This is for Becca, a lovely girl who I'm so proud to see has a red jewel next to her name.

He's drunk she thinks

Again

At least she thinks

He's not putting it on,

Not this time.

But it's hard to tell

Stumbling

Incoherent words

Bad manners

It drives her mad

He does it on purpose

She's sure,

So he can see her scowl

He knows she tries to hide it

A lady does not frown.

They have celebrations to attend

Haymitch is on the floor

Yet again

Effie will get in trouble for this

Like he cares

Like she cares about him.

They watch the tributes

Both on fire

Maybe they'll win

And Effie will be taken seriously

She knows

All the other escorts laugh

Behind her back

It's obvious

She would laugh too

If she were them.

Peeta and Katniss win

Effie is happy

Effie is as happy as a lady can be

But Haymitch is acting strange

But Effie doesn't care

Not at all.

The quarter quell

The arena beckons

She reads his name out

A one in two chance

He was on the slip

She kept a straight face

Composure

Inside she was dying

Guilty relief

She feels when Peeta volunteers

She lets out a breath

She didn't know she was holding

Not that she cares about Haymitch

No attachment

What so ever.

He's distracted

No talk

No arguments

Life is dull

She misses him

She feels lonely.

They break down the door

They knock her out

Effie isn't treated like a lady

She wants to complain

That makes the pain worse

They ask for information

Effie doesn't have

Effie is in prison

She has no wig

No make up

She feels empty

Ugly

Betrayed.

She misses her old life

She even misses Haymitch

A lot

Their arguments

His drunken flirting

That one time she tried his alcohol

Effie wasn't a lady around Haymitch

It felt almost good.

It feels like forever

But she's broken free

The torture stops

But Effie still feels scarred

She can hear the screams from prison

Remember the pain

She needs to block it out

So needs a distraction

She makes Katniss the mockingjay

All over again

Schedules it all

The stress is welcome

It feels normal

She feels human again

A broken human.

It's time for the big day

She sees him

Her heart stops

She runs at him

Running was bad

A lady does not run

She doesn't care

She's angry

And sad

And hopeful

"Haymitch!"

He stares

He smiles

She cries

He holds her

He says sorry

She doesn't want to forgive him

(Oh but she does)

And that's when she admits

She does care about Haymitch

More than she should.