Disclaimer: Still don't own anything, even though I wish I did. All hail Joss!

A/N: I'm back!!! I can't believe I haven't updated in over 2 months! Bad Druid! I'm getting through this slowly but surely! Once again, a HUGE thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers. You guys seriously rock!!! And thank you for feeding my addiction, even if that's supposed to be a 'bad' thing (I really don't see how… but that could just be me)!

Who wants to be the 100th reviewer?? I'll dedicate a chapter to you; if you can think of some little plot bunny or minor scene or storyline you want to have added, then if you give me my much coveted 100th review, I'll add it in!


After her talk with Kaylee, River had felt more confident about her reception from the crew, but she still found herself delaying the talk she knew she should have with Simon. She was worried about how he would react to her once they were away from the eyes of the crew. As it was, it was another week before River went in search of her brother. During that time, she talked with Jayne nearly every night, sometimes they sat in the bay or the mess, sometimes she danced or he lifted weights. It was Jayne that mentioned casually to her that Simon was confused by her avoidance of him. River knew he had been hurt by her distance and resolved to fix it. She just didn't know how to explain to him that she was aware that, out of the whole crew, he was the one that would be and was the most un-accepting of her past. River figured it was a combination of being her older brother, a doctor and the inherently moral and Core-moulded person that he was. Either way, she hadn't wanted to get into any sort of real conversation with him until after he had had time to fully digest and sort through the information she had given them about the past four years of her life.

She found Simon one evening after dinner working out with Jayne in the bay. She paused for a minute just enjoying the sight of the two of them getting along and working together. Jayne sensed her arrival first and looked up and nodded in acknowledgement. Simon caught sight of her and smiled. River returned both gestures and glided down onto the bay floor.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked her brother, asking Jayne with her eyes if he minded her stealing his workout partner. The big man just shrugged and nodded. He knew how much Simon had been wanting and waiting for this moment. Simon's eyes lit up at the chance to finally talk to his little sister. Almost stumbling in his eagerness, Simon followed the young woman up the stairs to her shuttle. Looking back, she gave Jayne a small, almost shy smile before leading the way into her home.

Simon looked around as he stepped inside; this was his first chance to be inside the shuttle since River had moved into it. He could see little touches of her in places, but the for the most part it was still very bare.

"You should put some rugs out or perhaps some coloured scarves. I'm sure Inara would lend some to you. It's feels so empty in here." He remarked, still looking around. River looked over from where she had been pushing the sheets back into place on her bed.

"I do not need frills or decoration, Simon." She smiled. "I enjoy the pure functionality of the space; it was Nara who made it a sanctuary of beauty and comfort. I don't need such things."

"River, I didn't mean –."

"We were born to wealth, Simon. It does not mean it is what we are suited for. This life, this ship, they suit me far better than the fancy parties and expensive, wasted life I would have had on Osiris." She noted that Simon's expression was now bordering on confusion and just another hint of his ever-ready guilt and she smiled indulgently. He was such a boob; vastly intelligent, sweet when he managed it, but still such a boob. She explained her feelings in the simplest terms she could, so that he would truly understand. "This is home, Simon. This ship is my sanctuary."

"I never knew you felt that strongly about Serenity." He said after a moment. "I knew you liked the ship, but I didn't realize how deep it went."

"I wasn't able to tell you. It's not that important anyway." With a shrug, she waved that line of conversation away. "I know I've been avoiding… well everybody, but you especially, and I'm sorry."

"You wanted to give me time to adjust." He stated, and then grinned boyishly when she stared at him, startled. "I do occasionally take my head out of my pigu and take a look at the world around me." He explained grandly, a smug grin at outwitting his genius little sister sitting firmly on his face.

River rolled her eyes. "So who explained it to you, Kaylee or Jayne?" she returned with a smirk of her own.

"Brat," he scowled, beaten once again. River just laughed and indulged him by sticking out her tongue. He started to laugh, and after a pause, she joined in; the simple emotional release healing some of the distance between the once close siblings.

"So what did happen the night Jayne took you out?" River laughed at his startled expression. "Kaylee told me all she knew about it." She explained.

Simon blushed and mumbled something his sister couldn't hear. When she asked for him to repeat it, he just glared. "I refused to tell Kaylee, Wash, Mal or Zoe when they asked. I'm not going to tell you, either!" He smiled to soften his statement. "Jayne and I decided that it was something we didn't need to share with the crew. And before you say it, neither Jayne nor I are sly!"

River schooled the smirk off of her face and said with practiced innocence, "well that's good. Else Kaylee could be in for a bit of a shock." She ruined her façade by giggling as she said it.

"Jayne's whores, too." Simon agreed, with a Jayne-like smirk of his own. River felt a slither of something unidentifiable go through her at the mention of the women Jayne associated with on a regular basis. Not really knowing what it was, she ignored the something and pushed it out of her mind.

"Well, if you're not going to tell me about that night… When are you going to ask Kaylee to marry you?"

River's laughter filled the shuttle as Simon sputtered incoherently.

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River bolted upright, sweat sliding down her spine, her eyes large and unseeing. Clutching her stomach, she gave a wordless cry of denial and anguish as the memories that had woken her washed through her now conscious mind. River slumped back against her pillows. When were the memories and nightmares going to end? She wiped the sweat off her forehead and sighed. Another advantage to living in the shuttle, and one of her main reasons for doing so, was that no one knew about her nightmares. Even when she woke up screaming, none of the crew knew of it; the soundproofing Inara had had added to the shuttle walls insured that.

River checked the time and groaned when she saw that it was still the middle of the night. She and Simon had talked for hours before finally parting. Knowing that she wouldn't sleep again for at least a few hours, River left the shuttle, heading in the direction of the mess. Idly, she wondered if Jayne was still awake and couldn't help the flash of heat that spread through her body at the thought of the mercenary. He was so different than he was four years ago and yet still the same. There were so many more layers to him than most people knew. River knew that he preferred it that way. He'd told her once that people often underestimated him because of it. Which, of course, was usually to his advantage.

As she came down the hallway, she began to make out the sounds coming from within and smiled again. Jayne was humming, likely while he cleaned his girls, though she couldn't make out the tune. He stopped when he felt her enter the room, and looked up from Vera.

"Couldn't sleep, xiao xiongcan?"

Shaking her head, both in answer to his question and the nickname he seemed to have adopted for her, River moved through the room to the kitchen area. Digging out some of the tea Inara had left behind, she made enough for the both of them, knowing that Jayne sometimes liked tea with a spot of whisky in it. Both occupants were silent as River made their tea and Jayne cleaned his favourite gun. It was a comfortable silence, however; the kind of silence made by people totally at ease with each other.

River moved over to the table carrying the mugs of hot tea. She settled into the seat beside Jayne and handed him his mug. He took it with a grunt of appreciation, most of his energy focused on the part he was polishing.

"She's so beautiful. I've always thought so." River reached out and trailed light fingers down a piece of Vera's barrel. Jayne, catching the movement out of the corner of his, had to bite back a groan at the sight. There was something so gorram hot about River touching his gun like that. Made him think all manner of inappropriate thoughts about the young assassin. Pulling his mind back to safer territory he tried think of a response.

"She is, at that," he agreed. "I ever tell you how I got 'er?"

River smiled contentedly as she listened to Jayne. He had moved from the story of how he acquired Vera, which she had known, though she didn't mention that, to the woman his gun was named for; his mother. In Jayne's opinion, Vera Cobb was the best of women; no one could match the only woman he'd ever actually loved. He'd named his favourite gun after her; on account of her being the one to teach him how to shoot straight in the first place, he informed River.

Legs curled under her as she sat beside him at the table, she listened in enjoyment. Drawn in by the cadence of his voice and the enthusiasm and emotion that lit his rugged face, she lost herself in him.

"An' how bout you, wu po, any good stories from your life before gettin' on this ship?" Jayne was genuinely interested; River rarely spoke of her life at the Academy or of growing up on Osiris. She occasionally told him stories of the last few years, but usually managed to steer conversations away from herself. Now she squirmed a little in her seat, sensing his earnest interest in her life. She briefly debated with herself before deciding to trust Jayne with a part of her self that no one on Serenity knew existed. Taking a deep breath, she began to tell him about the training and a few of the missions she had been sent on.

Jayne struggled to push down his growing anger at what the hundans had done to an innocent young girl. The depth of his anger, his emotions, for her surprised him somewhat, but not too much. He'd accepted sometime in the last few weeks that he was attracted to the younger Tam, and cared about her. To some extent. Rising with his anger was a growing fascination in what she told him; the things she'd done, the places she had gone, both physically and mentally. And again he sensed something in her, the same thing he'd felt the first night he found her dancing in the cargo bay. There was a darkness in her, a danger that called to him, called to the darkness inside himself. River's head shot up.

"You see my darkness," she stated, looking at him in surprise and trepidation. She had begun to relax again as she spoke and without realizing it; her mind had reached out for his, just in time to catch his last thoughts. He nodded, not really surprised or uncomfortable with her reading of him. "It doesn't bother you?" She asked, almost fearful of his answer.

Jayne contemplated her for a moment; he could see how important his answer was to her, before shrugging. "Hell girl, after all ya been through, imagine even Kaylee would have a bit o darkness to 'er. Don't mean nothin'."

River was silent a moment, reflecting on what he said and weighing options. She had already trusted him this far, what was a little further? "Not all of my darkness is from the Academy and the killing." She began, her head down. Jayne's shot up from the knife he had idly been examining while he listened to her. "Some was always there, not developed, but present."

She closed her eyes, waiting for his condemnation or his understanding. She almost cried out with relief when Jayne spoke again.

"I reckon we all got a bit o darkness in us; some just got more'n others. Don't be worrying too much bout being a bit darker than most. Imagine it probably helped you a bit, out here in the Black and back at that place; maybe helped you cope a bit better." Jayne shrugged again, a touch embarrassed by waxin philosophical at the girl. But she was smiling brightly at him, so he figured he didn't do too bad.

River was touched beyond words by Jayne's easy acceptance and understanding of a part of her she was afraid to show the world. Without thinking, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Jayne stiffened at the unexpected feel of River's soft lips pressed against his. Her lips were just as lush, as firm as he had sometimes imagined them to be, and they moulded to his own mouth perfectly. Was this what he'd been missing all those years of not kissin' on the mouth, Jayne wondered. Then he rejected that thought; he already had a notion that it felt like this simply because it was her. And if he was going to be completely honest with himself, he'd had more than one fantasy involving River's lips. Well, her lips 'n other things. Not that he was going to admit that to no one but himself.

Just as he was getting into it and responding to her unexpected advances, River pulled back with a gasp. Eyes wide, she stared at him. She hadn't meant to kiss him and she hadn't expected to enjoy it so much. And she certainly hadn't expected him to respond as avidly as he had.

"I– I'm sorry," she stammered, scooting backwards.

"Riv–," he started, reaching for her. But with another gasp, she leapt to her feet and fled the room, her face flaming.

"Go se," Jayne muttered as he slumped back against the cushions. Staring into nothing, he unconsciously touched his fingers to his lips. Gorram, but her lips had been sweet. Exactly as he'd imagined.

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Dashing back into the shuttle and engaging the lock on the door behind her, River dropped onto her bed, head in her hands. Jayne was going to be so angry with her, she realized. He doesn't kiss on the mouth, River reminded herself harshly.

Getting up, too agitated to sit still, she wandered over to the mirror Inara had left attached to the curved hull of the shuttle. Glaring at her reflection, she firmly reminded herself that just because she had been fascinated by the mercenary for years and was finding herself more and more attracted to him the more they spent time together, didn't mean that he felt the same. River reminded herself ruthlessly that she looked nothing like Jayne's preferred women of choice.

With a sigh, she wished for the first time in many years that she still had no control over her reading of other people; she longed to know what was going on inside his head, but her own ethics wouldn't let her peek. Not that it mattered much; she remembered that she had always had trouble reading Jayne since he kept his thoughts and mind so carefully organized and controlled. He'd had very little but surface thoughts that she'd been able to catch, like the ones about her darkness.

River paced the length of her shuttle for several hours, alternating between berating herself and marvelling at how it had felt. Several times, her fingers went to her lips, still feeling the imprint of the kiss. Buddha, but he kissed well!

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Early morning found River sitting on the bridge staring at the stars. Sometime during the night, she had come to a realization and then a plan. She had wished, more than once, that Kaen or Sia was on Serenity with her. She could have talked to them about this. They both knew a little about the interest she had had in Jayne before she left. That thought had led to her current position on the bridge. She was waiting for Mal and Wash to wake up and also trying to avoid Jayne, should he be wandering the ship. She didn't think he'd come up on the bridge. She smiled in relief as she heard a hatch open behind her; Wash, she sensed, then another a minute later, Mal.

An hour later, after a brief conversation with the two men and the carrying out of the idea she'd had, River returned to her shuttle and relaxed on her bed. Already she felt better and nothing had even happened yet.

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Jayne stomped onto the bridge. "How long till we land on Teyrnon?" he growled. Wash just eyed him for a moment before answering.

"A little over 2 hours." The pilot turned back to the controls, ignoring the large man behind him. Along with everyone else on the ship, Wash had become used to Jayne's dark mood of the last three days. No one was totally sure what the reason behind it was, but if pressed to take a guess, Wash would say it had something to do with their youngest crew member. Everyone knew by now how often River and Jayne had spent time together since she had come back, just as everyone noticed that she now seemed to be avoiding the merc. And her avoidance had started at about the same time as his foul mood. Wash wondered briefly what exactly Jayne had done to incur the wrath or at least the anger of their own little government-trained assassin, but he couldn't think of anything that he had heard or seen.

Jayne stomped back off the bridge and headed to the cargo bay. He desperately needed to work off some of the anger in his system before they went on the job, otherwise he was liable to get jumpy and screw something up by not paying attention to his surroundings. Gorram girl was still screwing with his head. Once he'd gotten over his shock that night in the mess, he had gone in search of River the next day. He'd gotten his first inkling that she was hiding from him when he realized that every person he questioned said that he had just missed her. It had been going on for three ruttin' days now and he was getting all manner of angry and confused. Why was the fa kuang wu po avoiding him? If anything, he should be the one doin' the avoiding, not her. But here he was, seeking out the not-so crazy girl with dancer's legs and soft lips he'd been thinkin' on more than he was sure was right.

River poked her head out the passageway she had ducked into when she'd heard Jayne come thundering off the bridge. She knew she was behaving like a child, but she couldn't help it. She had very little experience with this sort of thing, and the mess with Nicos had confirmed for her that she really had no idea what she was doing when it came to men and relationships.

Almost as soon as Serenity touched down, Mal, Zoe and Jayne were off on the bank heist Badger had given them. The rest of the crew went through their usual regimen for when the three were on jobs. Simon organized his infirmary, making sure it was ready for any and all injuries; Kaylee prepped the engine, getting her girl ready for dangerous or quick flying; Wash sat on the bridge, monitoring the radio and the cortex and trying not to worry about his wife. River meditated in the cargo bay, dividing her time between thinking about what she could feel coming closer and worrying about Jayne. She had seen that he wasn't going to get shot this time, but the future was such a tricky thing; one little deviation from the norm could alter everything.

Within two hours, the mule could be heard coming back toward Serenity. The job, for a change, had gone smooth and there was no need to do any dangerous flying or perform some sort of medical procedure under pressure. Mal glanced at River as he climbed out of the mule, and the reader nodded in return.

"Soon," was all she said and the captain nodded in response. Whatever ill feelings the browncoat had had for the genius after her rather public reaming of him, had disappeared in the wake of his realization that he had been in the wrong, not her. Now he was waiting on her; what was to happen, soon apparently, was River's doing and he figured he owed it to her to let her make the next couple of moves.

Jayne too looked at River as he jumped out of the mule. It was the first time he'd seen her in days, since their kiss and he wasn't at all surprised to realize he'd missed her, as well as wanting to shake her in frustration for avoiding him. As she was now. River had glanced away, blushing slightly, when Jayne looked at her. She wanted to leave the bay, but knew she couldn't. So instead, she steeled herself and stood up. Jayne, thinking she was about to leave, opened his mouth. Whatever he had been about to say was lost in what happened just then.

River turned away from Jayne and the rest of the crew as her inner senses began to sing. She looked towards the bay door just in time to be attacked.

Jayne had looked towards the doors when he saw River turn in that direction. So he saw perfectly everything that happened next. He saw the tall dark haired man practically run onto Serenity, he watched him grab River by the waist and his mouth dropped open as the man kissed her soundly on the lips.

What the gorram hell?

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Xiao xiongcan – Little ass-kicker
Wu po – witch
Fa kuang wu po – crazy witch


Guess who?!?!

A/N: I'm back!! Yay!! Things are heating up, both for Jayne and River and for the crew in general. Again, I apologize for the ridiculously long wait between chapters. I've already started the next one, so hopefully it will only be a couple days for that one. Hope this lives up to expectations and that you all haven't just given up and gone away!!

I love reviews (wink wink nudge nudge). -Druid