A/N- Ok, someone pointed out to me that I didn't have any chapter breaks, and I then proceeded to curse my self out for the next 5 minutes. So, as thanks, I updated early. Sorry for any confusion! Also, I've decided that this story's theme song is Unwell by Matchbox 20. Listen to the song after you read this chapter, and you'll know why.
"Oh, okay." We begin to walk, and when we get to the side walk I start to speak.
"You know the original story, right?"
She nods. "Ok then, well, when God created the animals, he gave them all one job, and one special ability so that they could do that job."
Horse, God said. You will get strength so that you can help man do what he can't do alone. Dog, you will get loyalty, so that you can provide man a friend even in the darkest of times. God went around the circle, giving each animal a special ability. He stopped when he got to Jaguar. Jaguar, he said. I give you strength equal to mine. You will serve me, and enforce my will. The Jaguar humbly accepted this honor, bowing deeply. I thank you lord, he said, but his mind was reeling with ways he could use this power to his advantage. The power of a God! Now that was truly a unique gift. God then announced the banquet, promising all the animals it would be tomorrow. There will be a race, he added. Whoever gets there first, will get a prize first. The animals were excited. They all hurried home so that tomorrow they would be well rested. While the mischievous Rat told the Cat that the banquet date was changed, the Jaguar was doing something much more…productive. The Jaguar was setting all kinds of tricks and traps for the other animals, ensuring that he would be first tomorrow. When his work was done, he returned home, smiling smugly to himself. The next morning, he awoke to find all the animals had fallen for the tricks. Naturally, he got to the banquet first. He walks in confidently, his head and tail high, his ears pricked. I win, he stated smugly. I get the prize. No, you didn't, God corrected. The race was not only a test of speed, but a test of character. I'm afraid I have to ban you from the table. But…I… the Jaguar stammers. Then the Rat walks through the door. Ah, Rat, God said happily, greeting the Rat as though he were an old friend. Anger boils inside of the Jaguar, and he stalks out in the same manner he came in. The Jaguar searched out the Cat, nursing a dirty plan to life in his mind. Cat, they don't want us! The Jaguar growled. Help me get revenge on them! Maybe then God will give us seats at the table! But the Cat refused. Fine, the Jaguar snarled. I'll do it myself! The Jaguar later snuck himself onto the banquet. He put a poison he made into the soup of God and the Rat, since he had taken the Jaguar's spot. He then waited patiently for the poison to work. He waited, and he waited, but it never worked. Eventually, he grew impatient. He finally leapt from his hiding spot, snarling. Why isn't it working, he roared, you should be dead! God calmly rose from his chair. It didn't work because our spirits are intertwined, he explained. My strength is your strength, but your strength is also my strength. The Jaguar suddenly realized he was feeling rather queasy. Leave, God said, and never come back. The Jaguar snarled and then ran away far into the outlands. He nursed himself back to health, but no one ever saw him again. Only one ever saw him, the Cat. But the animals could always tell how he was doing by studying God's health. Sometimes, God would fall particularly ill, and some believed that it was because the Jaguar was harming himself, and that the Jaguar was still bent on revenge.
"So," I concluded. "That's the story of the Jaguar, and why I'm not a true zodiac."
Tohru was silent.
"Come on, I know you have some questions. Talk to me." I urged.
"Is… Is there a God spirit?" she asked tentatively.
"Yeah, the head of our family, Akito."
"So, do you and Akito…"
"Have our spirits intertwined like in the story?" I finish. "Yes, in a way. The way it works is kind of like a scale." I raise my hands to demonstrate.
"When he is healthy, I'm not. When I'm healthy, he's not." I raise my left hand and lower my right, then vice versa.
"I see." She says, but I can tell she wants to ask me, but she doesn't want to pry. I volunteer the information instead.
"It's very dangerous. Should one person get too healthy, and the other one die, the healthy person would die, as well because he would hold two spirits energy instead of one."
"Oh."
For the first time, I realize the school looms over us.
"I'll see you in class, Tohru." I say, waving.
"Bye, Nimian!" she calls, happy and full of life once more. I let out all my breath in a huge whoosh of air. That went much better than I had thought. I had expected to be shunned, ostracized, even though I knew full well that Tohru would never do that. It was my own personal fears and insecurities. 'Abandonment issues' as Hatori liked to call them.
"Yo, Nim!" I heard a voice yell behind me.
"Hey, Koneko." I say, smirking as he scowls at the pet name. "How were your good byes with Kagura? Still got all your limbs?"
"Barely." He growled.
"What about your virginity?"
"SHUT THE HELL UP, NIMIAN!"
"Only teasing." I laugh. "But seriously, lock your doors."
"What do you mean your leaving?" I ask confusedly.
"Oh, I guess we never told you or Kyo." Shigure said. "Tohru was only staying here temporarily."
"Why?"
"Well, my grandfather was having some renovations done on his house so that more people could live in it and so he lived with my aunt and I moved here-"
"Alright enough already! I get it." Kyo yells.
"I'm sorry." Tohru whispers quietly.
"It's not your fault, he's just upset." I tell her.
"I believe we just witnessed a case of misdirected rage. I think the technical term is 'being an ass'." Shigure says.
"You're so full of it!" Kyo snarls.
Tohru goes to pack up her few belongings, and I hear her talk to Yuki in the hallway. She thanks him, and Yuki's only reply is, "Anytime."
Are you freakin' kidding me? Shigure and I poke our head through the door.
"All the things you could have said and what poetry spews from your mouth? Anytime?" Shigure sighs.
"No kidding." I agree. "You could have romanticized her, swept her off her feet, yet you say anytime?"
"Aren't you going to try?" Shigure asks. "To stop her, I mean."
"Why?" Yuki challenges. "We've known from the start that she would leave."
"Let her go." Kyo growls. "We never should have let an outsider in this house anyway."
I silently agree. It was a mistake, and why in the name of heaven and hell had I let my self grow attached to this girl? I cared about her. I almost wanted to protect her. She was so naïve and innocent, what would happen to her? I'm such an idiot. This is exactly why I don't care about people. You let them in, and then they leave like you're worthless.
Dinner that night was tense. Kyo stayed on the roof, and no one spoke at the table. Eventually, I broke down.
"I can't take it anymore!" I bark throwing a chopstick at Yuki like it was some kind of throwing knife. "Speak, God damn it!"
Without waiting to see there reactions, I get up, go to my room and collapse on my bed. I curl myself up and go to sleep.
I wake up the next morning to find Shigure patronizing Yuki and Kyo about Tohru's departure.
I leave and go back to sleep.
I try to sleep the day away, but every few hours, Shigure comes into my room and tries to convince me to eat, or at least get up, but it's like everything is dulled.
I go back to sleep.
The door creaks open. "Go away, Shigure." I mumble, curling into myself even more.
"It's not Shigure." Kyo replies huskily.
"Hi, Kyo…"
"That's what I get? No spunky, sarcastic remark? Not even 'Hi, Koneko'?"
I'm silent.
"What's wrong?" Kyo asks. He sits on the edge of my bed, cross legged.
"Tohru left." I say simply. He clearly expects me to elaborate, so I continue. "I trusted her. I cared about her, and then she left. I'm such an idiot."
Kyo is quiet for a second before he speaks. "Nim, look at me." I sit up and stare him dead in the eye.
"Was it like this when I left?" My whole body goes stiff, and my eyes dart around the room, desperate for some sort of escape.
"Nim." He gently grabs my chin and turns my head so I have no choice but to look at him before he repeats himself. This time, he speaks slowly and clearly, like every word hurts him. "Was it like this when I left?"
I swallow before answering. "Worse."
I hadn't gotten out of bed for days. All I did was sleep. It was so bad, Hatori had to come and live with me. He had to force feed me, it was almost like I had lost my will to live.
And for a while, I think I had.
Eventually, I started to perform simple tasks again. Eating on my own, showering, getting up in the morning. I started to cope. But some days, I still couldn't do it. Hatori diagnosed me as a bipolar depressive with attachment disorder. He gave me medicine and instructed me to take them everyday. He told that it was a hormonal imbalance on my brain.
He was wrong.
A/N 2- this is all information, so you don't have to read this. Right now, its summer for me, so I decided I'll just update whenever I finish a chapter. But when the school year starts (about three weeks from now) you can expect updates Sunday. I think. So, yeah, that's it. See you next time!
0 3 0 The Killer's Tears