Chaper Nine

Andrew Goes Too Far

After cleaning up the garage, I went to my room to pout about what had happened. My friends were so scared of Mommy they would probably never want to play with me again. I also did not have a church of my own yet. It was gigundoly unfair. It was all Mommy and Andrew's fault. Well and Pamela Harding's fault too. I could not believe stupid Andrew had been taken in by her lies. He is such a dummy.

I decided I needed to do something to cheer myself up so I turned on the radio. I flipped through the stations but nothing sounded good. Then I hit upon a song with a catchy chorus. I do not know that the rest of the song was about since it was grown up things that did not mean much to me but the chorus was a sign.


Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'

That was right. My friends had stopped believing in me being a Goddess but I could not stop believing in myself. I had to find a way to make them believe me again. I decided that this song would be my new theme song.

Quickly I pulled my shirt off and put it on my legs. I tied it around my waist with Andrew's necktie. A song this good deserved a celebration with the sweater pants dance. I started shrieking the song out as loud as I could. I kept screaming the words long after the song had stopped playing on the radio. I added in extra butt bumps for all of my friends.

Eventually I must have worn myself out screaming because the next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor of my bedroom wearing nothing but my underwear. My head hurt and I realize I had been laying on a stack of books. I sat up groggily and it was then that I heard a horrible sound from downstairs.

The loud sound was Mommy laughing at the top of her lungs. How dare she find anything to laugh about when I was so unhappy? I heard Andrew laughing too and that made me seethe with anger. Neither of them had any business laughing after what they had done earlier.

Quietly I opened the door to my bedroom and tiptoed downstairs. The laughter was coming from the direction of the living room. I slipped into the doorway unnoticed. Mommy was sitting on the sofa and Andrew was standing in front of the television. They were both laughing. Andrew looked ridiculous.

Why did Andrew look ridiculous? Well he was wearing Mommy's yellow yarn mop on his head and a purple dress that I had outgrown and Mommy was planning to give to the thrift store soon. He had on his own red flip flop sandals and was carrying an old purse of Mommy's in his hands. I wanted to rush in and attack him for wearing my old dress but I decided to wait and see if I could figure out what he was doing.

Andrew flashed Mommy a smile and said in a girl voice, "Oh Mommy, can I have a million dollars? I need my own rocket ship. I deserve it. If you do not have money we can sell Andrew for it."

Mommy laughed, "Oh Andrew, you are such an accurate impersonator."

Impersonator? Of who? I kept watching as Andrew twirled the purse around.

Andrew giggled, "Oh Mommy. My birthday is coming. Here is my present list with one thousand presents. I also want a six flags trip for my entire school and both of my families. Daddy is gigundo rich so he can charge it. Make sure to include the list of presents with the presents. Write: RSVP by sending a present."

"Haha, Andrew. That was so funny. Days like this we both need a laugh," Mommy kept laughing with Andrew.

Then it dawned on me that Andrew's impersonation was awfully familiar but I was not sure who he reminded me of. So far they had not spotted me at least so I continued to watch.

"Oh Andrew you baby brat, deliver these flyers for me. I will give you some cookie crumbs for spending all afternoon in the hot sun giving these to the big scary neighborhood kids. I will beat you up and throw your dinosaurs in the garbage if you do not." Andrew shook his behind at Mommy. I would have gotten a spanking for that.

Mommy just laughed, "Wow Andrew I cannot believe she made you do that."

I could not believe it. Andrew was making fun of me. I got ready to pounce on him but clueless Andrew kept prattling on.

"Oh Andrew I see you got a baby paintbrush in Neopets. Now send it to my account with all your neopoints immediately or I will beat you down," Andrew continues.

Suddenly I could not take it anymore. How dare he make fun of me? Besides I deserved those items in Neopets far more than Andrew did. I have been waiting for a baby paintbrush a lot longer than he has. Andrew was going too far. I did my tiger growl and charged into the room and tackled Andrew. I began shrieking at him as I yanked his hair and kicked him. Andrew cried and cried. I did not care though. I kept pummeling him until Mommy snapped out of her shock to pull me off of him.

Mommy sat on the floor restraining me in her lap but I kept kicking to get free. Andrew was wailing at the top of his lungs still. I had given him a bloody nose and hopefully a black eye it looked like.

Mommy put me in a headlock with one arm and reach over to stroke Andrew. "Poor Andy-Pandy. Are you okay honey?"

I was livid, "What about me? Why are you not asking if I am okay? Andrew really hurt my feelings and that is gigundoly unfair. Making fun of people is very unfair."

Mommy ignored me and kept talking to Andrew, "Sweetie, where does it hurt?"

"Mommy, my chest hurts. I cannot breath very good," Andrew whined.

Mommy lifted his shirt and put her free hand on his chest and began feeling around until Andrew screamed. "It hurts really bad right here."

"I think you might have a cracked rib. Karen I cannot believe you have done this. Now I need to take Andrew to the hospital. That is not very fair to him or to me. Andrew not being able to breathe is a very serious problem. You have hurt him very badly. I will go call a babysitter to come watch you Karen, so I can take Andrew without you." Mommy set me on the rug and scooped up Andrew.

"You are a big phony and a dummy, Andrew. I did not hurt you and you owe me an apology." I snapped at him.

Andrew and Mommy both ignored me. Mommy pulled out her cell phone and dialed, "Hi. Kristy? I know it is not a regular babysitter meeting time so I am calling you at home. I have an emergency here and I need a sitter for Karen as soon as possible. Do you know who might be free?"

Kristy must have hung up on Mommy to call someone after that but a few minutes later she called back and Mommy talked to her again. "Okay, Kristy. You say that Mallory Pike is free and her mom will run her over here as fast as she can. Thank you so much. Bye!"

Boo and bull frogs. I hate Nerdlory Pike almost as much as Chubbia Kishi. Mallory is a gigundo loser who tried to read me horrible stories she has written every time she comes over. She also likes to dress up in my Mommy's clothes and makeup and pretend she is a grownup. It is our little secret. I do not tell Mommy about Meanlory dressing up in her clothes if she does not tell Mommy about me beating her up and eating cake for dinner. It is a win-win situation. I still do not like her though. She is very annoying and not cool at all.

Mommy hung up the phone, "Karen, Mallory Pike will be here soon to babysit you while I take Andrew to the doctor. I will talk to Daddy and Seth when I get home so we can decide what a suitable punishment for breaking your little brother's ribs might be."

Ugh, another punishment I did not deserve. Life is gigundoly unfair.