Title: The Green Monster

Prompt Name/Prompt List/Ficlet #: Overboard – June - #10

Author: kagome313

Rating: PG-13

Genre: (Admin's Genre) Comedy

Universe: Non-Cannon

Word Count: 605

Summary: A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to feed that hungry monster.

Warnings: Language.

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I resisted the urge to puke as I desperately tried to tune out the laughter of Inuyasha and that bitch ass cop who I'm pretty sure was writing down her number and deliberately tucking it into Inuyasha's pants pocket.

Did the bitch not see me here? Did she not stop to wonder if we were an item? Or was she that stupid to see pass the sexy idiot in her visual distance – which I'm sure isn't that good! Excluding Inuyasha's looks because everyone knows he's a fine species to behold – stupid… but fine nonetheless.

"I'm sorry to hear about your aunt,"

I rolled my eyes at her fake condolence. Yeah, sure Inuyasha was probably saving my but from a horrific ticket but if it meant whoring himself to the likes of this harlot, I'd probably take fifty if my patience didn't break and kill her.

I released a calming breath when he walked away from her, walking towards me with a wink before disappearing in the car to look for something. Naked picture to satisfy the needy cop? I shrugged before I eased over to her.

"Your brother is so sweet!" She gushed, tugging a small piece of paper in her breast poket.

My left eyes started to twitch.

"Yea – the sweetest," I strained out, folding my arms as I scooted closer to her. "I'm so glad you seem to be accepting – he's had it pretty rough growing up." Sad face for effects in place.

"What do you mean?"

Gasping – as if I was actually shocked – I pressed my hands to my mouth, "Oh you didn't realize?" With shifty eyes, I started to shake my head with regret. "I shouldn't… Oh gosh…I…I…"

"No, it's okay… Don't freak out."

Sighing softly, I eased away from her filthy touch. "It's just that… He's… he's gay," I looked behind me to make sure he wasn't in hearing distance. "Such a sad story you know; growing up in the church and all… Also because his types are those old, repulsive fat dudes," I shuddered at the thought. "I never once judged him though – oh no, I would never! – But… with others – especially because he kept getting caught – …" I leaned over, my hand cupping my mouth, "He's a bit retarded," I breathe, "He's had a hard time added with such a thing."

The officer reeled back with disgust, her orbs widening as she looked from Inuyasha to me. "He didn't seem…"

"I know…" I whispered, patting her arm softly. "He feels the need to be that way – get with beautiful girls," Smiling sardonically I blinked quizzically at her, "He's… He has… Well…" I trailed off.

"What?" The petite officer rushed out, gripping my arms suddenly as if the knowledge depended on her stupid existence.

"He feels the need to punish the female race."

She smiled softly, a light shrug in place as she watched him near them. "Well I don't mind with a hottie like that… Hell he can punish me twenty-four seven for all I care."

"No honey," I whispered tragically, a hand grasping hers as I patted it soothingly.

"He has aids."

When she pulled her hands away from me, as if burned – I swear I never saw someone moved so fast in my entire life! Hell if she wasn't a cop, I'm sure she would have gotten pulled over for such reckless driving!

Laughing loudly, with my hands holding my side, I couldn't stop the sudden scream that strangled me as Inuyasha picked me up from behind.

"Aids huh?"

"Yes." I snapped with a pout, glaring off into the distance. "The finest aids of all aids."