Chapter 6

The Trouble with Andrew

Once we got home and my bike had been put away, Mommy went into the kitchen to help Seth make lunch. She sent me up to my room to wait and to think about what I had done wrong.

I flopped on my bed. This was gigundoly unfair. All I wanted to do was see a church but Mommy had foiled me again. I would have to resort to my alternate plan of starting my own church. It would be way better than any church that my friends go to because I would be running it.

A little bit later, Mommy came into my room. I was scribbling down some more ideas for my church and humming to myself. I was very excited about my church and having people worship me. It would be better than any stinky church my meanie mo friends go to.

Mommy sat on the bed next to me. She put her fat behind right on top of my religion list. It was very rude of her but she did not seem to care, "Karen, I do not know what more Daddy or I can say to you. I am sorry that you want a religion like your friends but I have very strong feelings against joining one and so does Daddy."

I frowned, "But Mommy, it is not fair. Nothing bad happened when I snuck into Pamela's church."

Mommy patted me on my back, "Something bad did happen, Karen. You lied to both Seth and I. You made us sad. You were sneaky and disobedient. Now you are in trouble."

"Yes but those bad things are not my fault at all," I could not believe how Mommy was trying to twist things around to make me look bad.

Mommy shook her head, "Just come eat lunch now, Karen."

I followed her to the kitchen. Andrew and Seth were eating cold fried chicken and potato salad. I sat down to join them with a new scheme in my head. I was grounded to the house but not to my room. I could begin working on turning the playhouse into the most wonderful church ever after I ate lunch.

I decided to mention my plan to play in the playhouse but conveniently left out the part about the church, "After I eat lunch, I am going to go play in the playhouse by myself.

Andrew and Seth looked at each other then Seth cleared his throat, "Well, Karen, Andrew already had plans to play with his dinosaurs out there."

I did my tiger growl at both of them. Andrew is such a baby brat, "But I really want to play there."

"Well Karen, if you could be nice then maybe you and Andrew can both play there. You may not leave the yard though," Mommy suggested.

I did not want to share anything with Andrew and I did not think I should have to share with him since he is so mean to me all the time. Still, I really wanted to play in the playhouse and work on my church and did not want to waste another minute even if Andrew was in the way. I could take care of that. I made a decision.

"Oh yes I can share with Andrew," I smiled sweetly even though I did not mean it. I hate Andrew's guts but I am a gigundoly good actress.

Mommy did not look like she believed me but she did not say so, "Okay, Karen. You help Seth and I clean up then you may join Andrew in the playhouse."

After the kitchen was clean, I ran to my room and filled my back pack with everything I thought I might need to make my church the best ever. I trotted out to the backyard to find Andrew in the playhouse. He had turned it into a dino-zone. I decided I would do my best to ignore him so I did not get in trouble. This was one plan I did not want Mommy to stop.

Andrew did not pay any attention when I came into the playhouse. I was not amused. How dare he ignore the great and powerful Goddess Karen Brewer? Did he not realize that I deserve respect and to be worshipped?

I greeted him with a shout, "HELLO ANDREW!"

Andrew glanced up at with an irritated look on his face, "Hello Karen. Please do not bother me while I am having a war of t-rex versus triceratops."

I went to a corner in the corner of the playhouse that was away from Dino-Andrew so I could work in peace and quiet. I pulled out a stack of paper and a box of crayons and set to work. I wanted to make flyers advertising my church to put up around the neighborhood.

The first flyer I made looked like this:

"COME ONE COME ALL TO THE CHURCH OF KAREN BREWER, Monday starting at 9 am, Admission: 1 dollar each. Location: Karen's playhouse."

I decorated it with a map to my house and a big picture of me which I made gigundoly beautiful. I gave myself a big chest, the loveliest lady dress ever and movie star hair. I was very pleased.

After my first flyer was done I made several more with each picture of myself each more beautiful than the last. When I had made ten flyers I decided this was a good number but now I was not sure how to deliver them. Mommy had said to stay in the yard and I knew Andrew would tattle on me.

I stared at Andrew with his meanie mo dinosaurs fighting each other for a few minutes and thought. Suddenly I had an idea. Andrew cannot read. Andrew was also not grounded to the yard like I was. Maybe he could deliver my flyers for me. I also needed Andrew out of the way so I could begin turning the playhouse into a church.

I walked over to Andrew. He was so busy that he did not see me. I poked him in the arm, "Hey Andrew, can you do me a favor?"

"I do not know, Karen. You have not done any favors for me lately," Andrew continued playing with his dinosaurs.

I thought fast, "I will pay you Andrew. I will pay you a bag of cookies that I am hiding in my closet and a whole sheet of glittery star sticks."

Andrew was not going for it, "I would like real money, Karen. Cookies and stickers are good but I need cash to buy more dinosaurs."

Andrew was being so unfair. He knew my allowance was cut off and that I had no money left after the misunderstanding with Club G. I did not have any money but I had another idea.

"Wait here, Andrew. I will get you money." I ran into the house with my fingers crossed. I needed all the luck I could get.

Mommy and Seth were in the living room watching television. I tiptoed into the foyer of the house to where I knew Mommy often left her purse. It was hanging up on a hook. I took it down and started rummaging for her wallet. I opened it up. There were credit cards and Mommy's driver's license but those were not what I was looking for. I looked in the side pocket and saw cash and coins. I took a five and put the wallet back. I did not want Mommy to get suspicious about me taking money so I did not take a lot.

I ran upstairs and grabbed the cookies and stickers from my closet. Then I went back downstairs and out to the yard with Andrew. He was still playing with dinosaurs and had started building a lego mountain for them to sit on.

"I am back," I announced.

"Ok Karen," Andrew continued building the lego mountain.

"Andrew, I got a five dollars and the cookies and the stickers if you will do a favor for me. Go and put one of these invitations on the door steps of every kid on the street. I am having a party and I will invite you if you help me. " I knew that Andrew loves parties.

The money got Andrew's attention, "Ok Karen. Five dollars will get me a lot of dinosaurs at the dollar store. I will help you."

Andrew took my stack of flyers and headed out through the side gate of the yard. Mission accomplished. With Andrew out of my way and delivering my files I could finally get down to work. I smiled happily. I did not have a moment to lose.