AN: Ok I said there was a poll on my profile for what the title of this story should be changed to, but apparently I didn't activate it. It's up now, please vote and help me decide. I'm skipping ahead some, so I can get to the important stuff. Also, thanks for all the reviews.

I own nothing

Penelope just stared at the picture on Rossi's phone. J.J. and Henry were sitting on either side of Will. He looked pale and tired, but he was alive. "If I didn't think it would hurt, I would be crying right now. I thought he died. Wow, just wow."

She was saved from having to come up with something else to say when J.J. entered the room. She quickly crossed the room and gave Penelope a gentle, but fierce, hug. "Garcie, I am so glad you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"Guilty," Garcia said, blushing. "Jayje, I'm sorry, but Will told me that you are pregnant and I accidently just blurted it out to these two." She pointed at Rossi, who had a grin on his face, and Reid.

"Oh Pen, it's ok. I knew it wouldn't stay a secret for long." J.J. assured her.

"What wouldn't stay a secret?" Derek asked as he and Emily walked back in the room. "Hey Baby Girl," He whispered as he tenderly kissed her forehead and resumed his place holding her hand.

"You mean there is someone that doesn't know?" J.J. asked, laughing, while looking at Emily.

"Hey, why are you looking at me? I only told Hotch because he needed to know."

Sheepishly Pen held up her right hand, still entwined with Derek's. "I spilled the beans just now to Reid and Rossi."

"Wait, so everyone knows this secret, but me?" Derek asked pretending to be hurt.

"Yep son, it looks that way and this is my cue to head home." He stood up, patted Penelope's leg and said to Reid, "Come on kid, I'll give you a ride home."

"Thanks," Reid replied as he stood up as well, gave Pen an awkward hug and turned to Derek, "Looks like for once I'm not the last to know something." He then followed Rossi out of the room, smirking.

Laughing at Reid's glee, both J.J. and Emily said their goodbye's and left as well.

"That's messed up! No one is going to tell me the secret?" Derek asked, pouting.

"Hot stuff, J.J. is pregnant." Pen told him with a small giggle.

Derek's smile lit up the room. "I've missed hearing you call me that, sweetness. There is so much I need to tell you."

Before he could pour his hear out Pen stopped him. "D, you know I love you and that hasn't changed. But any confessions you want to make are going to have to wait, please. I don't want what happened to be the cause for you to tell me anything. If you still feel whatever it is you're feeling in a couple of months, tell me then when it isn't contaminated by fear, relief or pity. Right now I just need, and want, my best friend."

Derek studied her for a moment. He knew she was trying to hold it together and he didn't want a repeat of the episode from earlier. Seeing her struggle to breathe hurt him, so to avoid that he said, "All right Mama, I can wait. As long as you promise that you won't make any major life decisions without having our discussion first."

Penelope graced him with a smile and said, "I think I can handle that handsome."

Derek leaned up and kissed her on her forehead again. "Get some sleep, Baby Girl. I can see you fighting it. I'm not going anywhere." He stroked her hand as her eyes drifted shut and her breathing became slow and deep. Derek was satisfied with what Garcia had said and would wait forever for her if that's what she needed.

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It had been a week since Penelope had been admitted and she was about to be released to go home. It had been decided that she would stay with Derek until she had full mobility back, although Derek intended it to be permanent. His house had a guestroom and a lack of stairs that appealed to her. Plus, she didn't want to be alone and wasn't going to ask Derek to sleep on her couch, even though she knew he would if she asked.

Penelope had spoken briefly with a psychiatrist while still in the hospital, and they had set up a twice weekly time for Pen to come in. The psychiatrist had agreed with her physician that they should hold off on really discussing anything until her body could handle it. They didn't realize how badly their plan would backfire.

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Two weeks after Penelope had been released, they had settled into a comfortable routine. Strauss had been unusually nice and told Derek that he could take as much time as he needed and work from home if the team needed him.

Derek said it was because she was grateful to him for standing up to her about her drinking.

Pen said it was because the Ice Queen was looking for a hot chocolate God to melt her. Derek almost choked on the coffee he was drinking and then quickly changed the subject before Penelope could gross him out even more.

Every time he would attempt to talk about those horrible two days Pen would shut down. The more he pressed, the more withdrawn she would become. Any other time she would be fine and things were almost normal.

Two weeks after that Derek called Hotch at the end of his rope. "Hotch, man, I'm worried about Penelope." He had told Pen he was taking Clooney for a walk and had gone to the park at the end of his street to call his boss for advice.

"What's wrong, Morgan?" Hotch said, worry evident in his tone.

"I can't get Pen to talk to me about anything that happened, which is not normal. She usually tells me everything. I'm worried that she's not really dealing with this."

"Derek," Hotch said carefully. "She may not ever tell you what happened. Is she going to the psychiatrist?"

"Yea, I know she's talking to her. Last week it seemed like she had turned a corner. She came out of the Doc's office and it was obvious she had been crying, hard. The doc followed her out and she had been crying too. But nothing had changed, Pen doesn't ever cry at home. She absolutely refuses to let me in." Derek ran a hand over his head in frustration.

Hotch's voice came through his phone, calm and soothing, "As long as she is talking to someone, that's a good thing. I know that you want to support her and that talking about it helps to lessen its hold. But Derek, Penelope may never feel comfortable enough to talk to anyone she knows about what happened. That's not a reflection on any of us; it just speaks to the level of trauma. She knows that between Will and Jack we know everything that happened except for when she was alone; and even then we know what happened there. When she is ready to talk to you about it, she will. Until then you can't push her and you have to relax. She may be sensing your anxiety and that could be holding her back."

"I know you're right Hotch," Derek said. "But I just know that something's not right. All of my instincts say that this is wrong. She's acting normal, but not too normal. She's not her bouncy self, which would be suspicious if she were, but it's almost staged when she has her ups and downs. I don't know why Hotch, but I feel like everything I've seen in the past month has just been an act. As her boss, you can talk to her doctor to make sure she is fit for duty. Would you please do that?"

Hotch signed, he was concerned about what Derek had said, but knew that his teammate and friend was too close to the situation to be unbiased. "Derek, I can't do that until it's time for her to come back to work, and she's still got a month at least before she's physically cleared. How about you have us all over for a team dinner tonight? I'll let the other know and we can be on the lookout for any signs that she's not managing."

Hotch heard the frustrated sound that Derek made and continued, "Morgan, you know I trust your judgment but you also know that you are way too involved to be thinking clearheaded. Just because Penelope is not behaving the way you think she should be does not mean that she isn't coping."

Derek told him to have everyone there at seven and quickly ended the call. He knew that Hotch could be right; his emotions could be too close to the surface on this one. He hoped that he was wrong and that his friends would be able to put his anxieties to rest. He just couldn't shake the feeling that he was missing something.

The team dinner went off without a hitch. None of the guests noticed anything odd or suspicious for someone who had experienced such a ordeal a month ago. Derek was left feeling even more unsettled. On one hand he knew what his gut was telling him, but on the other, there was no way Penelope could fool six of the best profilers who were all on alert. He figured that the others were right and he was just reacting from his own emotions to the situation.

Three weeks later he was regretting his decision to leave it alone.