Stormy: Hello readers! I celebration of me going and seeing Wreck-it-Ralph, I'd like to announce today's special guest host. The sassy cutey and Ralphs co-star, Vanellope van Schweetz!

Vanellope: (walks in) Hey guys! How's everybody doing?

Stormy: (fangirl squeal) Kyaa! You're so adorable!

(Picks her up and hugs her)

Vannellope: Gya! Put me down! Put me down!

Stormy: (puts her down) Sorry. Couldn't help it. You're just so cute!

Vanellope: (brushes off her shirt) Yeah, I get that a lot lately.

Stormy: (sweeps arm towards camera) Would you like the honors?

Vanellope: (nods and turns towards camera) Storm-Maiden-Lucania doesn't own Despicable Me nor Wreck-it-Ralph.

Stormy: Though it would be really awesome if I did. Sonic would show up so much more during the movie.

Both: Enjoy!

The next day, we were once again on cookie runs. Things weren't going well. We'd hardly had any sales yet and I could feel that the girls were becoming anxious.

As we rounded the corner though, my concern turned to confusion. The house that lay before us was solid white with orange accents. To make things even stranger, it was shaped like a dome and seemed to be made of some strange plastic like substance. Glancing around, I also noticed a large blackened crater on the far side of the road. For a moment, I thought I saw movement within the hole but I blinked and it was gone. Shaking my head a few times, I followed the girls up to the front gate. A camera on the edge of the wall surrounding the residence swiveled to lock on to the three. The top of the round building lifted up and revealed hundreds of missiles underneath, all of which proceeded to point at the girls. In the space of a second it would take a cell to move, I was in front of them, holding a battle stance, sword drawn. Though I was no longer a Warrior Angel, I still carried my rapier on my belt, ready to use it on anything, and anyone, who threatened my charges.

"Whoa! Cool!" Edith cried and I rolled my eyes.

"Uhh, Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for girls." Margo called to the intercom on the wall near her, discreetly pulling Agnes behind her. My heart swelled with pride at the action. The eldest of my girls always put her sister's safety before her own, whether taking the blunt of Hattie's punishments or protecting them from strangers.

"I don't care. Beat it!" A nasally voice answered from the intercom.

"Come on! We're selling cookies so we can, you know, have a better future." Margo replied, though she knew the words were false.

"Ohh! Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties?" The male on the other end asked, his voice was suddenly much friendlier.

"Um, yeah," Margo answered, somewhat confused.

The missiles retracted back into the roof and the gate in the wall swung open. The girls glanced at each other hesitantly, before stepping through onto a white pathway that ran over a watery moat to the main house. I gave a deep sigh and flapped after them.

'This is gonna be a weird day.' I thought.

A few hours later, I was lounging on a rafter in the girls' room, grinning happily. Our weird day was starting to look up. The owner of the strange house, a somewhat geeky man named Vector had ordered an unbelievable large amount of cookies. Hattie had been very excited with our large sale and had even given the girls extra food during lunch, a rare commodity at the orphanage.

My ears perked up as I heard a crackle of static from the intercom speaker in the corner.

"Would Margo, Edith, and Agnes please come to the lobby?" Miss Hattie's voice echoed from the electronic and my eyes snapped open wide. Being called to the lobby could only mean one thing.

Adoption.

Before I even had time to smile, the girls came streaking into the room, screaming with delight. I gave a shout of my own, one of surprise, and lost my balance. Toppling off the rafter and landing in a crumpled pile on the floor. The girls didn't notice, obviously, and continued rushing about the room.

"I bet the mom is beautiful!" Margo cried, pulling her poster off the wall and tucking it in her suitcase.

"I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle!" Edith replied, opening their wardrobe and pulling out their piggy bank. The girls didn't own very many clothes, so she grabbed those as well and began attempting to cram both items in a bag.

"I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears!" Agnes announced, bringing the rush to a screeching halt as the others turned to look at her. "I'm just saying it would be nice." She said innocently, replying to their looks, before bending to pick some thing up from near my left side. "Aww! My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly." She said, downcast.

"That's a Cheeto." Edith replied.

"Oh." Agnes answered, before popping the snack in her mouth.

I shared a wince with the others as I got to my feet. Carefully spreading my wings, I examined them for any injures from the fall. Finding none evident, I gave a satisfied nod and tucked then tightly against my back. I then followed the girls on foot as they lugged their bags down the halls.

"Oh! Hi, girls!" Miss Hattie greeted us cheerfully as we stepped into the lobby. A man was standing with her and when he turned around and began walking towards us, I gasped in shock. He wasn't exactly the perfect dad the girls had been hoping for.

He kind of reminded me of a crane, with his long pointy nose, wide shoulders, and long skinny legs. He was also bald and looked kind of sleep deprived, with subtle shadows under his eyes. Accenting his creepiness was the fact he was dressed like a doctor. The girls, not noticing his disquieting appearance for a moment, looked up expectantly at him and he smiled at them, or tried to at least. It came out as more of a grimace, as though his face wasn't experienced at conjuring the expression.

Glancing at the girls, I found that they had finally noticed and their expressions mirrored their states of mind. Agnes and Margo's eyes were wide open in horror. Edith's jaw was almost on the ground. Then Agnes, being the innocent soul she was, grinned and ran, giggling with delight, across the space that separated them and leaped, clinging to one of his legs. I practically dove for her in fear, face planting painfully into the floor as I passed through both her and the man's leg. Luckily it didn't seem like he was going top hurt her as he merely stared at her in surprise, as befuddled by her actions as the others.

"Wait a sec! Who the hell is this guy anyway?!" I cried, leaping to my feet.

Ignoring any potential damage that may have been inflicted to my wings in the fall, I took to the air, sweeping around the side of Hattie's desk and focusing in on her computer.

"Last Name: Gru. First Name: Felonious. Oh, come on that's obviously a fake name!" I shouted, despite that fact I knew no one could hear me, scanning through the blatantly fake application.

I looked up to glare at the poser and gasped when I realized the room was empty.

"Ahh! Wait, come back!" I cried, flying full speed out of the room.

I made it outside to see him driving away with the girls in a freaking tank of a car. The vehicle moved slowly up the street and then, in a sudden burst of speed, rocketed away over one of the towns tall hills. I gave my wings a hard snap and was practically bending the winds to my will in an effort to keep up. I was capable of going supersonic, but I didn't want the resulting sonic boom to hurt the girls, so I had to hold back. The "car" wove through town and out onto the costal roads, before finally coming to a stop in the driveway of a tall black house, a dark spot in a neighborhood of bright sunny residences. I landed on top of the vehicle and slumped into a laying position, breathing heavily. I was in pretty darn good shape, even for an angel, but damn that car was fast!

I glanced down as I heard a door in the side of the tank open and saw the group exit the vehicle, the man now wearing black pants, a matching jacket and a black and grey scarf draped around his neck.

"Ok, ere ve are. Ome sveet ome." He said, his northern-euro accent strangely familiar as he bent to pick a news paper off his lawn.

I looked up at the dark house and my eyes went wide as I recognized the building. Realization seemed to dawn on Margo in the same instant.

"Wait, you're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message!" We cried in unison, though only one voice was heard.

"No, zat vas someone else." He replied calmly as he unlocked the door, startling me with how smoothly the lie seemed to come to him.

He opened the door and I darted inside, my slender frame slipping between his body and the door and looked around in a stunned silence. Wanted posters of famous criminals hung from the walls of the hall alongside famous paintings and I spied a winding stair case further on. Above it hung a chandelier that seemed to be made from a giant Morning Star. The girls had a similar impression.

"Can I hold your hand?" Agnes asked the man, looking up at him with pleading eyes from his side. He pulled his hand back slightly, looking down in surprise at her before studding away.

"Um, no." He replied, leading them down the hall.

"When we got adopted by a bald guy, I though this would be more like Annie." Edith whispered to Margo as the three followed him into the living room of from the hall, leaving me hovering by myself in said hall.

"What the hell is going on?" I mumbled to myself, staring down at the ground, my eye brows scrunched together in confusion.

"Hey there, White Wings."

My eyes went wide and I blushed, as "White Wings" was the angel equivalent of the human term "Hot Stuff." I slowly turned in midair to look at the the figure floating behind me, having immediately recognized the voice.

"Jareth?" I squeaked, my voice quite from shock.

"The one and only." He replied with a smirk.

I couldn't believe it. Jareth was my closest friend, a fellow angel I'd known most of my 2000 or so years of life. He had resigned from the Warrior division of Eden when he heard I was doing the same. He'd been assigned to a charge over fourty years ago and I hadn't seen him since. And there he was, hovering in front of me with that same cocky smile on his face. He was currently wearing a high collared black trench coat with several buckles running up the front, a pair of combat boots peeking out from underneath. His black hair was still the same, most of it sticking straight up in thick spikes, a few stray strands falling into his eyes. His deep red eyes glittered happily as he gazed at me.

It was then that that my eyes drifted to his wings, stretching out through two long slits cut in the back of his garment, and I gasped.

"Oh my god! What happened to your wings?!" I cried, staring in shock at the dark feathers.

The purity of soul of a Guardians charge, or charges in my case, was displayed by the color of their wings. The darker, the more misguided. My own were almost entirely pure snow white, with just a touch of downy grey on the edges, mostly due to Edith's mischievous tomboy nature. My companions plumage however, was black as ink with a bit of medium grey along the tip of each primary.

"A few bad decisions from Ichijo, I'd expect," He replied with a shrug, landing gently on the soft carpet below, myself following suit.

"I'd take they're yours?" he asked, gesturing towards the living room. I nodded, and then once more scrunched my eye brows up in confusion.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked.

"This is my charges house." He replied plainly.

I cocked an eyebrow and pointed over my shoulder.

"Him?"

Jareth nodded.

"I swear, if the Boss planned this…" I trailed off with a sigh then looked up at my friend with concern.

"Seriously though. He seems a little strange, but how did he manage to do…this?" I asked, reaching out and touching the silky feathers.

"You don't know?" he asked, a devious smile playing at his lips.

I gave him a questioning glance as I lowered my hand back down to my side.

"That's Gru Braginski, one of the world's greatest super villains."

My eyes went wide as saucers and my jaw dropped. I uttered the only word that covered the severity of the situation.

"Crap."

I suddenly realized there were no voices coming from the other room and I sprinted to the entrance, crying out in alarm when I found the room to be empty.

"Don't worry, we'll find them," Jareth said, putting his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me.

We took to the air and began to search.

After about three hours of Jareth leading me from room to room in the strangely massive house, we found them back where we started, sitting in the living room with two strange yellow Tic-Tac shaped creatures wearing overalls and goggles.

"What…are those?" I asked, baffled by the weird beings.

"Those are some of the minions. Don't worry, they may be kind of strange looking, but they're perfectly harmless." Jareth replied.

"Minions?"

"They work in the gigantic lab Gru has hidden under the house for his use in creating evil plots."

"Of course he does," I said with a sigh, leaning against the door of a closet in the room.

I let out a cry of surprise as the doors weak lock sprang loose and said door somehow pushed itself open, toiletries pouring out. The girls and Minions looked over in surprise and Jareth started laughing as I was buried under the items.

"Shut up." I growled, pulling myself out.

The girls trotted over and began picking up the rolls of toilet paper that had spread out across the floor. The calm situation quickly dissolved as Edith threw a roll at Margo, who retaliated with one of her own. Agnes and the minions soon joined in and everything went to heck. I flitted and darted through the air, trying to avoid the flying rolls. I felt one hit me in the back and I whirled around to find Jareth hovering behind me with a smirk, his arms filled with the fluffy ammo.

"Oh, now you're gonna get it." I said, a smile slowly spreading across my own mouth as I reached down and picked up a few of the rolls from the floor.

We proceeded to chase each other around the high-ceilinged room in an exhibition of acrobatic flips and dodges, long trails of paper draping across the chandelier and furniture. The excitement came to an end when I threw a roll at my friends head and he gave a hard wing beat, shooting up and out of the way. I gasped when I realized Gru had been standing behind him. The tall man tall man ducked to avoid the flying roll and then stood up straight, a somewhat frightening aura emitting from him. The others finally noticed him and froze.

"It was your cousin's idea!" Edith cried suddenly, pointing to one of the minions.

"Whaaaa!?" cried the minion in surprise.

"Ok, bedtime." Gru said to the girls, obviously trying to control his anger as he pointed over his shoulder.

I started to follow the girls as he led them from the room, but sopped when Jareth grabbed my hand.

"Come on. I know some place we can sleep." He said, nodding towards the hall. I followed him as he spiraled up into the hall rafters, blinking in surprise when I saw several blankets and pillows folded neatly on the wooden beams.

"Gru's still wondering where these went to." Jareth chuckled, tossing me a pair.

I flopped down, suddenly aware of how tired I was. A few seconds later, I was out like a light.

(Stormy and Venellope are sitting on a couch, eating sweets.)

Vanellope: (eating a muffin¹) So, how'd ya like it?

Stormy: (fangirling) Kyaa!

(Hugs Vanellope.)

Vanellope: I SAID PUT ME DOWN!

Ralph: (from outside of room) VANELLOPE?!

(Ralph smashes through wall)

Stormy: (sarcastically) Why, thank you Ralph for smashing a giant hole in the side of my house.

Felix: (jumps in through hole) Don't worry! I can fix it!

(Taps wall with hammer and fixes it.)

Stormy: Thank you. Now if only General Calhoun was here…

(There's a small explosion and the other wall blows up. A cybug flies in, followed by Calhoun, who's riding a hoverboard and shooting at it.)

Stormy: Speak of the devil.

(Cybug crashes through the wall Felix just fixed and Calhoun flies after it.)

Stormy: (looks around at crumbling room)

Felix: (sighs) I've got it.

(Goes to fix room)

Stormy: Ok, how many awesome game charectors are going to show up in my house?

Sonic: (runs in through on of the holes before Felix can fix it) Did someone say awesome game charectors?

Stormy: Oh, hey Sonic. Not sure why you're here, but ok.

(Hugs him)

Celty: (suddenly appears) Storm, what have I told you about pulling people out of their series?

Stormy: (Trying to hide everyone behind her back) What people?

(Celty glares at her.)

Stormy: (sighs) Ok people, lets get this show on the road before anyone else shows up.

All: (looking towards camera) Feel free to ask questions and point out errors. Reviews are love and flames will be used to heat the Diet Cola springs of Sugar Rush. Bye!

1: I just found the mental image of her eating a muffin really cute for some reason.