Hiya everyone! Im back aha ;) I have actually updated. Yeah I know I'm surprised as well aha! I would like to say a mahosivee thank you to everyone who read this especially people who reviewed. (Lots of shoutouts coming!) Connie, Callie, Emma, Sam2012Nicholls, .11, Hana, Abbey, Chloe, Lovelyja, Danielle, Becky, Katy, Sam and Jess who inboxed me her review aha. This update is for you guys! Mucho love!x
Hope ya enjoy: Chapter 2: Memories.
Afghanistan: February 28th u 2010: Sam laid in the single bed provided at base, at two in the morning she was still awake trying to remove the nightmares she and her team had encountered today whilst on a casualty pick up. She tossed over constantly trying to find a position that suited the several scrapes and bruises she had acquired earlier in the day., but to no avail she was yet to find one. After laying still for what she considered far to long for someone who wasn't asleep she opened her eyes to see the beige room flooded with light from the large lamp that sat directly next to her bed. She put her arms out in front of her and sighed as she looked at her discolored skin covered with deep purple bruises and deep red cuts, she put her finger out and began to trace around the various bumps in her skin when a loud crackling brought her away from her daydream.
"Hello?" A voice said on the end of Sam's radio. "Major Nicholls, Urm are you there?" The voice repeated, she could sense the fear in the young female voice "Its Private Daniel's, Clara Daniel's." A small whimper was let out from the other end of the transmission as the young soldier gathered her emotions together. "I think I need help… " She continued quietly . Sam couldn't stand hearing the young soldiers fear any longer, she pulled the black radio towards her and began to speak.
"Its fine, I'm coming. Over and out" She said before hanging up her radio and placing it on her combat belt, which also contained her basic medical kit, a more advanced version of a home fist aid kit. Her torch and her nine-millimeter riffle as provided to all medical combat personal. She grabbed her dark camoflaged jacket that hung on the small wardrobe in the corner of her room. Then she grabbed her belt and her ID from the table beside her before heading out to the darkened corridor of Bastion.
Sam headed towards the room she had seen many times before but had never needed to see it as such an emergency. She didn't know what had happened or why she was needed, after all her and the newly recruited soldier weren't particularly close but they hadn't had much time to be fair. The young woman had only just been on tour for little under a month, but today despite the other horrific days, today had been among the worse Sam had encountered, how the younger woman must be feeling was unknown to her.
She knocked quietly on the door attempting not to attract any attention by knocking at a random door at three in the morning. After waiting for thirty seconds she decided to knock again a bit more forcefully this time,
"Hello?" A small voice replied on the other side of the door.
"Private Daniel's, Its Major Nicholls." Sam replied quickly, making sure to keep her title. It was the only thing Sam felt could keep her professional whatever the situation. "Can you let me in please?" She continued before pulling her combat jacket closer to her as she felt the bitter winds of Afghanistan hit her.
She heard the quiet click as the lock was turned so entry was granted to get into the darkened room. She reached for the light switch rubbing her fingers together as she felt something wet and cold cover the tips of her fingers. AS she switched the lights on she saw what the foreign liquid was. Blood!
"Private Daniel's?" Sam began softly moving towards the curled up ball in the corner of the room. "Clara?" She said as calm as she could muster in the current situation. "Its alright, its Major Nicholls, its Sam" She said watching as the small figure shook with tears, trying her hardest to keep calm, and to comfort the young woman without scaring her even more than she obviously was. She moved so she was kneeling directly in front of the young woman patting her on the shoulder as she did so.
Clara lifted her head up slowly adverting her eyes so she staring unblinking at the other side of the room. "What happened Clara?" Sam asked her softly, silently sweeping the young woman's body to see where the blood may be stemming from.
"I cant… That boy." The young private began quietly. "I shot him." She carried on, her voice still barley more than a whisper
Sam looked at the young woman, attempting to mask the pity she was feeling towards the young woman. "It wasn't your fault" She said quietly. "You didn't know who it was."
At this Clara stood up quickly, that was when Sam located the injury the young woman had acquired. Or made herself have which was looking more and more likely by the second. "I shot a ten year old boy!" She shouted. "No-one else, me I did!" She screamed hysterically. "He was still a child and now he's dead as I messed up!" She screamed before leaning against the wall and repededtly punching it. ""He's dead, I killed him." She mumbled. "Im a killer!" She cried as she slid down the wall leaving a deep red trail of blood on the wall as she did so.
"Let me see Sam" Said quietly holding her hands out ignoring the scared look in the young woman's eyes. She gently pulled her hands out so she could evaluate the self-inflicted injuries. Sam bit her lip and she saw the multiple slashes crossing the pale woman's body, she sighed before reaching for the medical kit from her belt and looked into the scared woman's eyes. "What did you use?" She asked quietly as she dabbed gently at one of the less sever cuts.
Clara nodded towards the other side of the room to a small knife blade that was coated in thick red blood. "Im sorry…" She said, looking for the first time since Sam had entered the room into her eyes. All Sam could see in the young blue eyes was fear, fear could do funny things to the mind and this was one of the worse case scenarios.
"Its alright…" Sam said awkwardly, focusing on bandaging the cuts based on the upper part of her arms. "It's a coping mechanism, they'll understand." She finished quietly.
"Wait, wait. Who will?"" Clara said quickly, pulling her arm away from Sam's grip and looking up fear becoming more and more evident in her eyes.
"Captain Morrison will have to be informed and probably Bryant…" Sam replied quietly, knowing what was coming next.
"No, no, no, no, no!" Cara said quickly her yes widening,. "They cant know, seriously, I'll be thrown out quicker than they can say 'Post traumatic stress disorder! Please, don't tell them, I wont do it again, I swear I wont do it again. Ive never done it before, don't end my career over just one mistake." She cried all of her words coming out in a jumbled mess.
Sam looked at the woman in front of her, barely old enough to be here, she could stop her seeing all the terror's she had seen, but it was obvious that wasn't what was wanted. "Cara, really. I have to say something!"
"Please. Sam please I'm begging you." She pleaded her deep blue eyes staring intently at the older medic.
"Fine, I'll cover up, this time and this time only." Sam mumbled after all it was only one time she'd messed up, everyone made mistakes. What could go wrong?
Holby; 9th December 2012
"Sam, Sam." A voice washed over her as her eyes began to flutter open. "Wakey, wakey sleepy head." The voice came again, she now identified the voice as Tom who was standing over her, worried expression covering his face. Behind him she noticed one of the new junior nurses, but just couldn't recollect her name. "You alright?" Tom asked quietly.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Sam said before sitting upright and smiling halfheartedly. "How long was I asleep?" She asked looking both at Tom and the quiet figure in the corner.
"Well Robyn came and told me you was asleep about twenty minutes ago, been trying to wake you up since then." Tom mumbled looking towards the ginger figure that was beginning to leave. "Thanks Robyn." Tom shouted as she walked out the door.
"Its fine." She shouted back. "You two are perfect together." She laughed as she disappeared from view. Tom turned back to face Sam as he knelt down to her level. "You ok? You looked like you was having a nightmare." He said sympathetically.
"No, no its fine." Sam replied quickly before jumping off the sofa. "Im so late!" She shouted. "Zoe's going to kill me." She said quickly putting her hair in a ponytail with the hair tie she always kept on her wrist.
"Sam, I don't think you should be working." Tom said quietly coming in front of the mirror Sam was using while tying up her hair.
"What? Why?" Sam said quickly as she looked Tom directly in the eye and dropping her arm to her sides.
"Your exhausted Sam… You look like you haven't slept in a week!"
"What the hell would make you think that?" Sam asked her voice beginning to raise in volume as she was getting more and more wound up as the conversation progressed.
"No offence Sam but have you looked in the mirror recently? I mean I love you, but you look shattered." Tom replied teeth clenched. "And besides you just fell asleep on like one of the most uncomfortable sofa's ever!" Tom continued as he looked at the old lumpy sofa.
"Tom, I'll be fine, really." Sam said as she began to leave the room. "Don't worry about me." She said as she opened the door and walked out the room.
"Sam." Tom shouted out the door unsure to whether or not his stubborn partner could hear him and was just ignoring him or genuinely couldn't hear him. Knowing Sam it was more than likely the first of the two.
By the time he left the staffroom he had already seen that Sam was I deep conversation with Zoe and decided to leave them to it so walked in the opposite direction towards a patient who had just arrived.
"Sam, you are over half an hour late!" Zoe complained before her expression softened slightly as she took in the young medics tired features.
"Yeah, I know, I know I'm sorry it wont happen again." Sam mumbled looking at the floor. "I Urm overslept, alarm didn't go off." She lied not wanting to admit she had barley slept a wink at home and had resulted in falling asleep in the staffroom.
"Really as to be honest you don't look like you've slept at all…" Zoe replied softly, "Do you want to go home?"
"Not particularly Zoe, seriously I'll be fine!" Sam said dismissively before walking away leaving Zoe watching after her.
Sam strolled quickly to the isle that was stationed in the middle of the cubical area of the department. Around it several of the nurses where discussing a particularly sensitive patient.
"You need someone sensitive." Fletch began looking at Charlie, Tess and the student nurses they where mentoring. "This is a very difficult topic to discus with the patient." He continued.
"What's a very difficult topic?" She asked coming up behind them and looking curiously at the small team gathered around the isle.
"Cubical three." Charlie began. "Fifteen year old girl, cut herself at home and it re-opened at school, by the look of her school shirt we can guess it will need stitches but she wont let anyone examine her." He finished looking sadly towards the cubical.
"Want me to have a go?" Sam asked looking at the cubical. She was convinced she could get the young girl to open up and hopefully let her examine the injury she had sustained.
"Sure, but she's very sensitive. You need to be cautious around this." Charlie replied. "Will you be alright with it?" He asked a questioning look on his face.
"Yeah I'll be fine." Sam replied showing a quick smile and heading towards the cubical, file in hand. She took a quick peek at the name that was written on the front of the folder.
She pulled the curtain open to have it reveal a young girl who looked a lot less than her fifteen years as she laid on the bed, her white shirt now turned into a deep crimson red as the blood flowed freely from the wound. "Maddie, I'm doctor Sam Nicholls and I'll be treating you today." Sam said before shutting the curtain, she turned and saw a woman sitting in the chair beside the girls bed. "And you are?" Sam asked looking at the woman, she must be in her mid-thirties early forties Sam thought as she took in her clothing choice and her graying hair.
"Natalie Johnson, school nurse." The woman replied quickly as she thrust her hand out for Sam to shake.
Sam shook the woman's hand before beginning to speak. "Would you mind stepping outside the cubical for a few moments please? Whilst I talk to Maddie." Sam asked seeing the girls face relax as she saw her teacher leave the cubical.
"So, what happened here then?" Sam asked as sensitive as she could muster.
""I slipped… Onto glass and it re-opened at school." The young girl mumbled quietly.
"You sure?" Sam asked looking with concern at the Maddie who nodded quickly. "Do you mind me taking a look then?" Sam asked softly.
"You wont tell anyone, will you?" She asked as she slowly rolled up her top to reveal a large amount of deep red lacerations, most of which required stitches. She obviously knew Sam knew it wasn't aqquiered by a fall.
Sam took a deep breath. "Im really sorry, but I have to tell someone. I have to protect you and this is how…" Sam required quietly.
"No! No you don't, you don't have to tell anyone!" She said her voice beginning to get louder.
"Yes I do, nothing bad will happen, we just want to help you." Sam said plastering on a smile she was sure the brunette patient could tell was fake.
"How the hell do you know!" She shouted. "I dont want this! Go away!" She shouted at Sam. "Leave me alone, now, get away from me!" She screamed her voice becoming hysterical. At this point Tess had appeared at the door and was beginning to attempt to soothe the frightened patient. Sam couldn't stand it no longer, she ran full pelt as fast as she could out of the cubical, out of the ED.