Getting to Us Chapter 9
Sloan couldn't take it a moment longer. She hadn't call or texted or emailed Mackenzie all day Sunday. She was dying to know how the big date went.
Mac must have stayed over. She was certain of that. No way would Will would have let her go home! He probably spent the whole evening gazing at her, waiting to get her into bed. Sloan could figure that one out for herself. It was Sunday night, she had waited long enough.
Voicemail. Not fair! " Kenz, I'm waiting. …Call me!
SO? SPILL! She pressed send and started down at her screen.
Come on Mac…
Mac heard her phone vibrate and saw the caller ID. She let it go to voicemail.
She smiled when the text arrived.
"Will?"
"In here. Just checking on the chicken. Should be about done."
"It's Sloan. May I tell her?"
" Please can we have one more night of peace before we tell the world?"
"Not the world, just Sloan. "
Will chuckled. "Go ahead. But Mac, don't send her an email. We don't need eight hundred and fifty people knowing that we did it in the shower."
"Very funny."
ALL GOOD. WILL SAYS HI Xo M
Mac knew her text would send Sloan reeling. No details except that Will was close. by would make Sloan crazy! Anyway there would be no intimate details shared with anyone. Will was never a kiss and tell guy. In fact, in all the time she had been with him she had never heard him talk about any of the women who came before her except in passing.
Until now that is. The whole Erin mess was so unlike Will. He must have been so lonely and drinking enough to alter his consciousness. Mackenzie could not imagine Will having a 5 min conversation with Erin, let alone spending a week with her. He must look back now and wonder who that man was in St Lucia, Mac thought.
"Come and get it! And bring my wine glass from the coffee table please."
" Yes Sir!" Mac giggled, as Will pulled out her chair and waited for her to plop herself down.
"This looks amazing Will"
"Well you know what they say, the true test of a cook is a perfect roast chicken And there's plenty of veg because I know you love all that rabbit food."
" And because you need to start loving it too "
" I know, I know. Notice, no gravy, and mash potatoes with no butter. I bought that sour cream with no fat. We'll see how bad that tastes."
"Good boy! " After awhile you won't even miss the all that. You'll see."
"I hope you'll stay tonight Mac. I know you have to go home tomorrow and we have a big week ahead , but let's have one more night here first. I want us to wake up together as often as you want to."
" Hoping you would say that. I want to…often."
"Good, it's settled then"
" I'm going to call Abe in the morning"
"Already? You really are troubled about something Kenz"
" Yes"
"Does it have anything to do with what you were going to do tonight?"
Will eyes were searching hers.
"Yes it does "
" I knew you were hiding something "
" I know you did. I saw it in your face. "
"Where are we Mackenzie? Are we back to you hiding things?"
" No. I'm here and we're fine. I just need to talk to Abe first. Have some faith Will."
"You said 'you' want to talk to Abe, not 'we'…"
"I need to do this alone, at least at first."
"Ok, you can take my standing appointment. Tomorrow morning, 9am" He'll have to wait another day to hear about Erin. Lucky for him "
" Thanks. Now put it out of your head. It's my baggage and has nothing to do with how I feel about you. Can you believe that…please?
" I'll try"
Sometime later, in the middle of the night, Will woke up and watched Mackenzie sleep. The site of her curled up in his bed sleeping soundly felt like a miracle to him.
They had made love slowly and tenderly, different from the urgent passion of the night before, or the playful athletic sex in the shower. It was deeply satisfying for him. He understood now that he had never disconnected from her. All those years that she was gone, he never let go of her. When he wasn't loving her, he was hating her.
And when she came home and he was finally able to let go of his anger, his love for her came rushing back like a tidal wave. Dr Hadad had helped him get there. He hoped that Abe could help Mackenzie too.
Monday morning in the newsroom was always a little slower then usual. People tended to come in quietly, still recovering from the weekend's activities. So when Sloan banged loudly on Will's office door well before 9, he was startled.
" Good morning! Where is Mackenzie?"
" Good morning Sloan. Why am I not surprised that it's you?"
" Come on Will. She didn't answer her phone this morning, and she's not here."
" Gee Sloan, you noticed it too. Wasn't that the line? Relax; she'll be in soon but do me a favour and don't grill her. She's dealing with stuff of her own and we would love to some privacy. Can you give us that?"
" But she's fine, and you're fine – right?"
"More than fine, and that's all your getting. Now get out of here"
The grin on Will's face answered most of Sloan's questions.
Mackenzie waited in Dr Hadad waiting room nervously scrolling through her emails on her Blackberry. She has not met Abe before now, but felt like she knew him.
" Good morning Ms. Mchale. I'm Dr Abraham Habib. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."
"Good morning and thank-you for seeing me."
Mackenzie sat in a well-used leather chair and thought of Will sitting here in the same chair for all those hours. It comforted her to think about him here. She felt her nerves ease a little.
" Will called me early this morning to ask that I see you. The ethics of the situation are this: I would be happy to treat you because Will is comfortable with it. The rules of patient confidentiality will be strictly upheld Mackenzie. I won't be sharing Will's conversations with me, nor ours with him."
" I understand completely and I'm comfortable with that."
" So…you and Will seem to have found a good place, together. I am very happy to hear that."
" Me too. It's a second chance for us, and I know how lucky I am to have that chance with Will. Did he tell you why I'm here?"
" Let's just deal with what you have to tell me. Why are you here Mackenzie?"
" There is something that I need to tell Will, and I don't know how to do it."
" Because you believe that your news will upset him?"
"Yes,"
"Why don't you start by telling me"?
Mackenzie looked down at her hands to pause for a few seconds. When she looked back up at Dr Hadad, there were tears streaming down her face.
" When I was imbedded I was hurt."
" I heard about the stabbing. I was very sorry to hear that. It must have been both traumatic and terrifying for you."
" Yes, but I mean a different kind of hurt. I was raped and beaten repeatedly during one terrible night while I was being held captive. "
" I'm so sorry Mackenzie. Can you go on?"
"When I was released from the hospital I went home to my parent's house in London to recuperate. I had wonderful therapists who helped me and I really can say that I am fine now. Of course there are nightmares, at first often, but now – rarely. For me, it's become like the stabbing- a physical injury that is healed now. I am one of the lucky ones, and I know that."
"Brave would be a better choice of words to describe you. You're right to want to tell Will . And you're concerned about how to do it?"
"Yes. But it's become urgent that I do, because I have started to lie to him about something that I do many evenings and sometimes late at night, that is important to me. I don't want to lie to him, ever again."
"And what is that?"
" I work with women and children who are victims of domestic abuse. I work at shelters and safe houses. I have to tell Will where I go and why sometimes I'm busy and why I might need to leave some nights, and go out very late.
" I will help you Mackenzie. Your news will affect Will deeply, which I see that you understand, but you must also know that he is strong and has borne the suffering and abuse of his mother, and his siblings as well as his own suffering as a child and he will be able to bear yours. You should to prepare yourself for his reaction and I hope I can help you to do that."
" Thank-you Abe"
"Let's talk a little more about you. Has this made intimacy more difficult for you?"
No and especially not with Will. Not for a second."
" Good. And emotionally, how does your work at the shelter affect you?"
"It's heartbreaking to see what abuse can do to people, especially the children. But it's so healing for me to be able to help. I chose to go to a war zone, and as a women I knew that I was at risk, and I am an adult, and most of all, my attackers were strangers. I did not see their faces. They were not my husband or my father. That has to be a hundred times worse."
"Does anyone outside of your immediate family know about what happed to you?"
"Only one person who was over there with me and we have pact that it's "in the vault" as we like to say.
With that, Dr Hadad hugged Mackenzie and asked her to come back, with Will.
He would arrange the appointment for the two of them.
She went first to Will's office and knocked softly. She closed the door behind her
so she could hug him.
" Are you ok? Did Abe help"?
" Yes very much. Everything is going to be fine. I promise"
" That's the best news you could give me"
" Come on Will, don't be late for the pitch meeting .We have work to do and by the way, there will be no kissing in the office. Is that underst…"
The best way to shut Mackenzie up was to kiss her.