I yawned, stretching like a cat as I sat up. When I had gotten back to my room, I'd been so exhausted that I collapsed on my bed, not even bothering to remove my boots. My feet were killing me because of it. I sat up and pulled them off, massaging my poor feet before making my way to my bathroom.
I looked like a mess. I really, really did. I had a quick shower and threw my hair up into a messy ponytail, applying moisturizer to my face. With all my frustrations, I wanted nothing more than to have a good, long work out session. With that, I rifled through my closet and pulled out my curve-hugging black tank and a pair of shorts, pulling on some sneakers. I nodded to myself, grabbing my iPod and headed down to the gym.
I quickened my pace to a jog, shivering slightly. Dhampirs had more of a resistance to cold, but since it was January, it was still rather cold. I was glad when I reached the gym, rubbing my arms and heading over to the punching bags. I popped my headphones in and turned it to my work out mix, slipping on a pair of gloves before setting to work.
I don't know how much time had passed, but by the time I felt someone shaking my shoulders, a lot of my hair had come loose from it's ponytail and I felt sweat sticking to me, making me feel gross. Irritably, I yanked out my headphones, turning to snarl at the person who dared to interrupt my workout.
"There you are, Kitten. Have you been here all morning?" Adrian asked, wrinkling his nose, "how can you stand to be in here? It stinks."
I crossed my arms, scowling, "don't like it, leave. You don't have to be here."
"I've been looking everywhere for you. Lissa, you know, the Queen? She had you assigned to me. You are now my Guardian." He grinned smugly. I felt myself pale.
"Oh fuck."
Hell no! Hell no! I was Adrian's Guardian?! Oh, fuck me with a chainsaw and call me Suzie, this is not good. No. "Why?" I gasped, apparently too incoherent for anything else.
"I think she said it was Mia's suggestion." He said, raising an eyebrow at my swearing.
Fuck. Just… just… fuck. Of course. Of course. It makes sense. Of course she would've seen me blush. She was a fucking Vampire! They were born with night vision! She probably saw our almost kiss, too. She must've thought she was helping me, setting me up with Adrian…
"I'm going to kill her." I growled.
Adrian laughed and grabbed my arm, causing me to yelp and jump away from the contact. Damn it.
"Come on, Liv. You need to cool down, and I need to see the feeders. You gotta come with me now, since you're my Guardian." He smirked, clearly rubbing it in.
I frowned, "We're on Court. I don't need to come. We have wards, you know."
He grinned at me now, but it was an eerie grin. Creepy. "The wards can't hold forever, Kitten. Are your claws sharp?"
I gave him a strange look, "uh… yeah… Sharp… as a razor. Are… are you okay?"
He shuddered slightly and pulled out a flask from his coat pocket, taking a long sip and putting it back. "Yeah, fine. Let's go."
I nodded warily, wishing I had another change of clothes, "Can I go home and have a quick shower and change first?"
"No." He said, quickly walking out the door. Douchebag.
I followed him silently, sneaking glances at him now and then. What had that whole… creepy thing been? Clearly it was a side effect of Spirit but it had sounded less like crazy rambling and more like a prophecy. What had he said, "The wards can't hold forever, Kitten. Are you claws sharp?"
What did that mean? Were the wards weak? Was there going to be a Strigoi attack? When? Should I tell someone? Yeah, of course, "There's going to be a Strigoi attack. I don't know when. How do I know? My crazy Spirit using charge told me." Yeah, that'd go over well.
It was probably just his crazy rambling. There weren't any parallels. None. This was not like Saint Arianwen. Besides, she was crazy 'cause her bondmate died. Plus, none of her prophecies came true. It wasn't a big deal.
So why did I feel scared out of her mind?
"Liv?"
"Huh?" I frowned, glancing up at Adrian.
"Are you okay?"
I rolled my eyes, shoving away my fear, "peachy. Let's go." I frowned again, pushing the door open for him and following him in. He was set up with a feeder rather quickly, so I stood off to the side, eyes averted as envy raged through me. It was disgusting. I didn't miss it. I didn't! But… I couldn't help but remember how his lips had felt against my throat.
"Careful, Kitten. You're lit up like a Christmas tree. And even if I couldn't see auras, you're really being obvious." His voice murmured in my ear, soft like a caress. I shoved him away, flushing from the proximity.
"Stop that. Let's go." I grumbled, walking out.
We walked down to the nearest café, and I was surprised to see Guardian Hathaway, Belikov and Castile. Not so much to see Mia, though.
"Rose, Dimitri, Eddie. What are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you be guarding the Queen?"
Rose grimaced, "She ordered us out. Gave us the day off. Christian proposed and she wants to… uh… thank him properly."
Adrian burst into laughter and I flushed, "she compelled you out?"
"Yep, I'm not allowed to return until later."
All this talking about charges and guarding brought back my earlier anger, "Speaking of guarding…. What have you done to me, Mia?! I was assigned to Adrian, and I've heard that you were the one to suggest it." I grumbled.
She giggled, "yeah, too bad, isn't it? Now you'll be too busy to train me." She winked. I could hear the obvious double meaning and my cheeks went red.
"Shut up!"
"If you want, Mia, I can train you. But you can't use a stake." Eddie offered. I looked at him curiously. There was something up with him.
"That's okay. You'll be too busy." She said, ducking her head.
"I'm not that busy. I can make time…"
Were they into each other? I looked over at Adrian and saw him gazing at their auras, a look of amusement in his eyes. Oh yeah, they were crushing alright.
"Come on, Adrian, I need to head back to my apartment," I said, feeling disgusting in my clothes. He shrugged, and everyone stood up.
"We'll follow for a bit. We're going over to Mia's for a while anyways." Rose said.
I nodded and we started walking. The other were hanging back, talking, so Adrian and I got a pretty good lead on them.
"Eddie and Mia, huh?" I asked, grinning slightly.
"So it would seem. About time, too. He's been interested in her since Senior year."
"Really? Shut up!"
"No, seriously!" He laughed, "it started… well, I don't know, since I only met them when they came to the resort. I know his opinion of her changed after Mia's mother's death and their kidnapping. After Mason died, she comforted him and they became closer, even though bother were too depressed to even think about doing anything. It's only been the past few months that he's finally started moving on."
I nodded. Mourning was a long, tough process. I would be mourning for many, many years before I finally got over Vera and Innusha, I'm sure.
As if conjured by my thoughts, I saw a familiar, and unwelcome, face in my peripheral vision. I paused, curious, and then outright froze.
Tall, lean, shaggy light brown hair, abnormally pale skin (even for a Moroi) and big, bottomless, deep blue eyes. Eyes I used to drown in daily. I was frozen, unable to do anything but stare at him. There was a faint buzzing in my ears, and I think Adrian was trying to get my attention, but I was so cold, and I couldn't hear, couldn't see, couldn't breathe.
The faint buzzing became more annoying, frustrated and a little afraid as it got louder. Funny, I didn't think buzzing could be annoyed or frightened. Then, suddenly, I felt as if someone had slapped me in the face or dumped ice water on me.
Adrian had grabbed my arms and gripped them tightly, staring deep into my eyes. I could feel an electric current run up and down my body, and panic clouded all senses.
"You're… afraid." Adrian murmured.
"No, let me go!" I hissed in terror, struggling to get away. His eyes caught mine again.
"Shh… calm down Olivya. Everything is going to be okay. Don't run away, no need to runaway. Just tell me what's wrong. I'll make it better."
I was still trying to get away, but not as hard now. Why fight? He made sense. He could make it better.
"That's it. I'll make it better. I'll take care of you. It's okay."
A saying flashed in my mind, 'they come first'. It wasn't his job to take care of me.
Like that, the compulsion snapped and, in my panic, I punched Adrian. I avoided his nose, hitting his cheek bone instead and pulled back most of my power at the last second, but it still shocked him and caused him to fall flat on his bum. Any other time, I would've laughed. He looked up at me in shock and I saw Eddie, Rose, Dimitri and Mia staring at me in horror.
Without saying another word, I took off, racing for home. I slammed my door and locked it, pacing as I dialed a familiar number with shaking hands.
I had meant to call my mother, but suddenly, another familiar voice picked up.
"Hello?" Arianwen said, speaking Russian. I guess I called her instead.
"Aria..." I whimpered, feeling my eyes water and burn. Then, without warning, I burst into tears. Thick, wet tears rolled down my cheeks as I took breath after shuddering breath, sobbing my heart out.
"Chwaer hŷn? What's wrong? Are you okay?" She asked, then covered the mouth piece. Even still, I could still pick up what she was saying. "Derrion, I have to take this. It's my sister. Can you handle everything for a bit? It won't be long, I promise."
"Is Olya okay?" I heard Nikolai ask.
"I don't know. Please Der? I promise I'll only be a few minutes."
"Take your time, Aria. We'll be fine."
I heard a door open and close, then heard Arianwen's voice again. "Talk to me, Liv-ly, what's going on?"
The nickname only made me cry harder. I had an assortment of nicknames growing up. My Irish grandfather would always call me Liverpool, after the place in England, my parents sometimes call me Livrhea, because of my middle name being Rhiannon, my brother and sister would call me Livvy, Nikolai and Vera called me Olya, which is apparently my Russian nickname, and Arianwen would call me Liv-ly or Liver breath, depending on the mood she was in.
"Liv?"
"They're gonna execute me!" I gasped out, sounding like a strangled cat.
There was a moment of silence, "huh?"
"They… I'm… I punched a Royal. My charge. Because he tried to use compulsion on me… I punched… the late Queen's great-nephew… A Moroi… oh god. I'm going to die. Or worse, I'll be sent to live with bloodwhores!" I sobbed.
"Only you would think living with bloodwhores would be worse than dying."
"Aria!"
"I'm sorry! You'll be fine, Liv. You might get into a little trouble, but they don't execute you for that, and they won't strip you of your Guardian title. I promise you. We have too few Guardians as it is, especially female ones."
"But…"
"No buts, Olivya. Calm down. This isn't like you. Just calm down, and relax. Deep breaths. Deep breaths."
I started to relax, then heard a loud crash in the background, "Shit! Listen, I gotta go. Just keep calm!"
She hung up.
Somewhere deep down, I knew she was right. Maybe. But I couldn't think past my panic. My little sister was out there, fighting Strigoi, and I couldn't help her. The last Strigoi battle I was in, my charge was killed and my daughter….
Thinking about Strigoi brought back the dread I felt earlier, only now it was terror. It had to be nothing. It couldn't mean anything, could it? What if it was real? What if there was a Strigoi attack? People would die, and I wouldn't have done anything to stop it. I would be worse than a Strigoi! But no… it had to be just Adrian's crazy rambling… it couldn't mean—
Oh god. Adrian. I punched Adrian. Adrian, my charge. Adrian, a Moroi. They were going to KILL me! Send me to prison! To a blood whore commune! Or I'd have to live among humans! Oh god…
I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, my entire body cold and shaking, and as my breathing constricted, it began pounding harder. See, when I was a child, I was diagnosed with acute anxiety, and was prone to having panic attacks. Something as simple as a pop quiz or losing a pencil could send me into one, and when I had to start learning my duty, it would send me into hysteria. It got so bad that, at only seven years old, the school administrator told my mom to hop me up on pills and keep me at home, because I would never be fit to be a Guardian. I was in the room at the time, and, to everyone's surprise, I agreed.
A month went by, and then we heard that a family of Non-royals had been killed by Strigoi. They hadn't had any Guardians.
My views changed. They died, because kids like me were staying at home. They died because we didn't have enough Guardians. Before, the Guardian mantra used to terrify me. I was afraid of it, and angry. Why did I have to die, to save some weak, privileged rich kid? Why were they more important than me? But that wasn't what scared me. Even then, I had a strong sense of duty. I knew that, even if I didn't like it, I would lay my life down on the line in a minute, because that's what I was supposed to do. And it scared me. Scared me that I would hold someone's life in my hands. I would be the only thing that kept them from dying, or worse. It terrified me.
But after that day, I looked at that phrase ina new way. Their life was in my hands. I could stop them from a fate worse than death. I would be a hero. I went back to school and quickly caught up, battling my anxiety as I did.
Whenever I was alone, I would build myself up into a panic attack, then use calming techniques to bring me back down. As I did this, I became numb to most fears. By the time I was eleven years old, I couldn't be afraid anymore. So I thought.
I knew it wasn't a great thing, to be numb to most fears, but it did help me. When I killed my first Strigoi, at eighteen years old, I wasn't afraid; just ready.
Unfortunately, I did have some consequences. I haven't had a panic attack in twelve years. As such, I became more panicked, unable to remember my calming techniques.
My breathing picked up as my heart thrummed in my chest, and I struggled to see past the monochrome kaleidoscope dancing in my eyes. Beneath the high pitched ringing, I thought I could hear banging and shouting, but I wasn't sure. My legs felt weak, and I was dizzy. I couldn't breathe. Out of nowhere, I heard a thud and felt something firm beneath me. The sharp pain in my keens, shoulders and head informed me that I had collapsed, and the shouting got louder.
I couldn't breathe. Whoever said drowning was a peaceful death should be nailed to stake by their genitals because it hurt. Being unable to breathe hurt so bad, tears rolled down my cheeks. I was going to die. Honest to god, I was going to die. Suddenly, I heard a loud bang and I glanced over at my door.
Or… where my door used to be? All I could see was empty space, and that was enough to, momentarily, distract me from the burning ache in my chest.
"Liv!"
Adrian? I looked over to see green, green eyes and my panicked up once more. It was weird. He had a simultaneous calming and panicking effect on me.
The pain blossomed in my chest and I whimpered slightly, trying to cover my ears. The ringing hurt so bad, I thought I was going to throw up. My world rippled, and I knew it couldn't be long before I passed out.
Green. They were so green. Pulsing, swirling, shaking green. Green that made me tingle, and made me hot and cold and hot again. My knees didn't hurt so much. Even in my panic-addled state, I realized he healed my knees. And, despite my panicked terror, I also felt cold and calm. Something soft and cold and smooth brushed my cheek, my hair, but all I could see was green. Green watering, silvered green. Cool on my cheek. Wet.
"Pretty…" I rasped, choking on air. My alarm picked up once again and the green looked scared and so, so sad.
And then the green world rippled again, and it all faded to black.
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A/N: How's that? I'm so sorry, it's taken forever. My computer cracked up, and I can only post at school. My chapters are going to being a little erratic, but I promise I haven't forgotten you!