Disclaimer: Beware the poo wielding ninja monkeys!

Chapter five - To The Village We Go

With everyone gone to look at the hole, I went back to my bag and got out one of the many capsules stashed away along with some yellow & black paint. 'mahahahahaha, think you can scare me Mr. Baldy? HAH think again!!' I thought to myself as I hummed a jaunty little tune (which made me more stealth like…how strange…oh! I stepped on a bug…)

Pulling out a bottle of water and my meds, I took a couple of sips after I popped two pills, before putting it away. After rummaging around my bag a little more I pulled out a paint brush, grin widening, evil thoughts entered my mind, oh Riddick would never guess what hit him! "Good thing the meds don't work fast or else I would not be doing this"

While sneaking back into the 'brig', Dick started to bang his chains against the pillars. Perfect! Wandering around to his back where he could not see me; I dumped the can of yellow paint over his head, then acting quickly I painted two black dots and a curved line on his head. Revenge: has a happy day.

Quickly putting my hands on Riddick's shoulders I flipped over him, landed into a roll, jumped up and ran outside before the Death Threats started spewing, ah I'm so happy now.

Hearing distant yells, I quickly make my way towards the gathering. Faint yelling in one of the spires caught my attention from my previous goal, so I river danced my way over there. 'Hey I'm pretty good at this,' My mind supplies. I see Tranny (The kid) already at the spire, calling out to the others.

"She's in here!" At this, everyone rushed over to break her out. My awesome skills helped immensely. Note that my awesome skills involved: running, tripping, flailing about, and last but not least, smacking my head against the spire, and cracking it open. The spire…not my head.

Quickly blinking the argyle dots out of my eyes, I jumped up and started to help everyone pull Crispy out of the spire. After we managed to haul her Cowardice up, whatever the things in the hole are, they yanked her back ala rope. Well, no one wanted her to die. . . Ok so everyone else didn't want her to die. So I grabbed Johns' knife, grabbed the rope and imagined it was her throat. Ah, what a nice slice.

After all the hubbub over whether Crunchy was ok or not died down, everyone traipsed back to camp. With every one milling about and not paying any attention, Johns disappeared to go and talk to Riddick. After about 5 minutes, Johns came out looking a little shaken, and out followed Riddick.

As I followed Dick with my eyes, he turned to look at me, and I could tell: if not for everyone else or whatever deals Johns made with Riddick, he would have jumped me (not the good jump either). Immediately. So using my awesome survival skills; I quickly skedaddled away from Mr. Grouchy pants.

While I loitered around, everyone else gathered crap to take to the village GWK (good with ketchup) and Johns found while they explored. Having already stuffed my things back into my bag after my encounter with Riddick I was ready to go. Being the smart twenty year old I was I did my damnedest to avoid being any where near Dickey Boy, with all the shit I pulled.

After everyone herded themselves into a line we made off to the village. Potato Product and Johns in the front, Shazza and Tranny were next. Then Wimpy man followed after, with me trailing behind. 'that man's ass is not pretty. Why couldn't I be behind Riddick? Oh yea… cuz he could turn around and KILL me. Unless he knew I was looking at his firm muscle packed rumpus…kukuku.' I chuckled to myself, which ended short do to rumbling being heard. And it wasn't in my tummy.

"What's so funny?" He inquires. And the lovely me without thinking blurted out what I was previously thinking. "I was wondering why you couldn't be in front of me so I could look at your ass instead of floppy's here." After wonderfully blurting that out I hastened my hands over my troublemaker of a yap and turn as red as the blood of a Hume. Fucking meds had not kicked in yet!

He started chuckling at me and that made me scurry forward all cracked out squirrel like, which made me not notice the bottle dropped in the sand. So I tripped over the fucking thing and landed ass first in the air. "Ow, sand greeting the face is not a happy feeling." Snickering and snorting reached my ears. So looking up I found Tranny clutching his/her/its sides. My glare immediately shut the Thing up.

Paris scuttled forward, hoping to reclaim his bottle, but not before Riddick picked it up and guzzled the contents down. "Paris P. Ogliv. Antiques merchant. Entrepreneur." He held out his hand in front Riddick. He looks at it then says, "Richard B. Riddick…" I added in "Sometimes known as Dick." He glared in my direction and continued. "Escaped convict. Murderer." "Oh those poor poor kittens." I chimed while dusting myself off.

A little bit later, after venturing through a massive bone-yard we got to the village. It reminded me of an old western ghost town. ¹After wandering around a little bit, I stumbled upon Riddick shaving his head. With a very, very sharp dagger/ shiv thing. Before I could back away from the area, Johns walked to the front of Riddick, looked at the 'shaving device' and wavered out, "I thought I said no knifes." I laughed at Johns' insecurity. "It's a personal grooming device," came the reply. Snickering lightly to my self I wandered off again.

End Chapter

Serin Sykes

Alternate scene:

¹After wandering around a little bit, I stumbled upon Riddick shaving his head.

"Can I pretend that the razor is a lawnmower, or an executioner or something, and you hair is like… people screaming for mercy 'oh sweet merciful holy beings! Why are we doomed to be sliced by an unknown force…!' or something like that jazz." Dicky doo stares at me for a moment, well… glares at me then goes back to slicing those poor pedestrians he calls hair follicles. Johns walks up while listening to my attempts as people dying. "aahhh!!! Sweet merciful god noo-aaagghhghh*sputters*" "I thought I said no knives." I'm stilling making small gurgling noises 'Run Joans! Before it gets you too-aaggghh'. "it's not a knife, it's a damnation tool to all that is hair." I think that was Riddick's attempt at humor. It was well done.

Edit: some minor altercations oh and a note. My sister helped me with this chapter and the scene right here ^ was made by her.