Hello people! This is the second chapter of Link's misadventures in wind waker! This chapter is the first not to include, our well known talking boat the king of red lions! He appears in the next chapter though. Anyway, I'll stop talking and let you read on! J
Link's misadventures in wind waker: The forsaken fortress
Link looked off in the distance as the pirate ship sailed away from outset, waving as if he was sad about leaving the island he's known for all of his messed up, strange life. Tetra stood behind him, obviously annoyed, and glared at him.
"Link, if you're sad to leave your little island," She said, "I can throw you overboard and let you swim back"
Link turned around.
"Oh, I don't miss the island," He said, "I was just making it look like I did. I don't want anyone thinking I don't miss them"
"You don't though" Tetra said
"Yes, but I don't want them thinking that"
"And what about your little sister?"
"I plan on rescuing her, even though she's annoying. More annoying than those one enemies that make that one annoying noise that drives just about everyone crazy"
"Yeah, those are annoying, but we have important business to get done"
"But, Captain. Link and yourself just broke the fourth wall" Mako pointed out
"Shut up, Mako!" They screamed
The pirate sighed and walked away with his, unnecessarily thick, book. Tetra looked at Link with a look of disgust.
"What? Did I do something wrong already? I've only been on this ship for five minutes and I'm already being hated" Link said
"I don't hate you" Mako added in
"Shut up, Mako!" They screamed at him again
Tetra looked back at Link.
"No, I don't hate you, but you know what you're supposed to be doing right now" She said
"No, I don't! No one ever told me what I'm supposed to be doing right now! I'm not a genius, you know?" He snapped at her
"Oh, in that case. Go see Niko, the second lowest ranked pirate on this ship"
"Who's the lowest ranked?"
"You. You obviously just joined us and clearly deserve the rank you got"
Link only sighed and went to meet up with Niko. He opened the door to the inside of the ship and looked around. He raised an eyebrow and looked over at, what appeared to be, Tetra's bed room. The pirate guarding it looked at him.
"What are you looking at, knave?" He asked
"I'm clearly looking at you and this isn't the middle ages. No one in this universe says knave" Link responded with his arms crossed.
"Well, than. As you can see, I am guarding Tetra's bedroom from evil!"
"The only people on this ship are the pirates, Tetra and myself. Who could possibly go and bestow evil upon this ship?"
The pirate went silent.
"I don't know. Tetra pays me to do this. She literally said that she would tie me up from the plank and use me as shark bait, if I refused to do this" He snapped
"We get paid?" Link asked
"No, she says that so people don't think she's a cheap pirate captain that constantly neglects her crew"
"Isn't she though?"
"Yes, she is"
It went silent for a second. All that was heard was Tetra, once again, screaming "Shut up, Mako".
"What does she have against that guy?" Link asked
"Mako? I don't know. She just hates him" The pirate said
"Do you all hate him to?"
"No, of course not. He's the smart pirate. We'd be screwed without him. Tetra just hates him for some unspecified reason"
"Ah. Listen, I'm sorry to stop this conversation early is, but I need to go meet with Niko about something that was clearly not told about"
"Niko? You mean the second lowest ranked pirate on this ship?"
"Yes, that guy. Now, I must go before Tetra finds me and screams at me nonstop like she's doing to Mako out there"
"Shut up, Mako!" Tetra yelled louder than the last time
The pair went silent and stared at one another for a second. Link walked away slowly, before running in the opposite direction. He walked down a stair case into a large, open space that appeared to be without people at all.
"Oh, hello! You must be the new guy, Link" Someone said
"Yes, how in heck did you know that?" Link asked him'
"My name is Niko. I'm in charge of testing the new guys to see if they're ready for the life of a pirate" Niko explained
"Listen, I'm just here temporarily. Tetra said she would sail me to where my sister is being held captive and then I'm on my own. I'm not here to become a real pirate and sail the great sea in search of treasure"
"Tetra says otherwise. Pirates that enter this ship, don't get away that easy. This is where you'll be trapped for your childhood years. Being raised to steal from innocent citizens and hunt for unnecessary treasure, that probably doesn't get spent anyway"
"Shut up, Niko. Just let me get this test over with"
"As you wish, knave"
"I just got done telling the guy guarding Tetra's room that this isn't the middle ages"
"Whatever you say, kid"
Link only sighed, clearly annoyed with being called names that made no sense what so ever. Niko ran over to one of two switches and jumped on it. A bunch of platforms rose from the floor.
"Platforming? This is the test that every pirate has to pass?" Link asked
"It's not as easy as it looks, kid. This test took me two years to master. I bet it'll take you longer than two years" Niko said
"Done!" Link screamed from across the area
Niko's jaw dropped when he noticed that Link had managed to cross the platforms in almost fifteen seconds flat.
"How the heck did you do that? That literally took you almost fifteen seconds! Are you some kind of deity?" He asked
"No, I'm just a twelve year old kid from outset island. I've been doing this kind of thing for years, for absolutely no reason to"
"I hate you, but as required, take the treasure"
"I bet this'll be the most awesome treasure ever!"
Link opened the chest and scowled when he came out with only a bag.
"A bag? Is this some kind of joke?" Link yelled to him
"It's a spoilers bag. You can use it to store collectables in!" Niko responded
"It's better than a green rupee?"
"How are you going to get back? You can take the ladder if you want"
"Or I can do this"
"How did you get here?"
"I did the plat forming thing again. This time, it took me twelve seconds!"
"Dang, you're good"
Link didn't say anything and walked back up the stairs. Niko sighed and sat down on the wooden floor.
"I am so lonely. Can someone please come and keep me company?" He yelled
"No one is going to keep you company, Niko. Deal with it" The pirate from upstairs said
(Meanwhile outside)
"When the hell did it turn night time?" Link asked
"No one knows. The time system in this game makes no sense at all" The pirates said
"This is just sad, we're two chapters in and the fourth wall has been broken like five times now. Is this going to be some kind of running gag?"
"Maybe" Mako said
"Shut up, Mako!" Everyone screamed at him
Link stared at everyone, not knowing what to say about that. He walked away slowly and ran to the ladder, climbing it to the top as fast as he could. When he reached the top, Tetra was waiting for him.
"It's about time you show up!" She screamed in his face
"I'm sorry, but I was with Niko. And those pirates done there are crazy" He said
"I know right? That's why I'm up here"
"So, what exactly do you need?"
"Look over there"
Link did as told and looked over in the direction she was pointing.
"Please don't tell that my sister is being held there" He said
"I can't do that. Do you see that window with all the seagulls flying around it?" Tetra asked
"Yes, let me guess, my sister and who ever else is being held in there"
"How did you know?"
"Seagulls love my sister"
"How do you know that?"
"Seagulls literally delivered her to our house in a basket. My parents never figured out who her parents were and decided to keep her"
"That's strange, but that's not important right now. We need to get you into that fortress"
"How? it's heavily guarded," He looked over at some barrels, "I wonder if there is money stashed in here"
Tetra grinned.
"I just got the bestest idea ever!" She screamed
"Don't you mean the best idea ever?" Link asked
"No, it's funnier when you say bestest. The author is a better writer than you think she is"
"Six, the fourth wall has been broken six times"
"Stop counting that!"
(five minutes later)
"Let me out of this dang barrel right now! I don't deserve to be launched into the fortress like this!" Link screamed
"Relax, Link. We know what we're doing," She looked over at Gonzo, "You know what you're doing, right?"
"Maybe" He responded
She looked over at Link.
"We know what we're doing," She took at hold of the switch, "One!"
"I don't want to do this" Link said
"Two!"
"Get me out of here now!"
"Too late, three!"
"I hate you all!" Link screamed as he went flying through the air
The pirates watched as he flew, hitting the wall of the fortress and dropping his sword onto the platform and sliding down into the water,'
"Oops, our aim was off. Should we run?" Tetra asked
"Definitely" Gonzo said
The ship instantly turned and took off, somehow, at lightning speed. Link got to the surface and groaned.
"They hit me into a wall and DITCHED ME!" THOSE JERKS!" He screamed
He climbed onto land and sighed with annoyance. All of a sudden, he felt his tunic vibrate and jumped. He looked down to see a blue gem lying on the ground glowing. He slowly picked it up.
"Link, I slipped this gem into your pocket when we put you into the barrel, Sorry that Mako misfired it and made you hit that wall" Tetra said
"I did not!" Mako screamed
"Shut up, Mako. Anyway, I want you to avoid getting caught by those spotlights and make your way over to those spotlight areas and shut them down. There is an enemy manning each one"
"Without a sword?" Link asked
"There happens to be a pot of sticks located near the enemy. Grab one and kill him"
"How do you know this?"
"Strategy guide"
"There's goes the seventh time. The fourth wall has been broken seven times now"
The gem stopped glowing.
"Oops, I just annoyed her and now she's not helping me. Oh, well. I might as well go do what she said to do" He said
Link made his way up the stairs.
(Fifteen minutes later, at the last spotlight area)
"Die, you stupid ugly monster! I will not let you hinder me in my quest to save my adorable, yet annoying, little sister!" Link screamed as he whacked the monster repeatedly with a stick
The monster eventually backed away and ran away screaming at his unstoppable rage. The monster was dumb enough not to realize that there was a ledge and fell off, drowning. Link shrugged and walked away from the spotlight area, proud of violent effort.
(ten minutes later, at the moblin room)
"How in heck do I do this?" He asked himself
"You really don't know? You have to jump into one the barrels and slowly, yet carefully, make your way to the door without getting caught by the moblins" Tetra explained
"Or I could do this" Link said taking our a bag of Doritos and throwing them off
The two moblins noticed this and jumped down from the area to find them. Link smirked as Tetra sighed in annoyance at how lazy Link really was.
"See, it worked" Link said
"I hate you" She said
(ten minutes later, in the room with the cage and the three girls)
"That was an amazingly violent battle. It would be a shame if the author didn't show it in order to keep a good rating" Link said proudly
"Link, that's exactly what she did. She wants to avoid violence, but she didn't skip the part where you violently barraged that monster with a stick to his suicidal death" Tetra explained
"She's a strange girl,," Link said proudly, "And she's the strange author of this strange story as well"
"Eight, Link," Tetra said, "The fourth wall has been broken eight times in these two chapters"
"Shut up, Tetra!"
Link looked around and grinned when he saw his little sister in a cage with two other girls. He ran up to the cage and the three girls looked up.
"Big brother, you came to save me!" His sister cried
The other two didn't look amused.
"What about us? We're important to! I'm rich for goddesses sake!" The other blonde screamed
"Mila, we don't care about that" The red head stated
"Listen, girls. I'm just here to rescue my sister. I told my home island that I would rescue her and bring her back safely. I'm sorry that I can't rescue you two, but I'm sure someone will and return you two to your homes" Link said
"Karma will get you for this. If you don't save us, Karma will get her revenge" The red head added
"Karma? What can she do? Send a giant bird to swoop down and grab me, chucking me off to some random island in the great sea?" Link asked
"Actually, yes" His sister said
Link slowly turned around and sighed.
"I should of seen this coming" He said
The bird reached out it's claw and grabbed him, flying off with him.
"Big brother!" His sister screamed
"That's what you get for not saving us!" Mila and the red head screamed
"Oh, do you want to start something, because my brother is the greatest hero ever!"
The three girls bickered back and forth as the bird carried Link to his master.
"Oh my goodness! It's an ominous looking man that also appears to be somewhat fat" Link screamed
"I am not fat! Why do people insist that I am? You know what? At first, I was going to lock you up in a cage with your sister and let you live, but now I'm going to have my bird throw you as far away as I want him to!" The man screamed at him
The bird and Link only stared at him.
"What are you waiting for? THROW HIM" He bellowed
"I'm sorry" Link said
"It's too late for I'm sorry, kid. Bird, THROW HIM"
The bird nodded and threw him in a random direction. The mad man laughed manically as he watched the kid fly away, all while the kid was screaming like a girl on helium.
"Screw you, mysterious stranger!" Link screamed
Game over! D:
Well , that's the end of chapter two. I think this one is longer than chapter one! Oh my goodness, how on earth did I manage to put more effort into chapter two? Lol. Anyway, read and review. I hope you all enjoyed chapter two! J
See ya! And BTW: I apologize if some of you were getting annoyed by me referring to Link's sister as "his sister". I know her name, but I couldn't spell it. Thanks for reading!