Notes: There are quite a bit of flash backs, so I tried to notify when I flash back is about the appear.
Disclaimer : I do not own hellsing.
Chapter 6: Memories reflected within the broken past.
Integra reveals an hidden affair within the Hellsing family. Hate, Regret, love and vengence spin within a broken past.
"Inti-chan!, Inti-chan wake up! Waaaake upppp!" two very soft childish voices spoken together harmoniously. A very young Integra slowly stretches her eyes open, but the vision was still too blurry for her, so she rubbed blue eyes with her small hands as the blurriness diminishes, four blue eyes peered down at her. Twin girls stare back at Integra, their long curly blonde hair cascade down on Integra's temples and cheeks, their smile beaming on their face as their small child-like hands poked Integra's forehead.
"Hmm.." Yawn Integra, her eyed now fully widen, and Integra rolled to her side and proceed to shut her eyes again to continue her interrupted slumber.
"Come on Integra, It's snowing out! " said one of the Girls, who pulls Integra off the bed to her feet. Integra eyes open again, she yawn as she stretching her skinny little limbs. Her face was droopy like, her posture was lazy but she slowly regains her full awakening self.
"It's snowing , Let's play!" said the other twin as she rose to her feet from the bed. Both the twin girls stand above Integra by 2 feet, Integra's eyes beamed with shock and surprise as she ran to the window sill and looked out, her mouth curved into wide smile. The entire mansion was covered by a white blanket of snow. Integra watches as some of the maids and butler shuffle along the great white snow covered manor.
"Inti-chan, come on!" whine the two girls who now stand at the doorway waiting for her. Integra runs toward them with a smile as wide as her face and both girls hold Integra hand as they headed down the stairway and tip-toe past the busy maids and out the open door and into the snowy yard. Integra rub her bare feet on the cold ground, while Angelina laid back to make a snow Angel. Orianna leans down to combs up snow to make a snowball and as she was about to throw it but suddenly she hid it behind herself by the startled presence of a male figure in the door way of the manor.
"You three! Hurry back inside you're not wearing the proper attire for this type of weather. Hurry back before you catch a terrible cold" Arthur stormed through the door with his pipe in his hand. Integra frowned and started to whimper, Angelina takes notice and just before Integra could get the first cry in, Angelina grabs the snowball for Orianna and tosses it right into Arthurs face.
"Uncle is a baka!bleeeh" Angelina sticks her tongue out mocking him.
"Uncle is baka!" replied Orianna and she tosses another snow ball at him.
"Why you little…"Arthur steamed but suddenly stops and sighed deeply. To argue with children is pretty pointless and Arthur new he was not suited for situations such as this. He wiped and dusted off the snow off his face and shoulders.
"Camiella, If you could please.." Arthur whined. A woman chuckles behind Arthur as she slides next to him in the door way. Her long curly golden blonde hair that cascade downward to her mid-back, the fur hemed white shawl wrapped around her, hid her top half of her torso and her long pink skirt that hide the rest of lower half. Her rosy cheeks and soft grin started to succumb with laughter but Arthur gives her a quick glare and Camiella suppress the laughter.
"Children, come back in side. We will not have any hot chocolate if you don't come back in side" said the woman. All three girls ears perked up when the word "Hot" and "Chocolate" shared in same sentence together, then all three looked at each other quietly. Integra started to weep and ran to the woman and grabbed the hem of her skirt. The woman raised her hand and gently caresses Integra's blonde straight long hair.
"Auntie Camilli, I wan Ha..Cholate ". Integra replied, still pulling away at the woman's skirt. The twin smiled at each other and quickly followed behind Integra.
"Mommie may we have hot chocolate too?" The twins said simultaneously beaming with a bright smile.
"Alright my lovelies go get washed up and we all have Hot Chocolate together." Said the Camiella as her hand stretched out and hugged the three girls. Woman release her hands and all three girls dashed up the stair.
A smirk slipped on Integra's face as that vague memory ran through her thoughts. She remember how well Angelina and Orianna loved to play with her father's temper. A pleasurable memory that Integra held dearly with in her heart and it maybe within her heart alone since see her that night. Her eyes removed themselves from the window sill of the garden and back at her desk. The door open and Seras walks through it.
"Sir!" Seras responded, she walked through the door and shut it behind her. She walks to the center of the room waiting for Integra's next response. Sera's suspected that there would be questions as to how that person from last night ended up in the mansion and she knew that she would have to answer true fully to her master about that person called Angelina, who was a cat that has stolen an important artifact of the hellsing manor. Her explanation probably won't sit well with Integra, is what Seras thought.
"Seras, where's Alucard?" replied Integra.
"I am here,…..my master!" Alucard appeared instantaneously on the ruby red couch next to the door. His legs was crossed, his arm stretch across the head of the coach. His instantaneous action nearly shocked both Integra and Seras but they quickly realize that this was his new power that he conquered in his realm.
"Now that you are all here, I guess you are wondering who that person was last night" said Integra resting her elbows on the table as she toy with her cigars through her fingers.
"Ah about that Sir, a couple of months ago I uuuhhh….I had a cat in the manor Sir. I had no Idea that that Cat was a vampire. My apologies, Sir Integra." Seras expressed embarrassedly. She thought that maybe if she had told Integra about the cat showing up at the manor maybe none of this wouldn't have happened. She felt that she may have jeopardized Integra's life by allowing that feline to stay in the manor. She felt that this was her mistake and it costed one of Hellsing artifacts to be stolen in the process.
"Its fine Seras. That Cat or Angelina. She…..is my cousin." Integra paused before speaking again.
"Angelina's mother is my Aunt. Camiella Hellsing the sister of Arthur and Richard Hellsing." Integra replied. Her heart became heavy for a moment, memories flooded within her. Sweet, soft and mysterious memories swelled within her downward gaze. Her heart squeezed, she fought back the tension of those flood memories that rippled within her and then her gaze rose up again at Seras and Alucard.
"At any case, Angelina has stolen a private journal of my grandfather Abraham Hellsing. That book seems to be important to her in someway, I want to know exactly what and why she needs it?" replied Integra.
"You plan to set…a trap for her, but to set a trap you need bait?" Alucrard replied with a cheshire shark grin. He, so look forwarded for the day that he and that damned woman would meet again. It was a days that he would anticipate with great passion, he so wanted to tear her body inside and out even if she was a former Hellsing, it made no difference to him. Richard or Her, there was only one true master who commands him, who can only subject their will on to his and she now stands before him. All there is now, is the command, the kill order from his countess. Yes, that order that will bring great pleasure to his mind to give that woman the same satisfaction of his humiliation from their first meeting.
"Yes, which means that we may need to meet with our former foe the Vatican on this, since according to the rumored history, Joan delivered the sword to the Pope so that England would not have its power" replied Integra. There were many myths about Joan of Arc, one in particular was her sword, Deucalion who she named the sword and before she was capture she gave the sword to the Pope in hopes that the sword could be used again to slave the evildoers, but then again there were stories that she threw the sword the down the river. However, how is Angelina able to find and wield such a sword? Even if she is a virgin her, her vampire lineage should have prevented her from wielding it. How is that possible? Then again Angelina is not a true vampire and that fault remains with her mother affair that even now is taboo to comprehend. Angelina and Orianna existence should not have become reality, during that time but it did, for some reason it did. Was it because Camiella was a virgin too?
"What about the abductions and Santiago, do you think Angelina is involved in some way?" Sera spoke in concern. If Angelina is involved with Abduction what would Hellsing do? Would Integra kill her own cousin? Integra seemed that she had longed for Angelina's return and now that she showed such a cold shoulder to her, how on earth is Integra going to handle this while still having such compassionate thoughts towards her.
"That is why you and Alucard will infiltrate the nightclub even if you have a meeting with this Santiago" replied Integra. They will need to gather as much information as possible, Integra believe that somehow Angelina may make an appearance there soon, for reason unknown to her.
"Even so Sir, we still not authorize the extermination." Sera's replied.
"Yes that is why I only want you to investigate and determine if we could possible find a lead to Angelina. Somehow I feel that they may be connected. I have a meeting with the Convention of Twelve to discuss this as well. For now this all, you are dis-miss!" Integra replied as she lit up her cigar and lay back in her chair. As Seras and Alucard left the room a deep sigh fell from Integras lips.
"Did Camiella, really forget his face? Did she really? I wonder ." she muttered to herself as another sigh escape from her lip. She will need to go to that place that place in the west wing that contains the remains of Camiella Hellsing. It's highly unlikely that Camiella's possessions contain anything important but Integra thought that understanding her relatives disappearance would perhaps help her understand Angelina's reasoning behind her actions.
Sera feeling a bit unsure about the turn of events, she glances up at her master who is all but ecstatic about the news. His Cheshire shark grin widen with amusement. A new enemy was storming before them, an enemy that prove to be very powerful, maybe on same the bar as him.
Integra arrive at the west wings, it was abandon with cob webs and dust everywhere, this place was supposed to be renovated but it never came to pass because Integra did not want to decimate what was the remains of her most precious family members. She had hoped that one day, one very day that she would be able to reunite with them with ease and that they could continue the way it had started out, but no, this was too naïve of her, to selfish, to cowardly of her to think that after reunite everything would go as according to plan, everything would be soft, smooth with open arms. No, these were selfish misguided reasoning of a pitiful child who was lonely, everything was different now it had been many years since there disappearance and many of her benefactors have persisted in persuade her into giving up the search, but Integra was prideful she would not give into their words and continue with no avail, no lead, nothing. Then suddenly out of the blue, she return to her now, but in a different form almost not completely recognizable, she could tell that her form had gotten older, her eyes was were not what they use to be, a sunny blue filled with life now was an icy glare filled with misery, despair, and hatred, but hatred to whom, Integra wonder? And then Integra thought perhaps she hated her or maybe Angelina hated herself? After all, if it weren't for Angelina she wouldn't been able to find those secret air duck tunnel that allowed her to escape and hide from Richard and allowed her to meet her most loyal and fateful servant Alucard. Perhaps Angelina hated herself as to what she was born as? Angelina's and Orianna's lineage was different from most normal children; they were looking down upon by many in Hellsing Organization. Many hated them, hated that they were born, hated what they are.
~~~~~~~~ Flash back Alert ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes that fateful day when Walter had left to Brazil, her father had just passed away only a few hours before the impeding attack on her inheritance. She remembered it vividly, Orianna and Angelina where holding Integra as she cried into their bosoms, her weeps of pain and sorrow filled the room, her father's body at its final rest on the pillowy bed. A Loud agonizing screech that tremors throughout the hallways that interrupted Integra's cry, Orianna releases her hand from Angelina and Integra and slowly exit her Arthur's bedroom to find out the whereabouts of that noise. That noise that she had never heard of, sounded familiar but was unrecognizable to her own ears, seem to peak interest to the twins. The screams would not lift from its torment, Angelina's grip had soften and Orianna remained frozen stiff at the hallway, facing a direction that Angelina and Integra could not see, their eyes fixed on Orianna position from where they have sat in the room, waiting for some type of reaction from her. Within a moment her lips curved to form a single phrase "Mom" it froze still on her lips, Angelina grasp Integra's hand tightly, she raised herself and Integra from the chair, her eyes burned forward confused by the body expression of her sister and walks over to Orianna to see a sight that stopped her dead in her tracks.
Integra wiped her tear flooded eyes to see two men, wearing black suites and black shoes and sunglasses, whose hands grip tightly a clump of blonde hair. The woman's whose head was being pulled back by the strong grip, her lips curled into a painful frown, her eyes overflowing with tears where bloody, a face filled with long scratches and purple blushes. Her hands and feet where place firmly on the ground, her white gown torn, shredded, bloodly spots decorated the white gown. The woman let out another howling cry and made an attempt to fight her oppressors, her hand, arms and legs swing wildly, attempting to hit anything that tried to restrain her. Her breath racing desperately as she tries to wiggle away from the men, but their grasp on her only grew tighter, one of the men finally released his hold on her but the other had caught hold of her wrist and lifted her off the ground, her feet dangled above the ground. The other man brisked up, he raised one of his hands and tighten his fist and rammed his hard fist in her pitiful face. The force of the blow pushes her head backwards, her cheeks dented by the pressure release a blood spat of teeth that flew to the ground.
They were frozen, frozen in time what they have witness did not seem true to them. Their senses tingled by his deafening blow, shock overwhelm their faces and limbs that they could not move from their position but watch as this scene played before there young blue eyes. The twins stood there, they couldn't utter a phrase. Dry Footsteps can be heard from the doorways, a man's appearance becomes visible. His hair was blonde and brushed to the side; blood daggered cuts filled his old face. His white shirt disheveled and exposed his silver hair filled chest. His black pants' belt was unbuckled, sweat eroded from him and he was breathing heavily.
The smell erode from him, was fowl, it was hot and smelled salty like. The dry salty bodily odor you smell that the body produce from a large amount of heat and sweat. This smell was unfamiliar to the girls but it made them feel nausea, to the point that Integra covered her nose to prevent it from overwhelming her.
"Put her in the damn car!" said Richard as he zipped up pants. The woman whose body dangled by her wrist, was silent her head drifted to the side, her eyes was shut and a soft moan escape her lips. The sound woke Orianna from her paralyzing shocked induce trance, that motivated her to speak worriedly about her ill-fated mother, but fear eroded within her as she tried to speak her voice shaken, tears flooded her eyes.
"Mo..Mom….What are….What are you doing to mom?" Orianna's hand grasp Angelina's hand tightly and it woke Angelina into a grim frown, her eyes and her chest burned and her mouth became dry. Integra's eyes widen out of confusions and a frown grew on her face.
"What, What are you doing Uncle?" Integra questioned the blonde hair man. His face was expression less, his eyes fixed on them but he didn't a single utter a phrase to the girls and glances back at Camiella dangled body. His eyes looked up to the man who held Camiella's body from the ground.
"Hurry Up! And get Stevens to take the twins." Then Richard glances toward the other man "And You!…Kill Integra, burn her body with Arthur's." replied the expressionless Richard, who begins to button his shirt neatly and patiently as if he had all the time in the world ignoring the little girls desperate please to grasp the understanding of his scheme.
"Shouldn't we kill and burn the twins with Integra as well, so that it wouldn't look suspicious" said one of the man. A shinning white pain of fear rupture through the girls' skins, their stomach curled and the different expression that appears before, now changed into fear and shock. Their hearts pounded, their mind became clear, they couldn't think, couldn't speak.
"No fool, our client has paid a large amount for the girls; I intend to give him what he desire. We'll simple say that the girls started the fire" said Richard as his fixed in collar.
"Oh! Oh!...I don't….I don't want this. I'm scared!" replied Orianna whimpering, Angelina was silent for a moment, and then as she tighten her grip of their hands that she had grasp and in a deep breath she ran down the opposite direction of the hallway pulling the girls along with her.
"After them! It took us years to plan this day, we can't afford them to escape. Go after them!" replied Richard as he walked back into the room, the man ran after the girls and he pull up out his walkie talkie from his belt and requested for backup.
The girls manage to hid into the kitchen but there was no one in the area, strange there was no one in the hallways either. Like the whole manor was abandon and that the only people were Richard's men and the girls. Integra breaths deeply for a moment, they all sat under the table which was drape with a white cloth obscuring their view from plain site.
"Integra, Orianna are you…ok?" Angelina questioned them quietly with a slight frown on her face. Both of the girls nodded in response but were breathing very heavily.
"We have to find away out of here?" Angelina stated as eyes peered away from them into an open slit of the white table cloth as she looked out for any sight of Richard's men.
"Father said to go into the dark tunnels?" Integra replied as she caught hold of her breath, she fixed her glasses that had been misaligned from her face from the run.
"What?!...There?...that place where we use to play in but told not too?" said Orianna worriedly, Integra nodded and Orianna let out a deep sigh. Angelina held Integra's hand tightly and looked at her and said
"He said that there was something down there, something that can protect us" Integra replied.
"Alright, let's go then?" Angelina replied as she mustered up her courage.
"What about mother?" Orianna replied, Angelina look down before looking back at her sister, Orianna. Angelina hands layed on Orianna shoulders, their eyes stared at each other. Integra watches closely, it looks as if they shared a deeper connection of some sort. A connection she could not understand, maybe it was one of those twin connections?
"We'll save mommie, and we will all get out of here and tell Water-kun about Uncle" Orianna and Integra both nodded in agreement. The girls hugged each other and held each other's hands, as Orianna brushes the table cloth and gets ready to run but a man lunges at her, she slides out just before he can grasp her. Angelina and Integra runs off from under the table. It was one man against three kids who were much quicker and faster than him. Orianna sticks her tongue at the man and she runs out of the kitchen luring him away from the others.
Angelina who held Integra hands runs up the stairs and into a chamber room with a ventilation shaft above the wall. Integra tugs at Angelina, with hesitation and a concerning frown.
"Orianna? We have to go back for Orianna?" Integra replied, Angelina laid her hand on Integra shoulders and smiled.
"Orianna thought it would be best to separate, so she's going to the other area of the ventilation near the garden. I'm going to help you get into this ventilation and then we all we'll meet up at that place, ok?" Angelina replied with the same smile. Integra remain frowned, she felt that they weren't telling her everything, and it made her feel useless, like a child. Angelina climbs up the table and opens the shafts frame, she pulled Integra up on the table and lifted her into the shaft. Integra crawls inside the dark tunnel, she glances back behind her as the metal frames closes behind her. Little did she know that, that was the last moments should we spend with Angelina and Orianna. Later on a she crawled from section to section of the tunnels, she could hear muffled screams and gun fire but she could not determine from where the sounds was coming from.
~~~~~~~~Flash back ends ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the west wing, Integra enters a room field with boxes. Walter had gathered the girls items into these boxes. Integra opens the box, her fingers run through several documets. She pulls out one of these documents, it was two birth certificates dating back to 1929 with the babies name Angelina Bellania Castleway and Orianna Morrigana Graywort Hellsing. Integra places the certificates back into the box. She then pulled out another object from the box which appeared to be a music sheet written by hand. Ah, That's right Camiella was an Opera singer and she had remember how Angelina and Orianna would vividly describe their mothers singing to her, Integra was not born at the time to see her aunt singing in her prime before her old age caught up to her. The hand writing on the sheet was not of her Aunt Camellia but Angelina.
~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback Alert~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Listen, Inti-chan. One day I'll become a great singer like mommie…and then maybe mommie will sing with me and Orianna" replied a beaming Angelina, whose hand was placed around Integra shoulders.
"But Auntie is not singing anymore" replied Integra.
"Yeah, but she said that one day she'll get better when he returns" replied Angelina.
Integra tilted her head out of confusion. To whom did she mean by this? Who will return some day? Perhaps she means her father Arthur after all he was away on a business trip in Denmark, maybe that what she means.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flash back ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When he returns?" Integra repeated the statement from her memory, she raised an eyebrow. What did she mean by that? It was true Camiella had lost her voice in her later years but it was always because of her illness. At least that was what her father and Walter had always told her. Integra continue to scavenge the box again for more information about Camiella and the twins. There must be more? Integras eye caught a white folder nested at the further edge of the box; she pulled the white folder out and opens it. The folder contains medical documentations about Camellia. One document in particular had listed Camellia as a patient at St. Elizabeth Hospital's psychiatric center. The dates of when she was admitted to the hospital where dated was the date of Richard Hellsing coup.
"I knew Auntie was sick, but I didn't know she needed to be admitted" as she thought to herself. She continue to read the documents and gave a detail report of why she was admitted.
Patient experienced sever hallucinations. Patient was declared a danger to herself and to other in her family based off of family reports. Patient suffered insomnia, vomiting, hair loss, weight loss, and self multilation. The patient often spoke the following phrases incoherently: "He is searching for me….searching for me. He will return one day for me", "And there will be a winter's sleep", "Red petals flowing with the butterflies in a starless night". When ask the meaning of phrase the patient would not speak but continue to ramble the phrase, often would ramble this phrasse in violent outburst requiring sedation and restraining.
She knew that Camiella was sick but never this sick the description above just seem artificial, that was not the caring Camiella she knew. Yes, it was true that she was weak and constantly stayed in bed, but never describe like this. She searches more through box and found a pink journal, it appears that this was Camiella's personal journal, Integra starts to read:
August 1
His obsession frightens me, the way he looks at me. That gleam in his eye, I see it in him, so strongly that it scares me. I am filled will disgust at the sight of him. His eyes send tremors down my core. I know I shouldn't think this way towards him, but his confessions are absurd. He is absurd in thinking that I will accept this with open arms. If only father were alive, I wish that things were back to normal when father was still alive.
I am not embarrassed by saying this, I am glad that I will be leaving tomorrow for Russia. I won't have to deal with Richards provocative glares. He's smell, his breath; his hand touching me degrading every fiber of my being sends chills down my spine. I dare not say these things to Arthur, Arthur loves him so and I do wish not to embarrass our good name. A scandal would rock our status that daddy work so hard for.
Though I will be saddened by the fact that I'll be leaving Arthur alone to mourn the passing of our dear father and his duties, but I feel as if I don't go, don't leave the manor something inside of me would just die. I cannot continue to be Richards shinning doll, I want to sing. Sing so my voice can reach the heavens, where my father in heaven can hear me.
August 4
I am so ecstatic, I am finally in the Red Country, England is so distant now, like a distant memory. As I walked along the campus of the Academy, I remember feeling this electric light pain that struck through my veins. I was so anxious and excited, my palms became so sweaty, an English girl like myself getting all sweaty how indecent of me. The campus is so vast and the gardens are magnificent, I wish Arthur can see this. I think he would say "England is much better!" and I would probably go through a tantrum debate with him.
The students seem to be very nice and experience, I really think I'm going to enjoy learning here. I met my roommate today, she is a local girl, her name is Natasha. I am taking ballet with her as an elective. Though, I don't think I'll be as good as her, her performance at the opening ceremony was beautiful, it was as if time had stop, her movements where so fluid, gentle and soft I was in engulf by her.
September 30
Today is the day of my very first Opera performance at Harina Theatre, I am tickling with excitement, I am so nervous, it almost feels like a dream, a mystic dreams of wondrous sounds and vivid costumes. I can't believe I'm taking center stage in a supporting role. My only wish is that Father and Arthur were around to see me, I know Arthur has his duties but he has promised to see me at the annual performance. I know that if I sing loud enough, just loud enough for the heavens to open up, he could hear me up there somewhere, somewhere in those twinkled stars.
September 31
Last night performance was amazing. The stage open up, the lights dimmed to our perspective persons and then the music ranged and I sang my hardest in my first opening. I swirled around the room, hitting every key note and when my direction stood in front of the audience I saw him, he who dared to stare deeply into my eyes. His presence was so strong that I struggle for a moment to take my eyes off of his, for a moment I struggle to grasp my focus on the performance but his eyes they were calling for me and only me. My heart race, I felt hot and my mouth became dry, it was a feeling I have never felt before. Who was he I wonder? I finally regain my focus and completed my chorus before I left the stage in my final scene. The teacher scolded me for my lack of concentration but I swear to him that nobody from the audience saw me distracted, and my excuse was that I was bedazzled by the light. It's was partial true after all the lights were very bright, sort of speak.
All I can remember was his eyes and how his stare struck me so deeply.
November 15
It's strange, I felt almost disappointed that I did not see him again in the audience, those eyes from before that caused my chest to pound. I can't believe that I was really hoping to see him again. Perhaps I won't see him again; I'll never forget that feeling of being possessed by that stare, it was bewitching. I told Natasha about it, but she only tease me, and said I was only day dreaming and that I was a blonde airhead. I'll show here who's an airhead, but I know what I saw and it was true to me.
November 26
That man appeared in my dreams last night, I dreamed that it was dark, cold and misty. I was in a garden under the rays of the moons light and the stars twinkled about, the light was beaming so brightly at the gardens that I could see the colors of the flowers so vividly. I think I was singing a song that I was unfamiliar with, I don't remember the words, and then I saw him, he was stretching out his hand towards me. Then suddenly I just woke up, and then I felt so disappointed, I wanted to keep dreaming some more, so that I could see him, just a little more.
January 3
I saw him again in my dreams, the same images from before but it's a little more vivid the garden with the pink flowers near a lake, the night cold air, the misty air and me sing again but the song that I sang is unfamiliar to me. I don't know these words, they are foreign to me but not to my dreams. I remember pieces of the song:
I am searching for you
I am searching for you,
My love whose shines brighter than any glow
Shines brighter than the moon
I see you now my deafening star
In the darkness I see you now, you who shine brighter than anything
I want to feel this stars warmth, this fragile imperfect star
My heart Bleeds for you, who sings to the heavens
I am the voice that cannot live nor cannot die
I am the voice that calls to you
I remain in the red cloaked shadows
The rose petals that scatter my perfect name
My night butterfly that shines brightly
I am searching for you
My love I am searching for you
You who captivate my deep reasoning….
I can't seem to remember the entire song, I remember his hand stretching towards me, I remember feeling my heart still racing even when I was awake. Who is this man that stalks my dreams?
December 26
Yesterday, I saw him, I saw him again but not in my dreams, in the balcony of the theatre. He gave me such a bewitching stare, a stare that can cause time to become still. It pierces my heart and I once again struggle to maintain my focus, my reasoning. It's as if he is teasing me with that stare. When the curtain came down, I quickly ran to the foyer of the theatre to watch him pass through the crowd, and then I saw him, he looked up towards me and gave me a Cheshire smile, as if he knew, knew of our secret dream.
October 1
I feel it, something tearing me from the inside slowly, it felt like I was going to break, something stretching me. This pain, this white hot dry pain that inflames my lower half, my heart raddles and sweaty droplets runs down my body, but the pain remains. This pain that never left from its assault on me, my body feels paralyze, my breath heavy. I remember seeing the small streams of blood flowing between my sheets. What is this blood that streams from me?
"Integra Sir" to her dissatisfaction, Integra's reading was interrupt by one of the maid who have enter the room. Integra did not know that Richard had set his eyes so closely towards his aunt, those hungry eyes she speaked of describing his sadistic attempts to take her but who was the man from Camiella's dreams. Could this man be of some relation to the twins? Integra did not understand the meaning of Camiella some of her entries, there is more for her to investigate in her journals, maybe there are some later entries of how she got admitted in the hospital.
"Aaah, Sir. The Convention of Twelve meeting is waiting at the east wing, Sir" replied the worriedly maid.
"Yes, I'll be there" Integra replied and maid brisk away from the room.
Integra closed the book and walks out the room, she shuts and locks the door behind her and proceeds to walk down the hallway.