Hello Ladies and gentlemen! First of all, I want to apologize about last chapter. I feel that's it not's as long or funny as the others. I'm sorry if anyone was unsatisfied with that chapter and plan on improving on it later. Second of all, this chapter is brought to you by Medli! Medli, because this is her first appearance in this story! I hope you enjoy this chapter! J
Link's Misadventures in Wind Waker: The Earth Temple
The king of red lions was docked under where he first met Link, having a nice conversation with his little fish friend.
"So, what you're saying is, Legend of Zelda is better than Mario will ever be?" The fish asked the king of red lions.
"Yes, that's what exactly what I'm saying. Mario is a game about an Italian plumber, in a land known as Mushroom Kingdom, who jumps in and out pipes to rescue Princess Toadstool from the clutches of a psychotic mad turtle that can breath fire. Where's the logic in that?" The king of red lions responded.
"There is no logic, but look at Wind Waker! It's about a boy, from a small island, on his birthday. Than his birthday gets ruined by a giant bird with a pirate ship chasing it. The boy than goes to rescue his sister, who has been captured and mistaken for the princess, and gets thrown thousands of miles away where he is saved by a talking boat and forced to save the great sea"
The pair went silent.
"Touché, my friend" The king of red lions said.
"Mario will always be the best. He is Nintendo's mascot for din's sake!" The fish cried.
"I didn't really ask for a life's story"
"I'm not telling you my life story though. Why do you hate me?"
"I don't hate you. That's just a way of saying that we don't have time for a long story"
"Or you just don't care to hear it"
"That to"
The pair glared at one another for several silent minutes.
"Hey," The fish said, "Did you notice that both Zelda and Mario both have the save the princess gimmick?"
The king of red lions only continued to glare at him before going into deep thought.
"I guess I haven't noticed that before," He said, "I guess that makes Mario a little better, but Zelda is still better"
The fish slapped the king of red lions across the face with his fin before going back under and swimming away from him.
"I guess I ticked him off," The king of red lions said, "Sweet, I'm alone now!"
All of a sudden, he heard the sounds of Link's screams coming toward him. He sighed and peered out of the area to see Link running toward him. Link slid to a stop in front of him, panting.
"We need to go get whatever it is we need to do done with NOW!" He screamed.
"Are you starting to get serious about this quest or did you manage to tick off a lot of people on this island?" The king of red lions asked his partner.
"The second one, but it's not that many people"
"What did you do?!"
"I broke into Maggie's house and shattered all her father's antique vases, broke into the shop when the guy wasn't watching and stole twenty rupees, hit of least twenty or more people with my arrows for no reason and shattered all the windows on Windfall Island"
"How on earth did you do that all? That seems quite impossible"
"No, it's possible, you just need an idiot like me and anything is possible!"
The king of red lions glared at him, motioning him to enter him. Link quickly jumped into the boat and pulled the wind waker out of his pocket, playing the ballad of gales. The king of red lions realized something just as the twister was about to appear.
"Link, we're docked under that land with the dancing guy on it!" He screamed.
"Who cares? That guy is annoying anyway!" Link said.
The king of red lions knew that Link's, already bad, reputation was about to get ten times worse than it was now, but he decided not to bother with it and let Link face the consequences. Link looked down to see that the twister had destroyed the piece of land that the dancing guy was on. He thought about it for a second, but than innocently looked away from the "accident". The guy rose out of the pile of rubble.
"Screw you! What kind of hero are you?" He screamed.
(Meanwhile on Outset Island)
"Why did we warp here? I Thought I set it so we would warp to Great Fish?" Link wondered.
"No, I decide where we go" The king of red lions stated.
"So, I just play the music and you actually decide where we go? Isn't that unfair?"
"No, because I'm the elder here. You're just the twelve year old that I have to work with in order to save the Great Sea"
"Well, that does make sense, but I still don't see why I can't where we go"
"Link, you're an irresponsible twelve year old. I can't trust you to know where to go"
"I am not irresponsible!"
"Look what you did to Windfall!"
"Oops. Than never mind, I am"
The pair looked around in silence.
"Where are we supposed to go anyway?" Link asked his partner.
"To headstone island," He responded, "We need to meet up with the sage of earth, Laruto, and learn what it is were supposed to do next"
"Please don't me tell that this is the Earth Temple"
"Why? What would you do if I did?"
"Scream, jump off this ship and swim to Outset"
"And than what?"
"And hide from you! And those dang redeads!"
"Link, you have to deal with this eventually"
"Can't I deal with this later? I want some time to screw around"
"No, shut up before I call those bomb ships"
"Fine"
(ten minutes later, at headstone island)
The pair stopped on shore of the island and looked around.
"So, this is Headstone Island?" Link asked.
All of a sudden, a random bomb landed next to them. The pair stared at one another.
"Is that going to blow?" Link asked.
"Yes. NOW RUN, because I can't" The king of red lions said.
Link ran out of the ship and jumped behind a rock on the island, expecting the bomb to explode and cover his friend with black ash. The king of red lions closed his eyes in horror and waited for the boom, but nothing came. He opened his eyes and looked down at the bomb. All of a sudden, the bomb fell apart in front of him. The king of red lions raised an eyebrow and looked at the piece of paper that was inside it.
"Welcome to Headstone Island," He read aloud, "I'm a glad that you made it this far. Please take this red rupee as your reward"
Link climbed out from behind the rock and approached his partner. He clearly wasn't amused.
"What monstrosity could of fooled us with this?" He cried.
All of a sudden, a bomb ship appeared next to them.
"Hello!" It said.
"Oh, you. Let me guess, you're Bob?" The king of red lions asked.
"No, it's me Derp. Remember me? I'm one of Francis's friends" The ship explained.
"Yes, we remember you, but why did you give us this note and twenty rupees? I thought you hated us?" Link said confused.
"The note was to congratulate you for making it this far. The earth temple is known for it's bleak darkness, dark enemies and it's redead army that they secretly store away for unknown reasons" Derp explained.
"Did you just say redeads?"
"Yes, Link, he did"
Link was almost frozen. The two ships stared at the boy.
"Is he okay? He looks a little frozen" Derp asked.
"He's afraid of redeads" The king of red lions said.
"Oh, that was probably a bad thing to mention than. Sorry"
"No, it's fine. I'll handle him. You should get going now before this gets violent"
"Whatever you say"
The bomb ship sailed away.
(twenty minutes later, inside Headstone island)
Link entered the island, beaten up, to see the spirit of Laruto standing right in front of the headstone.
"What on earth happened to you? I thought you were just outside?" Laruto asked.
"I was just outside," Link explained, "We ran into a stupid bomb ship who told that redeads were in there and that ended with the king of red lions and I getting into a really violent fist fight"
"But he's a boat. How the heck can he fight back?"
"That's a long stupid story"
"That's quite unusual. Anyway, you must learn the song to access to earth temple by bringing the new sage of earth to me. She can be seen using the same instrument as me"
"Let me guess, Medli is the new sage of earth?"
"How the hell did you know that? I thought no one knew that!"
"She is the only person in this game who has a harp. It was pretty obvious"
"Well than! I bet you don't know where to find her"
"She's on Dragon Roost Island, standing on the cliff overlooking the ocean. She also happens to be playing her harp"
"Okay, I give up, you know more than I do"
"Yay"
Link turned to walk out of the island, but turned around.
"Hey, I have a question" He said.
"Yes, Link?" Laruto responded.
"Why is Medli the sage of earth? Wouldn't it make more sense if Makar was?"
"Yes, Link, It would make more sense. This game doesn't make any sense in that case. Makar is even the sage of winds and that makes even less sense"
"That is weird and I have one more thing to say"
"And what is that, Link?"
"SPOILER ALERT! You're supposed to say that before saying a spoiler!"
"Oops"
"Gosh, you're an idiot"
(fifteen minutes later, at Dragon Roost)
Link, panting, finally climbed the last stair to reach the cliff overlooking the sea. He groaned and approached the girl.
"Oh, Hello Link," She said, "May I help you with something?"
"How dare you make me climb all those stairs!" Link screamed at her.
"Excuse me?"
"I had to walk up all those stairs to get here! I am so tired of stairs. Everyone body thinks that I can handle it, because I'm the hero. But I can't! I HATE STAIRS AND I HATE THE RITO RACE FOR PUTTING THOSE THERE!"
He took several deep breaths. Medli only stared at him,
"I'm sorry that you had to go through that ordeal, Link, but those were just put in by our architect. He insisted on putting those stairs there, no one else wanted them. There's something seriously wrong with him" Medli explained.
"Why didn't you stop him?!" Link asked.
"He's crazy. No one on this island is dumb enough to attempt to talk him out of anything"
"He is on drugs or something?"
"No one knows"
"Wow. How did you get up here before this?"
"Oh, we took that path over there," She pointed to the right, "All you really had to do was go through the main area and take the door outside. You could of just used the graphling hook and made it over here much faster"
"But you don't have a graphling hook. How did you get up here?"
"Oh, I took the elevator," She pointed over to the elevator, "No one ever notices it"
"I hate you," Link said, "Anyway, I need you to come with me. We need to go learn the earth god's lyric and enter the Earth Temple"
"What if I don't want to?"
"You have no choice in the matter. I am the hero and I demand that you come with me"
"But I don't want to"
"Listen, Medli. I will get you to come. Even if I have to pick you up and carry you to the temple myself!"
"You wouldn't dare do that. You're a gentlemen and that you would never do that"
(Two and half seconds later)
Medli was falling off the cliff screaming, while Link was holding her.
"I can't believe you just voluntarily jumped off that cliff!" Medli screamed,
"I had to get you to come somehow! This was the only way I could think of!" Link screamed back.
"You could of just said please"
"Please is for pussies!"
The king of red lions was sitting, staring into the beautiful ocean view.
"This is the most wonderful thing I have seen all day. Nothing could ruin this for me. I've got silence, no annoying twits, a beautiful ocean and some shade. Nothing, absolutely nothing could ruin this" The king of red lions said.
All of a sudden, Link and Medli fell from the sky and landed perfectly on him. He sighed.
"You actually got Medli?" He asked his partner.
"Yeah, it wasn't easy, but I got her!" Link responded.
"Yeah, I can see that. You literally just fell from the sky!"
"He jumped off a cliff with me!" Medli screamed.
"Yeah, that's nice Medli" Link and his partner said.
(Later at the earth temple)
Link walked in, literally, dragging Medli in with him.
"Let me go! I can't do this! I'm just a girl! I don't deserve this!" Medli screamed.
"Listen, Medli. As much as I would love to ditch you, I can't. If you leave, I get trapped in here for eternity and then I won't have any chance of escape" Link explained.
"If that's what happens, then I want to leave. The Great Sea could use a better hero anyway"
"I don't want to be left in here! I'm only twelve years old! I have a life to live and I don't want to end it being trapped in here for eternity!"
"Why not? It seems nice in here"
"Look around. This place is infested with monsters! This room is literally guarded by a bunch of moblins!"
"Moblins aren't that bad. They seem like nice people"
"They aren't nice people, Medli. They are jerks who whack people with their unusually large sticks. They aren't friendly at all!"
Medli didn't say anything. Link took this as a warning to look around. He looked to see that the moblins had all formed a circle around the pair.
"This is the probably the worst possible thing that could of happened to us" Link said.
"What do you mean? This could be worse, We could be surrounded by a circle of redeads" Medli said.
"That's true, but how do we get around these guys without being killed?"
"That's an easy one. We just take one of their weapons," Medli proceeded to kick one the moblins in the head and take his weapon, "and do a spin attack. That'll take care of all them"
"Couldn't I have just done that with the master sword? It is the master sword after all"
"Yes, but it's not at full power and this weapon is much better than that peace of metal you have there"
"This is a legendary sword though"
"Shut up and let the master handle this" She proceeded to do a spin attack and send the group of moblins flying all over the room.
"That didn't even kill them!"
"So? It gives us a chance to run"
"That makes us look like wimps!"
"No, it doesn't. We just run from fights every once in a while. It's not a big deal"
"Right? Than explain why the moblins are getting up and running at us"
"I don't know how to explain, but I have an idea"
"What?"
"RUN!"
Medli proceeded to run out of the room screaming like a banshee. Link looked around before following her.
(In the mirror room of the temple)
"Medli, that was the worst experience of my life!" Link screamed.
"What do you mean? We avoided every enemy in the dungeon and get all the important dungeon items on the way though" Medli responded.
"That's exactly it! Unlike the last dungeons I did, we literally ran through the majority of this one! Do you know what Legend of Zelda fans everywhere are going to think about me?"
"Actually no, I don't"
"They'll think I'm a wuss! I don't want to be known as the hero who got through the Earth Temple by running away!"
"Don't think about it like that, Link. Think about like it's a pacifist run"
"No one likes pacifist runs!"
"I bet someone does!"
"Well, I don't know anyone who does! We didn't even get the main item and the boss key the way we were supposed to!"
"We still got them!"
"You stile forty from my wallet and slipped the miniboss the money so we wouldn't have to fight him for the key. And then you stole forty more rupees and told him to go get us the main item of the dungeon!"
"He got it for us, didn't he?"
"Yes, but I don't' want to be known as the lazy hero who has others pay enemies to help him!"
"I thought you didn't want to be known as the hero who ran threw the earth temple in a pacifist run?"
"I don't want to be known as that either! Those are both bad titles!"
"Relax, Link. We're done with that. Now, let's worry about the matter at hand"
"Like what?"
"Like how in hell are we going to solve this mirror puzzle"
Link and Medli stared at one another. A light bulb suddenly appeared over Link's head. Medli stared at us.
"Where the hell did that light bulb come from?" She asked him.
"Oh, that's Phil. He's my imaginary light bulb buddy. He just gave me an idea!" Link explained.
"Why don't you just use him to light the giant sun in the middle of the room. It does have a light bulb socket"
"No, that's a stupid idea. My idea is so much better than that"
"Well, actually. Your friend has a good point there. Why don't you just put me into the light bulb socket and save so much more time" Phil, the light bulb, explained.
"Shut up, Phil. Your idea sucks"
"But it was her idea"
"Shut up, Phil. I've got this!"
(Fifteen minutes of failure later)
"I don't know what to do!" Link screamed, grabbing Medli's shoulders.
"What did you do? Break all the mirrors?" Medli asked him.
"No, why would I break all the mirrors? That would be stupid"
"That's what you did, isn't it?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I did"
"How in hell did you break all of them?"
"I was trying to see if I could shoot the sun, to see if it would light up. So, I shot the mirrors and it cracked all the mirrors and made them unusable"
Medli glared at the hero, before brutally slapping him across his face.
"Link, you're the biggest idiot I have ever met in the history of idiots" Medli screamed in his face.
"That is the meanest thing you have ever said to me, Medli. Not only have you upset me, but we also have no way of solving this puzzle!" Link screamed.
"What about Phil?"
"What about him?" Link, all of a sudden, calmed down.
"Why didn't you just put Phil into the light bulb socket in the first place? You wouldn't have even needed to do anything with the mirrors!"
"Oh, why didn't you tell me that?"
"I did. A lot!"
Link only glared at her before pulling Phil out of his pocket and screwing him into the socket. The room lit up and the bars in front of the door opened. The pair of heroes looked at each other and nodded. They entered the door and made their way to the boss.
(In the boss chamber)
Link and Medli entered the boss chamber and looked around.
"This boss chamber looks quite cryptic," Medli said, "What do you think the boss will be?"
"I don't know, but I sure it's not that army of redeads that Derp mentioned" Link said.
"Who the hell is Derp?"
"He's one of the bomb ships the king of red lions and I met. He told us about this army of redeads that is stored somewhere in this temple"
"You talk to bomb ships?"
"Yes, we're strange people. Don't question it"
"I wasn't planning on it"
All of a sudden, the pair noticed a floating lantern in the center of the room. They looked at each other.
"Come on, Medli, let's go take a closer look at this lantern" Link said.
"I don't think so, Link. I can handle moblins, but I cannot handle whatever that is" Medli said.
"We don't know what it is yet," Link said, "Stop being a wuss and help me out!"
Link glared at the girl for several minutes before grabbing her and throwing her over his shoulder. Medli screamed as he walked over the lantern. Link gulped and looked up.
"Hey, you! Lantern thing! I am the hero of winds and I am here to kick your butt!" Link screamed.
"That is the stupidest sentence I have ever heard," Medli said, "Are you, like, afraid to swear or something?"
"Chaos wants us to avoid swearing. Excuse me for listening to her!"
"Are you two going to argue or fight me?" Someone interrupted them.
The pair slowly looked up. Link's jaw nearly dropped at the sight of the boss. Medli simply stared in shock at it.
"Holy crap! That is the biggest ghost I have ever seen!" Medli screamed.
Link shot the girl a glare. The ghost looked very offended.
"Did you just call me fat?" The ghost asked.
Medli panicked and looked over at Link. Link only glared at her.
"No, I was saying that you're the biggest ghost I have ever seen. You're not fat" Medli explained.
"Medli, I don't think this is working" Link whispered to her.
"It's clearly not working! Look at him, he's about to put on fire!"
The pair realized what Medli had just said and looked over at the ghost.
"He's about to put us on fire! RUN!" The pair began running all over the area.
The ghost began to release his henchmen to go after the pair. Link and Medli continued to scream and run around the area. Link, panicking, grabbed his shield and began whacking at the small ghost. The ghost, unaffected only laughed.
"What's so funny? I thought the shield would make a good attack method!" Link screamed.
"It's not, Link. It's not the worst possible attack method you could use right now!" Medli screamed, running past him.
Link groaned.
"I am sick of getting laughed at! I am the hero of winds and demand respect!" He screamed.
The ghost, including the boss, only stared at him before starting to laugh once again. Even Medli had started to laugh. Link glared at everyone in the room before pulling his bow and arrow out. Medli, still laughing, hadn't noticed that Link was shooting all the small ghost in the head with arrows, killing them instantly. As soon as she noticed they were all gone, she stopped laughing and looked up to see an extra mad boss.
"Oh, hello boss," She said, "How are you doing?"
The boss glared at her.
"I see, not so well," She continued, "Please don't kill me"
The boss didn't listen and proceeded to whack her with the lantern.
"HELP ME,LINK! HE"S CRUSHING ME WITH HIS LANTERN!" She screamed.
Link, clearly distracted by something didn't notice that Medli was getting crushed by the ghost. The boss appeared to be quite amused with this game, until he got a random beam of light shot into his eyes.
"OH MY GOODNESS! MY EYES! I AM GOING BLIND!" He screamed, running around.
Medli only stared as the ghost ran around the room ,running into all the spiked pillars in the corners of the room.
"So, how's the boss battle going?" Link asked.
He noticed that the boss was rolling all over the room, much like a balloon running out of air.
"What on earth is he doing?" He asked.
"Someone shot a ray of light into his eyes and now he's running uncontrollably into the walls and proceeding to kill himself" Medli explained.
"Oh, so that light over there is important," Link said, pointing to one of the lights around the room, "I just thought it was pretty and wanted to touch it!"
Medli groaned and slapped Link across the face.
"What was that for?" Link snapped at her.
"For being an idiot, but for also accidentally saving us" Medli responded.
Just as Link was about to respond, the boss suddenly exploded and left literally everything in the room covered in the ghost's ashes. The pair looked at one another. Link looked beyond annoyed, but Medli seemed to find it hilarious and burst out laughing. Link, visibly annoyed, groaned and proceeded to pull his sword sheath off. As soon as Medli saw this, she stopped laughing.
"Link, what are you doing with that? Are you mad at me?" She asked him.
"You laughed at me too many times already and I can't let you get away with this!" He said in an evil voice.
Medli screamed and went to run away, but she was too late and was hit over the head with Link's sheath. Link, still angry, left the arena and ignored Medli's uncurious body.
(Outside the temple/island)
Link approached his partner and sat down with a huff.
"Let me guess, Link. Medli annoyed you and you left her uncurious body inside the boss chamber, didn't you?" The king of red lions asked.
"Yes, I did. She laughed at me too many times" Link said.
"Grow up, Link. Everyone laughs at you"
"But it hurt my feelings!" Link said, sounding evil once again.
The king of red lions sighed.
"Do you want to go take your anger out on Orca? I'm pretty sure he's ready to fight you again by now" The king of red lions said.
"Take me to him"
"Fine, but don't blame me if he sues you for breaking your previous record of 10,001 hits"
(The end)
Is it just me? Or am I putting less effort into these chapters now? XD
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that. If you liked it, feel free to leave a review. If you didn't, just get lost. I don't need to hear your opinion. Once again, constructive criticism is allowed (and encouraged). I'm a little bummed that last chapter currently only has one review, but oh well! Everyone has those days, things happen. I'm just going to stay positive and continue to work on this wonderful story no matter what happens. That was little random, wasn't it? XD
Anyway, See ya!