'Why isn't she waking up? She should be waking up by now, shouldn't she? It's been an entire day. Why isn't she awake?'

A slap.

'Calm the hell down, Adrian, she'll be fine. She's a Guardian.'

A growl.

'So? She has feelings, and she's only human. Sort of. Just because she's a Guardian doesn't mean she's okay.'

A sigh.

'It's our job, Adrian, it's what we so. She'll be okay, because she knows her life doesn't matter. Only yours does. It's how things are.'

Silence.

'Not for long, if I can help it. You guys shouldn't have to continually lay down your lives for us.'

Another sigh.

'It's what we do, Liss. It's what we're born for.'

Where was I? I could hear voices and a steady beeping. I could smell disinfectant and other chemicals. And Adrian. I could smell Adrian.

I shifted a little, wincing in pain. My head and chest ached in the worst way. I groaned softly and opened my eyes, confused as my world blurred and focused. I was in an infirmary?

"Liv?" I turned to Adrian, his green eyes holding nothing but concern for me, "how are you feeling?"

"My head and chest ache," I rasped, coughing, "and my throat. But it's not a big deal, it's to be expected.'

Lissa looked at me curiously, "do you get panic attacks often?"

I sighed, "I used to. I was born with acute anxiety. So were my siblings. It comes from my dad. I numbed myself by the time I was eleven, and u haven't been afraid or had a panic attack since then. I forgot how to handle it."

I sat up, wincing, and Adrian got me a glass of water. I muttered a quick thanks and downed it, rubbing my head. I looked around the room, curious to see who was there, and groaned. Really?

Everyone was there. Literally everyone. Adrian was watching me carefully, Christian had his arm around Lissa's waist, and they were clearly in love. Nearby I saw Dimitri and Rose. They were alert, looking around without actually looking around, but at the same time, they were holding hands and smiling at each other. Eddie was also standing guard nearby and Mia was standing at my bedside. Both of them kept sneaking glances at each other.

"We'll, I guess some congratulations are in order, hub? Congrats, Queen Lissa and future King Christian." I grinned, attempting to diffuse the tension.

Lissa blushed, probably at the use of her title but Christian seemed proud and even excited. "The best King and Queen there ever was!" Rose exclaimed.

"Damn straight!" Christian grinned. There was laughter and general happiness, but then Lissa brought us back to why we were here in the first place.

"What happened?" She asked. I sighed.

"Well, because I had numbed myself, I haven't had a panic attack in twelve years. Unfortunately it meant that I wasn't prepared to fend it off."

"From what I could tell, it was pretty severe." Eddie remarked.

"Yeah. It was a combination of somebody attacking my sister's charge and his other Guardian in the middle of our phone call, and me punching Adrian." Well, and his whole prophecy thing, but I chose not to mention that, "am I going to be stripped of my title?" I asked, my heart rate increasing as alarm shot through me. Adrian glanced over at my heart rate monitor and put his hand in my arm. My heart rate spiked, audibly skipping a beat at the electric shock, but between his presence and those green eyes, I managed to calm myself down; something that was heard by everyone.

I glanced up and fought a blush at the looks on everyone's faces. Mia was smirking, as was Christian, while Lissa and Dimitri seemed amused. Eddie hasn't really reacted, but Rose looked curious.

"Are you two dating?" Rose asked.

My cheeks went scarlet, "no! Of course not! Don't be ridiculous." I protested. At the same time, Adrian had said, "not yet."

Christian smirked more, "methinks the lady doth protest too much."

Morons.

"So, anyways..." I said awkwardly, "what... Uhm... What happened to my door?

Both Eddie and Dimitri grinned, "we kicked it down."

I blinked, "why?"

"Uh, because you punched a Moroi, ran off, wouldn't open your door and collapsed?"

"...right. Stupid question. Moving on..." I sighed? "So...am I..."

"No, you're still Adrian's Guardian." Lissa smiled.

I nodded. Great. On one hand, at least I hadn't lost my job, but in the other hand... I was Adrian's Guardian. Mother of fudge.

"Can I go now?" I asked, massaging my head.

"Yeah, I'd just like to talk to you first. " Rose said, "alone. Adrian can wait outside."

Everyone left and I couldn't help but notice how close Eddie and Mia were. Adrian seemed reluctant to leave, but eventually it was just me and Rose.

"What's up?" I asked, unhooking myself from the machines.

Rose seemed uncertain, as if she wanted to choose her words carefully. From what I'd heard about her, this was exceedingly rare, and it put me on guard instantly.

"Don't hurt him."

I blinked in confusion, "huh?"

"Adrian. Don't hurt him. I've done that far too many times as it is." He ran a hand through her hide, sighing. She looked ashamed and regretful, but I was surprised to feel anger shoot trough me regardless.

"Why do you think I'd hurt him." I scowled, trying to contain my anger.

She raised her eyebrows, and I raised one in return. An extremely jealous look appeared on her face and my anger was replaced with confusion.

"Didn't you see him? You can't really be that oblivious. He cares about you. A lot."

I shook my head, going towards the door. I paused, turning back towards Rose, "tell everyone we're meeting at my place for movies tonight."

I walked out the door, surprised to see Adrian still waiting for me. He but his lip and ruffled his hair- a habit I noticed he did when he was feeling particularly distressed.

"You waited?" I frowned, confused.

"You're my Guardian." He shrugged. We both knew that was just an excuse.

We started walked and I looked around me, not recognizing my surroundings, "where are we going?"

"My place. We need to talk." He said, giving me a pointed look.

I balked. Sugar. "Actually, can we go to my place? I'm having everyone over for movies tonight. Trying to set up Mia and Eddie."

He laughed, "yeah, they've got it bad for each other, don't they?"

I nodded with a grin, glad for the change in subject, "I don't even need to see auras to see it. They are beyond obvious." I was surprised at myself. I had never really been comfortable with Spirit, especially not since Alek, and I couldn't really talk about it out loud. This was a good start.

Before I knew it, we had arrived at my apartment. I fumbled for my keys, dread shooting through me as my breathing became ragged again. I closed my eyes tightly, forcing myself to breathe slowly and failing. My nerves were frazzled from my last attack, and so I was more susceptible to having them right now. I could already feel some of the symptoms- the sense of dread or impending doom, shortness of breath, chest pain, feeling cold and tingly, the dizziness... No one panic attack or anxiety attack was the same, but mine didn't usually differ much, so I was good at recognizing the symptoms and severity of an attack. Right now, I was in the beginning of a small scale attack, but it could turn more severe. I couldn't afford that.

"Breathe in... And out... In... Out... It'll be okay, Liv. Everything will be okay." Adrian murmured. With a start, I realized he had come up from Behind me as wrapped his arms around my washer. His breath in my hair sent shivers through me, but feeling the warmth of his body and his support helped me. I closed my eyes and leant into him, focusing on matching my breathing to his. I could feel his heartbeat through his shirt and I was surprised to find that, once my heart slowed to a natural pace, they were basically in sync. Because he was a Moroi, his heart beat a little faster than mine, but had he been a dhampir, they would've been beating at the same pace. As it was, they were a rhythmic harmony, beating together but separately.

Without a word, I removed myself from our embrace and, once the last of the white flashes left my vision, I reached down and picked up my keys from the floor, unlocking my door in silence. I flicked on my light and went to my kitchen, filling my kettle with water and turning it on. I dug through my cupboards, searching for my favourite cup.

"Oh yeah," I muttered, "I put it back with the set."

I could feel Adrian's eyes on me as I reached for the cupboards above the sink. I could see a peek of the tea set, but even on my tippy-toes I couldn't quite reach it. How the hell had I gotten it up there?

"Oomf!" I grunted, jumping up to reach it. I held my breath as my fingers skimmed it. That was a stupid move. If it broke, I would seriously cry.

A breath of aftershave hit my nose and i could feel his body faintly pressed against mine from behind, causing shivers to go through me. Damn him.

I heard a clink of glass being set on the counter and I spun around, confused.

"You looked like you were having a hard time." He smiled, patting the counter beside the tea set

I grumbled, "honestly, 5'8 should NOT be as short as it is."

He smirked and I put a Red Rosé Orange Pekoe tea bag in the tea pot.

It was a beautiful set. Vera had given it to me for my last birthday, joking about how, now that I had a three year old, I would need to drink more tea to keep myself calm. I had laughed, laughing more when Innusha proclaimed that she was "ohmost fouwr!"

That had been two months ago, just days before the attack.

I sighed, fighting tears. It had been a good day. J.C. And Noah had still been in school, and Arianwen had been in Russia with Nikolai. Nana and Papa had been visiting Scotland, so it had been a small party. Just me, Mama, dad, Vera and Innusha. But you know what? It was enough. Mama had given me two tickets to a theatre showing of Macbeth, my favourite play, and dad had given me a new camera and a scrapbook to keep all my memories in. Innya ha given me a beautiful macaroni portrait of herself that she'd made with Vera and Vera had given me an orchid pendant, gave Innya a lily pendant, and had given me the tea set.

It came in 6 pieces. There was a black metal tray that looked Victorian, a Victorian style black glass tea pot and a matching creamer container, sugar pot, tea cup and saucer. I lovingly stroked the tea pit before pouring cream in the cream glass and adding more sugar to the sugar pot. I grabbed a spoon and turned of the kettle, pouring the hot water into the tea pot.

"Would you like a tea, Adrian?" I asked, turning to face him. He nodded and I reached into my cupboard for another cup, putting it beside mine. I waited a few seconds more for the tea to finish steeping, then poured the tea into each cup, using a cloth to wipe off the spout of the pot.

I scooped three sugars into my cup, then turned to Adrian again, "how many?"

"Just one, please."

I nodded and scooped one sugar into his cup, pouring cream into my cup to turn it a creamy white colour, "cream?"

"No, thank you."

"You're boring," I teased, stirring mine, then his, and handing his to him. I picked mine up and carried it out to the living room, sitting on one of my black leather love seats. I blew on my cup, taking a small sip. Already I could feel my worries start to slip away.

Adrian sat beside me and his anxiety was palpable. Ooh boy.

Finally, he spoke up. "Why didn't you tell me you had an anxiety disorder."

I shrugged, careful not to spill my tea, "you never asked. And, anyways, it wasn't important."

He growled and slammed his fist down on my glass coffee table. I jumped, a little bit of my tea spilling, but not

enough to worry about. "Not important? Do you have any idea how scared I was for you? I thought you were dying, Liv!"

I blinked, startled by his outburst. Unbidden, Rose's words came back to me. 'He cares about you. A lot.'

I studied him, noticing his disheveled hair, overly pale skin and frantic eyes. She wasn't lying; he really did care. What an odd concept.

"How's your face?" I asked softly. He rubbed his cheeks gently.

"Lissa healed me. How's your knee?"

I glanced down at myself, "fine now. Thank you for healing them."

"Anything else?" He said softly.

I shrugged, "a bit of a headache still." He nodded and put his hands on my head. I felt hot then cold then hot again, and then my headache vanished.

"I didn't know you could heal headaches." I frowned. He shrugged and sipped his tea.

Suddenly the air in the room changed, and I knew that he was going to add me what he had wanted to ask me.

"Why are you so averse to being my Guardian?"

I sighed and put down my tea. Here we go.

"It's not that I'm averse I being your Guardian in particular, although I am a little, it's more that I'm not ready to have another charge yet." I sighed.

"Why not?"

"Vera Drozdov." I murmured, taking a sip of my tea, "I met Vera when I was in high school. I started going to Dover Bay Private Academy when I was five and when Arianwen was adopted into our family at seven, she started going there, too. It wasn't far from Seattle, but it was a little more secluded from the world. We usually kept to ourselves, so when Aria and I got to the high school, it was just us. Then she introduced me to her new Russian friend, Nikolai Conta. Nikolai ended up introducing me to Aleksandr, who was a year older than I was, and Vera who was a senior at the time.

I couldn't help the involuntary flinch when I said his name. I hadn't said his name in almost four years, since I left him, and I hadn't even allowed myself to think his name until I met Adrian.

I took a sip if my tea and continued my story, "during that first year, Vera and I became close friends, and even after she graduated, we kept in contact. When I graduated with top marks, she requested me as her Guardian." I sighed, "we became true blue best friends and even when I got myself into a little trouble, she helped me through tint. She helped me take care of Innusa... They adored each other. Innya calmed her aunty Veeree. It was so cute. Then... A few days after my birthday... There was a Strigoi attack. It had been Vera, Innusha and I, as well as a couple friends she'd been entertaining and their Guardisns. Most of us had gotten out alive. They'd killed one Guardian, a man name John Karpuik. I'd been distracted, and in my distraction, they killed Vera and..." I choked up, taking a shuddery breath, "they took Innusha. Probably killed her. I hope they killed her... I-I couldn't imagine... Innya as a Strigoi." I whispered. That thought had never occurred to me before. What if they hadn't killed her?

Adrian wrapped his arms around me and I buried my faced into the crook of his neck. He gently rubbed circles into my back as my grief overcame me

Again, I'm so sorry it's taken forever for me to update. I'm still working on repairing my laptop charger. I have the chapters prewritten out and when I have the patience, I type them up on my iPod and send it to a friend via facebook so I can update it at a later date. It takes a while for me. Not only that, but my muse for this story has been a little stop-and-start. I'm currently up to chapter 8 or 9, and while that happens to be the climax of the story, where everything gets exciting and shit, I'm struggling to write it. It took me forever to actually write chapter 5 as well, because I had everything planne for the panic attack, but nothing planned to get there. However, because I had a deadline, it was easier for me to do. Here, I don't have much of a deadline, so I've gotten fairly lazy. Don't worry, however, because I HAVE to finish this story. I have roughly 4 ideas for the stories based upon this world I've created inside Richelle Mead's world. Anyways, I thought I'd just give you a bit of an update, so yeah...

Also, if you've read this far, tell me what your favourite part is so far!

Reviews are cookies :D Gimme?