(A/N: I can only say sorry so many times before you guys get tired of hearing it. Anyway, I AM truly sorry. I've been really busy lately, and I also honestly had NO idea of what to continue this on. I mean, I didn't know what to write next. BUT. Since I've been such a crappy writer/updater, you get this chapter and you'll get a Christmas one on Monday. And I'll try to write another one for New Year's. To make up for the past half year without any signs of existence whatsoever. If you guys are still here, that is. I hope you are! And I hope you enjoy this! Also, WOW, the site HAS changed a lot! Jeesh!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yu-Gi-Oh! It wouldn't have been as great a series as it was if I did.)
Chapter 20
The first time they talk about either of them having kids is after Yugi undergoes his eye surgery.
He's wearing an eye patch and he's finally come down from the effects of the medicines the doctors at the hospital gave him. Yami has been taking care of him, sitting by his side since he was brought home after the surgery, every day after school. He was adorable—well, he's always adorable, but he was even more—under the influence of the pills. Yami tried not to laugh, but this was a moment he'll never forget. And a moment he most likely will never tell Yugi about.
Except for when the occasion is appropriate.
Yugi awakes after having fallen asleep for about an hour. Yami is sitting by his bedside, working on the sheet music for a tune he's composing. November is ending, so Yugi shudders a little when he gets out of the comfort of his bed sheets to stretch his arms above his head.
"Hey," he says to Yami with a smile.
"Hey," Yami says back. "How do you feel?"
"Better," Yugi says. "I really want to take this eye patch off, though, to see if the surgery worked."
"I'm sure it did. How long do you have to wear it?"
"Two weeks," Yugi says.
"Don't worry," Yami tells him, reaching out to grab his hand. "It'll be gone in no time."
Yugi chuckles. "I sure hope so. I don't want to wear an eye patch on Christmas Eve."
Yami laughs at the idea of getting Yugi a Christmas-y eye patch. Maybe a green and red one, or one with a candy cane on it or something. "You're lucky I already have your present, because that gave me a lot of ideas."
Yugi narrows his eyes, but he's smiling. "You didn't have to get me a present," he says.
"I wanted to." Yami shrugs like it's no big deal. He didn't really think about it. He always shops for Christmas early, because his parents would take him and Becky to choose what they wanted to get from Santa in mid-November.
"He needs to have a good idea of what you guys want to start building it!" his father would tell them as they ran throughout the aisles, screaming, "I'd like this! This one's awesome! Ooh, look at that one!"
So the habit kind of stuck. The year Becky died was particularly difficult. Yami didn't ask for anything except getting his sister back, and the only memories he possesses of that Christmas are tears and comforting from his parents. The year after was better, but only because they decided to try to forget about her instead of get over her, until he started getting presents for his parents. And while he was out a few days ago, he saw something he thought Yugi might like and got it without really thinking about it.
"Anyway," Yami says. "Two weeks are nothing compared to how long you waited for the surgery."
"Well, that was because we all thought a surgery might not be needed," Yugi says, and Yami nods. "But you're right. Two weeks aren't that long. Speaking about Christmas, though…"
"What?" When Yami turns to look at Yugi from his sheet music, Yugi's staring at the ceiling, his good eye wearing a lost expression, like he's not exactly here. "What is it?"
"You know how kids are always excited about Christmas?" Yugi asks, his eye still staring at the ceiling.
"Excuse me," Yami says. "I know I'm almost an adult, but I still get excited about Christmas, thank you very much."
Yugi laughs and turns on his side to look at Yami. "I just…" He shrugs, as though he can't find the words to say what he wants to say. "I wonder what it's like for the parents. Seeing their children get so excited. Their faces lighting up when they open a present wrapped in pretty paper and bows to find exactly what they wished for."
Yami looks down at the sheet music on his lap, trying to recall some of his earlier memories, from Christmases where Becky was still with them. "You know," he says. "I never thought about it."
"I think it's worth it," Yugi says with a smile. "When I have kids, I want to see that. I want to see their faces lighting up like mine did—does."
Yami is a little taken aback by Yugi's words. "'When'? So you want to have kids?"
Yugi looks at him with a somewhat surprised and shocked expression. "You don't?"
"I…" He stops mid-sentence, not really sure of what to answer to that question. When he started seriously considering a future with Yugi, he wasn't sure if he wanted kids. Even now, he isn't. "I don't know," Yami says. "Out of curiosity, why do you want to have kids?"
Yugi glances at his hand, the one Yami's holding, before he speaks. "I've always thought that having children is wonderful. It's growing close to someone who is very special from the beginning. It's kind of like meeting your special someone, all over again. You get to know this tiny person; what they like, what they don't, and you also get to be their teacher, their mentor, the one person they can rely on. And at the same time, you're creating a special bond that can't compare to anything else. And I think that that is…" He shakes his head to himself. "Extraordinary."
Yami is breathless. He had never seen the relationship between a parent and their child the way he is now thanks to what Yugi just said. "Wow," he mutters. "There's really no other thing I can think of saying besides wow." Yugi laughs in disbelief.
"I'm sorry," he says between giggles. "That probably didn't make any sense—"
"No, no," Yami says, squeezing Yugi's hand. "I understood what you meant."
Yugi nods to himself, like he's proud that his words made sense instead of being a load of jibber jabber. "I'd like to be a parent and have all of that someday."
"Yeah," Yami says, mostly to himself. "It would be nice, wouldn't it?" Yugi says nothing for a moment, but he's smiling. Yami looks at the time on his cell phone. "It's getting late," he says, standing up from the chair where he's sitting. "I should get going."
"Will you come by tomorrow?" Yugi asks innocently, holding his hands together and pouting slightly.
Yami scoffs. He leans down to kiss Yugi's forehead. "You know I will." Then he kisses Yugi's mouth, and when he pulls back, Yugi's grinning.
"Yes," he says. "I know you will. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Yugi. Sweet dreams."
"Sweet dreams, Yami."
As Yami lies awake in bed that night, he can't get Yugi's words out of his head.
It's kind of like meeting your special someone, all over again. You get to know this tiny person; what they like, what they don't, and you also get to be their teacher, their mentor, the one person they can rely on. And at the same time, you're creating a special bond that can't compare to anything else.
A part of him cherishes the idea of having kids after his talk with Yugi, but another part of him is scared. When Rebecca died, he lost a sister, but his parents lost a daughter. How would he feel if he lost a child? His parents took years to start getting over it. Would he be able to handle it?
Yami misses 'mini-me' in occasions like this. The little fellow would know what to say to him. He always knew exactly what to tell Yami to make him pull himself together. Yami believes, however, that the little guy would tell him that it's a risk he would have to take, like any parent does. One doesn't have a child to keep them tied to themselves at all times. One has a kid because they want what Yugi said he wants. They want to create that special bond between themselves and their son or daughter.
"Yugi will be an amazing father," Yami whispers into his empty room. Without thinking, he takes his cell phone and sends Yugi a text.
Hey. You still awake?
-Yami
A few seconds later, he gets a reply.
Yep. Can't sleep. But that may be because I slept a lot today. You?
-Yugi
Can't sleep either. I was thinking about what you said earlier.
-Yami
What I said earlier in regards of…
-Yugi
In regards of having kids.
-Yami
Oh.
-Yugi
Did it help you in any way?
-Yugi
Yeah.
-Yami
So, do you have an answer now?
-Yugi
I think I do.
-Yami
And…? If it's not too much to ask, I mean.
-Yugi
Yami's fingers hover above the keys. But he thinks back to today's events, and he finds himself typing his answer with a smile.
I DO want to have kids someday.
-Yami