Author Note: So the first chapter was not a huge success, but I won't give up on this story. Thank you Baxter54132 for reviewing.
As Roy Mustang wrote his signature on yet another sheet of paper, he glanced around at his subordinates. Sergeant Fuery was tinkering with an old radio, pushing his glasses up his face every few minutes. Sergeant Major Falman was actually doing his job and working efficiently. Warrant Officer Breda was eating a sandwich, despite it only being ten in the morning. Warrant Officer Havoc was gnawing on an unlit cigarette to avoid the wrath of the officer truly in charge of this office. 2nd Lieutenant Hawkeye was watching Roy right back, and he immediately averted his gaze from her inquisitive stare. She stood up abruptly, startling Havoc into dropping his cigarette on the floor.
"Lieutenant Colonel," she addressed the highest ranking person in the room. "We need to go get the rest of today's paperwork." Roy's face paled slightly as he fought the urge to light something on fire, but he nodded obediently and exited through the office door when Riza held it open for him. As she was leaving, she paused and turned to the soldiers in the room. "You better not misbehave while we are gone." They all nodded vigorously as she closed the door, only relaxing once it was fully shut.
"Sometimes I worry that my spine will never be straight enough." Havoc complained loudly, lighting his cigarette and taking a few puffs.
"I think she's more worried about your hands than your spine," Breda joked, finishing his sandwich in a couple more bites. "About how slow they move and the fact that you don't fill out paperwork with them."
"She just needs to loosen up sometimes." Havoc speculated, "I don't even think she dates. I would ask her out, but she would shoot me. It's not worth the risk." He shuddered and leaned back in his chair, kicking his feet up on the desk. "But I bet she wouldn't kill the Lieutenant Colonel."
"Even if she didn't kill him, there is no way she would agree to go out with him." Breda chuckled, balling his sandwich wrapper up and throwing it into a trash bin across the room. "Ten points. Anyway, the Lieutenant Colonel goes out with so many different girls all the time, and the 2nd Lieutenant I know would never give that womanizer a second glance."
"Wanna bet on it?" Havoc smirked, pulling out his wallet. "1000 cens that the 2nd Lieutenant agrees to go on a date with the Lieutenant Colonel."
"You're on." Breda smacks his 1000 cens onto his desk. "Falman, Fuery, do either of you want in?"
"N-no thanks." Fuery stutters, shaking his head profusely, "we probably shouldn't mess with them." He ducked his head, burying himself back into the radio.
"I agree," Falman interjected, "It is none of our business what they do outside of work."
"Spoilsports." Havoc chuckled, standing up to grab Breda's half of the pool money. "I'll put this into my desk until we have our answer." Just as he pushed the drawer closed, the phone on the Lieutenant Colonels desk started to ring. All of the men stared at it in silence as it rang the first two times. Fuery was the first to move.
"Noes goes." He muttered, placing one finger on his nose. Falman and Breda were the next two to follow suit, leaving Havoc to answer the phone. He let it ring one more time, glaring at his fellow soldiers, before gulping and picking up the phone.
"Warrant Officer Havoc of Lieutenant Colonel's office speaking." He said clearly, trying not to stutter.
"What!" and indignant voice replied to him, "I took time to call him and that damn Lieutenant Colonel isn't even there!"
Havoc pulled the phone away from his face a few inches to save his eardrums, "He should be back in a few minutes boss. For now though, there is this bet Breda and I just made…" Havoc was cut off by his superior officers' re-entrance to the room. They were both carrying huge stacks of paperwork, which were placed on Hawkeye's desk. She started dividing it into smaller stacks while Mustang liberated his phone from Havoc.
"Lieutenant Colonel Mustang speaking," He stated with imagined authority.
"You gave us some faulty info, you bastard." Ed shouted, causing Roy to flinch away from the phone slightly, mimicking his subordinate. "The only person living at that house was some kid, definitely not a plant alchemist."
"Alright, alright," Roy sat down at his desk, accepting his portion of the paperwork from Riza. "Are you coming back to the East then?"
"Not yet." Ed said with great volume contrast to his previous statements. "There is something fishy about that kid. She wouldn't even let us see her face. Al is such a softie, he wants to see if there is anything we could do to help her." Roy could hear a faint 'Hey!' in the background, probably Alphonse denying his brothers' assertions.
"Are you saying you need backup, Fullmetal?" Roy smirked as Riza glanced over at him, a hint of worry shimmering in her eyes. He shook his head, and she went back to doing her paperwork.
"I don't need your help!" Ed resumed shouting at the phone. "Goodbye, you bastard Lieutenant Colonel!"
"Bye, Fullmetal, make sure you call back in a few days." After hearing a loud click, Roy hung up his phone with a sigh. He really needed to get that kid to stop calling him a bastard; it was really bad for appearances.
"Is something wrong Sir?" Hawkeye asked as he brushed his bangs away from his face.
"You know how those boys are, Always finding trouble." He rubbed the back of his head. "More like making it, actually."
Hawkeye smiled almost imperceptibly, "You can sympathize, can't you sir."
"Hey," Roy grumbled, "I don't cause that much trouble. But their situation is a bit odd. It's not often that the information provided about potential state alchemists is so far from the mark. Sergeant Major Falman!" Roy addressed the solider, who saluted. "I need you to look into this city of Scorpia, but do it quietly."
"Yes Sir."
Under Hawkeye's watchful gaze, Roy picked up his pen to resume signing papers with the familiar feeling of wanting to start a bonfire.
End Note: My daily dose of Royai.
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