I'm not sure why the first part posted without breaks in scenes - I apologize. But on to part two...
Ryan heard the music from a distance. He was in that state in between dreaming and waking where the outside world filtered through his subconscious. Slowly, he came to wakefulness, searching for the source and realized it was coming from his cell phone. Before it could stop its incessant song, Ryan flipped it open. "Hello," he whispered sleepily.
"Ryan, it's Amanda -"
"Amanda, what time is it? Is everything okay?"
"It's your brother. He's being taken to Pine Valley Hospital."
Ryan was now sitting up straight in bed. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"He's having seizures - lots of them. They can't stop them." Her voice broke despite the effort she was taking to control it.
Ryan was already out from beneath the covers and throwing on some jeans. "I'm on my way." He pulled on yesterday's shirt as he leaned in to wake up Annie.
She rolled over, blinking the sleep from her eyes. "I heard. Is everything okay?"
"It's Jonathan...They're taking him to the hospital." Ryan sounded slightly out of breath. He didn't know if it was from the sudden flurry of activity or from shock. Given his physical fitness, the latter seemed like a pretty safe bet.
Annie peered up at Ryan. "What is it? What's wrong?" She unknowingly echoed the questions he had asked Amanda mere seconds ago.
"Amanda said he's having seizures." Ryan threw on a watch and scooped up his wallet. "I'll call you when I know something."
Ryan hesitated briefly, but Annie snapped him out of it. "Ryan, it's your brother. Go. Go!" Annie watched until he was safely out the door. She sat up and flipped on the tv. There was no way she was going back to sleep. Worry pricked at the corners of her mind.
She had come to care for Jonathan quite a bit, almost as much as Ryan. She understood the fierce, protective love Ryan had for him; she had felt it too. They had already lost their sister. If anything ever happened to Jonathan... She said a silent prayer for both of them.
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Ryan came running through the ER bay, nearly colliding with Amanda. "Amanda, where is he? Is he okay? Can I see him?"
Amanda answered his stream of questions by simply pointing her finger towards the room in the corner. Ryan walked solemnly up to the window and stared in horror at the sight before him. Jonathan's body bucked and arched against the bed, his head twisting at unnatural angles as one of the nurses struggled to keep the tube down his throat in place. The curtain was abruptly pulled shut, but before it was, Ryan got a glimpse of his brother's clothes being cut off.
The door opened and he caught some of the frantic words streaming out. "The Ativan's not working. I need some IV Dilantin stat!" The voices faded as the door swung shut.
Ryan pressed a hand to the glass wishing he could be with his brother. He had been on this side of the glass before with Jonathan and it never got any easier.
"Ryan," Josh laid a hand on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan only half-turned, one eye on the closed curtain.
"Is he going to be okay?"
"They're trying to get his seizures under control right now. They're having some difficulty..."
Ryan knew the question needed to be asked, but he was afraid of the answer. "What caused them?"
Josh spoke in a hushed tone, aware of what was on all of their minds. "That's what they're trying to figure out."
"What could it be?"
"Lots of things. Infection. A head injury -"
"Another brain tumor," Ryan finished for him.
Josh nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, that is a possibility." Ryan's head dropped when the words were spoken aloud. "But a recurrence of a benign tumor is extremely rare."
"But not impossible?"
Any further discussion was halted when Jonathan was wheeled out. "Well, the seizures appeared to have stopped. That's something," Josh offered what comfort he could.
"Where are they taking him?"
"Probably to get a CAT scan," Josh speculated.
Joe Martin exited the room on the heels of the gurney. "Joe. Joe, can I see him for a minute?"
Dr. Martin removed his glasses and indicated to the medical team to stop. "Just one minute, Ryan. We need to get a scan of his head."
Without responding, Ryan leaned over the rails of the gurney. He gripped Jonathan's hand in his own, mindful of the IV line and pulse ox monitor. He reached up to stroke his hair, but was stopped by the tube in his brother's throat helping him to breathe. "I'm here, Hockett. Everything's going to be okay." Ryan's vision blurred with his tears. He blinked furiously to clear his vision. He couldn't believe they were somehow here again.
"Ryan, we have to take him down now," Dr. Martin stated gently.
"Okay. Hockett, I'll be here when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere." Ryan had trouble getting the feel of Jonathan's clammy, ashen skin against his out of his head as he watched his brother being wheeled off. His heart was filled with dread as he settled in for a long night of waiting.
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Ryan started out of the chair when he felt the tap on his shoulder. He squinted with one eye against the sunlight at Amanda. "He's waking up."
Instantly, Ryan came to attention. He sat up and was relieved to see Jon's blue eyes staring back at him questioningly. "Hockett..."
Jonathan's hands tried to find their way up to his face. Ryan reached out to keep his hands away from the endotracheal tube until he realized they were already held by restraints. Jonathan came to this realization too and began fighting violently against the restraints.
"Shhh, Hockett. Shhh," Ryan attempted to calm his brother down to no avail. "Alright, alright." Jonathan continued to tug at the restraints, the bedframe creaking in protest..
Ryan grabbed both his brother's hand in his own. Jonathan's strength surprised him and he constantly had to readjust his grip. "Amanda, can you go get the doctor please?"
Amanda was unsettled by the sight, but turned and left to do as Ryan asked.
"Hockett, settle down. Please. It's okay." Ryan smoothed his hair back and continued to shush him. His hands slid up to the restraints locked around his brother's wrist and he strained to release them. Finally, Jonathan's left hand popped free and he visibly relaxed. "Okay, let me get the other one."
Ryan reached over him and freed the other hand. He kept his hands over Jonathan's to prevent him from reaching up towards the tube. He met his brother's eyes. He recognized the look of relief and thanks that washed over him.
The elder Lavery scooted closer. He laid a hand on the side of Jonathan's face. "What happened, Hockett?"
Jonathan's eyes flitted to the machines and then back to Ryan. He held his gaze for a second, but then his eyelashes fluttered wildly. Ryan's heart leapt in his throat, fearing another round of seizures. Jonathan blinked hard as a single tear made a trail down past his ear.
Ryan's head dropped. He hated to see any one he loved in pain, but there was something about seeing his younger brother vulnerable and helpless that cut him to his very core. He supposed there would always be a part of him that wanted to protect the man that he could not protect as a little boy. So far he felt he had failed miserably.
The door swung open with a whoosh. "I hear Jonathan's awake." Dr. Martin stepped up to the foot of the bed, eyeing the monitors. He checked the settings on the ventilator and seemed to ponder the readings. "I think we can safely take the tube out. Ryan, maybe you should wait outside."
"Yeah, okay. Hockett, I'm going to be right back okay?" Jonathan's eyes trailed him out the door.
Amanda pulled Ryan aside in the hallway. "What the hell was that? Why was Jonathan freaking out?" Her worry came across angrier than she meant it to.
"He just doesn't like being restrained, that's all." The weariness was showing through in his voice.
"That was a lot more than just being a bit uncomfortable with being tied down."
"What answer are you looking for?" All the strain of the past twelve hours came crashing down on his shoulders. "You really want to know why? Ever since our father decided to tie Jonathan up and beat him for sport, or lock him the closet, he's been a little wary of being tied down. And when he got tired of that game, some mornings he would wake Jonathan up by smothering him with a pillow until he passed out or nearly drowning him in the shower. And that's just the stuff I know about. Isn't that enough," Ryan spat out.
Amanda recoiled as if struck. Ryan instantly felt bad for the baggage he dumped on her. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's just..."
The fire faded out of her eyes. She placed a comforting hand on his arm. "I understand. Where Jonathan's concerned I guess we both feel a little protective of him."
Ryan didn't have an opportunity to respond as Dr. Joe came out of Jonathan's room. "We were able to successfully remove the breathing tube. His numbers are all staying up on the oxygen. But we do want to keep him here for a couple more days for observation."
Joe led Ryan over to the waiting area. "His CAT scan came back." Ryan tensed awaiting the results. "There's some scar tissue from where the tumor was removed, but there is no tumor there."
The tension slid out of his shoulders. "Is the scar tissue - is that what caused the seizures?"
"No, there's not enough there to be significant. But we did find a few things that concerned us. The Dilantin level in his blood was near zero. I'll have to consult with the neurologist, but according to my records he should still be taking it."
"Dilantin?" Ryan was searching for the reason behind the medication, but at that moment it eluded him.
"It's the anti-seizure medication he was put on to prevent seizures. Now Jonathan hasn't had seizures in quite some time, and it looked like he was going to be weaned off of it soon. But if it's abruptly stopped it can actually cause seizures."
Ryan let this information sink in. "So you think maybe Jon took it upon himself to just stop taking it?"
"That's a distinct possibility. Right now his levels are nearing therapeutic, and if he stays on the medication I don't think the seizures will recur. But that leads me to the other problem. His electrolytes were all out of wack. Has he been eating?"
Ryan slumped down, defeated. "I, um...I'm not really sure."
Amanda spoke up. "No, not really. I've been practically force feeding him, but he eats less than Emma or Kathy. And sometimes when he does eat, it doesn't always stay down." Amanda looked down embarrassed, remembering the sandwich incidence. "I should've said something sooner."
Ryan placed his hand atop hers. "You couldn't have known." He turned to the older doctor. "So what do we do for him?"
"We're replacing his electrolytes, but that's only a temporary fix. He needs to start taking better care of himself."
"But he's going to be okay?"
"Given a little time, I'd say he'll recover just fine. He might be a little out of sorts for the next few days given all the seizures."
"Just out of - just out of curiosity, how many seizures..." Ryan couldn't complete the question. He wasn't even sure he wanted to know the answer.
Dr. Martin sighed. "The EEG shows eight continuous seizures. And he had a small one down in CT."
"Nine seizures," Amanda squeaked out.
"I've got to go hunt down that neurologist," Joe excused himself.
"Thanks, Joe," he stammered out. Ryan stood dumbfounded for a moment. His brother had nine seizures! How could this have happened? How could he not have noticed Jon was losing weight and not eating? Not taking his medicine? He didn't even realize Jon still took medicine. The tumor was a distant, yet painful memory.
Ryan stepped through the door and let his eyes rest on the now-sleeping form of his little brother. A lump formed in his throat as he realized just how many warning signs he missed - or chose not to see. "I'm so sorry, Hockett," he whispered.
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When Aidan entered the hospital room, Jonathan was already dressed and reclining on the bed. "Hey mate, you ready to go?"
Jonathan's eyes narrowed slightly. "Almost. They haven't s-sprung me yet. Where's Ryan?"
"He got called away sorta unexpectedly on that business venture you two were working on. He asked me to fill in. I thought he said he told you."
"He might have. The last couple days are sort of...fuzzy."
For the first time Aidan noticed just how pale and small his friend looked. The bed practically seemed to swallow him. Aidan took a seat next to the bed. "Listen, Jonny...I'm sorry I was giving you a hard time about Ava. I'm just worried is all."
Jonathan seemed to consider this. "I'm sorry too." He let out a large sigh and adjusted his position. "You were right, you know."
"That doesn't make me feel any better."
"You know you want to tell me 'I told you so'."
Aidan broke into a grin. He was stopped from going on by the entrance of the nurse, followed by Amanda. "Somebody here need some walking papers?" Amanda waved them coquettishly around.
"Listen, I'm going to go bring the car around." Aidan grabbed a few things and left.
Jonathan signed the last of the paperwork, looking up into Amanda's radiant face. "Why are you smiling?"
"You're coming home. And speaking of that." She patted the seat of the wheelchair.
Jonathan groaned, but he knew there was no use protesting. "Since when do they let you drive?"
"Since I bribed them."
"Hahaha. Very funny," Jonathan said wryly.
"Seriously, I wanted to talk to you." Amanda came around and sat on the edge of the bed facing Jonathan.
"Well, I'm pretty much a captive audience, so..."
"You scared me, Jonathan."
Jonathan ran his fingers through his hair briskly and cocked his head to the side, meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. You know that, right?"
Amanda returned his gaze. "Of course I know that. But what happened?"
Unable to look Amanda in the eye, Jonathan's eyes flew guiltily around the room.. "I guess I forgot to take my meds."
"Forgot, or chose not to?"
"Amanda -"
"Look, I'm not trying to lecture you, but you and I both know that you've never forgotten. "
"I was being taken off them anyway."
Amanda laid her hand atop his. Jonathan glanced down at their hands, looking up only when she spoke. "You're smarter than that, Jonathan. You knew what would happen, didn't you?"
Jonathan looked away sheepishly. He didn't deny it, but he didn't confirm it either. And Amanda didn't force the issue. She could read the exhaustion on his face, despite his efforts to conceal it.
"I just want you to take better care of yourself. Whether you know it or not, people care about you - even if you don't care about yourself."
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Amanda's words echoed in his head the whole way home. On some level, he knew she was right. He should take better care of himself and pay attention to the damage he was doing. But the awful truth was, if he was completely honest, he didn't give a damn anymore what happened to him. There were times in his childhood when he had prayed for one final blow or the pillow to be held just a little longer, just so he could be released from that prison. It could finally be over. But it was never over, and he wasn't sure it would ever be.
Now he lived in a prison he partially helped create. He had killed four people and done other unspeakable things. Whether he was held responsible by others or not, he could not let himself off the hook that easily. He had to live with his past everyday, if one could call it living.
Although he knew there were people that cared for him - Ryan, Amanda, Annie to name a few - he could not reconcile reality with his disbelief that he was worthy of that concern and love. He had fucked up almost every important relationship he had ever had. It wasn't so much self-destruction as it was fear.
Every time he opened himself up and put his complete faith in someone, they left. Ryan left him when he was younger. Lily left him because he had hidden his recovery from her, never mind the fact that she couldn't accept him for who he was. And Erin - Erin was cruelly ripped out of his life. The one person who had never let him down... Now who could he turn to? He was tired of being left behind with only his demons to keep him company.
He was too tired for the level of self-analysis that was running through his head. It was a relief to pull up to Wildwind and be engulfed by his concerned roommates.
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Di pulled the curtain aside when she heard the gravel crunching underneath the tires. She watched with interest as Aidan exited the driver's side and pulled some bags out of the trunk. Amanda climbed out of the backseat and opened the passenger door that Jonathan appeared to be having some trouble with.
Jonathan pulled himself up shakily, leaning heavily on the door for support. Amanda offered her arm, but he brushed it away. She refused to take no for an answer and gripped his arm anyway. Di was amused by this as it was a metaphor for their whole relationship.
"What's up, sis?"
Del had come up behind her and she let the curtain drop back into place. "Jonathan's home," she said simply.
"Dude, he looks awful!"
"Del," Di warned. "Why don't you do something useful and see if they need any help." Del just shrugged and did as he was told, and nearly collided with Jamie as he entered the foyer.
The door swung open, aided by Aidan's foot. Del grabbed a bag that had fallen to the floor. Jonathan made his way up the steps, planting each foot carefully as Amanda gently guided him.
The six of them stood awkwardly in the foyer, no one sure of exactly what to say. Jonathan stood with his arms protectively hugging himself, aware all eyes were on him. He was at a loss for words.
The silence was broken by Julia as she came down the stairs. "Why is everyone standing in the doorway? Is there some secret meeting I didn't know about?" It took her a second before she caught sight of Jonathan. "Oh. Well...Don't just stand there. Let him get in the door."
Jonathan looked up at Julia gratefully. "Th-thanks," he stammered. He gave a half-wave. "Hi." It was lame, but all he could think of to say.
The group slowly adjourned into the living room. Amanda hung back. "Do you want to go upstairs and lie down? Or maybe get something to eat?"
"No, thank you though."
"Well, we were going to have one of our legendary game nights. You're welcome to join us if you feel up to it," Jamie offered.
"Maybe I could just watch?"
Jamie slung an arm around Jonathan's shoulder. "That's totally okay, as long as you don't mind being the official spinner during the Twister game."
"I think I can manage that," Jonathan gave a sideways grin as he slowly came down the steps into the living room. He looked for a place to sit and decided on the couch.
Amanda returned with a small cup of soup, the steam leaving a ethereal trail behind her. She held it out to Jonathan. "Please eat something."
"Amanda..."
"Jonathan, I'm not taking no for an answer." She place the cup in his hand. "You will eat this or I'll take you back to the hospital myself."
Jon looked recalcitrant, but he accepted the cup. Amanda started off to join the others, but she gave one more glance back. Jonathan put the cup up to his lips and sipped, but as she turned away he lowered it again.
Even though he was too worn out to participate, he was content to be a spectator to all the fun. These were the types of interactions he had ached for as a little kid, and it was refreshing to watch.
Jonathan almost laughed out loud at an argument that ensued over an illegal move Amanda felt Del had made. "You can't do that," she protested.
"Yeah, who says?"
Amanda picked up the box. "Mattel," she pointed out.
"Gimme that!"
"No way! You knew the rules and you broke them."
"Now who's not playing fair?"
"It's for your own good."
"It's for your own good, Jonny," his father sneered at him. "This time I'm gonna teach you a lesson that'll stick."
Jonathan trembled at the sight of the belt being drawn. "Please, daddy. I didn't do it. I swear."
"You're a little liar on top of being a thief." His father advanced on him menancingly, the belt swinging back and forth in his hands. The light glinted off the belt buckle as it swayed.
"No, Ryan gave me those gloves." Jonathan threw up his hands protectively in anticipation of the blows to come.
"Liar!" Patrick doubled the belt and snapped it loudly.
Jonathan shook his head fervently, knowing it was futile. He closed his eyes waiting for the pain to begin.
"And - don't - you - EVER - mention - your - brother's - name - again!" Each word was punctuated by the slap of the belt against Jonathan's back.
"Please stop, daddy. Please stop. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm sorry. Please stop. Please..."
"Jonathan?" Di gently shook his shoulder and got no response. "Are you alright?"
"Oh God, maybe he's having seizures again," Jamie worried.
Amanda took the cup that was leaning dangerously in his hand. "I've seen his seizures and this isn't it. Trust me."
"Yo, Jon!" Del clapped his hands loudly in front of his face.
Jonathan gasped and jumped higher on the couch. "Moron," Di chided Del quietly.
"Jonathan, are you okay?" Julia placed a concerned hand on his arm.
He nodded shakily. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." He crossed his arms to hide his trembling hands.
"Dude, you were like a million miles away."
"I'm sorry," Jonathan muttered, wiping a line of sweat off his upper lip and quickly recrossing his arms. "Maybe I'm more tired than I thought," he excused.
Amanda smiled sympathetically. "Let's get you up to bed then." She gently unwrapped the blanket from around his legs and helped him to stand. She placed a hand on his back, and guided him to the stairs. He barely seemed to notice, but Amanda did not fail to register the cold sweat that soaked through his shirt.
She tried to give a reassuring smile over her shoulder to the rest of the group, but it felt false, even to her.
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"Uncle Jon!" Emma threw her arms around his neck in greeting as he lifted her up and carried her to the table.
Annie quickly rose out of her chair and offered to take Emma. "It's okay, Annie. I got her."
"I know you do, but maybe you should take it easy for awhile."
"It's been more than a week. I'm fine," Jonathan stated matter-of-factly as he lowered Emma into her seat. He greeted his brother with a hug.
Ryan seemed to linger a little longer in the hug than he normally did. Jon extricated himself and frowned at the way he was being scrutinized. "I'm okay. Really," Jonathan tried to reassure him.
The elder Lavery snapped out of his thoughts and clapped a hand on Jonathan's shoulder. He winced inwardly at the rigid feel of bone against his hand. "Let's order. Whaddya say?"
Jonathan shrugged, relieved to be out from under the microscope for the time being. He opened his menu, pretending to study it. In reality, he knew what he wanted - nothing. His minuscule appetite had been reduced to nothing after being pumped full of medications. It wasn't until he saw Ryan staring intently at him that he noticed the slight fluttering of the menu, caused by his shaking hands. Another wonderful side effect of the medication. At least, he blamed it on the medication.
He refused to offer any explanation to his brother, ignoring his questioning eyes. Emma was trying to get his attention. It was a welcome diversion from the poorly hidden sidelong glances between Annie and Ryan.
The whole meal proved no less awkward. Jonathan alternated pushing food around his plate and dodging the disapproving glance of his older brother. He leaned back with a heavy sigh. Just as he was reaching for his water a resounding crash echoed from the back . His body jerked in surprise, spilling the contents of the water glass.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh my God. I'm so sorry." Jonathan scrambled to mop up the pooling water. "I'm sorry -"
"Hockett. Hockett, it's okay."
Jonathan's eyes seemed focused beyond the table. Annie felt a pit grow in her stomach as she looked into the guilt-ridden face of her brother-in-law. "Emma, sweetie, why don't you go play some of those video games?" Annie handed her a handful of quarters, instructing her to stay where she could be seen.
Jonathan went on with his apologies. "It's just water, Hockett. It's okay. But YOU are not okay."
Jonathan blinked and seemed to come back into himself. "Yes. No. I'm fine, Ryan. Really."
Annie laid her hand on his still-trembling one. The iciness of his hand surprised her. "Jonathan, please tell us what's going on with you. We're really worried about you."
"You don't normally freak out over spilling a glass of water. So what gives?"
"The crash...it just scared me is all."
"You're shaking."
"I've been shaking all evening. I thought you had noticed as much as you were looking at my hands."
Ryan dropped his head, knowing he was caught by his brother's keen sense of observation. "Yeah, I've been wondering what that's about."
"Medication." Jonathan did not elaborate.
Ryan leaned forward on both elbows. "Okay, that explains the shaking, but what about going overboard on the apologies?"
"I overreacted. It's nothing. I'm fine." Jonathan pushed aside the water-soaked napkins in disgust.
"Jonathan you are NOT fine," Ryan insisted.
"I wish everyone would stop telling me how I am instead of taking my word for it."
"No offense, Hockett, but I don't believe you."
"That's your choice."
Annie watched the volley with growing concern. She understood her husband's worry for she felt it too, but the more he interrogated Jonathan, the more he pushed him away. She wanted to stop Ryan from going on, but she sensed that if she stepped in on her brother-in-law's behalf it would only further anger him. He was still capable of defending himself.
"I think you need -"
"I think you need to stop," Jonathan's voice carried a warning tone.
"Jon-"
"I'm done here." Jonathan rose abruptly and walked out without a goodbye, uncustomary for him.
Ryan rubbed his hands over his face and sat back with a sigh. "My brother's in trouble."
"I know," was all Annie could say.
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Jonathan tried to slip inconspicuously into the Confusion office. He hadn't been there in several weeks and he felt guilty knowing Amanda had shouldered a large part of the responsibility. Besides, work would be a welcome distraction from all the chaos of his life.
He reached into the file cabinet and took out some papers with the intention of catching up on the books. The files were in disarray and it took him a minute to sort through them . He finally settled on one and picked it up. A rectangle object slid out and floated to the floor.
Jonathan bent down to retrieve it and knew immediately from the feel of it that it was a photograph. He turned it over and his breath caught in his throat. The picture had lain in the drawer forgotten until now. It was a picture of the two of them ice skating two winters ago. Ryan must have taken it and caught them unawares, Erin's features frozen in mid-laugh at what he presumed was something he said.
He turned the photograph over once again and made out Erin's flowery lettering: "A happy memory -here's to many more." She finished it with her signature smiley face. Jonathan lovingly traced the edge with his fingertip, longing for the clock to rewind to that day.
The door opened with a loud bang, jarring him out of his reverie. "Jonathan, what are you doing here?"
"Kendall, I, um - I figured I would help catch up on some paperwork. I know Amanda must be swamped."
Kendall skirted around the table and approached the desk. She got a glimpse of the photograph Jonathan was still clutching. She smiled sadly at him knowing where his mind was. "That's a great picture."
Unaware he was still holding on to it, Jonathan glanced down. Once he realized it remained in his hand he dropped it as if it were on fire. "Yeah, sorry about that. I really did come here with the intention of balancing the books."
"Are you sure you should be here?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, it's hasn't been that long..." Kendall trailed off, unsure of how to finish.
Jonathan sighed and shifted in the chair. "It's been long enough."
Kendall looked wary. "Jonathan - "
Jonathan stood up. "I'm fine. See, I'm standing upright and everything."
"Frankly, you look like hell."
"Thanks," he said sarcastically. "Despite what everyone thinks, I am capable of doing this job."
"No one said you weren't capable. You and Amanda have single-handedly kept this place afloat. Maybe you need more time -"
"I don't need more time," he spat out. "What I need is for everyone to stop treating me with kid gloves and let me get on with my life."
"The holidays are coming up -"
"Our busiest time of year."
"Yes," Kendall conceded, " but I think it would be better if maybe you waited until after the holidays to come back."
Jonathan's eyes narrowed to slits. "I see what this is about. You've been talking to Ryan, haven't you," he accused.
Kendall averted his gaze and dodged the question. "You have a lot of vacation time you haven't used. I want you to use it now."
Jonathan clenched his jaw. "Fine. Whatever you want."
He breezed past her. "Jonathan...," she called after him, but he was already out the door.
"Well, I handled that well."
Kendall went about the task of straightening up the files. She wasn't even halfway through the pile when Amanda came storming in. "I just saw Jonathan. What the hell happened?"
"I sent him home."
"What? You fired him? You can't do that! He was sick! So help me I will walk right out that door if -"
"Amanda," Kendall raised her voice to talk over her. "I didn't fire him. I told him to take more time off. He didn't take it well."
Amanda stood with her hands on her hips. "I know Jonathan may not be one hundred percent yet, but he can do the paperwork. He's going stir crazy sitting at home."
"If it was just his physical health I wouldn't be so worried, but it's more than that according to Ryan."
"He's doing a lot better," Amanda didn't sound convincing, even to herself.
"Ryan thinks, and I happen to agree, that it might be best if Jonathan wasn't around the place where his sister was murdered about this time last year. He doesn't need any more to stress his system out."
Amanda let her arms drop to the side. "You may be right, but I think maybe we should let Jonathan decide what he can or cannot handle."
"That didn't work too well the last time." Kendall let her skepticism show through.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"After Erin was murdered he was a bit of a loose cannon, wouldn't you say? He went off on random customers."
"And how exactly, may I ask, would you react?"
"I don't know," Kendall admitted. "But I sure wouldn't hang around the place to find out."
"You and I both know that isn't true. Who came into work the very next day after both Simone and Erin," Amanda called her on her misdirection.
"Yeah, but I'm not Jonathan."
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The dry leaves crunched underfoot as they scattered in the blustery fall wind. Emma bounded up the steps, balancing her package precariously.
"Be careful, sweetie!"
"What made you decide to start baking," Ryan teased.
"I didn't want to show up empty handed."
Ryan gave her a knowing smile and entered the foyer. "Happy Thanksgiving everyone!"
His greeting was returned warmly. Ryan scanned the room looking at all the familiar faces, but there was only one that he was concerned with. He hadn't seen much of his brother since that day in the restaurant. He didn't know which one was avoiding the other, but in the end it didn't matter. All he cared about was his brother's well being.
Finally, his brother emerged carrying a tray of assorted snacks. As he passed the fireplace, a large knot of wood gave a loud pop eliciting a flinch from Jonathan. Ryan was pretty sure he was the only one who had seen.
Jonathan's mouth turned up at the corners, but the smile did not quite reach his eyes as he caught sight of his brother. He set the tray on an empty table and crossed the room. "Ryan."
Ryan was mildly surprised when his brother embraced him. "Hockett," he began.
"Don't. It's done," Jonathan assured him, pulling back.
Ryan knew better than to pursue it any further. Jonathan was quick to anger, but usually didn't hold a grudge. "Happy Thanksgiving, man."
"Same to you." Jonathan took a deep breath and broke out of the awkward moment. "Do you guys want something to drink? Word on the street is I can mix up a mean -"
"No, thanks. We just came from Kendall's"
"Oh, right. How was Thanksgiving with Spike?"
"Well, besides having more mashed potatoes wind up in his hair than in his mouth, it was pretty good."
"I hope you guys saved some room. Julia was pretty excited about hosting the dinner this year."
"I promise I will fall into a food coma by the time I'm done." Ryan silently chided himself for the imagery he used. It wasn't that long ago Jonathan was nearly comatose. If Jonathan heard, it didn't seem to phase him.
Amanda let out a loud yelp from the vicinity of the kitchen. Jonathan chuckled. "I think that's my cue. I promised I'd help."
As soon as Jonathan disappeared around the corner, Annie sauntered over to her husband. "He looks...better."
"Yeah," was his monosyllabic reply.
"He's got more color and he looks like he's gained a little weight," Annie offered.
"It's the layers." Annie looked puzzled so Ryan explained. "It's an old trick both of us used. To hide the bruises, the swelling, the cuts. If you wore a couple layers of clothes other people couldn't see the bandages. I suppose it works for weight loss too."
"How do you know that's what he's doing?"
"Because I taught him that trick."