his telekinesis, it was pretty clear to everyone in the room that they now understood how the team and Red Arrow felt while they were reading it. The green martian wondered if his niece had used her telekinesis powers, like he was doing, to hear it through Dick's voice and not each other. J'onn also noticed that some of the pages had blood-stains on it, which meant that the boy hadn't been spared while staying at the Juvenile Detention Center. Though the emotions from others were making him feel a bit uncomfortable, he continued the reading.
Cause it's almost like... Your heaven's trying everything to break me down!
Cause it's almost like... Your heaven's trying everything to keep me out!
Thursday: April 13, 2005
I went to see my uncle today at the GCGH, the Gotham City General Hospital. Lieutenant Gordon was able to get the JDC to let me go and see my uncle, since the guards don't appear to like me very much. So far, the doctor said his condition hasn't changed but believe that he would get better soon. Unlike the guards at the JDC, the doctors of the hospital are very nice. In fact, they were even kind enough to get me some food and treat my injuries. Though their food don't appear to be that very good like my mom or aunt's cooking, it was way better than the JDC's food. I guess they noticed on how much weight I had loss and the wounds I had on my body, since my food would end up being snatched off my tray or end up on the floor from bullies taking them or making me starve for the fun of it, along with the continuous beating I would receive at Mini-Arkham.
I'm very glad to have seen my uncle, but I was very upset that he wasn't awake to see me and that his condition hadn't gotten better at all... I hope he gets well soon, I miss him very much... Just as much as I miss my circus family, and our deceased family. I also miss the sunshine, because it seems that in Gotham City, it would only be mostly cloudy or rainy everyday and it would be very rare to have a sunny day for at least a day or two, even if it were to be Spring or Summer. I should be glad that I could at least see the stars and moon, even though they would hide for a couple of nights and would comeback for one night.
Right after visiting hours were over, which was at nine and I had been there at one, Lieutenant Gordon took me back to the Junior Asylum and the guards yanked me back to my room, which was more of a cell with a high-voltage door and barred windows. I didn't bother on unpacking my things, in case somebody were to try and take something valuable from me, and had kept my suitcase under my bed that would be too small for a teen or an adult to crawl in but enough for me to crawl under. The only stuff I'm allowing out of my suitcase is my Journal, but only at night in case someone gets into my room and humiliates me on having a 'diary' to the entire JDC. I also had to keep my necklace in my suitcase, so that nobody would steal it and make me break my promise to Kain. As for clothes, we all get our own clothes that the JDC makes us wear: Dark-blue sweats, black-shoes like Arkham prisoners has, and white T-shirts. Since I'm the smallest kid in Mini-Arkham, my sweats go past my feet and the end of my t-shirt ends halfway down my thighs. I'm just glad that they got the right-size shoes, and that I could use the ends of my pants to cover my feet when I'm not wearing any socks or shoes.
I'm mostly surprised that I'm not ending up wild or dangerous like the rest of the kids and teens, since it appears to only take just three days to become a wild-animal. I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who haven't given up my sanity, but could be unlucky of being one of the still 'normals' in the building. Because of my calm-nature and the behavior that everyone is behaving, it'll most likely be hard for me to make any friends in the JDC at all. I clearly doubt that anybody would want a friend like me to have, especially since I look to be between a 5 to a 7 year-old and skinny as a tree-branch... Even if it seems impossible, I still wish to have a friend to keep me company when I'm not going to visit my uncle at the GCGH and to know how it feels of being weak and helpless to fight back... Mom would always tell me, "Pentru cei care sunt răbdători, va castiga ceva special în puțin timp.(To those who are patient, shall gain something special in little time.)", and her words alone is what makes me feel that my wish is going to come true.
Saturday: April 15, 2005
A full week has past since I first came to the Juvenile Detention Center and now I'm too weak to get myself out of bed. It has rained for nearly three days straight, and then the rumbling of thunder and the struck of lightning would come in at night. The guards, however, didn't seem to care that it was pouring outside, for they would still make us all go outside to get us soaked and perhaps get us sick. Well, if that was their plan, then it had worked.
It turns out the rain has given me a cold, which I caught yesterday, that will soon be two days since I caught it. I'm having trouble sleeping right now, because the thunder and lightning are keeping me awake with their noises and flashes. I should be glad that my sickness is keeping me from starving, though I think Aunt Karla told me it would soon be a bad sign if I don't get any food or medicine into me, especially water. I would've gotten water from the bathroom sink of mine, but it doesn't look clear as good water would look and the guards will come into my room to ask me why I'm still up when I should be sleeping. I would most likely be hit again, and they'll probably not care that I'm sick and too weak to withstand their beating. Besides, I'm already too weak to even stand up straight or to even hold my own without the support of the wall or furniture. Well, I just hope they'll forget about me and let me stay in bed or at least have a change of heart and let me stay in... If I'm very lucky, that is.
Sunday: April 16, 2005
I feel like dying, and my body is burning like a wild fire. Luck hasn't been on my side, for the guards had yanked me out of bed and threw me outside when I kept collapsing to my knees. And to make matters worse, I was sent back to my cell with no food for the whole day because I was 'fighting' with the older teens that would beat me. However, it wasn't because they were picking on me to begin with.
In fact, it all started when they were picking on a thirteen year-old. He was taller than me, but was shorter than the other teens and proves to be a weakling for not standing up for himself or fighting back. Instead, he just sat up against the JDC wall and curled himself into a ball, covering his face with his arms. He also had bruises on his arms, neck, face, and I could tell that one of his ankles is probably sprained from it laying on the ground instead of holding his weight. In my sick-state, I was also on the ground and just letting the rain splash against me while the teasing and beating went on.
"So, Ethy, where's that whore of a mother of yours?" One of the teens asked, kicking the thirteen year-old off the wall and into a mud-puddle beside him. The younger boy slowly pulled himself out of the mud-hole, with some of the mud splattered over his face and shirt, as the rain tried its best to wash away the wet-dirt off of him.
"What's wrong, Ethan? Too scared to admit that your mother left you and actually let the police take you away, or are you just quiet because you know we're right?" I suddenly felt this new warmth building up in my chest, but it was a new kind of fire... And I knew what it was and the first time throughout my life on controlling my angers whenever I would hear another child or teen make fun of me or my circus family, I ignored my father's advice and embraced the new warm feeling that was fueling me with enough energy to get me off the wall and to walk towards the teens.
"Hey, Mal, looks who coming over." I heard the third say to the leader of their group, Mallon, who was pulling the thirteen year-old to his feet and pushing him back to the mud to get his sweats more wet and dirty like his shirt. Mallon, a brown-hair seventeen year-old, turned his attention away from the dark-brown thirteen year-old and stared at me with power-hungry grey-eyes. He smirked at me, who almost seemed impress of me walking up to them instead of them walking up to me.
"Hmph... Well, if it ain't the Circus Freak." He greeted, chuckling at his nickname he and his friends gave to me. I simply glared at him. "So, what do you want, Gypsy?" At first, I was beginning to feel the sudden courage that I received going away. However, his words on insulting the younger teen's mother, had my rage burning even more.
"Leave him alone," I told him. I was so mad when I spoke and when they heard what I just said, it completely startled the teens when they heard me talk in English instead of Romanian. The thirteen year-old on the ground stared completely shock at me, but I was too busy glaring at the three older-teens in front of me to see the look of gratitude within his greenish-blue eyes. Mallon was the first to recover from his shock, and then smirked at me.
"Well, it seems you do have guts after all, Cursed Gypsy. Not only that, you can actually speak in English." He said, as his two friends got to both side of me and he slowly made his way towards me. "It's a shame that we'll have to stomp all over you again." As the rain continued to fall, so does his steps, as he cracked his knuckles to prepare them to pound into flesh and bones. Even as the other two teens went to grab me, I didn't move from my spot and didn't bother on flinching away from their hands when they made a grab for my arms. I then felt one of them let go of me, who was known as Devlin.
"Hang on, Mal." He told Mallon, as he placed both his hands on my right-arm again. Devlin then looked back at his leader. "He's on fire, man. He's sick to the bone!" I could tell from the tone of Devlin's voice that he was going to treat me like a disease at that moment, and then I'll be picked on again. Mallon narrowed his eyes at me when given the news of his friend's discovery, and then grabbed a fist full of my shirt in his grasp to pull me off my feet.
"Figures, something told me it would've been a matter of time before the Circus Boy gets sick from the rain." He then threw me towards the mud-hole, almost next to the thirteen year-old, and had gotten the right-side of me muddy and scraped. "Come on, guys, lets leave them. Neither are worth our time, anyway." I would've been glad that he left us off that easily, but my rage that has been growing inside of me was very displeased. With no control of myself, I struggled back to my feet, now that the rain is starting to cool my warm-body but making it more weak than before.
"That's it? Is that all, Mallon?!" I called out, gaining a lot of teens and other kids' attention. Devlin and Frank, the third teen of the group, stopped walking and turned their gazes towards me.
"You asking for more, Runt?" Devlin asked, slamming a right-fist into his left. I could feel fear coming from the thirteen year-old behind me, but I ignored those feelings.
"As a matter of fact, yes!" I hollered out, glaring at them. "If Mallon is really that high and mighty, then he should've beaten me like he would always do! But no, he's just proved that he's a coward!" That had gotten Mallon's attention, for he stopped his walking and slowly turned his head to the left to stare at me.
"What did you just say about Mal, Grayson?" Frank asked, starting to panic when he felt Mallon's rage forming within the seventeen year-old.
"You heard me, I just called him a 'coward' because he is!" I continued on, slowly taking a step towards them. "But I'll say this: He's not that much of a coward, than he always been when he picks on those younger than him! In fact, he's more like dirt when he beats those who can't defend themselves or are having trouble controlling their emotions, like myself!" Some of the kids older than me stared completely startled at my words, while other teens slowly backed away as if sensing a fight is going to happen. "I also bet Ethan isn't the only one who isn't living with his parents, because Mallon could also be here in the same condition!" Even from afar distance, I could clearly see Mallon losing his patience and was very close to pummel me. I then smiled at his reaction, watching him cracking his knuckles and slowly coming his way. "Must be hitting a nerve, am I right? What else, you're going to be up a kid who's very ill and that's just plain low than what you just did to Ethan." Once we were both in front of each other, Mallon grabbed for my T-shirt and pulled me off of my feet once again. And during that time, I still didn't care if I was getting sicker from the rain or that I was going to be beat up again. "So, what are you waiting for?" His eyes were on fire, and I could feel his rage burning off of his body like mine and my sickness was. Mallon did raised his right-fist to deliver the punch to me, but he didn't get enough time to give it to me. At that moment, five guards pulled Mallon away from me and then separated us. It was obvious that the guards were watching the whole thing, and must've decided to come in before things get probably too messy. But whatever reason they decided to come in and to stop the fight, I may never know. After they kept Mallon and his friends away in case they would try and get at me, two of the guards grabbed me by both of my arms and pulled me back into the building.
And so, here I am. After the guards threw me back into my 'room' and started up the electricity for the door while I had crawled my way into my bed, I had been laying within the warm comfort of the mattress for the last five hours for the remainder of the day. And because of my rage that had taking control of my entire being and the rain, I grew even more worse than before and was regretting on talking like that to Mallon. Although, I didn't regret standing up for Ethan and I just hope he's alright. Well, there's only way to tell once morning comes and then it'll be breakfast. I'm still too ill and my stomach still feels full instead of empty, but I'm going to have to stomach it up and force some food into me if I want to get any of my energy back in me.
"Damn... Even when he didn't live with you back then, he still has to fight or stand up for himself against those who are threatening the innocents." Green Arrow told Bruce from across the other side of the table, as he held Dinah's left-hand from his right.
"I'm surprise he was able to hold himself through all that, especially in his weakened condition." Flash commented, and soon they allowed J'onn to continue.
Wednesday: April 19, 2005
I've made a friend! After being in the JDC for a week and a half, I finally have somebody who actually likes me and knows exactly how I feel. But that's not even the best part, because the day after I had been forced into my cell, Mallon and his gang actually left me alone. It wasn't just them, but those who had also picked on me also stayed away from me and I actually get to eat my food, though I can only eat a little because of my sickness. Right when I thought it couldn't get any better, I was proven wrong. Ethan Anderson, the teen who I stood up for that rainy day, wanted to sit with me. And at that moment, we both formed a bond, a friendship that actually grew from friends to brother-figures in just three days.
Even though Ethan can't last long in a fight, he actually grew very protective of me and had stayed by my side when we're to be placed outside. I didn't mind him being by my side the whole time, and he didn't seem to care who said I'm not worth being protected or to have around. Today, in another pouring rain, he told me how and why he's been placed in the Juvenile Detention Center, when I asked how a kind guy like him had been placed in such a terrible prison like the JDC.
It turns out he was like me, being forced to leave his family when he had no choice, though his story and past is very different from mine. According to what his mother, Clare Anderson, had told him, his father, Tristan Lane, had left him and Clare the moment Clare told Tristan she was pregnant, saying that he wanted nothing more to do with her or Ethan. And since his mother no longer had any contact with Ethan's father-side of the family and with no living relatives left on her side, she had to take care of Ethan on her own while trying to get a job to provide for the both of them. And during the eleven years of Ethan's life while living in an abandon building, his mother had always placed him first and herself second. Because of that, his mother grew deathly ill and eventually became too weak to even lift a finger off the ground that she laid upon. With no choice but to get help, Ethan went off in search for that help and came back seven minutes later, with two ambulance and a stretcher behind him.
After two hours on being checked by the doctors, Ethan was soon reunited with his mother, who was sleeping quiet peacefully and looks much better washed than covered in grease and filth. However, just when he thought things were going to get better, the police had to take him away from his mother while she was still in recovery. He was supposed to be placed at the Orphanage and in foster-care until his mother gets back on her feet and could support the both of them, but ended up at the Juvenile Detention Center when the Orphanage couldn't accept anymore children...
It was just like how I was rejected when Lieutenant Gordon took me away from my circus family, and it seems to the both of us that history could be repeating itself once more. And so far, Ethan had heard no words of his mother for two years and the guards didn't allow him to call the GCGH or have him visit the hospital during those two years. I then had an idea, and I had a feeling that it would be a perfect one for the both of us once Lieutenant Gordon comes back to pick me up.
Thurseday: April 20, 2005
My plan had worked, and I was able to persuade Lieutenant Gordon to take both me and Ethan to the hospital. The good news was I was finally able to get my friend to meet my Uncle Rick, though he's still in a coma. The bad news, which seems a bit more worse than my uncle, is that Ethan's mother is no longer in the hospital for a year and a half and we've been told that she's living in Gotham somewhere else. The news had definitely crushed Ethan inside, and after staying with my uncle for the remainder of our stay during visiting hours while getting some good food into our stomachs, we soon went back to the JDC and went into our cells without a word spoken to each other.
I have a feeling that there's a reason to why his mother didn't come and take him out of the JDC a year and a half ago, but I don't know that reason could be though. Tomorrow, I'm hoping to talk to Ethan about it and try to make him feel better. After all, he made me feel better by being there for me when I needed somebody who cares, and now it's my time to return the favor.
Sunday: April 23, 2005
My second week in the JDC had passed by yesterday, and I'm now entering the beginning of my third week in Hell. However, this place was sort of slowly growing from being Hell into a building made of cement and punishment. I was able to talk to Ethan about his mother's reason on not taking him away from the JDC and was able to tell him the positive side on what may not had happen if he wasn't here today, though there are many good reasons to what would've happen if his mother did took him after being released from the GCGH and most of the positive side was mostly about me.
Ethan suddenly didn't care about leaving or thinking of escaping the JDC, as long as I'm by his side and will be there for him every step of the way during our days in the JDC. I also feel the same way, though I would hope and pray for my uncle to wake up from his coma soon. I also prayed that if he does wake up, I could try and persuade him to take Ethan with us until we can find his mother. That way, we can still be together and continue on being brothers, and be as far away from the Juvenile Detention Center as possible.
I've been speaking in Romanian on accident lately, but I'm getting Ethan to learn and speak it in case I would accidentally speak my first language without noticing to him. English is still pretty hard to speak in, but I'm slowly beginning to understand it more and had gotten used to speaking it to those who don't understand Romanian.
Mallon and his pals, along with some other bullies, would come at us from time to time. Only, instead of their usual shoving against the wall and pummeling us with their fists and kicking, they would just shove us with their shoulders to make their way and that would be it. But when a bully would want to pick on us, Ethan would put me behind him and then tell them to leave. He would at times get a couple of push and a pinch now and then, but once they get a glare from me or they simply stare down at me, they would leave.
Though there are some good news about that, I'm afraid there are some problems. After being sick for 8 days and having the rain continuing on for 11 days straight, my health condition hasn't been improving than Ethan and I had hoped. And what's worse, we both think I have Pneumonia... I don't know how or why, but I have some of the symptoms that are signs of Pneumonia: Headaches, loss of appetite, clamminess, shortness of breath, low blood pressure, high heart rate, nausea and vomiting, fatigue and aches, high fever, chills, joints in pain, and a couple of more symptoms. Mom and Aunt Karla taught me and John about health, and I'm still glad that I still remember my lessons on health. And at the JDC, we don't get any health check-ups or medicines. The guards just simply let us spread our sickness inside the building or outside the yard, and have other kids or teens to get sick.
Despite those problems, I'm actually happy to still have somebody with me in this Hell. Because with Ethan by my side as my brother-figure, there seems to be nothing on Earth that could separate us. Well, except for us being in separate rooms and the guards not allowing us to share a room together, I'm just glad to have my brother-figure with me most of the day. And hey, maybe when Ethan is eighteen, he might be able to get me out of here and we can continue on staying together. And once Uncle Rick wakes up, he may allow Ethan to stay with us and make him a Grayson. I can't wait for that day to happen, and I don't care if I have to stay in this prison forever for that day to happen.
Nobody in the Meeting Room could think up what to say, even when J'onn had paused for those who would want to speak. Batman and Alfred were completely shocked to have heard that their Little Bird had actually made a friend in one of the worst places to be in Gotham, a brother-figure before Wally and Roy no less. But there was just one thing that got into their minds. Why didn't Dick told them about Ethan? And so, the green martian continued the words of the journal.
Friday: April 28, 2005
Something doesn't feel right, and it was almost that feeling I had on the same day my family were Ki... Gone. I told Ethan about it while we were outside. Today, the clouds had decided to take a break from crying and only stood still in the sky while the wind blew against us. I'm still kind of surprise that the weather was cold instead of warm, since it is Spring and Summer is coming its way soon. Anyway, I told him about the feeling I've been having today and how it was the exact feeling I had when Tony Zucco left after demanding protection money from Mr. Haly. After explaining about this feeling inside of me, Ethan had also convinced that he was having the same feeling as well and it isn't him catching my sickness when he's still as healthy as a horse. I was scared, thinking that this feeling is warning me that I'm going to lose somebody close to me again, and I could tell from Ethan's face that he's feeling the same thing as well.
Instead of finding out what may happen to us, we simply stayed together throughout the rest of the day until we were called back in for dinner. After we ate the food, which I only ate very little because of my illness, we said our goodbye's and went into our cells. Once the door had been electrified, I slowly made my way towards the barred window. The clouds were slowly pulling apart, but many stayed together like glue. Through the parted clouds, I could see some of the stars shining down from above.
"Te rog, nu mă lăsa să pierd un alt aproape de mine.(Please, don't let me lose another close to me.)" I begged to the sky, as I tried to calm my beating heart that was still going fast than its original beating. I placed my right-hand over my chest, which was still aching, as I made my way towards my bed and tried to get some sleep for tomorrow. And so far, I'm having trouble sleeping, as usual. It wasn't the sickness that's keeping me up, but the feeling that won't go away. And when I thought that was weird, I suddenly felt a tear stream its way down my right-cheek. I don't know why I'm crying, or didn't notice that was I starting to, but I didn't care.
Cause it's almost like... Your heaven's trying everything to break me down!
Cause it's almost like... Your heaven's trying everything-
Saturday: April 29, 2005
It's raining again, but there's a reason for the clouds to cry... I'm leaving the Juvenile Detention Center today, but it's not in the way I was hoping it would be. On one part, I wanted to be taken away by my uncle, seeing him awake and happy to see that he has one living relative left and taking Ethan with us. On the second part, I wanted an eighteen year-old Ethan to take me away from this place and continue our lives together as brothers... But no, it was neither of the two options that I wanted. In fact, a third option had been selected for me without getting a chance to choose what I want.
You remember that man who came to me at the funeral, Bruce Wayne? Well, he's here... And has come to take me away from the Juvenile Detention Center, without asking me if I wanted to come and live with him or not. Even though he's very well known in Gotham, being a playboy billionaire and the owner of both Wayne Enterprises and Wayne Tower, I don't know what he's like and don't really trust him. I was even expecting to see him again, because he just came here to see me and then told me the news on making me his ward once we had our 'privacy' in my 'room'. I was completely shocked and speechless from the news, and he didn't even give me a chance to tell him about taking Ethan.
It seems that fate has decided to punish me even more, for not telling Mr. Haly about Zucco before the show started and letting my family fall to their deaths when I could've tried to rescue them. And when Mr. Wayne left to tell the guard at the front desk about me leaving, I fell to my knees and let tears stream down my face. I now figured out what that the feeling Ethan and I had felt yesterday, because somehow our entire being could sense when bad things are going to happen. If only I had found out sooner, then I would've planned a way for Ethan and I to escape the JDC and fled into hiding within the city. But now that it's too late to turn back time and prevent this from happening, I have no choice but to do what I must do and gather my stuff to leave with my new 'guardian'. I never wanted a new guardian though, I wanted my uncle to be the one to take me away from this building. But instead of heading towards the direction of the entrance of the building and gathering whatever energy I have within me, I jogged my way towards Ethan's cell and was lucky to have found him in his cell and not outside. It seems that the arrival of Mr. Wayne is delaying our usual release to go outside, which should probably give us enough time to say our... Goodbyes before I have to leave.
"Ethan..." I whispered, trying my best to stop crying while tightening my grip onto my suitcase with my left-hand. Ethan seems to have known what's going on, for the moment he saw me, he took four strides towards me and pulled me into a bear-hug. I wasted no time to return the embrace and allowed myself to cry against him, which was on his right-thigh since I'm too short and young to cry against his chest.
"It's going to be okay, Dickie." He told me, gently pulling me back a bit so that he could get on his knees and let me lay on his right-shoulder. I only shook my head at his words, as my arms are now wrapped around his neck.
"Dar eu nu vreau să merg, nu fără tine!(But I don't want to go, not without you!)" I cried in Romanian, which caused me to cough for a moment because of my Pneumonia. "Am pierdut deja atât de multe de familia mea, nu vreau să pierd mai!(I've already lost so many of my family, I don't want to lose anymore!)" I didn't care that I was speaking in Romanian, because I knew Ethan is smart enough to know what I was saying thanks to my teaching on how to learn Romanian.
"You're not really losing me, Dick." He said, pulling back to look at my face and gently wiped the tears off my face. "Your just spreading the wings you desperately needed, and are now going to fly away from this Hell-like prison. And what else, you're going to have someone whose going to look after you until your uncle wakes up." His words were a mixture of reassuring, and yet like a knife digging its way towards my heart to open the painful-wounds even more.
"Dar eu vreau să stau cu tine, Ethan!(But I want to stay with you, Ethan!)" I told him, laying my head back on his shoulder.
"No, Dick." He said, sounding a bit firmly and yet gently. "You can't stay here; you don't belong here. Trust me, you mustn't stay here for another second. I've been here for two years and I'm not going to let you throw your chance of freedom away because of me." He then pulled me away from him again, only this time, to reach for something out of his pocket. He then grabbed for both of my hands, and placed the item within my hands. "Something to remember me by, and a promise that we will see each other again someday when I'm no longer in this prison." I opened my hands and stared down at a perfectly wooden-black carving of a raven, with its wings spread. It was so amazing, that the wooden-creature actually looks like a life-size raven if it wasn't so still and feels more hollow than alive with feathers.
"Ethan..." I said, staring back up to the teen who has been my brother-figure for only a week and a half in the JDC. He simply smiled at me and rubbed my hair. I placed the raven in my sweat-pocket and grabbed for my suitcase with my right-hand. We then heard footsteps coming from the hallway, along with some angry voices.
"Richard Grayson, get out here right now!" I winced from the harsh voices that were calling out for me and Ethan, who seems to have sensed my fear, pulled me back for a final hug.
"Du-te, fratele mai mic.(Go, little brother.)" He told me, speaking in perfect Romanian. "Zboara departe de acest iad, Micul Robin... Fii liber... Mica Pasare.(Fly away from this Hell, Little Robin... Be free... Little Bird.)" He then bent down, placed a quick kiss on my forehead, and then let me go before the footsteps had stopped in front of his cell.
"It's time to go, Charity Case." My heart seemed to have clenched when the guard had called me a 'Charity Case,' though I don't know why, and my chest seems to have doubled in pain. I placed my left-hand on my chest, trying to relieve some of the pain as much as possible while my right still held onto my suitcase, as the guard pulled me out of Ethan's room and towards the direction of the entrance of the JDC. As we made our way towards our destination, I caught many glances from the other kids or teens, which were glances of disgust and hatred. I could practically tell what they were thinking or saying in their heads from their eyes.
"See ya, runt."
"Finally, good riddance."
"Astalavista, Weirdo."
"It's been a pleasure knowing you as a punching bag, too bad we won't be missing you."
I tried my best to ignore their words, and kept on moving as much as my feet could carry me before I may collapse from dizziness.
"Here he is, Mr. Wayne." The guard told my new 'guardian,' trying to sound as friendly as he can to Mr. Wayne. Once his grip was off of my shoulder and had backed away from me, Mr. Wayne took two strides towards me and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"You ready, Dick?" He asked, smiling at me. Though I may be a person who likes to smile and see other people smiling, I was starting to not like his smile. I wanted to say 'no,' yell at him for taking me away from this Hell that still has my brother-figure. However, I just simply nodded and slowly followed him out of the building. Parking right outside in the rain and beside the sidewalk, was a black-limo scene and a well-dressed man with an umbrella shielding him from the rain. He looks to be around his fifties, kind of like Mr. Haly is starting his. The elder seems nice, and I can somehow trust him more than Mr. Wayne. When he saw us make our way towards the car, he lifted the umbrella up to cover Mr. Wayne's head and my own from getting anymore wet.
"Is this the Young Master Richard, sir?" He asked Mr. Wayne, sounding and acting like Mr. Wayne owns him.
"Yes, Alfred, this is him." Mr. Wayne told the elder, turning his gaze down at me and simply smiled. "Dick, this is Alfred Pennyworth, my butler." I should've known that this man was his elder, but I somehow have this feeling that Alfred is more than a butler to Mr. Wayne. Alfred then held out his right-hand towards me.
"A pleasure to finally meet you, Master Richard." He greeted to me, still keeping a hold on the umbrella with his left. As to not be rude, I accepted his hand with my own right, and slowly shook hands with him.
"Puteți să-mi spui 'Dick'(You can call me 'Dick')," I told him as politely as I could. I didn't bother on speaking in English, and yet something tells me they both know what I just said. Because of my Pneumonia, my voice makes me sound more tired and his grip on my hand made my muscles ache. The butler seems to noticed something wrong with me, because he was giving me a funny look. He then released my hand and turned to Mr. Wayne, who has also noticed something wrong with me.
"Shall we head back to the Manor, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked Mr. Wayne, opening the back of the limo's door.
"Of course, Alfred." Mr. Wayne told the butler, slowly getting in the car. I wasn't so sure if I should go in at first, but because of my legs shaking from lack of energy and my head gaining a new headache, I slowly went inside and let Alfred close the door behind me. Mr. Wayne sat on the other side of the door, while I stayed next to the door I just went through and slowly we both went into buckling ourselves. I stared at the building that I'd been forced to live in for nearly three weeks, a place that was like Hell itself... But a place where I made a friend, a brother-figure when my cousin and first brother-figure has gone into a peaceful paradise called 'Heaven'. Though I knew it wasn't proper and impolite, I gently placed my left-hand on the window to cover some of the image of the Juvenile Detention Center.
"La revedere, frate.(Goodbye, brother.)" I whispered in Romanian, as the limo scene slowly began to move and the image of the JDC grew smaller when the car gained more speed. My hand slowly glided down the window, though I was being careful as to not leave any hand prints or dirt on the clear-glass, and so did my eyes when I could no longer see the building made of cement and punishment. As Alfred drove us further from the JDC, I suddenly felt something warm on my left-shoulder. I slowly turned my gaze, and saw it was Mr. Wayne who placed his right-hand on my shoulder.
"Totul va fi bine, Dick.(Everything's going to be alright, Dick.)" I was completely startled to hear Mr. Wayne speak in Romanian, since I thought that not many people in Gotham knows how to speak or understand my first language. I really wanted to believe his words that everything will be okay, but that feeling in my stomach was slowly beginning to grow again. And now from this day forward, whenever I have this feeling growing inside of me, I will try and find out what's going to happen and prevent that disaster from coming.
Instead of all thinking about the words on the book, many turned their gaze at the Dark Knight and gave him glares. Alfred was one of those who were giving Bruce the glare, which was surprising for many of the Justice League.
"You told me he had agreed to come live with us, Master Bruce." He said, giving his charge his own Bat-Glare. "Why did you lie to me?"
"I didn't think he wanted to stay there, Alfred." Batman answered, placing a hand on his head and slowly shaking his head. "I thought he would've agreed to come live with me, whether I ask him to or not."
"And you didn't even bother to ask him, when he was still traumatized and trying to heal from losing his family?" Diana asked, also being the ones to give him a glare. "Did he ever tell you about his friend, Ethan?"
"Only once... He hadn't mentioned on having a friend at the Juvenile Detention Center, until the day before he came to live with me for a whole week." He then turned to J'onn. "Please, continue."
Tuesday: May 2, 2005
I feel weird living with Mr. Wayne and Alfred, since I'm staying in a mansion instead of a house like many people of Gotham are. But I guess when you're a billionaire, you have to live in a big fancy-house with large numbers of empty rooms and many expensive stuff.
I still feel uncomfortable about staying here, especially since I didn't know where I was going to be living in. We lived far from Gotham, which was half an hour away from the city, on a hill near a forest and a couple of mountains... Also, near the Cemetery, where my deceased family are at. Those were the three parts that made me feel comfortable: Away from the city, living near nature, and close by my family.
Besides me, Alfred and Mr. Wayne are the only ones living in the Manor. I was sort of hoping they would have at least a pet or two, for I feel more comfortable around animals than humans who I don't know. And speaking of 'who-I-don't-know,' I don't know where Mr. Wayne is right now. I first thought he left for work, until I noticed that his car he would take to work was still here. Not only that, Alfred seems to always take him to work, and yet he's been here the whole time Mr. Wayne went missing, since he's been trying to make me better from Pneumonia. And so far, my health is sort progressing very well. Although I have been vomiting and still have loss of appetite, I'm starting to feel a lot better than I had been at the JDC.
I miss Ethan, I hope he's doing alright. I doubt he is though, because nobody is fine when they're in JDC, especially when it's a Detention Center in Gotham City... I'm now beginning to understand the ways, and the law, of Gotham City: One false move, and you lose everything that you own or love. You may even end up in a place where you don't feel like you belong or want to live in. I can tell that Mr. Wayne is trying to make me feel comfortable on living with him, even though it's been three days since he took me away from the JDC, but there's just something odd about him. About his home, his life-style... Everything, including Alfred. I don't know what or why, but I have this feeling that they're both acting what others believe they are in the outside and are hiding who they truly are in the inside, which has got to be more deeper than the Manor.
Anyway, Mr. Wayne has signed me up to Gotham Middle School. He told me once I'm well enough, I'm going to be taking a test to show me which grade I should be in. However, I already knew which grade that I am in, which is first grade. During my time traveling with the circus, John and I had been home-schooled by our parents and circus family. I don't know why he's speeding me into going to school, especially in my weak condition, but I guess that he doesn't want me to be in my new room anymore when I get better.
For the first three days living with him, I had stayed within the during that time and would only come out it is time to eat. Though my stomach is still rejecting food, I was able to get at least some of it down in me. I didn't want to insult Alfred's cooking, since he went through the trouble on making it for me and Mr. Wayne. I'm just glad that I'm getting the medicine and water I need, in order to fight through my Pneumonia. The main reason I'm still fighting this sickness, is because I feel that my uncle is fighting to wake up from his coma.
Yesterday, Mr. Wayne and Alfred took me to the GCGH to see my uncle. The doctors were glad to have heard and see me finally out of the Juvenile Detention Center. They all hoped that Mr. Wayne was treating me alright, which I also hope that he doesn't treat me like the guards from the JDC. As we reached my uncle's room, the doctors gave word about his condition, which wasn't good news at all. So far, his condition has actually dropped and has to breath with a mask on his face because one of his lungs had collapsed. I grew scared from the information, and was by his side in an instant. Mr. Wayne and Alfred didn't bother to come on in with me, for they simply just stared at me outside of the room, with the door wide open. And through my time with my uncle, I told him what had happened and about me living with Mr. Wayne until he gets better. I then gave him a gentle hug and a kiss on his forehead, right before I had to go back to my new 'guardian' and butler to leave the hospital, which I didn't like since we had only been there for at least ten minutes. I guess they're not the kind of waiting people, like businessmen wanting a quick answer on a deal instead of an hour or a day answer.
I guess when you're the owner of one of the greatest company in the world, you have to always be in a hurry. Even so, I wish they would at least let me stay with my uncle until visiting hours were over. I'm still wondering if Mr. Wayne and Alfred actually care about me, or just taking pity on me for losing my parents. I'm already fed up of everyone taking pity on me, and feeling 'sorry' for losing my parents. If they lost their family, if they had to watch their own family dying in front of them and they're only inches away from each other, then they should come to me and tell me "You're not alone, nor are you the only one suffering... You keep on thinking, 'If only I could've warned them, if only I could've prevented it from happening...' But there's nothing you could've done. There was nothing... Neither of us could've done." If they know how I feel, I want them to tell me, rather than taking pity on a Circus Boy who they believe is completely stupid to not understand or speak English.
Alfred lowered his head in shame.
"If only we had told him sooner, Master Bruce." He said to his charge, as J'onn continued the Journal.
Your heaven's trying everything to break me down!... To break me down!...
To break me down...
Thursday: May 4, 2005
Something strange happened yesterday: Mr. Wa... Bruce, came into my room last night. I was crying, staring at the moon, while its light shining down through the window. I was dressed in my light-blue two piece pajamas, while he was wearing one of his work clothes, like he always do.
"Hei, Dick, cum te simți?(Hey, Dick, how are you feeling?)" He asked in his cheerful voice, though I know he's only using that voice to treat me more of a child. I didn't want him to see my tears, or have him see me more acting like a child than he thought of me. So, I quickly wiped my tears out of my eyes with one of my sleeve pajamas.
"Amendă(Fine)," I whispered. Bruce then sat beside me, which was odd for he would sit a couple of chairs away from me, like I have some sort of disease, even though that I'm still sick, but I am getting a lot better.
"Îmi pare rău că nu am fost în jurul valorii de în ultima vreme. Am uitat cât de singuri acest loc poate fi.(I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I forget how lonely this place can be.)" He said, reaching to get something into his pocket.
"Asta e în regulă(That's okay)," I said. Though I could feel every fiber in my body burning in rage from his apology, I got the calm from my father and the patience from my mother to help hold back my rage.
"Am aflat că voi fi cu timp liber începând de mâine(I found out that I'll be having free time starting tomorrow)," he said. I was very confused, on why he would be telling me this when he obviously doesn't want to spend time with me. He then pulled out to tickets out of his pockets. 'GOTHAM NIGHTS; 5 PM-9PM; BOX SEAT #02; MAY 5, 2005,' was labeled on one of the tickets. "Cum despre mergem prinde un joc? Box locuri?(How about we go catch a game? Box seats?)" I only shook my head, putting on a sad smile.
"Nu, multumesc.(No, thank you.)" I replied. It wasn't that I was trying to be rude to him, it's just that I'm not in the mood to do anything. Besides, I'm not really a big fan on watching people playing sports and more or likely get themselves hurt. Even with my eyes closed and my gaze not on Bruce, I could tell he was rather upset that his attempt to make me happy was failing.
"Știu că trebuie să fie foarte dificil(I know it must be very difficult)," he told me. I then felt an arm placed on my right-shoulder. Deep inside, I felt the barrier holding my sadness and tears breaking down from his words and touch. And so, I snapped.
"Dacă aș fi putut să-l opresc! L-am văzut ieșind din cort! Știam că nu am ce căuta acolo!(If only I could've stopped him! I saw him coming out of the tent! I knew he didn't belong there!)" I cried, before I placed my face into my hands. I then felt the hand sliding off of my shoulder.
"Stiu(I know)," he replied. I then felt him stood up from his spot next to me, and slowly made his way towards the door. At first, I thought he was going to leave me, until he stopped at the door and turned back to face me. "Urmați-mă(Follow me)," he said. When he left, I stayed in my spot for a few more seconds, wondering if I should follow Bruce or stay within my room. I wanted to stay in my room, but he did came in at his own free will. And so, I slowly got out of my spot next to the window and quietly followed Bruce after closing my bedroom door. He didn't get very far, and I was able to catch up to him when he was about to walk down the stairs. Normally, for me, I would've slid down the railing of the stairs, rather than walking down the stairs like a normal person would. However, since he wanted me to follow him and was determine to do so, I walked down the steps behind him. "Tu nu ești singur, și nici nu ești singurul care suferă... Ai tot gândesc, 'Dacă aș putea doar le-am avertizat, numai dacă aș fi putut să o împiedice întâmplă...' Dar nu e nimic ce ar fi putut face. Nu a fost nimic... Nici unul dintre noi ar fi putut face...(You're not alone, nor are you the only one suffering... You keep thinking, 'If only I could've warned them, if only I could've prevented it from happening...' But there's nothing you could've done. There was nothing... Neither of us could've done...)" I practically felt my heart grow cold when he spoke, more to how he said it besides speaking those words. Those were the words that I wanted to hear, somebody who understands what I'm going through and losing those you love. We soon reached the fireplace, and then he stopped in front of the fireplace that held no fire, since it is Spring. I then noticed he was staring up at the big picture over the fireplace, which held a man and a woman standing together and smiling at the picture, with arms wrapped around each other. That was when I noticed on how Bruce almost looks a lot like the man in the picture, as he had the woman's eyes and gentle smile.
"Mama ta și tatăl?(Your mom and dad?)" I asked, earning a firm nod and a sad smile from Bruce. I now found out why this man took me in his care, and it wasn't because of pity. He took me in because he also lost his parents, and by the way he said those words, it sounded like he had to watch them die when he was kid also. My heart banged against my chest again, only it was banging in pain for Bruce. I then lowered my head in shame. "Are durerea merge vreodată la distanță?(Does the hurt ever go away?)" I didn't know why I asked him that sort of question, since I already knew the answer to that. The pain, the hurt, it'll never go away and had implanted itself into my heart until the very day I would draw my last living breath. I then felt the hand coming back on my right-shoulder.
"Aș vrea să pot spune 'da'(I wish I could say 'yes')," he answered. I'm glad he gave me an honest answer instead of a lie, because he seems to know that it'll only make me feel worse than better if he lied. I then lifted my gaze to him, letting him see the tears held within my eyes. "Dar va fi mai bine... Pentru tine... Asta promit...(But it will get better... For you... That I promise...)" I soon felt myself trembling, and then did something that I never thought I would do: Without any thoughts about my actions, I launched myself towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I buried my face into his chest, feeling rather embarrassed of what I just did. Before I could pull back and apologize, I felt strong-arms wrap themselves around me and holding me in place.
The warmth surrounding me makes me think back when my father would hold me when I would get nightmares, when my mom would hug me when I get sick, when my uncle held me when I couldn't find mom or dad, when my aunt would hug me when I'm hurt, when John would hold me when we would sit on one of the platforms of the trapeze, when Mr. Haly and my circus family held me when I was broken from watching my family fall, and when Ethan held me when I needed somebody to be by my side.
I was so lost in my own thoughts, that I didn't realize we were still holding each other until I found out we were now sitting in the chair, with me sitting in Bruce's lap. I could feel one of his hands rubbing my back in soothing circles while his other hand was keeping my head resting on his chest, where I could hear his heartbeat banging against my left-ear.
"Îmi pare rău," I whispered. Bruce simply shook his head, which I felt his movement, and then felt his arms tighten their hold on me.
"E în regulă(It's alright)," he told me. As we stayed within the position on the chair, my mind began to wonder. I was slowly beginning to think on how wrong I thought of Bruce. To be honest, I thought he was just going to use me for publicity and then cast me aside once he has no use of me anymore. But the way he held me, the way he told me on how he understands what I'm going through, it made me feel comfort... A comfort that I never thought I would feel again, right after my family fell and my circus family giving me to Lieutenant Gordon with no free will.
My heart seems to feel a bit better, and it seems to suddenly warm up from the comfort Bruce is giving to me. But the strange part is while about my heart, is that it only warms up when it was a family member or my parents comforting me or sensing that person's love and is returning that love back. My heart's reaction caught me by surprise, because I'm not so sure if it's that possible for me to feel this emotion to somebody who just took me into his home for five days from the Juvenile Detention Center. Maybe it's just that I was feeling so tired and was missing the warmth of somebody holding that made my heart warm up, but something in my head told me I was wrong.
My eyes grew heavy, and felt very tired from having to let loose tears that I cried out last night. I made a move to pull away from Bruce's warmth and head back to my room, but he kept me firmly in his arms.
"Du-te la culcare, Dick.(Go to sleep, Dick.)" He told me, who seems to not care if I slept in his lap while he was still sitting in the chair. I wanted to protest at first, but the comforting warmth of his arms and the heaviness feeling in my eyes were beating me to sleep. As if sensing me trying to fight it, Bruce suddenly started to slowly rock me back and forth, as if I was a baby. "E bine să dormi, Dickie. Nu voi fi supărat pe tine. Nu trebuie să-ți fie frică să meargă la culcare. Voi fi aici dacă ai coșmaruri.(It's okay to sleep, Dickie. I won't be mad at you. You don't have to be afraid to go to sleep. I'll be here if you get nightmares.)" His words were starting to echo through my mind and my vision was starting to go all blurry, which means that I was losing my fight to stay awake. The rocking kept going, the gentle stroking on my hair calming me, and the warmth covering me from the cold night is finally putting me into darkness. Right before I fell asleep, I could've sworn that I heard Bruce making me some sort of a promise, but I couldn't make out the words because of the darkness silencing the sound and Bruce's heartbeat being louder than his words.
When I woke up, it was still nighttime and I noticed three things: One, I'm not at the fireplace anymore. Two, I'm in another room instead of my own room. And three, I was still within Bruce's arms and laying next to his sleeping form. According to my analysis about my surrounds, I must've been in his room. I guess while I was sleeping, he took me to bed with him instead of having to drop me back to my own room. His bed was much bigger than mine, though a lot of beds are bigger to me because I'm short for my age.
Being as quiet as I could and without having to wake Bruce up, I slowly slid out of his arms. Once I was out of the secureness of his hold, I silently hopped off his bed and made my way towards the door. Right before I turned the door knob, I had to sneak a look to Bruce. I'm actually surprise to see him sleeping in bed, since I would usually see him awake and ready to go to work. It actually makes me happy to see him here and sleeping, and a bit surprise to see him relaxing and letting his guard down. I simply smiled, and felt my heart warm up once more. The way it's behaving right now still confuses me, but it's certainly making me feel a bit better. And so, I quietly opened the door and closed it behind me, as I made my way back to my room to watch more of the moon before it and the stars would have to leave and be replace by the clouds and hidden sun.
That part seems to have completely surprise many of the Justice League, but it seems to startle Batman when Dick had explained what his heart was doing. And according to his suggestion and the feeling in his stone cold heart, it probably must've been the first time the boy had actually accepted or sees him as his second father at that moment. J'onn could sense the Dark Knight's emotion of love and pain surrounding him from the thoughts of Dick.
'It seems that the boy has changed him sooner than we all had expected...' He thought to himself, and continued on reading.
Friday: May 5, 2005
Yesterday had been a big surprise, and perhaps one of the greatest time I had since I've been forced to live in Gotham. Well, most of the day had been great until the day was nearing its end.
When morning came, the sun was finally allowed to come out but half of the clouds stayed in the sky. It didn't matter though, because the sun is finally out and that's all that matters. Then, when I finally came out of my room, still in my pajamas, I was surprise to have Bruce surprise me into a tight embrace. I probably had scared him when he woke up to find me gone, so I returned the embrace. He didn't let me go when we finished our little hug-fest, and carried me down the stairs towards the kitchen. Alfred was making breakfast, as usual, wearing an apron and cooking different kind of food in different pans on the stove. From the smell of it, he was making pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage. We actually ate together that morning, and it actually felt nice to eat together than eating alone at the big table.
After eating and getting ready for the day, Bruce did something that I never thought he would do: Instead of his usual going to work or taking off to wherever he goes when he doesn't have work, he actually kept his word on not having work and took me to the Gotham Zoo. That place had a lot more animals than the Haly's Circus, but it's not like the circus. The Zoo Keepers keep them locked in cages or placed fences around their dens to keep zoo visitors from petting them or the animals attacking the citizens. Otherwise, it was fun. During our walk around the place, Bruce had kept a close eye on me and made sure that I was always by his side. I also did the same, since there are a lot of strangers that I don't know and being in the JDC for three weeks had made me antisocial and very shy around others.
When we reached the bird area, I was very fascinated on variety of birds they have. Bruce actually smiled when he saw my look of surprise on my face, as I watch the different kinds of birds flying over us and landing into the trees. Seeing that they could have almost all the kind of birds from the entire world, my Cerulean/Sapphire-eyes scanned for a specific bird that really wanted to see. Bruce noticed me looking for something and had offered to help me find it, but I declined his offer to help. I had to find the bird on my own, and being a Flying Grayson means you can look beyond those who never soared through the air like a bird. So far, I saw a Cockatoo, three Parrots, two Barn Owls, six red-hawks, and a couple of other birds. However, there was no sign of the bird I was trying to find. My hope felt going small, and I lowered my head a bit down. Just as I turned towards the exit with Bruce...
"Chirp, chirp, chirp!" I stopped when I heard the sound of chirping, and turned my head towards the direction of the call. I then smiled when I saw the bird I was looking for, and Bruce also turned to see what had gotten me to smile: There, up in a tree, was an American Robin. It was looking straight at me, chirping as if it knew who I am to it. Its feathers flashing brightly from the lights shining from above, with its chest looking between a red-maroon and a peachy-orange. Bruce also saw the bird and turned back to me, giving me a questioning look.
"Robin?(The Robin?)" He asked, which I nodded.
"Eu doar le-am văzut în cărți, dar niciodată în viața reală.(I only seen them in books, but never in actual life.)" I explained, raising my left-hand out towards the bird that was sitting from above. The small bird cocked its head to the left, and then to the right. It was either wondering what I was doing, or what I want it to do. I know that birds who had been raised by humans would come to their master until they're to be released into the wild or need to be put in retirement, but I wanted to see what the robin would do on its own free will, even when it lives in a zoo. Before Bruce could say something to me, which I knew it was that the bird won't come, a surprise happen: The robin flew down from its branch, and landed into my outstretched hand. I smiled at the small-bird, as I stared into its little-blue eyes, which stared directly back at me. And then, as if greeting an old friend or family member, it rubbed its head against a few of my fingers. Bruce was completely shocked when he had watched the bird come to me, especially when we had never known each other and that I never seen an actual American Robin in my whole life.
"A venit la tine(It came to you)," he stated. I simply nodded my head, as I gently stroke its head with my right, earning a few chirps from the small-bird. The feathers were soft and warm against my skin, that it actually calmed and soothed my worried mind. However, the presence of the robin brought back a time when I used to be one like it.
"Înapoi, atunci când mama mea obișnuia să fie în viață, ea ar spune-mi-o 'Mica Robin'.(Back when my mom used to be alive, she would call me her 'Little Robin'.)" I told Bruce, as I lifted my right-hand back into the air. I really wanted the robin to stay with me or at least take it out to let it go, but I have a feeling that I'll be in big trouble if I do that. After all, the bird is owned by the Gotham Zoo... And for some reason, I have this small feeling that I'm being owned by Bruce myself. The robin gave me a few more chirps, before spreading its silver-like wings and flying back to its tree.
"Serios?(Really?)"
"Da... Ea mi-a spus, chiar înainte de a ne-am dus pe pentru a efectua, că ori de câte ori ea ma vede pe trapez, mi-ar face-o un pic gândi Robin.(Yeah... She told me, right before we went on to perform, that whenever she sees me on the trapeze, I would make her think of a little robin.)" Though it may sound girly that my mom would call me a name that would get kids my age beaten up if they heard the nickname, I think that name makes me very special, besides the fact that I really love birds. Bruce seemed happy of me to tell him that and placed an arm around my shoulders, leading me out of the bird area and to another part of the zoo. Wish we had stayed longer, because without warning or knowing, a couple of photographers took a couple of shots at us by surprise and that's when we had to leave before the paparazzi would show up.
After leaving the Gotham Zoo, we then went to the Old Spaghetti Factory for lunch. Though I had already eaten Italian Food, this restaurant has got to be one of the best places to get the best spaghetti in the city, possibly the state. The waitress was very nice and cheerful when she greeted us and took our orders, though she seems to be acting rather strange when she's around Bruce and placing our appetizers on the table. It was most likely one of his playboy charms, and that he's filthy rich. As long as she's not a photographer or a paparazzi, then I'm alright with her being near Bruce, though I don't like how she keeps flirting with him constantly and coming over to our table after taking our orders to the chef.
I was planning on going to the manager or the other workers of the restaurant and tell them that one of their workers were slacking off, but I could tell it would be best not to. First off, she looks to be in her teen-year, like Ethan. Second, she looks rather tired and exhausted. Besides, she only looks as though she just wants to talk to him and wasn't really hitting him like other girls would do. So, I just let them talk while I drew on the paper and crayons she gave me earlier. I felt odd for some reason as I was drawing, and my hand almost seems to be working on its own. By the time the waitress left to check on our food, I actually finished my drawing... And it completely startled me on what I just drew: There was a little robin, with its head down and small droplets of tears streaming down its face, as it stood over a body of an adult robin. Both were on the ground instead of in a tree, and the adult robin was lying on its back. Both of the birds have scars on their bodies and their wings looked broken, with the little robin folding one of its wing in an odd angle and the adult bird having both of its wings spread out on the ground. There was also blood forming underneath the adult robin's body, with some blood dripping or forming underneath the little robin. I quickly turned my drawing over, for I didn't want Bruce to see what I just drew and was lucky that the waitress came back with our lunch. Just before she left us to eat, she said something to Bruce that sounded like "Your son needs to put on more weight."
Lunch felt awkward and I was only able to eat half a bread-stick and some of my spaghetti, while Bruce had finished two bread-sticks and half of his Italian Food. So, we had the rest of our food in boxes and soon left when Bruce paid for our lunch. I took the drawing with us, but I folded it up and hid it underneath my shirt. The drawing now makes me think of my uncle, who I haven't heard from the doctors lately. I then clenched my left-hand around the robin and wolf pendant on my necklace.
"Ești bine, Dick?(You alright, Dick?)" Bruce asked me, as he kept his gaze on the road through the window of his car. I must've been too quiet in the car for him to be asking me that, or maybe he just took a quick glance at me to see me grabbing for my necklace around my neck.
"I'm fine," I told him. He seemed to have left it like that at first, until he suddenly slammed on his breaks. I felt gravity pulling me towards the airbag in front of me, but my seatbelt kept me to my seat and it was a good thing that Bruce got control of the car and parked on the side of a sidewalk in front of a shop with other cars parking near the sidewalk also. I felt my heart slowing down after the that little excitement, and was able to regain my breath. Our lunch from the boxes were also alright, since they were sitting beside me and had the seat belt over them like me. I then turned to Bruce, who seemed to have also caught his breath and was staring completely wide-eyes at me. I didn't know what I did to make him stare at me like that, because all I did was answered him... That was when I realized it wasn't what I did, but it was what I just said to him.
"Wh... What did you just say?" Yep, my hunch was correct. And so, I spoke again.
"I said, 'I'm fine.'" He was clearly surprised on what I just said, especially that I didn't answer in Romanian.
"You... You can speak English?" That time, I felt really offended, like he thought that I shouldn't be able to understand him in English or to speak that language.
"Yeah," I replied. "I had been for four years, but I'm still learning." Bruce now looked confused, but I'm glad that his eyes were no longer looking as if they're going to pop out of his skull.
"If you could speak in English, why didn't you tell me?" I just gave him a blank look.
"I thought you knew, since I had been traveling around the world and performing in different parts of the Continents. I thought that should be enough to let you know that I had been learning different kinds of languages, and felt like I shouldn't need to tell... Although, I was sort of planning on telling you when you first took me in, but you were speaking in my language before I could tell you so myself." I then saw Bruce blush, which was quiet a surprise since he seems like a person who doesn't get embarrassed that easily. "Besides, I've only been speaking English when I used to be at the JDC with Ethan." The blush quickly left his face.
"Ethan? Who is he?" I turned my gaze away from his navy-blue eyes, now feeling upset and missing my brother-figure back at hell.
"He's a friend I made at the JDC," I answered. "We both sort of had a connection, and we became friends after I stood up for him from bullies." I then felt a hand being placed on my left-shoulder.
"Ethan sounds like a great friend to have," he told me. I only nodded in an agreement, and then felt Bruce starting the car to continue driving.
We basically went back to Wayne Manor, and stayed the rest of our day there. It was nice, since we all ate together like we did this morning. And after that, we went and watched a movie called, 'Eight Below'. It was a great movie and even though they didn't actually died, the movie was based on a true story and it's also sad that two of the dogs died while waiting for their master to comeback for them and trying to survive on their own. I fell asleep right when the movie was ending, and then felt myself being lifted up before darkness took over.
Then, early in the morning like last night, I found myself once again in Bruce's room. I was confused on why I'm sleeping with him again, because I don't recall on coming into his room or having him comforting me from having a nightmare, only that I fell asleep when the movie ended and that was it. Still, it was nice to have somebody with me instead of being alone in the dark. I made a move to leave his room again, like I did last night, but it seems he's going to make sure that I'm still in bed when he wakes up. Because instead of me having to slide out of his hold, Bruce kept a firm grip onto my light-blue pajamas and then unconsciously pulled me closer to him like I was his stuff bear he wants to cuddle with. Now, I'm trapped within his hold and knew he will most likely not let me go until he wakes up or I wake him up from his sleep. Mom and dad always told me to never wake somebody up unless it was an emergency, and I have no emergencies that gives me the right to wake Bruce up. Besides, he may have work today and he would need all the sleep he could get. So, I just stayed within his hold and wait for sleep to take me back. However, for some reason, something has been bothering me that is preventing me to fall back to sleep. The feeling in my stomach came back, and it was starting to make my stomach ache. I curled into a ball, as I placed both my hands underneath Bruce's to hold my stomach. I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold back my groans and to not wake up Bruce.
'Stay calm,' I thought to myself. 'Just stay calm, and it'll go away.' So far, my methods weren't working and my stomach gotten worse. Just when I thought the pain was going to split my guts open, it just stopped all of a sudden and completely vanished, as if it never was hurting me. I quit biting my lip, which held a couple of bite-marks on the skin but no signs of blood anywhere. I then let loose a big sigh, glad that the pain was finally gone. However, I knew in the back of my mind, that it wouldn't be the last time I would feel the pain in my stomach and that the ache was trying to warn me. I already knew what, and I just hoped that my hunch wouldn't be correct. And so, I tried to push that thought aside and try to go back to sleep with Bruce until the sun or its light awakens us.
Alfred offered his charge a smile from hearing how he had spend time with Dick and placing a hand on Batman's right-shoulder when he watch the Dark Knight lowering his head.
"That day was one of the greatest miracle he presented to me, Alfred... But I never knew he drew that sort of drawing, or that he was still in pain." He whispered to the butler so that only the elder could hear, but knew very well that Superman could still him.
"I know, sir. I, too, didn't see the drawing, even when I took his clothes away that night." Alfred replied, noticing Bruce clenching both his hands into fists.
"But that was before he received that dreadful call the next day, and turned made his life into a more darker Hell." The butler knew very well what he means, and deep down, he has a feeling that the next part the green martian was going to read to us was going to be about that day Dick got the call that nearly took his very life and soul.
Saturday: May 6, 2005
I can't believe it... I didn't want to believe the doctor's words... I wasn't expecting to receive that call... But it happened, and I went over there to see so myself... I was devastated, and I felt whatever hope left for me shattered and last remains of my soul being pulled into the darkest abyss. I wasn't expecting to get a call from the doctors, because I went to the hospital yesterday to visit my uncle.
Before I went to the hospital, I was at the cemetery and visiting my deceased family. On each of their deathbeds, I placed red-roses that I took from Bruce's garden. Odd but sweet, he had kept his mother's garden alive for years and the flowers seems to hold life to the Manor, even though they're hidden behind the right-side of the mansion. I also brought some roses for Thomas and Martha Wayne, Bruce's parents. I didn't tell Alfred or Bruce that was I was going to the cemetery, since Bruce had work today and Alfred left to get groceries. And with nothing to do at the Manor, I decided to use that opportunity to spend time with my deceased family and visit Bruce's parents. I stayed with them for half the day, right around noon, until I felt something very odd when the wind suddenly blew against me without warning. I shivered from its harsh cold, and slowly made my way back to the Manor.
Once inside, I heard one of the phones ringing in the kitchen and a few other phones echoing throughout the Manor. I'm still nervous living in Wayne Manor and had been told, by Bruce and Alfred, to never answer the phones unless they're with me. So, I just let the phones ring and let the machine take the message. Right when I was heading towards the stairs, the person's voice on the answering machine made me stop.
"Mr. Wayne, this is Dr. Marcus, from the Gotham City General Hospital." I immediately ran to the kitchen and hopped onto the kitchen counter, sitting next to the phone. "If either you or Richard are there or get this message, please call me back. We have news on Richard's uncle's condition." Knowing that I may get punished, I snatched the phone off of the answering machine and pressed the 'On' button.
"Hello?" I answered, causing the voicemail to stop on the answering machine.
"Richard Grayson?" Dr. Marcus asked on the other line.
"Yes?" I replied, feeling a bit nervous on what he's going to tell me about my Uncle Rick.
"This is Dr. Marcus. Can you please come to the hospital today?" I tightened my grip onto the phone with both my hands. If Bruce or Alfred were with me right now, then I would be able to get over there in at least twenty minutes. However, since both of them are gone, I'll most likely be walking over there.
"Okay... Can I be there by myself?" The doctor didn't answer me immediately, which means he could either be wondering why I had asked if I could come alone, or that he could be asking the other doctors if it were alright.
"You may, since this news does involves about your uncle. Get to the hospital as soon as you can, alright?" I smiled in gratitude from his words.
"Alright, I'll be there soon." I said, and hung the phone to leave the Manor sooner than later. However, just when I was heading to the door, something in the back of my mind told me to bring the picture I drew at the restaurant and show it to my uncle. Before we had dinner, I hid the picture in the drawer beside my bed, which is being hidden underneath a couple of books my cousin and I would read while traveling to our next destination to perform. I was hoping to never see the drawing or bring it out, but something in my head told me to keep it in a safe place and bring it out until it was time. And to the feeling in my head, it was that time. So, I went into my room, pulled my books off of my drawing, pulled the paper from the bottom of my drawer, placed my book back inside before closing my drawer, and left the house after closing my bedroom door to get to the hospital.
It seemed like forever, but had only took an hour and ten minutes to get there by foot and only forty minutes to just get into Gotham City. During my walk, I had folded and placed my drawing in one of my sweater's pockets. I didn't take a train or bus and had worn a black hoodie over my head, because I'm pretty certain that the Paparazzi would try and get me the moment they see my face before I get the chance to reach the hospital. Besides, I didn't feel like sitting around and riding a vehicle. As an acrobat and a Flying Grayson, we always want to be on the move and would have trouble sitting around to wait if it takes too long. I at times wonder why Bruce wants to live far away from Gotham, but I'm actually glad he does live far away from the city.
Once I was inside the GCGH, Dr. Marcus greeted me from the front desk and I gave him a tiring smile.
"Glad you can finally make it, Richard." Dr. Marcus said, placing an arm on my back and slowly guiding me towards an elevator. "It must've been difficult, and very tiring to get to the city and here by foot." It seems that I couldn't hide anything from the doctor, for he gave me a quick wink and then guided me to my uncle's room once the elevator took us to Floor 8. I was very nervous and scared on what Dr. Marcus was going to tell me.
"What's wrong with Uncle Rick? Is he going to be alright?" I asked, slowly tightening my hands into fists and trembling when I tried to stay calm and keep my cool. Dr. Marcus only gave me a gentle pat on the back.
"We're doing everything we can for him, Richard." He answered, stopping in front of the door-room #056.
"But what is it that you need to tell me about his health?" That time, he gave me a sad smile.
"Sorry, pal, but I'm afraid this news will be for only Bruce to hear." He explained to me, while opening the door to show me my comatose uncle. "In the meantime, why don't you stay with him? I'll have somebody send you some lunch, and I'll let you know when Mr. Wayne comes by. Okay?" I knew that there's something wrong with my uncle, and think I wouldn't be able to handle the truth if they told me. So, I just nodded my head and slowly made my way to my uncle's sleeping form. Even at a far distance, I could tell that he was a bit more paler than the last time I saw him. I could also see he's losing some weight, and is being feed through a tube. I pulled the chair next to the bed closer, and pulled down my hood to get a better look at my sleeping uncle. I smiled sadly at his figure and placed both my hands in my sweater, feeling the folded paper in my left-pocket.
"Hei, unchiule Rick.(Hey, Uncle Rick.)" I greeted, smiling as big as I could to try and sound alright to him, even when he can't see me but can at least hear me. "Îmi pare rău că nu am fost aici ultima vreme, Bruce și cu mine am fost încercarea de a obligațiuni în ultimele zile.(Sorry that I haven't been here lately, Bruce and I were trying to bond these last few days.)" I then placed my right-hand over my uncle's right, which had a needle taped underneath his skin that's giving him fluids. "Mi-ai lipsit... Deci, foarte mult...(I missed you... So very much...)"
My left slowly curled around the folded drawing, and pulled it out of my pocket. "Unchiule Rick, nu e ceva ce trebuie să-ți arăt.(Uncle Rick, there's something I need to show you.)" Once the folded paper was out, I slowly began to unfold it. "La un restaurant, numit Old Spaghetti Factory, am desenat o imagine.(At a restaurant, called the Old Spaghetti Factory, I drew a picture.)" Soon, after unfolding it four times, the picture was now in viewed as the two robins but with lines that showed the squares on how many times I folded it. "Am desenat doi Robins, un adult și un copil ... Ambele sunt speriat și pe pământ, cu pasărea adultă culcat pe spate, cu răspândirea ei aripi... Copilul a stat peste corpul său, știind că Robin adult este mort.(I drew two robins, an adult and a baby... Both are scarred and on the ground, with the adult bird lying on its back with its wings spread... The baby stood over its body, knowing that the adult robin is dead.)"
I then stood from my spot, feeling fear coursing through my body. "Unchiule, am văzut o reală Robin la grădina zoologică ieri și a fost atât de frumos... Acum știu de ce mama mi-a poreclit ca ei 'Micul Robin'...(Uncle, I saw an actual robin at the zoo yesterday and it was so beautiful... I now know why my mother nicknamed me as her 'Little Robin'...)" I then smiled sadly when I thought about that little bird. "Am fost, de asemenea, posibilitatea de a obține Robin să vină la mine, fără să vină să-l...(I was also able to get the robin to come to me, without coming to it...)" A tear suddenly glided down my cheek. "Nu știu de ce, dar asta mă face să mă gândesc robin de tine... Cum ar fi, ești ca Robin-am văzut la Zoo Gotham.(I don't know why, but that robin makes me think of you... Like, you're that robin I saw at the Gotham Zoo.)"
My hands began to tremble, as a few more tears streamed down my face. "Unchiule Rick, dacă ai fost ca Robin la zoo... Este că semnul tău mi-a spus că ești... Ești pe moarte, și sunt prea mă părăsesc?(Uncle Rick, if you were that robin at the zoo... Is that your sign telling me that you're... You're dying, and are leaving me too?)" That is my greatest fear at that moment, losing my last blood-relative and to live alone for the rest of my live. But I knew, deep down in my heart and soul, that he needs to do it. "Dacă sunt, atunci ar trebui să meargă... Fi liber de această durere, și să fie reunit cu familia noastră în Rai... Nu meriți să sufere soarta niciodată să se simtă, sau puteți merge pe propriile picioare din nou...(If you are, then you should go... Be free from this pain, and be reunited with our family in Heaven... You don't deserve to suffer the fate to never feel, or walk on your own feet again...)" I then bent my head into his chest, listening to his heart beating in an odd rhythm rather than a machine. "Va fi bine, promit. Doar știind că familia mea este împreună și sunt în așteptare pentru mine să li se alăture într-o zi, voi avea nici un regret care trăiesc în această lume crudă...(It'll be okay, I promise. Just knowing that my family is together and are waiting for me to join them someday, I'll have no regrets living in this cruel world...)"
I didn't bother to wipe my tears, for they only glide down my face and will be absorb into the fabric of the white-blanket over my uncle. I didn't bother to lift my head off of him, for hearing the beating of a family member's heart is what always calms me whenever I'm distressed or distraught. I didn't bother to greet whoever came into the room, even when a hand has been placed on my back and is trying to pull me away from my uncle.
"Richard..." It was Bruce's voice, which meant he was the one who has his hand on my back and is trying to take me away from my relative. "It's time to go, son." I cringed from him calling me 'son,' for only my mother and father were the only ones who can call me 'son'. I didn't want to leave him, feeling the pain in my stomach coming back, warning me something bad is going to happen.
"Nu pot să-l las(I can't leave him)," I told him. Before I knew it, I was being lifted into somebody's arms and my arms automatically wrapped themselves around Bruce's neck, with my face buried into his shoulder and leaving stains on his dark-brown coat.
"I'm sorry, Dickie." He apologized, slowly leading us towards the door to leave my uncle and out of the hospital. My eyes gazed back at my uncle, staying still as the day I first saw him in the GCGH.
"La revedere, unchiule Richard...(Goodbye, Uncle Richard...)" I whispered out to him, as I felt sleep slowly trying to pull me into darkness. I didn't want to go to sleep, not when this pain in my stomach kept on crushing me and my heart aching to be by my uncle's side. Sadly, sleep was already winning and had no choice but to close my eyes. Right before Dr. Marcus closed the door when he went inside the room and sleep finally consumed me, I stared at my drawing still laid on Uncle Rick's bed and tightened my grip onto the material of Bruce's coat. 'Te rog, nu veni adevărat...(Please, don't come true...)'
When I woke up, it was three in the next morning, and was in my own bedroom this time. I guess Bruce thinks I would want my own space once I wake up from my sleep, which I'm very grateful for and really need it. Now that I'm awake, my stomach once again began to hurt. The fire of the pain grew, keeping me up and making me feel like I'm going to be sick again. However, it completely vanished the moment it started. I grew very nervous when I felt the pain had vanished, knowing that after it vanishes that quickly it means the danger is gone and the bad news has finished and passed. My mouth felt dry, and the need to get water got me to get out of bed and head towards the door. The hallways are dark and quiet, which signals me that Alfred and Bruce are most likely asleep and need to be a quiet as I could.
And so, after sliding down the railing and climbing up the kitchen counter, I soon had my glass of water in my hands and was now making my way back to my room. Just when I was closing in to my room door, the sound of a phone ringing caught my hearing and made me stop from continuing on down the hallway. The phone had gain my curiosity, making wonder on who would be calling in the middle of the morning and when many people are still sleeping. The annoying ringing kept going and echoing through the Manor, which could wake Bruce and Alfred from their sleeps. So, without thinking on who could be calling, I picked up the phone and pushed the 'On' button with my right-hand while holding onto the glass with my left.
"Hello?" I answered, bringing the glass towards me and getting some sips of water.
"Richard?" I put down my glass when I heard the voice who said my name.
"Dr. Marcus?" I heard silenced on the other line for only a few seconds.
"Richard... There's something I need to tell you, about your uncle." I could hear regret in his voice, which means it was going to be bad news. I really hoped that it wasn't what I hope didn't come true. "You see, yesterday morning, we were examining him and found out that his condition has worsened. We also found that his spleen has been torn, and we don't have the material or a donor to help us repair it... I also regret to inform you, that the damage to his brain from the impact of the fall was too extensive... He's brain dead." The hand that was holding the glass of water began to tremble, and my breathing grew short. "So, because of those results, we had no other options or way to save your uncle, even if we were able to take him to one of Wayne's best hospitals." My teeth clench to each other and felt tears forming within them. "I'm very sorry to tell you this and thus we've done everything we could to help your uncle, but I'm afraid that I must to tell you the terrible news... Your uncle, Richard Grayson, has passed away yesterday at 8:30 PM... I'm so sorry, Richard..." I didn't bother on replying back to Dr. Marcus, and my eyes only stared at the wall in front of me. I suddenly lost hold on my glass, and didn't bother to make a move on catching it.
*Crash* Water and glass now splattered on the floor, with some shards from the glass embedding themselves into my left-foot and drawing small droplets of blood.
"Richard? Are you still there?" I thought Dr. Marcus would've hung up after giving me the news, but he must've decided to stay on when he heard nothing but the glass shattering onto the floor. "Richard?" I knew that I needed to reply back, or else I could worry him even more and may even have an ambulance to come to the Manor.
"I'm still here," I replied. "Thank you for telling me... Did he passed on peacefully?" I heard a low sigh.
"He did, we pulled the plug before anything else could happen to cause him to be in anymore pain." That was all I needed to hear.
"Thank you, Dr. Marcus... For telling me this, and for ending his suffering painlessly."
"No problem, Richard... Are you going to be alright?" I already knew he would be asking me that.
"I'll be fine," I said.
"Alright... Richard, I'm very sorry about your uncle... Would you like to come see him someday today?"
"Please, Dr. Marcus."
"Very well... Have a goodnight, if you can, Richard."
"Thank you, Doctor, you too." I then placed the phone back on the answering machine after pressing the 'Off' button, knowing that Dr. Marcus has also hung up. I lowered my head and closed my eyes, letting the tears to spill down my cheeks and onto the floor to mix with the stained rug and pieces of glass. It took me a while for me to finally notice my foot bleeding and my cup has broken into pieces. So, without a care on further injuring myself, I bent down and began to scoop the pieces into my left-hand and using my right to push or place the pieces into my palm. I counted at least thirty-seven pieces that the cup has broken into, but I knew Bruce has more than thirty-seven cups to replace this one. I then went back downstairs to the kitchen and dropped the pieces into the trashcan. I then went into a cabinet to get a small towel and wrapped it tightly around my foot. Blood seeped through the fabric, but I knew it'll soon clot and will heal in time. The only thing that won't heal are my mind, my heart, and soul. I now have this feeling that Bruce knew that he was going to die when Dr. Marcus was talking to him, and decided to either tell me or have the doctor tell me when I would wake up.
I now fear on what I would have to tell Mr. Haly and the circus about Uncle Rick's death when they would comeback to Gotham, or when I would send them a letter. If my hunches are correct, his death will soon be all over the news and the reporters will probably try to get me to tell them how I feel... But I don't want to talk, not anymore. I don't feel like seeing, hearing, or feeling anything anymore. I don't feel like doing anything, which also includes... I don't want to live anymore and wish to just die and be with my family. However, I have to for my deceased family, for I made a promise that I will keep living on for their sakes... Even if it kills me from the inside, I'll keep on living until the day I can no longer keep living.
Your heavens trying everything-
Your heavens trying everything to break me... Down...
J'onn gently placed a bookmark to the next part of the boy's journal, and gently closed it. He had his red-eyes closed and his head bowed, as he felt everyone's negative emotions spreading throughout the room. However, that wasn't the reason why he stopped reading it or had closed the small book. No, it was because he was sensing Worry and Fear from outside of the Meeting Room.
"Something isn't right," he said. Before anyone could ask the green martian, the doors were pushed open and a gush of yellow and red wind came into the room. When the wind stopped, it was shown that it was Kid Flash that came into the room and his face held fear and horror.
"We need help... It's Dick..." He panted out, which was a big surprise to see a Speedster panting from running. After being given the small information, both Batman and J'onn leap out of their seats and followed the younger Speedster towards the direction of the Medical Bay, where the rest of the team and Roy were trying to bring Dick back to life when his heart had once again stopped without warning.
TBC
It was suppose to be a one-shot, but I decided to make this sort of a story.
Also, I watched Batman: Under the Red Hood: Have to say, very disappointed on the ending. Though it seemed sweet to see Jason actually happy when he became Robin, but wasn't satisfied that they would have a happy past be placed after a horrible battle. I wonder where Jason went?... Hey must've vanished when the building exploded. But anyway, I'm planning on making a story from the movie, only I'm going to be using Dick.
R&R