As always, thanks to Maxipoo for beta-ing and to Jaime for the gorgeous banners. Also to Steph and Tasha for nagging me to write and for putting up with me last week in Fan Camp! I had a blast girls! I hope everyone has seen BD2 by now, if not what the heck are you waiting for? I've seen it three times already! This chapter was originally written and donated to the Fandom for Suicide Awareness compilation, so if you donated... you already have this! Sorry! Either way, enjoy!
I need you know you are the only one that I ever loved
Just look what's been done, two hearts beat as one
It's never easy but the two are now one
Just look what's been done, two hearts beat as one
Two Hearts – Paper Route
Mom had thrown an incredible party just like I expected her to; she never disappointed in that department. It had been really hard to keep the news about the baby from all of our friends. Bella was dying to tell them, and I caught her rubbing her abdomen more than a few times over the course of the night. The guests were slowly starting to leave and I was excited to tell everyone. Bella had caught me staring at her again and she had blushed.
She is so beautiful.
"Congratulations, man," Emmett says as he passes me a beer and pats me on the back.
"What are you congratulating me for?" I ask a question that I already know the answer to.
"Bella has declined every drink I've tried to give her, and she's rubbing her belly like it's the fucking lamp from Aladdin. Either she is pregnant or she's got the stomach flu, and she doesn't look sick so congrats, bro." His smile is so big I know I can't deny it to him.
"Thanks, Em, but you can't tell anyone. Bella wants to wait to tell everyone together, and she'll kick my ass if she finds out that I told you."
"But you didn't tell me. I'm just so brilliant that I guessed." He chuckles and takes another drink from his green bottle.
"Fine, but still keep your mouth shut. We're going to make the announcement now that the guests are gone. I think Mom made cupcakes or some shit."
"I thought you said that no one knows?" He smirks
"Well Mom and Dad know. I kind of freaked out this morning when B started puking her guts up. Dad had to talk me down and then drive me to the drugstore to get her some crackers and a pregnancy test." Now I chuckle. It's pretty funny when I think about it.
"Dude! I would have loved to see that! How are you now, though? Are you good, bro?"
"Yeah man, I'm good. I'm actually excited. I can't lie though. I'm scared as fuck. I don't exactly have a very good track record at the whole fatherhood thing." I sigh and try to hold it together in front of Emmett.
"Don't even give me that shit, Eddie. You were an amazing father, and I have no doubt that you will be an amazing father to this new baby. You love Bella more than I have ever seen you love anyone before, except Ben. How could you not love and protect your baby? Her baby?" I've never seen Emmett be so serious, and I think his words are just what I needed to hear.
"When did you get so wise, Emmett? I've never heard you talk like this before. You're freaking me out." I smile at him. I know that Emmett is one of the good guys, and I am so glad that he is on my side.
"You know I'm smart as fuck, bro. I have to be so I can keep up with Rosie." I don't have time to answer him before my parents walk out of the house carrying a huge dessert tray.
"Gather around, guys!" My dad shouts, trying to get our attention. "There is a pressing family matter that we need to discuss."
I look up just in time to see Alice heading toward the house. I have to stop her before Bella sees her trying to leave; she is definitely more than just an event planner in this equation.
"Alice, that includes you. Get back out here before I have to go in after you," I say loud enough for her to hear me. Bella's grip tightens around my waist, and I know that she appreciates my effort to include her friend.
With a smile on her face, Alice moves to stand on the other side of Bella. I see them link fingers and I know that my girl is happy.
"Today is a special day for us Cullen's," Dad says, looking at his family gathered around him and winks at Alice, "extended family included. This morning as your mother and I prepared for this party, Edward and Bella shared some exciting news with us."
As soon as the words leave his mouth all eyes turn to us, and I feel Bella move closer to me. We just stare back at them and watch as they become visibly frustrated.
"Say something, babe," Bella whispers to me.
"Yeah, babe, say something," Alice chimes in.
I clear my throat and try to think of ways to draw this out, not because I don't want to tell them, just because I like to torture them.
Rose gives me the bitch brow, and Emmett looks like he is about to burst. The look on his face is so funny I can't help but laugh.
"Come on, Edward. This isn't very nice." Mom giggles and grabs Dad's hand.
"You already know that Bella is having my baby, Mom, what are you worried about?"
Suddenly it's silent… and then it's not. Alice is first and then Rose. They hug us and kiss us and scream their congratulations to us. It's really quite comical, until I hear the sniffles and see that my sister is sobbing on Bella's shoulder.
Bella looks panicked as I pull Rose off of her and do my best to comfort her. "Shhh, Rosie. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Emmett asks as he comes to my aid.
"I'm okay, I'm really happy actually, just a little emotional," she says but does not release her grip on me.
I rub her back and hold her tight. I know she is thinking of Ben because so am I. I try to convey my understanding without words; the words would be way too much right now. So I just let her cry and thank God I have a sister who loves me so fiercely that my joy brings her to tears.
The evening evolves into a celebration of the best kind; my mom passes out pink and blue frosted cupcakes and my dad fires up the grill again. There is drinking and singing and eventually some dancing. I hold my girl in my arms, and she whispers sweet shit in my ear that makes me wish all of ours guests would leave so I can get her naked again.
"Baby, we have to tell my dad," she says, effectively ruining my thoughts of her naked.
"I know we do, baby girl. We can do it whenever you want. I'd like to do it in person, though. We can fly up to Washington tomorrow if that's what you want."
Her laugh is sweet against my neck when she pulls me impossibly closer. "It doesn't have to be tomorrow, babe, but maybe the next day."
"Okay, the next day then."
~xoxoxoxoxox~
The flight to Seattle from San Diego is way faster than I need it to be. I'm sweating and fidgeting in my seat. Bella does her best to calm me down, talking about things of no consequence and rubbing circles on the back of my hand with her thumb. Needless to say it is appreciated, but it isn't enough. I'm about to show up on my girl's father's doorstep and announce I have knocked her up. Not only have I knocked her up, but I knocked her up before I married her. Oh and said father is licensed to kill me at any time.
"You know you don't have to be scared, right? I mean Charlie has already give us his blessing. He likes you, Edward. Everything is going to be fine." The circles on the back of my hand have stopped, and she has resorted to kissing my neck.
"Bella, stop it." I grab her face and look into her eyes. "Charlie gave us his blessing when he thought we were just dating. He did not intend to give me permission to make you an unwed mother. He isn't going to like me very much after this."
"Who says I'm going to be an unwed mother? We've got some time to make the important decisions. Once we tell my dad about the baby, we will be able to get the family together and figure out what should happen next. You just have to calm down and get through the next few days, okay?" Her eyes are bright, and I can tell she is absolutely serious.
"Are you proposing, baby girl?" I whisper against her lips before I kiss her softly.
"Maybe… what would you say if I was?" Her voice is soft and her eyes are pleading.
"I would say stop trying to chop my balls off and let me do the asking." Her laugh is loud and people stare at us.
Before she can say anything else the captain announces our descent into Sea-Tac, and I am thrust back into reality—a reality where I have to go tell Charlie that he is going to be a grandfather; a reality where I hope that Charlie wants to be a grandfather; a reality where I pray that Charlie doesn't shoot me with his service revolver.
I cannot deny the fact that I'm scared shitless. I want to do the right thing and make Bella my wife, but at the moment there is no ring on her finger. She can be as understanding as she wants to be, but that doesn't mean that her father will feel the same. I know he likes me, and I know that he has accepted that bella and I have chosen to live together, but a baby is a whole different story. A baby is big, huge, in fact.
I want him to know I love his daughter and our baby, and I want nothing more than to make her my wife. Bella is my family and I want him to see that she is my life now. I know that it has only been a short time since Bella has come along and turned my world upside down, but I honestly can't remember what I was like before her. I don't want to remember. I just want this feeling to last forever. The love and the happiness are things I never expected to feel again but then Bella had showed up at my shop, with her smile and her red Adidas, and I knew I would never be the same. She has captured my heart and changed my life irrevocably. I hope that I can make her father understand everything I feel.
"Stop with the worrying, Eddie. Charlie can smell bullshit from a mile away; that's what he's trained to do. We will just be honest with him. If he gives us a hard time or starts yelling, we can just leave. It's going to be fine, I promise." For some reason I believe her. With her hand in mine, we walk away from the gate and into the unknown.
We make it as far as baggage claim before we get a warm welcome from the Chief himself. Charlie is there in full uniform with the cruiser waiting out front.
"Daddy! What are you doing all the way out here? You didn't need to come pick us up. We could have rented a car." Bella lets go of my hand and runs into her father's waiting arms. Their smiles are bright and a mirror image of each other.
"Hey, Edward." Charlie smiles at me as his arms tighten around his daughter. "It's good to see you, son."
"It's good to see you too, sir. Bella and I are so excited to be here." The bullshit just starts falling out of my mouth, and I know he can hear it. For some reason I can't stop. "I can't wait to see where Bella grew up."
I can see his brow furrow, and I know I have gone too far. He looks down at his daughter and then back up at me. "Everything okay with you two? Edward is being kind of weird."
"Everything is fine, Dad. Edward is always weird. No use trying to figure him out. Let's get going." She effectively closes the subject and saves me once again.
The drive is long and fairly tension free. Charlie fills Bella in on all of the town gossip. I listen and laugh in all of the appropriate places, but truthfully I'm getting more anxious with every passing minute. I know there is no variation of the reason we are here; we have to tell Charlie about the baby at some point before we leave. Not a question, but I'm still close to shitting my pants.
I notice my girl looking at me through the mirror every once in awhile. I smile at her when I catch her, and she blushes every time. She's so fucking cute. And she's mine.
I must fall asleep because I'm jolted awake when Charlie stops the cruiser in the driveway. My muscles are sore from being in an awkward position in such a cramped space. I blink and look up just as Bella opens the door for me. She's laughing at me while I try to stretch my neck out.
"Are you laughing at me, Bells? I'm in pain here." I step out of the car and wrap my arms around her.
"I am. You look so funny all scrunched up back there." She is chuckling and I can hear Charlie behind her doing the same.
"Are you cryin' bout having to sit in the back of the cruiser, boy? Would you rather I put my Bella back there?" There is a smirk on his face that I know well. His smart ass daughter smirks at me just like that.
"No, sir." I mumble. The Chief has me fucking mumbling.
I carry our bags into the house, and I wait to see where Charlie is going to have me put our bags. I hate the idea of sleeping without my girl, but I have a feeling that I am not going to have a choice. Bella heads up the stairs behind her dad and I follow them.
"Look," Charlie begins as we step into Bella's childhood bedroom, "I know you guys live together, so I'm not going to make you sleep in separate rooms. I only ask that you behave yourselves while I'm home. Be respectful, that's all I ask."
"Dad! What the heck do you think we're gonna do? I'm not gonna get naked and jump on Edward right in front of you! Have I ever done anything like that before?" Bella's face is red and she actually stomps her little foot.
"Bells, don't say stuff like that to me. Ever!" He looks back and forth between Bella and I. "Meet me downstairs when you're ready so we can head over to the diner for dinner."
I can't hold back my laughter when he walks out of the room. The idea that Charlie would think I would defile his daughter right in front of him is hilarious to me. Bella must feel the same way because she falls onto her bed in a fit of giggles.
"You stay over there, Edward! Keep your filthy paws off of me!" Her laugh is loud and it makes me smile just to hear it. My girl is beautiful, smiling up at me. She holds her belly as she shakes with laughter, and I am reminded of the reason we are here.
I kneel on the floor in front of her bed and replace her hand with my own on her belly. "I love you, beautiful, so much." I don't think we should wait to tell Charlie. I want to tell him now. I want him to have a chance to say whatever he wants to say before we leave."
"Edward, I don't want to ruin the trip before it even starts. Do you really think it's wise to tell him before he's eaten?" Her fingertips are tracing the features of my face, and I can hardly concentrate on her words, but I know that it will be a bad idea to strip her clothes off right now… especially after Charlie's big speech.
"All I know is I don't want to keep this from him. I don't want to keep it from anyone, baby girl. He deserves to know and who knows, maybe he'll be happy about it. Doesn't he deserve to celebrate this with us like my family did? We need to tell him, Bella." I plead with her and I watch as her eyes fill with tears.
"Well go ahead, boy. What is it that you need to tell me?" The Chief stands in the doorway. I'm not sure how long he has been there, so I don't know what he has heard. I do know that I am scared shitless.
I move so quickly to sit on the bed with Bella that I fall on my ass. By the time I make it up onto the bed, Charlie is standing over us and not looking very happy. I can't decide if I want to stand up and face him like a man or if I want to sit here and hold my girl's hand. In the end she decides for me and stands up to face him. Since she doesn't let go of my hand, I have no choice but to stand up with her.
"I think you better sit down for this, Daddy." Her voice is soft but her smile is sweet. If she's scared, she doesn't show it. I am in awe of her as usual.
"Bella Marie, you haven't called me 'Daddy' since you decided to run off to California for school. What is this all about?" He takes my seat on the bed, and now I am looking down at him. Bella squeezes my hand and I know it's my turn to talk.
"Sir, I love your daughter very much. She is the most important thing in my life, and she will always be the most important thing in my life. I hope to marry her one day, when she's ready, of course." I peek over at Bella. She is still smiling; I am not. "All she has to do is say the word and I'd marry her tomorrow."
"I think I believe all of that to be true. Why are you telling me all of this?" Charlie rubs his hand over his face.
"I'm saying it because Bella is pregnant. She's going to have our baby, and I want to make sure you know that I am going to take care of them both. Forever." I look him in the eye as I speak, and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face when I talk about our child.
It takes me a second to realize that Charlie hasn't said anything. When I look at him, I see that he's staring at Bella's midsection, like he can't believe there's something in there. He finally looks at me but quickly goes back to looking at Bella, opening and closing his mouth but still not saying anything. Without a word to either of us he stands and walks out of the room.
This can't be good.
I have to pull Bella back when she heads for the door. I don't think it's the best idea to follow after Charlie just yet. "I think we should give him a minute, babe. Let him process this the way that he needs to process it."
"Fuck that, Edward. I need to be with him. He needs to see that this is what is supposed to happen next in my life. He needs to understand that all those things you just said… I feel those things too. He has to know!" She is crying and it is breaking my heart. The one thing I cannot handle is seeing my Bella cry.
I use the hand that I am holding to pull her back to me, and I wrap my arms around her. "I know, baby. I think he knows it too. We just have to pull back for a second."
But just like I knew she would, she shakes me off and stomps down the stairs. I'm not sure if I should go after her or if I should let her go on her own. To be honest I'm still scared and now I'm scared of both of them.
I find them sitting across from each other in some kind of staring contest. Bella is on the sofa and Charlie is in his chair.
"Have a seat, son," Charlie says without looking at me. "I'm not sure what to say to you two. It seems like you are both happy, which is a good thing, so I guess congratulations are in order."
"Thank you, sir. We are so happy and I hope that you can truly be happy for us." I squeeze Bella's hand and listen to her sniffle beside me.
"Why couldn't you just say that in the first place, Dad? Why did you walk out on us?" Bella is still crying and she moves to sit on the coffee table in front of her father. "Are you really happy for us? This is your grandbaby we are talking about."
"I'm happy, Bells. Of course I'm happy, but I'm also scared for you both. Babies change everything and you're so young. I thought you'd be settled and married when you decided to start having kids." He looks at me when he says the last part.
"Being married isn't the same as being settled, and it certainly doesn't guarantee that we will be happier than if we aren't married. Look at you and Mom! I'm settled, Dad. Edward is it for me and we are going to get married someday. I don't want people to think that we are doing it because I'm pregnant, Dad. We love each other and that should be all that matters." My girl is going from sad to hurt to angry and I want it to stop. I know that we can't leave this unresolved. Charlie is all she has besides Alice and me.
"It is all that matters. You are going to make a great mom, and I'm sure that Ed will make a great dad." Charlie stands and brings Bella with him, hugging her tightly. "Congratulations, you two." He extends a hand to me and pulls me into their hug.
"Thanks, Grandpa," I say and it makes Bella erupt into a fit of giggles. It's the best sound I've heard all day.
A/N: Thanks to Maxipoo1024, for once again being my beta extraordinaire and Jaime Arkin for making the AWLT banner. Also, many thanks to the organizers of this compilation, you ladies have put so much time and love into this event. Thank you for allowing me to play a small part in your amazing effort!