Hello people! it's me again! First of all, I want to say something in response to the person who reviewed. First of all, it was supposed to be a one chapter story, but I decided to make it a multi chapter story afterwards. Sorry for that confusion. Last of all, I read the reviews and thank you. I read somewhere in there that Link is sexually attracted to guys, but he's not. If I accidentally put something in the first chapter that sounds like he was, sorry! I really didn't know the definition of heterosexual back when I typed that. So, oops.
Anyway, enough of that stuff. This is the third chapter of Link's misadventures in wind waker. I hope you all enjoy this, because I already have other ideas for future chapters and I really work hard on these.
Link's misadventures in wind waker: The forbidden woods
"Link, stop goofing off and get play the dang wind's requiem!" The king of red lions barked at Link
"No, I want to take a break," He said, "Going through dungeons is hard"
"Link, that was only the first dungeon of the game. If you feel that it was hard, I really don't know what to say"
"Listen to me, I said I would rescue my sister. I never said that I would go on some quest to save the great sea from a psychotic mad man that intends to take it over"
"Link, he isn't really going for that. He's looking for the princess, Zelda. By the way, his name is Ganondorf. I told you this three times before this moment"
"Well, I prefer to call him Ganondork or Ganondouche" Link said
"Link, you are aware that this parody isn't about making fun of others, right?"
"No, but that's how I look at it. Who cares if she's trying to be funny by messing with our character and making us say or do stupid things? I certainly don't"
The king of red lions only glared at him.
"Link, you worked so hard to get through that one dungeon. Now, continue this quest and find princess Zelda or I will make sure that you die in the most cruel way possible" He snapped at him
Link looked frightened and took the wind waker out.
"Okay, tell me what the directions are" He said
"You didn't memorize it?" The king of red lions asked
"No, I have a bad memory. Now, refresh it"
"Fine," He sighed, "It's up, left and, then, right"
"Thank you"
Link played the wind's requiem and stared at the King of red lions like he was supposed to instruct him on what to do. He only sighed
"South, Link. It's south" He said
"Thank you" He responded, setting the wind direction to south
Link entered the boat, placing the wind waker back in his pocket, and setting up the sail. The pair then set off to their next destination.
"King of red lions, where is our next destination anyway?" Link asked his partner
"It's the forest haven, home of the koroks and, my close friend, the great deku tree" The king of red lions responded
"You're friends with a tree?"
"Yes, Link. I am friends with a tree. Got a problem with that?"
"Actually, yes. I don't want to be traveling with some tree hugger, I have to take my anger out on something"
"You cut down trees when you're angry?"
"Yes, I need something to take my anger out on!"
"That's harsh, Link. Imagine how mad the people who actually like nature are going to be once they hear this"
"I don't care. I may be an unofficial hero, but I still keep up my bad habits"
"Wouldn't that make you hypocritical hero? Or perhaps a sociopathic hero?"
"I'm not a sociopath. I just do things that most heroes would never do, there is a huge difference"
"Sure there is, Link. Sure there is"
(fifteen minutes later on forest haven)
The duo arrived at forest haven. The king of red lions stared at in awe. Link, on the other hand, didn't care and just wanted to go kill something on the island.
"Link, welcome to forest haven" The king of red lions said
"Why on earth did we come here? All I see is a pointless island" Link said
"This is the location of the next pearl"
"What pearls?"
"The pearls that are required to get into the third dungeon of this game'
"I don't get you"
The king of red lions sighed.
"Just enter the island, Link"
"Okay"
(five and a half minutes later, inside forest haven)
Link walked into the island, clearly not impressed by what he saw.
"This place makes me sick," He said, "Why on earth did I let the king of red lions convince me to come here. Now, where in heck is that deku tree that he told me about"
He walked around the area for several minutes before stopping on a random Lilly pad located in the center of the room. He looked up and sighed.
"How did I not the huge tree in the middle of the room? I am that stupid?" He asked himself
He approached the tree, poking it, and backed away.
"I don't see a point to this" He said
All of a sudden, a bunch of chus appeared on the tree. Link's eyes went wide as he drew his sword out of it's sheath and got into position. He was even more surprised when the tree came to life and starting screaming. He dropped his position and stared, jaw dropped, at the tree.
"What the fudge? The tree can talk?" He asked himself
All of a sudden, the army of chus jumped off the tree towards Link. Link was about to run, but the entire group covered him and was proceeding to attack him nonstop. The tree only stared as the child was beaten to death.
"This is getting old," The tree said, "Koroks, help him"
All of a sudden, a group of plant people appeared from the behind the great tree and proceeded to beat the chus with sticks. The group of chus disappeared in a puff of smoke and formed a circle around the boy. Link stood and stared at the group of people.
"Hi," He said, "Who are you people?"
"We are the koroks," They all said, "Servants of the great deku tree and protectors of nature. Here to reassure that the great sea will have various forms of flora, rather than the deadly plants outside that have attempted to ear us in the past"
"Their seeds are useful though" One of the koroks added
"That's true" All the other koroks said
"Can you just explain if there's a problem here? I am the unofficial hero of this game and I need something heroic to do or this is just a pointless quest" Link said
"Oh, there are no problems," The deku tree said, "We are just preparing for the festival, in which we give out the goddesses pearl to the person of our choice. Everything is going according to plan, we are in no need of help"
All of a sudden, a random korok literally popped up from thin air in front of the tree.
"I am so sorry to interrupt this great conversation you've all starting here, but I come here with terrible news about our dear korok Makar" He said
"I have two questions to ask. One, what the haystack happened? And two, WHERE THE HECK DID YOU COME FROM?" The deku tree asked
"Oh, Makar and I were challenging each other to race from one end of the island to the other and he fell into the forbidden woods. And , to answer your next question, I am the strange magical korok that makes super excellent potion"
"Why were you two flying above the forbidden woods?" The tree asked
"It was a race. Why the heck not?"
"Your dumb. Now we have absolutely no violin player for the festival"
Link suddenly realized something and grinned.
"I can save him! I am the unofficial hero of this game!" He announced
"Why the unofficial hero?" One of the koroks asked
"The king of red lions says I make an awful hero and that all I'm good for is causing trouble, but I'll prove him wrong. So, send me into to rescue your dear friend, Makar, and return him here without a problem"
The koroks and their tree master thought about it for a second.
"That is a very generous offer, my friend. We will accept your help, but first you need the item that allows you to fly across great distances with the power of magic" The tree said
"Great! Where can I get this item?" Link asked
"You can only get it from using those flowers to jump from branch to branch and making it to the highest point of me"
"Are you serious? Is this like a super special item?"
"Sure, let's go with that. Do you want it or not?"
"Of course I want it. This should be a piece of cake!"
(Almost twenty-five tries later)
Link, bruised and cut up, finally reached the highest point of the great deku tree. He made a sigh of relief and sat down with a thud.
"That was the worst thing that I could possibly done" Link said
"Tell me about it" A random korok said from next to him
"Where the haystack did you come from?"
"I took the elevator up here. You didn't know about that?"
"No! Why wasn't I told about this?"
"I guess you didn't ask about it. Anyway, you wanted the sacred item that gives one the ability to fly across great distances"
"Yes, give it to me!"
"As you wish, my friend"
The korok handed Link a leaf about the size of his body. The hero only stared at him as he turned the leaf in his hands.
"You only gave me a huge leaf. Why is this important?" Link asked him
"That is the great deku leaf. It gives the power of flight to however uses it, but it only works if you jump from a cliff of some sort" The korok explained
"So, I have to risk my life in order for this to work?"
"Yes, pretty much. Now, use your new item to fly over to that area of grass"
"You mean the one shaped like an arrow, pointing to the way of the temple?"
"Of course, my friend! Now, go and rescue our dear friend, Makar, and return him safely to this island!"
Link sighed and made his way to the temple.
(Almost thirty minutes later, at the temple)
Link groaned, clearly annoyed, and shoved the leaf back into his pocket.
"I can't believe I failed that almost twenty-three times in a row," He said, "I barely have any magic left"
"Link, you only have a small meter of magic. How in heck did you have enough magic to fail twenty-three times?" The king of red lions asked from the gossip stone
"I hacked the game so that I would have the double magic bar when I got the first magic consuming item. Chaos didn't seem to mind"
"That's because you threatened to cut her with your sword and tell all of her embarrassing secrets to all of the world. You literally black mailed her in order to do that"
"Yes, I did. And I'm pretty proud of myself. Now, let's not waste anymore time and get through this temple already"
(Later at the mini boss chamber)
Link entered the room and looked around.
"Why does every room in this temple resemble a demon infested forest?" He asked
"Because, Link. It's a forest temple. The temple has been taken over by a monster known as a boss. You are currently in the mini boss chamber, where you will battle the mid boss of this dungeon for the main item of the island" The king of red lions said
"Well, than. Where's the mini boss? I don't see it anywhere," He looked up, "Why the heck is there glitter falling from the ceiling?"
"Look up"
Link did as he was told and looked up. His eyes went wide when he noticed a moth hanging above the door. The moth flew into the center of the room.
"Salutations, hero. My name is mothula, the mini boss of the forbidden woods. I am here to hinder your quest to the main boss chamber. As well as protect the very special item" The moth said
"You can talk? I didn't know bosses can talk!" Link said
"Well, my friend. We can talk and now I will defeat you uses my raw power and…."
The moth was interrupted by Link.
"And glitter" He added
"It's not glitter, my poor mistaken friend" He argued
"No, I'm sure it is"
"No, it's not"
"It sparkles like glitter and it certainly looks like it. Are you sure it isn't?"
"No it's not just ask my little children over there"
Link looked over at a group of spike balls sitting in the corner of the room. They appeared to have one eye and looked undeniably adorable.
"Those are yours? They look so much cuter than you" Link said
"Yes, they are, and I am just as cute as them!" He screamed
"No, you're not, Daddy" The little spike balls said
The moth went silent. Link only stared at it, expecting it to attack.
"Hello? Are you going to attack me? You are a mini boss after all"
All of a sudden, the boss exploded all over the room. Link and the little spike balls appeared to be covered in black ashes.
"What the hell just happened?" Link asked
A mothula with no wings entered the room.
"Oh, he exploded. That's what happens to grown up mothulas when they're insulted. Don't worry, he'll respawn in a bit. You may want to run before he does" The wingless mothula said
"Are you his wife?"
"Yes, I am his wife and these are my lovely children"
"Hello Mr. green man!" The spike balls said
"Oh, okay than. Have fun with that. I have a dungeon to finish" Link left the room
"Goodbye Mr. green man!" The spike balls said
(Later at the boss chamber)
"King of red lions, this has been the worst temple yet. I cannot believe that I have dealt with this place for this long, but who cares? I have an innocent korok to rescue and I will indeed rescue him! No one will stop me!" Link screamed
"Link, you're taking this a little too seriously. This won't make you an official hero. It'll only bring you closer to becoming an official hero. Now, stop being a butt head and save this korok already" The king of red lions said
"Butt head is a stupid insult, partner. Were you like trying to avoid swearing?"
"Yes, Chaos wants us to avoid swearing. So, she came up with some cheap excuse for an insult and told me to use that instead of a cuss word. Trust me, I'm not happy about it either"
"Screw Chaos! She has no power over us!"
All of a sudden, a random bolt of lightning came and struck Link. Link sighed.
"She does and always will," He said, "Hey look, it's a korok!"
He pointed to a short, chubby looking korok standing in the middle of the room, waving his short, stubby arms.
"Hello, hero. My name is Makar. Thank you for coming to my rescue. Allow me to play you a song in your honor!" He said taking out a violin
"Cool, there's no boss" Link said
All of a sudden, a deku baba showed up and swallowed the korok whole. Link only stared.
"Dude, that's cannibalism! You cough that little korok out right now, you demented plant!" Link screamed at him
The plant ignored him and covered himself up with a giant flower. Link glared at him.
"Oh, so that's how it's going to be! Well, bring it on!" He screamed
The plant started slapping Link senseless with it's sharp, long vines. Link, eventually stopping them, started doing the same. The king of red lions, watching from the gossip stone sighed.
"Link, use the boomerang! It's the dang main item of this dungeon!" He screamed
Link stopped and pulled the boomerang out, throwing it at the vines. It cut all the vines, but they instantly regenerated and stuck to the ceiling once again.
"It's not working, Link. What else do you have?" The king of red lions asked
"I've got two sticks" Link said
"What use is that?"
Link ignored him and started rubbing the two sticks together as fast as he could. The king of red lions didn't look amused and decided that it was about time for the unofficial hero to die anyway. All of a sudden, the two sticks set on fire and sent sparks flying around the room. The boss burst into flames and released Makar. Link caught him and looked around to see the room was setting on fire.
"Oh, hero. Thank you for saving me, but how will we escape this room alive?" Makar asked
"I've got an idea," He snapper his fingers and a light from the ceiling appeared next to him, "See? There's an escape light!"
"How on earth did you summon that?"
"I didn't, I knew that was coming. I just wanted you to think I had super magical powers"
Makar glared at him.
"Just enter the escape light before we burn to death" He said
Link took a quick step to the right and the pair disappeared as the room was engulfed in flames.
(Meanwhile in forest haven)
The koroks inside the island and the great deku tree were playing a game of cards, waiting for the hero to return with their dear friend.
"Anyone got any threes?" The deku tree asked
"You asked us that question three times already, master, and we all told you no. You are the only one who has threes. You literally have an entire hand of threes" One of the koroks said
"Oh, does anyone have any threes?"
"NO, MASTER, WE DON'T! NOW, STOP ASKING US THAT!" All the koroks screamed
All of a sudden, Link and Makar appeared in the middle of their little circle. Link looked around at the koroks.
"Oh, hi. I found your friend! And accidentally burnt down the entire forbidden woods" Link said
Everyone remained silent. Link began to worry.
"Did I do something wrong?" He asked
"Wrong? You did something beyond wrong" The deku tree said
"I'm sorry! Don't murder me! I have a life to live. I have so much more things I've always wanted to do with my life!"
"You did the bestest thing ever!"
"Tree, bestest isn't a word. You mean you did the best thing ever"
"It sounds funnier that way"
Link slapped a hand on his forehead and sighed heavily.
"Anyway, when does this festival of yours start?" He asked
"Now" The koroks said
Makar jumped from Link's hand to the Lilly pad located the center of the room and took out his violin.
"And to start off this fabulous festival, I will play a song in honor of our unofficial hero, Link!" He said
"Why do people keep saying unofficial hero? I am so a hero" Link said
"You keep telling yourself that, Link" Everyone else in the room said
Link pouted, crossing his arms, and sitting down in the center of the circle. Makar had just started to play his song in honor of him, while every other korok was now circling around Link wearing party hats.
"This really isn't necessary, guys. Running circles around me wearing party hats is actually kind of awkward" Link said
"Do not question the tradition of the koroks. Shun the non believer! Shun!" The koroks screamed, still ruining circles around Link.
Link sighed.
"Someone, kill me now" He sighed
All of a sudden, the violin music stopped. The koroks stopped running circles around him. Everyone, but Link, was starting upward.
"Here comes the great goddesses pearl" One of the koroks announced
Link looked up and smiled
"Well , that seems like a fine reward for this quest" He said
All of a sudden , he had a bad feeling something bad was about to happen.
"Why does it appear to be falling faster?" He asked
"Move, Link! MOVE!" Everyone else screamed
The pearl hit Link directly in the face, knocking him clean out. The koroks and their master stared at him in silence. They all looked up after a second.
"Party, anyone?" Makar asked
"Heck yeah!" Everyone else screamed
Everyone, but the deku tree, began dancing circles around, an out cold, Link. Clearly not noticing that he was knocked out.
(Thirty minutes later, outside the island)
"…What the heck? Where I am?" Link said sitting up
"Oh, you were knocked out by the goddesses pearl and, then, the korok proceeded to dance circles around your uncurious body" The king of red lions explained
"I was knocked out by a pearl?"
"Yes, you looked pretty stupid, but, hey, the koroks had fun"
"Screw the kor…"
The end! J
Well, that's the end of chapter three. I hope you all enjoyed it. And if you didn't, I would really prefer that you don't express your hate in the reviews. For those who do like it, review if you want to. I do accept constructive criticism. So, if you happen to see some things I need to work on, feel free to tell me! Anyway, I hope you liked it and see ya! J