Chapter 11

AN: Heading into M territory with this chapter, folks. These two have earned it, no? Also, sorry for the delay—hopefully, no more of those. *she says with crossed fingers*

I have a surprise for you.

Oh my God, Carlton, is that a hotel room key?

Yeah.

But I told you I already arranged to borrow Trish and Kelly's apartment while they're gone for break.

I know, but it just didn't seem… right. It seemed sort of cheap and, I don't know, not worthy of you.

But how can we afford—

Not we—me. I've worked a lot of overtime the last couple of weeks. Thought it would help with missing you. To say I was wrong about that would be understating it, but at least we get something out of it.

Oh, baby—

Don't you get it, Karen? I love you so damned much—I'd do anything for you.

I love you too, Carlton. More than anything.

"The Del." Karen sighed as she slowly walked through the room to the white-railed balcony overlooking the Pacific. To her left, the white clapboard siding and distinctive red conical roof of the historic Hotel Del Coronado overlooked the evening beach like the elegant old Victorian girl she was.

"I've always wanted to stay here." She leaned against the railing, breathing deep of the salty air as the rhythmic pounding of the surf soothed her nerves. God knows, there was a lot of soothing to be done.

"I remember." Warmth surrounded her as Carlton came up behind her, his hands gently stroking her bare arms and raising goosebumps that didn't have a damned thing to do with the cool evening air. "I tried so hard to forget, but damn if I don't remember everything."

Even with his body surrounding hers, the desire rolling off him in waves, uncertainty gripped Karen. Turning, she looked up into his face, the play of shadows and her memories sweeping the years away and rendering him the passionate nineteen year-old she'd fallen so utterly in love with.

"Carlton, are you sure?"

The familiar frown drew his brows together and revealed the man—certain, but not above being possessed by the same hint of fear she battled. "Are you?"

"God, yes." Restless, yet unwilling to move away from the security of his warmth, she turned to face the ocean again, her gaze following the caps on the waves, glowing white in the light from the moon until breaking into lacy iridescent patterns against the sand. Her fingers curled around the balcony rail she carefully said, "It's just… a week ago you were in love with another woman—a woman you had every intention of marrying. And now…" Her voice trailed off helplessly, washing away with the surf.

"Actually, a week ago, I was driving away from you—again—and wondering how in hell I could have ever been so stupid as to let myself leave you in the first place." His low voice was laced with obvious pain and regret. "Everything since that moment twenty-five years ago has been nothing more than desperate attempts to recapture what we had and failing utterly. My punishment, I guess."

Karen turned once more, so fast, her head swam. "Carlton please—you have got to stop shouldering the total blame for that." Needing to touch him, she gripped his forearms, the light wool of his blazer warm and rough beneath her palms—a ballast for the turmoil churning within her. "Dad read you like a wide-open book. He knew you were the kind of man with the strength of character to do what was right."

A disbelieving snort escaped. "He sure read that wrong, didn't he?"

"Oh, no baby—don't you see? He absolutely didn't." Her chest burned with the intensity of shared pain and lost years. "He wasn't counting on your love not being strong enough—he was counting on the absolute strength of it."

"If I was so strong, would I have left you the way I did?"

"If you were convinced you were doing what was best for me? Yes." Her response was instant and rang with conviction.

In the dim light spilling from the room, his eyes stood out brilliant and intense. "How the hell can you believe in me so strongly? After everything—"

"I love you." Her hands slid down his arms to capture his hands, lacing their fingers together in a loose, yet secure hold. "I don't think I ever stopped loving you. Not completely." Her fingers tightened on his. "And I can't believe, loving you as much as I did, that I let you down so badly."

"What? No." His voice reflected utter and honest shock. "God, no, Karen. You never did."

"I did." Her voice thickened. "I should have guessed Dad got to you. I should have run right after you and forced you to tell me what could possibly make you walk away without warning but I was so damned hurt and stupid and prideful—"

"And your dad read you like an open book." His gaze bored into hers, making her feel as if he had a bird's eye view straight into her soul. "He counted on that pride and that damned stubborn streak keeping you from coming after me." For the first time, a ghost of a smile crossed his face, but it was laced with a sadness she felt all the way into her own heart. "Face it, sweetheart, we both got played. By a virtuoso."

Despite her best efforts, a single tear spilled over, leaving a bitter hot trail against her skin. "How could he do that to us?"

"He thought he was protecting you." Carlton sighed. "From me."

"No." She shook her head, not certain he'd believe her, but absolutely certain she had to try to convince him. "Not from you. From me." Another tear escaped, following in the wake of the first. "I have no doubt he loves me, but he never trusted me. Not to know what I really wanted."

A charged silence fell between them then, ever so slowly, Carlton lifted a hand to her face, his skin warm against hers as he gently wiped away her tears. The sheer tenderness in the simple gesture prompted another tear to spill forth, hot and scalding against her skin. Her eyes closed as Carlton lowered his head, his lips trapping the tear against the corner of her mouth.

"What do you want, Karen?" As he spoke, his tongue brushed her skin, then again, more deliberately, before commencing a trail of light, sweet kisses along her jaw his hand sliding into her hair.

"Tell me what you want."

There was really only one answer.

"You," she sighed, her head dropping back into his hold, leaving her neck exposed to his wandering mouth. "I want you, Carlton." She fisted her hands in his hair, hissing as his teeth trailed white hot desire along her neck to her shoulder. As he latched on and sucked hard, she moaned and tugged on his hair. "I need you. Now."

As he shifted his oral assault to her collarbone, his free hand moved to her skirt, rucking it up out of the way. Her gasp was lost against the sound of fabric tearing, the silky material of her underwear easily giving way to his impatient tugging. An instant later she gasped again as his fingers sought out her heat.

His groan vibrated against her skin. "God, Karen, you feel perfect."

Knees watery, she flailed momentarily until her hands found purchase on his shoulders. She was already so close… so damned close…

"Carlton," she whimpered, lost in the dizzying sensation of having his hands on her—in her—after far too long. As his thumb moved and stroked with devastating accuracy, she fell, her climax hitting hard and fast, leaving her convulsing, muscles clutching, desperate to hold him close, wanting even more.

One hand returning to his hair, she pulled again, bringing his face—alive with the same wonder she felt consuming her—even with hers.

"I need you," she repeated, as clearly and distinctly as she could manage around the shudders still wracking her body. "Now."

Impatient beyond all reason, she pushed at his jacket, groaning as his hands briefly left her body to shrug the thing off. An instant later she sighed as he found his way home again, his mouth seeking hers with an almost crazed urgency she returned, molded perfectly together, tongues and teeth seeking and plundering. Despite echoes of that first powerful climax still vibrating deep within, she was crazy for more, for all of him—this man she'd been denied for far too long.

Fumbling with belt and zipper, she reached inside his slacks and boxers to take him in hand, a fresh wave of desire overwhelming her at the feel of him, all smooth, hot arousal, leaving her breasts heavy and aching inside the bodice of her dress.

His teeth latched onto her lower lip, a moan escaping as his hips surged forward into her sensual grasp.

As she stroked, fast and deliberate, she pleaded, "Carlton, now, please, God, now."

"Bed," he croaked, but it was too late. Fueled by the urgency in her voice and her body moving against his, he dropped into one of the chaise lounges, pulling her to straddle him. An instant later, she had him in her hand again, scooting back to place a tantalizing kiss against that silky hot flesh. Moving back into position, she leaned forward with a whispered, "Later," as she sank down, her body welcoming him like a piece of her missing for far too long.

"Ditto," he groaned, as his arms came around her and pulled her down to lie completely over him. One hand rose to cup the back of her head, his voice a low, sensual rumble against her ear, "Twenty-five years to make up for."

"Looking forward to it." Her fingers busily worked at the buttons of his shirt, spreading the fine cotton wide. With a deep sigh of satisfaction, she trailed her fingertips through the thick, coarse hair down to the smooth skin over his ribs. Lowering her head, she used lips and teeth on one nipple then the other, her body tightening at the groan she felt vibrating deep in his chest. Her hips began rocking, slow at first, quickly increasing in pace, her body needing more, more, more—driven by his groans and whispered encouragement. At one point his hands dropped to her hips, holding her steady as he took over, driving up into her with short, sharp thrusts that left her gasping and biting down on the smooth skin of his shoulder to try to muffle cries that were on the verge of becoming shrieks.

Small orgasms shuddered through her as he continued his assault, his hands shifting to cup her ass and urge her to move on him, harder, faster…

And then he stopped.

Hands firm on her hips, holding her so still, she could feel every small tremor and twitch of him deep within her.

Gasping, heart thudding against her chest, sweat trickling from the base of her neck to tease her cleavage, she stared at him. "Carlton—" And couldn't even be bothered by how absolutely desperate she sounded. She was just so damned close and he'd stopped, damn him.

Blue eyes huge and dark with desire, he stared up at her. Slowly, one hand rose to cup her cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of her mouth before dropping to her breast, shaping and molding it within his palm before stilling once more, as if feeling how her heart beat—for him. For them.

"I love you, Karen."

He shifted beneath her, a slow, gentle thrust.

"I love you," he repeated, his voice low and familiar—overlaid with a poignant note of something new.

Another thrust, a little deeper, a little more intense, that left stars swimming before her vision.

"I loved you twenty-five years ago."

Another thrust, up into her willing body as she gasped and clutched at his biceps, feeling in his muscles the same tension holding her hostage on the precipice.

"I love you now."

The thrusts took on a slow, deliberate rhythm that invited her to move, point and counterpoint, their bodies meeting with a deep, sweet ache as she braced her hands on his chest, the hair rough and damp against her palms. Yet another layer to the sensual onslaught that making love with this man had always been.

"I never completely stopped loving you."

His hands rose to span her bare back, those long, dexterous fingers curling over her shoulders as he pushed her down on him, maintaining control even as he drove her completely and utterly mad.

"I will never stop loving you, Karen."

Control lost out as she fought free of his hold and began moving on him, fast and hard, head thrown back, his voice penetrating the sensual fog—sweet, erotic words encouraging her to let go, he'd catch her, he'd always be there for her, he'd never ever leave her again. And as he thrust up into her one final time, shattering the last of her defenses, Karen heard him whisper the sweetest word—

Forever.