Selfishness and Selflesness walk together

by Super Saiyajin Priscila

The Social Network, Mark/Eduardo pairing. What was between them, what is and what comes to be.

3. Chapter 3

Note: That's it, hope you enjoyed it!

Chapter III - Mark & Eduardo

When Eduardo lands back in Singapore two days after his incident with Mark, he's feeling worse than crap. He's so full of angst it's even hard to breath properly. His chest feels too tight, and every bit of air he sucks in just makes it ache more.

This level of anxiety isn't news for Eduardo. He's used to dealing with it since he was a kid. Whenever emotion is involved, he's easily overwhelmed, and that's why he'd started therapy in first place. He's been to a couple of therapists that sucked, until he met the one that accompanied him through high school and college.

He's still deciding if his current one is good; he's been with her for six months, because he started looking for treatment as soon as he settled in the new country. Eduardo knows from experience that in order to decide if a therapist is worth it, you have to give him (or her) time.

His mother once asked Eduardo if he talked about the dilutions and the lawsuit with the therapist.

Of course he did.

But she would be surprised if she found out how little Mark's betrayal meant in comparison to the emotional turmoil that Mark's mere presence in Eduardo's life already caused.

Now, at college, Eduardo had already gone through hell when he mentioned therapy. Even his closest friends teased him, though Eduardo knew they didn't mean any harm. It was just that, at college, most people just don't have the maturity required to seek treatment, or the patience to keep on it.

Dustin, for instance, teased Eduardo enough, without even knowing that at least fifty percent of his therapy time was dedicated to talking about Mark.

So, Mark was an issue long before he decided that going behind Eduardo's back wasn't such a bad idea.

The problem with Mark was that he made Eduardo feel left behind long before he actually voiced the words. Mark had this way of leaving people with the feeling that they have to catch up with him, which Erica had perfectly described. It had something to do with his brilliant mind, yes, but it had also something to do with Mark's selfishness, with his refusal to go out of his way. Eduardo remembers a good part of his college life being spent waiting for Mark. Waiting because Mark was either late or just forgot their meeting, waiting for him to finish coding, waiting for him to snap out of his little world and explain what's on his mind or else no one would ever get it.

Eduardo often got complimented for being the only one able to put up with Mark. The compliment often came in the shape of you make a beautiful couple. Even Dustin, the traitor, with Chris laughs backing him up, used to do it, and that was before he found out Eduardo actually liked Mark (Dustin had abruptly stopped the teasing then, and weeks later, Mark had turned to him with a smirk, so, is my marriage with Wardo over or what?, making Dustin almost choke on his beer and say, well, Wardo has Christy now, sorry, Marky, you'll have to find yourself a new handsome male, earning an awful glare from Mark, the kind that usually meant that servers would crash).

And ok, Eduardo could actually see the appeal; he was always around and Mark let him. If someone asked Eduardo how it had started, he couldn't tell the exact point. It was somewhere between Eduardo's patient nature and Mark's usual withdrawal; somewhere between Eduardo's kind insistence and Mark's quiet expectation. Mark let Eduardo into his world and everyone that knew Mark could tell he only did what he really meant to. And he let Eduardo in deeper than anyone else.

But he did it his own way. By his rules.

And Eduardo only made it easier by yielding all the time.

It's not that Eduardo went against his will. In fact, he would have done it all over again. He just… for him, it was easy to be there for Mark. They fit, that's all.

But Eduardo often wonders how things would have turned if he had gone against Mark more times.

Would Mark still be his friend?

When Eduardo found out about 0,03%, he thought: here's my answer.

The only time in his life he said no, Mark crushed him.

And then, out of the blue, Mark's back into his life. It doesn't really startle Eduardo that he's forgiven Mark. Eduardo never really hated him; he had spent the three years trying not to think of him, because thinking of Mark hurt like hell.

But he can't shake the feeling that he's giving in too easily yet again. Mark wants his friendship back? Eduardo gives it right away. Mark suddenly reveals that he wants him? Eduardo goes and almost gives it too without as much as blinking, without even taking a minute to consider what he's been telling himself (he didn't even mention it to his therapist yet) since he let Mark back into his life: that he can't risk losing himself again.

And Mark… Mark's always had this power of making Eduardo completely lose himself, without the two of them even having to kiss, and…

…shit. They kissed. They kissed and the intensity was such that Eduardo can feel himself flush and tremble at the mere memory.

Eduardo kissed Mark because Mark pretty much confessed he wanted it and it was too much. He let himself go with the moment even if his anger had been put into the kiss, leaving Mark's lips red and swollen afterwards.

Still, the uneasiness didn't leave him. The feeling that if he went on with that, he would eventually be damned.

That he shouldn't trust Mark.

Eduardo gets home and sleeps for ten hours. Then he texts Chris and Dustin because he scared the shit out of them when he flew the apartment. Eduardo tells them he's alive and they know better than asking more, at least for now.

Then he calls his girlfriend and they break up, because he tells her the truth. He could never lie to her, and most of all he could never ask her to wait until he gets Mark out of his head.

Mark.

Looking up at him with anticipation even as Eduardo kept him pinned against a wall.

Making Eduardo drown in an ocean of darkened blue, before gathering courage (or was it cowardice) enough to resurface and deny it.

And Eduardo finally lets his mind play with the idea (no, it's a fact) that Mark has feelings for him.

Fuck, he dreamed of it pretty much through his whole college years.

It's not as if he didn't have a clue. It's just that by the time Eduardo started to suspect it, Mark was simultaneously fixated on thefacebook project and it was just impossible to keep up with whatever was playing on his mind.

So what if the first thing he did after coding was turning around from his desk chair and look for Eduardo? (and so what if Mark smiled when he saw him, all sleepy eyes and sometimes dimples?)

So what if Mark insisted on explaining his work in detail to Eduardo, even if he had Dustin, who could actually understand it?

So what if the only person Mark allowed to drag him back to reality was Eduardo?

And so fucking what if Eduardo was the only one who could touch him without making Mark flinch?

Eduardo allows himself a moment of giving in to wonderings. What if he had made a move then? Would things have turned out different?

Or would he have now a broken heart as a cherry on top of it?

He didn't even apologize.

Eduardo knows he's been sort of a jerk. He contemplates writing Mark an apology. After all, it was his initiative, and Eduardo… He wonders how it'll affect their friendship. The thought of seeing Mark again is painful, but the thought of not seeing Mark anymore is unbearable.

He knows how 'I'm sorry' might sound. I'm sorry I hurt you, or is it, I'm sorry I kissed you? But Eduardo can't just sit with arms crossed and do nothing. So he goes with I'm sorry. I want us to be ok, even if he knows he's far, far from that.

People think he codes to escape reality, but Mark knows better. It's the other way around. He escapes reality because he codes. Because coding is something (the only thing) that completely captures his mind to the point of making him oblivious to his surroundings.

So when Mark enters his office the day after the incident, Dustin shouldn't be looking at him as if he shouldn't be here. Never mind that he saw Mark broken to a thousand pieces only a few hours ago; Dustin should know that Mark's work keeps him sane. It's not weird that he's here.

It's certainly not weird that when Mark finds out there's no work to be done, he demands not to be disturbed, because he intends to sit his ass down and think. And it's not weird when half an hour later he's come up with a new idea.

What is actually weird is that his idea sort of involves reconfiguration of a few things, like, the whole Facebook dynamics. Mark knows he probably won't use the code. He just needs to write it, because it'll take, like, months to be done. Weeks, if he works really hard. That's exactly what he needs.

Because there's nothing else he can do.

That's what he told Chris and Dustin, after Eduardo ran away and the two kept staring at Mark with such disturbance that Mark actually felt bad for them. So, he said,

We kissed. Wardo regrets it. That's all. I'll deal with it.

And that's precisely what he's doing.

It had been hard enough convincing Dustin that no, he couldn't chase Wardo and demand anything from him. It'd be ridiculous; this is between Mark and Eduardo. Actually, this is about what isn't between them, and as far as Mark's concerned, it's the end of the story.

Now, Dustin's being insufferable, peeking over Mark's office door every thirty minutes, sometimes even asking if Mark needs anything, until Mark barks at him to stay out and locks his door.

He's just gone through lunch break without as much as moving from his place, when his phone vibes with a new message.

I'm sorry. I want us to be ok, Eduardo says, and it kills Mark, it's like living the scene all over again. Mark's overwhelmed with a mix of sorrow, helplessness and blinding anger. He lets himself cling to fury for a while.

Why the fuck did Eduardo have to do this if he wasn't over his doubts?

Mark doesn't even know if Eduardo still wants this; Eduardo sounded as if he was trapped in the past, as if his mind kept him there. He even talked in past tense, said that he wanted Mark for too long.

What if it was just a mistake?

Mark wants to answer fuck you. He wants to write no, we're not ok. I know you feel that a little pretense in relationships doesn't hurt, but I don't do games. It's not ok.

But this is Wardo.

Mark wants him in his life.

He can't help recalling what he said to Erica: I don't want to be friends.

Damn, Wardo. Mark can't do this to him. It would be so much easier if he could.

But Eduardo's reaction spoke volumes about his level of trust towards Mark. What happened was that their relationship was put to proof and Eduardo backed off. That's why, going against his screaming insides, Mark calls him without even knowing what to say.

Eduardo picks at the first call.

"Hey", he answers, relief clear in his tone.

"Hey"

There's awkward silence, which Mark dreads but knew there would be, and then the two are talking at the same time,

"Will you come to…

"I'm sorry"

Mark tightens his jaw.

"I know. We can drop it now"

"Mark…", Wardo says and it's a plea, and Mark doesn't know what to do with it. Thankfully, Eduardo goes on,

"I… I didn't want to hurt you"

Mark keeps quiet, though Eduardo can probably hear his hard breath.

"Mark, are you there?"

"Yeah, what do you want to hear? I don't want your stupid apologies, Eduardo. I just want to drop it. Can we?", and the sentence had started angrily, but it ends with an edge of despair and Mark hates it.

He can hear Eduardo sucking a good amount of air. There's another silence that feels like hours.

"What did you want to ask?", Eduardo finally speaks, his tone hard, unreadable.

"I want to know if you'll come next month. It's Chris's birthday"

"Huh? Yeah, ok, I'm coming", Eduardo's quick to reply, and he's about to add something, but Mark interrupts,

"Awesome", he says, not bothering to hide the bitterness, then adds, "I need to go, then"

"Mark… Ok. Bye, then"

Mark ends the call before anything else can be said and sits back on his desk chair, releasing a breath. When he finds that he just can't swallow down the knot in his throat, he goes back to work.

There'll be enough time to think when he gets home. Enough time to feel guilty for yelling at Wardo, and at the same time, knowing he did his best. At least he did something, something to make sure they keep in touch, to make sure Eduardo doesn't slip away this time.

Mark firmly ignores the feeling that Eduardo might want to slip away, that he'll eventually realize it.

For now, though, he's wired in, and if it's past midnight when he leaves the office, well, Mark didn't notice. When he's driving back home, Dustin calls to check on him, and when he finds Mark's still out, he gets worried. Mark doesn't tell him on his new project, as it would only get Dustin even more neurotic.

Next day, early evening, everyone's finishing work and Mark longs for the silence that'll take the offices once it's all empty, when Dustin comes in, circling Mark's desk, asking what's up in a terrible attempt of sounding casual, and Mark only has to raise an eyebrow for Dustin to spit it,

"We'll watch The Godfather tonight, I've called Chris. That'll cheer you up. I intend on going through the whole trilogy this time, no falling asleep."

Mark's eyes are back to the screen.

"You're watching. I'm staying, there's still too much to be done."

Dustin leans over his shoulder, trying to take a look at his work.

"Watcha doing? There's been nothing so big to be fixed and you haven't shared any news with me."

Mark quickly closes his laptop.

"It's no big deal. Listen, Dustin, call it off. I'm not in the mood today."

Dustin stays right where he is, that is, on Mark's personal space. Mark turns with a look that he hopes will express his disliking, but Dustin's got his You don't frighten me, Zuckerberg, for I've already cleaned your vomit innumerous times look.

"Have you and Wardo spoken?"

"Yes", Mark says in his best so what tone.

"And?"

Mark shrugs,

"He's coming to Chris's birthday"

That seems to calm him, because Dustin nods and turns to leave, not without telling Mark to take care and not overwork.

When Mark throws himself on his bed, it's past 3am.

Eventually, life comes back to claim him. Mark has to abandon his coding in favor of attending meetings, reunions, events. Mark's never ran from his duties and he's not about to start it now. But it's becoming harder and harder. His mind is a mess, he keeps forgetting things, loses focus when people are talking to him and even his ability to think properly has slowed down. There's something weighing him down and Mark can't quite put his finger on it. Sure, he knows the thing with Eduardo affected him greatly, but still, it's like there's something else going on, that's probably subtle but that's been nagging him.

Then one of his email contacts forwards Mark pictures of a paradisiacal beach called Bora-Bora, and Mark's first thought is, Wardo'll go crazy.

That's when Mark realizes.

He won't forward this to Eduardo.

They're not ok.

And then, he's being showered with awareness. Mark realizes that every time his cell vibes, he hopes is a Wardo message, because the two of them had been exchanging texts on a daily basis. That his house phone is unusually quiet, because Eduardo used to be the only one to always call him (most people know better than doing it).

Mark scrolls down his messages from Eduardo. They used to be random things, like, did you manage to dodge Chris and that boring reunion, or, please, don't tell me your lunch was tuna alone, at least put it inside the bread, and a tomato wouldn't hurt.

Shit. Did he lose it, too? Now that he'd just gotten it back?

And at some point, Mark ends up letting his friends do their jobs, which is, dragging him out, gathering at his place and getting him drunk. Then one day, Mark is startled by how much he wants to talk about what happened. It used to be something he dreaded; talking about something for no other purpose than just letting it out. But in this particular night he's slightly buzzed and Chris and Dustin are just there, no pressure, and Mark tells them his fear that now things are fucked up for good, that things between Eduardo and him will stay weird forever. Mark doesn't mention his other fears.

But then again, he's already fairly shocked at what life's experiences can do to one's sense of pride.

When Eduardo tries to explain the reasons for his attitude towards Mark in his therapy, it comes out sort of stupid.

"I can't be with him because he suddenly decided it may be a good idea."

It sounds like fucking pride. Why else would he be denying himself something that he clearly wants?

Then she asks, "Do you trust him?"

Eduardo's first impulse is to say "Sure I do". The first thing that comes to his mind is that day, when Mark had looked up at Eduardo and his blue eyes were so earnest, they were crystal clear and full of expectance. All Eduardo's instincts had pushed him towards Mark. He hadn't even blinked before leaning down and kissing him.

But now, with the heat of the moment gone and cold rationality getting in, it's another story.

Eduardo can't, he just can't shake from his mind the image he has made of Mark after the depositions, the image of a manipulative and opportunist guy, who had Eduardo wrapped around his finger and had taken full advantage of it.

Eduardo built this picture of Mark very carefully, and it has been his shield. A Mark who is cold by nature would have done it to anyone, not particularly to Eduardo. Not because Eduardo isn't worth it. That's comforting, in a way.

But Mark came to him, wishing for reconciliation, and it made Eduardo so full of joy. It actually frightens Eduardo how quickly the both of them are back to their previous roles, back to those old dynamics, the unique way things function between them.

Eduardo can't have that, no matter how much he wants it.

He can't have himself giving in all the time, forgetting all about everything every time Mark's attention is focused on him for more than one goddamn minute.

Eduardo feels like he's just holding his ground with all he's got, afraid of falling and not being able to stand this time.

Time drags itself to the day of Chris's party. It's taking place at Chris's, which is a large house, decorated with his ridiculously good taste. Obviously Chris is a popular guy and when Eduardo gets there, a little late, the place is crowded with people chatting and good music playing. Eduardo Chris and lets him go to his innumerous guests.

Eduardo's eyes scan the place for familiar faces. Across the room, there are a couple of guys who studied with him at Harvard. They're standing in front of a big sofa, where, looking closer, Eduardo sees Dustin and Mark all spread. The four of them seem engaged in good old memories; when Eduardo reaches the group, someone's probably just finished a joke, as everyone's laughing hard.

They all look at him and smile. Dustin stands to hug him. But Mark's face goes so awfully pale Eduardo feels bad. He's nervous himself, but he wasn't expecting it from Mark.

Eduardo thinks it's the obvious tension weighing in the air that causes the two guys to eventually excuse themselves. Dustin looks so out of place Eduardo takes pity on him; he's obviously deciding if he should leave or not. Dustin shrugs and comments on the good food and good music, and starts babbling about how Chris's boyfriend Sean now gets all his attention. Eduardo nods and Mark doesn't even try to hide he's not listening. Eventually, Dustin goes quiet and the three of them keep where they are, just watching the party.

This is so new.

Eduardo's presence clearly upsets Mark, and yet, he's still here. He still hasn't made any biting remarks. Mark doesn't stay for distressing situations unless he's absolutely forced to. And he'll always find a way to make others aware of his displeasure. But he does nothing except being quiet and looking sad.

It's driving Eduardo insane.

The hours go by and they talk to some more acquaintances. Mark and Dustin talk to some people that Eduardo assumes are from Facebook's staff. Chris comes and goes.

Eduardo and Mark don't exchange any words. Just stolen, nervous glances.

Then, Eduardo finds out he won't be able to sleep at Dustin's, because a couple of people are already crashing there. Chris, no need to say, also has too many guests that are sleeping over.

"Come to my place", Mark shrugs.

Eduardo goes.

When Mark drives them back, the sun's just about to rise. Eduardo's chest got tighter and tighter during the night from not speaking with him and now things are the same, except they're sitting side by side. There's only a muttered thanks when Mark opened the door from his car to Eduardo and a small nod when he did the same with his apartment door.

Mark steps into his house, turns the lights on and looks at Eduardo, his face unreadable.

"Do you want to take a shower? I can get you a towel."

"I… yes, please."

Mark nods and gestures for Eduardo to follow. They walk upstairs and get to the hallway. Mark disappears into a room, but comes out in a moment with a towel.

"You remember where the guest room is?"

Eduardo does, but he has to keep any small talk on.

"Is it that one? Second door to the left?" he points.

"Exactly."

Silence. Eduardo panics. He opens his mouth but Mark's speaking again,

"So, if you need anything, I'll be in my room. When you wake up, there's orange juice and other fruits that you like in the fridge."

Eduardo swallows a lump in his throat.

"You won't be here when I wake? It's Sunday."

Mark shrugs.

"I… I'll probably be in the office."

Eduardo raises an eyebrow.

"There's this new idea I'm working on."

Eduardo waits for Mark to develop it, but Mark doesn't; he keeps his gaze fixed on the wall behind Eduardo.

"Well, good night then."

"Good night", Eduardo mumbles, watching Mark disappear into his bedroom.

He can't sleep. It feels as if someone came and shook him, hard, reordering his brain.

What was he expecting?

Cold mockery. Humiliation, maybe.

Eduardo has known Mark's sharp tongue, his unawareness of other people's needs and Mark's general I don't care posture that borders rudeness. During the depositions, Eduardo had suffered with Mark's self-centered attitude more than ever, as Mark insisted on looking at him cross the table, as if Eduardo was the one betraying him, go figure.

The truth, however, is that Mark never was this person that haunts his mind.

Now, though, Eduardo takes a time to work with facts; he thinks of the way Mark's been acting with him. Spending hours on the phone, which Eduardo knows he hates. Going to the beach. Doing small talk and seeming actually happy about it.

Eduardo finally sleeps while wondering what would happen if he actually believed that Mark's changed. A little. Otherwise, he wouldn't be Mark.

He wakes up in the afternoon and goes downstairs. Mark's there, laptop on his knees. He looks up. Eduardo smiles at him. Mark doesn't smile back; only stares for an awkward moment until Eduardo breaks the silence.

"Did you eat?"

Mark shakes his head.

"I'll make us something then."

Eduardo grabs the toaster, makes coffee and eggs and fills two plates and two glasses with orange juice. They eat in silence. Mark picks at his food.

"When's your flight?", he asks, sipping his drink.

"Have to go after breakfast."

Mark nods. Eduardo washes the plates and cleans the sink under his gaze. Then he goes upstairs to grab his things that are already packed. Mark's waiting for him at the door.

But instead of heading to the door, Eduardo stops and seems stuck on his place, looking at Mark.

The urge to hold him is overwhelming. Shit, his head is a mess.

Mark's staring back with his most unimpressed look. For the first time, though, Eduardo sees right through him.

He sighs and makes himself move.

Mark can't numb his pain with coding.

It's not working anymore.

His mother, who's a psychiatrist, told him that not being able to run from reality is a proof of maturity.

Right now, Mark doesn't give a fuck.

There's nothing he can do. What's he supposed to do? Go home and cry? His life can't stop just because he's so fucking in love with someone who doesn't reciprocate. He should be able to deal with it. Mark's never heard of someone who died from it. This is ridiculous.

Eduardo's ridiculous.

If he doesn't want it, why does he keep looking at Mark with huge, searching eyes?

Why can't they just go back to what they were?

Mark thinks he's made it clear that things can go back to normal. But Eduardo, he's just…

It's like he pities Mark.

Is that why he won't call or text him anymore? Is that why he looked so lost when they met?

Does he think Mark is so fucking fragile that he'll break into pieces if he gets too close?

Mark's in his office, it's nearing 4am on a Monday morning and he's had a couple of beers. Maybe more than that.

Maybe that's why he grabs his phone in a rush of anger and texts Eduardo.

Fuck you, Wardo. Fuck. I don't know what the hell's going on your head that's driving you away, but I just don't want to lose you, ok?

Mark contemplates going home, but decides against that. A couple of hour passes as he surfs the internet and checks his emails. The sun's rising outside and his phone won't vibe. The alcohol's probably left his system, because Mark starts wondering if what he did was a good idea.

Suddenly, the door to his office is being spread open. Mark swills on his chair and Eduardo's walking in, coming in his direction, his face pretty determined. Mark can't believe his eyes, thinks he must be hallucinating, but then Eduardo leans down and wraps his arms around Mark.

The first reaction is shock, and Mark hates not knowing what's going on, so he instinctively struggles, but Wardo's grip is deadly firm, and all Mark manages is to look up at his face. Eduardo's lips are tight, his eyes impossibly dark.

"God, Mark, you didn't lose me, you'll never lose me. How could you even think…", Eduardo angrily says, hic voice close to Mark's ear, and Mark's lips tighten. He can smell Eduardo all around, feel the warmth of his body, and being held like this is too much.

"Wardo", he calls, his voice small and broken, even as his arms go around Eduardo's back. Then something's coming up against Mark's will and he's trembling, attempting to muffle it, but it's worse because it causes him to sob. It's all useless, and Mark tries to part, go, but Eduardo keeps him there, wrapping him tighter, burying his head on Mark's curls, running a soothing hand over Mark's back until Mark can do nothing but let go.

Mark can't remember the last time he cried like this, so helplessly.

Eduardo's arms don't loosen for even a second. But once Mark's eyes have dried, he parts from the embrace.

Wardo's looking at him, his eyes full of affection and concern, slowly lowering his hand from where it rested over Mark's head. His runs his thumbs through Mark's cheeks, drying the remaining wetness.

"I don't want to lose you either, Mark. And I'm sorry I've been acting strange. I'm… confused right now. I need you to give me time to sort myself out.", Wardo says, his gaze lowered, conflict showing clearly in his tone.

Mark finds himself washed with mixed feelings. There's a wave of relief that he and Wardo are finally communicating. There's also an edge of hope which makes Mark hold his breath, because Eduardo's words sound like a possibility. Mark tries not to let it overwhelm him, so that he doesn't do anything stupid like trying to pressure Eduardo.

Anyway, Mark's too exhausted, too drained to do anything but nod right now. It makes Wardo smile at him. It's a smile that carries pain, though. Mark smiles back anyway, knowing his own is probably not much better. He notices Eduardo's eyes scanning the office, probably taking in the several cans of beer.

"Keys, Mark. I'm driving you.", he asks, extending his hand.

Mark gives him and stands on his feet, trying not to lose balance. Eduardo reaches for him and Mark waves him off, trying to ignore the way Eduardo's eyes go wide and hurt.

He really doesn't want to deal with Wardo's proximity again right now.

Eduardo seems to get the message, though, because he doesn't try anything else even at Mark's clear unsteadiness.

It's only when Eduardo's already driving them that Mark recovers coherence and asks,

"How come you're here?"

"I canceled my flight yesterday. I couldn't make myself leave. I didn't know what to do. When I got your message, I was going to call you but Dustin called me and told me you were here. He let me into the offices."

Mark nods and turns his eyes back to the road ahead.

Once they get into his house, Eduardo accompanies to his bedroom and Mark just lets him. Ridding himself of flip flops and hoodie, Mark throws himself on the bed. Eduardo's standing by the door. He hesitates a little before saying,

"I'll go, ok? Sleep well, Mark."

"Don't be ridiculous, it's 7am and you haven't slept a bit. Get a room."

"I have to fly today, though."

"So do it."

Wardo nods, looking truly tired. When he leaves, Mark's so exhausted he's out in a minute.

Mark wakes to the sound of Wardo's voice on the phone downstairs. He blinks at the clock; it's little past noon. He finds Eduardo in the kitchen, slicing tomatoes, probably to make his famous spaghetti sauce.

"Hey", he smiles at Mark.

Mark mumbles something in reply, still blinking the sleep out. He never quite gets how Eduardo manages to be so full of energy as soon as he wakes. But it's comforting to wake up to the sounds of him cooking and his attempts of cheering Mark up.

"My flight is in the early evening.", he informs, now concentrated on slicing onions.

Mark knows he doesn't really get a say on this, so he nods. Wardo looks up a moment from his task.

"I'll come more times.", he states, not as a promise, more like casual, like it's a fact.

After lunch, Mark calls the office. Since there's nothing that particularly needs his intervention, he informs he'll be staying home. Eduardo almost falls hard on the floor and refuses to let Mark skip work on his account until Mark has to tell him that's not because of him, it's because Mark's hangover. That gets Wardo to shut up.

They spend the afternoon watching movies. Mark keeps making sarcastic remarks not only because he really is a criticizer by nature, but also because he knows Eduardo loves it. He easily makes Eduardo laugh as much as he wants, and that's really just amazing. Mark thinks of other things he wants from Eduardo, and it's terribly painful to imagine he may never have them. But he'd do anything to keep what he already has, because he can't even estimate the worth of it. He thinks of everything Wardo and him have been through, and feels suddenly grateful that they got so far.

He drives Wardo to the airport. Mark wants to ask him when he'll come next, if he intends on visiting during the holidays that are coming. He doesn't want to pressure, though. But after Wardo has checked in and they still have an hour, they sit in coffee shop and Eduardo tells him he'll be in Miami for Christmas, so New Year's is theirs.

Mark hides his smile into his mug of cappuccino.

When it's time to go, Wardo hugs him. Mark tries not to be too tense when it lasts a little more than a regular hug would. Not that he knows much about those. He's not complaining, anyway.

Eduardo perfectly knows he's far from being over his insecurities towards Mark.

Even when Mark came to him and 'apologized' in his own awkward way, Eduardo knew he'd need time to trust him again, because the blow had been too strong. So, a part of him was still waiting for some kind of reassurance that Mark cared.

Eduardo had never, ever wished for what he experienced, though.

Had he ever in his life seen Mark just break like this?

Sometimes, during the depositions, between his humiliating comments and cold stares, Mark looked down; lost, even, as if he could shatter any minute. But never actually broken.

Had Eduardo ever dreamed that it would affect him as well, as if he was the one hurting?

Yeah, he probably had.

He's so stupidly happy he's got Mark back, though. They reconnected yet again and it feels like their bond's gotten even stronger.

Eduardo misses him so fucking much. That brings him to the unsolved issue between them.

Mark has made it clear what he wants. Eduardo's the problem. Right?

Eduardo doesn't think he's being difficult on purpose. He also doesn't think it'd be a problem to go visit, as he promised he would. It doesn't have to wait a whole month until the holidays.

He has a busy week, trying to get things done so that his Friday is free. When Mark calls (because they are back to their previous routine of calling each other almost every day, even when there's absolutely nothing to say), Eduardo announces he's coming for the weekend and he can actually hear Mark's smirk, even as Mark tries to hide his excitement with rushed words about picking him at the airport.

Eduardo goes, willing his dark thoughts to just let him be. For once in his life, he'd like to do what he wants without second thoughts.

It turns out they have a great weekend. Mark picks him and they go straight to his house. Since it's little after noon, Mark has to go back to the office, but Eduardo was jetlagged anyway and needed a nap. To his neverending (and even scary) surprise, Mark comes back little past 6pm. They order pizza and watch TV with cold beer. Next day, Mark works from home until middle afternoon, which, according to Dustin, who stops by later, means the zombie apocalypse's probably at their doors. Eduardo recalls the last time he was here, when Mark skipped a whole day of work to stay with him, and thinks Dustin might be mistaken.

His flight is on Sunday, at night. They wake up early to enjoy the day, taking a walk through the beach, even if it's freezing outside (because Eduardo whined and Mark yielded), stop for lunch and get home in time for a small rest before going to the airport.

Mark's spread over the coach next to him, blinking sleepily at the TV. Eduardo knows Mark probably catches up with his sleep on weekends, so waking up early must have been hard for him. His cheeks are flushed from their walk under the sun and Eduardo wants to sink his hands in those curls.

With his heart pounding, Eduardo realizes his doubts have quieted down. Being with Mark means many things: it's exciting, funny, comforting, unnerving even, sometimes. But hasn't it always been like that? Isn't it what had dragged Eduardo to him, in first place? And right here, right now, Eduardo knows that despite all that happened, nothing's changed. They overcame it. By every moment, Eduardo grows more certain of what he wants, with all his heart.

And the thought is thrilling, and Mark's right beside him.

"Mark", he calls, sort of breathless, and Mark turns, eyes questioning, those icy blue eyes that drag Eduardo into them. Mark blinks, now sounding confused, and Eduardo reaches for his hand, intertwining their fingers. Mark looks at him, and suddenly, his eyes widen with realization, before narrowing down,

"Wardo, are you sure?"

Eduardo moves closer, squeezing his hand,

"Mark, I… Yeah, yes, I am.", he weakly says, barely able to put into words how sure he suddenly is. Still, he waits, because Mark's eyes are looking searchingly into his, and Eduardo feels his face flush, but holds it anyway. He wants Mark to find whatever it's he's looking for.

Then, Mark squeezes his hand back and smiles, a small, nervous smile. Eduardo lifts his hands to cup Mark's face and bring it closer to him. He presses their foreheads together and runs his thumbs through Mark's cheeks, through his lips, and Mark looks at him in wonder before closing his eyes, leaning into the touch. Eduardo presses a kiss to each corner of his lips. Then, he leans in and kisses his mouth.

It's completely different from last time. He's not half as conflicted as before, and definitely not angry, so it starts languidly, and their tongues instantly meet but they take their time to taste each other. Eduardo lets his sensed be slowly intoxicated with the heat of Mark's mouth, his unique taste, the solid warmth of his body on Eduardo's arms. Soon, it gets overwhelming, and Eduardo pulls him closer, pressing their bodies together and fuck, it makes him groan, makes the kiss more urgent and he feels Mark responding, pressing his hips against Eduardo's and gripping his shoulders with bruising force.

Eduardo pulls Mark until he's straddling his lap, Mark's thighs spread open. When Mark realizes where he is, he moans in the back of his throat, the sound muffled into their kiss. He starts kissing and licking Eduardo's jaw, his neck and behind his ear and it's so arousing Eduardo knows that if Mark couldn't feel his hard on before, now he can.

Mark probably can, because he starts pressing down, encircling Eduardo's neck and kissing him again. Eduardo's going nearly insane with Mark on his lap producing that friction. He slips his hands under Mark's hoodie, running them through Mark's sides and Mark's breath gets instantly faster, and he moans, Wardo, and Eduardo holds him tighter, kisses him harder and moves his hips along with Mark's until they are both panting, too breathless to kiss, just pressing against each other, Mark's head thrown over Eduardo's shoulder. Eduardo brings his hands to Mark's head, burying them in his hair. He can feel he's getting closer, and in a last flash of reason, before all coherence is gone, he delights himself that's Mark here with him, making this soft, helpless noises because of him, and Eduardo thinks the thought itself could make him come.

Eduardo feels Mark's body tremble and holds him as he comes. He follows Mark almost immediately, coming with Mark's mouth pressed against his cheek.

Before he can help it, Eduardo's shaking with laughter.

"Wardo, you've totally killed the afterglows!", Mark snaps, glaring.

"I'm sorry, Mark, it's just that, we've just come in our pants like fifteen year olds!"

"Shut up, who cares", Mark mutters, leaning in to kiss Eduardo again. It's sloppy and wet and hot, especially when Mark's hands start wondering inside Eduardo's buttoned shirt. Mark runs his fingers through Eduardo's chest and Eduardo throws his head back. Mark seems to take it as a signal and buries his face in his throat, and it's maddening how fucking delicious it feels. Eduardo's making this embarrassing noises and it's just unfair. He brings his hand to Mark's nape, stroking the curls in there, pressing Mark's head down, urging him to keep on. However, Mark slows his assaults and Eduardo thinks, interesting.

Then he pulls at the curls, enough to make Mark bend his neck, and Mark fucking moans.

Eduardo straightens himself and doesn't let go. He can't see Mark's face as it's still bent over his neck, but Eduardo pulls, harder.

Wardo, Mark calls, voice hoarse, and Eduardo nearly chokes.

Mark likes it rough.

Finally, Mark looks at him through eyelashes, all narrowed eyes and blown pupils.

Eduardo instantly feels a giant wave of affection swelling his chest and he doesn't care if it kills the mood, he just pulls Mark to his chest.

"I always knew you were a big sap.", Mark mutters, but goes too easily for someone who thinks so.

And now it's Eduardo's turn to say,

"Shut up and deal with it."

This time Mark's the one to laugh, and Eduardo happily feels the way his body shakes with it.

They're quiet for a while, just enjoying the closeness.

Then, Mark lifts his head and looks at Eduardo, who recognizes softness on his expression only because he knows Mark better than anyone. Mark brings a hand to his face, gently stroking it. His eyes are soft but he's serious, like he's considering something. It sends shivers down Eduardo's spine, to be the object of Mark's undivided attention like this.

"May I ask what made you change your mind?"

"I don't know… I needed time, I guess. To get used to us, again. I don't regret it, if that's what you're thinking. In fact, I never regretted it for real. I just couldn't accept it, at first."

"Why?", Mark inquires, not in a demanding way as he usually does.

Eduardo's unaware of the way he tightens his lips and frowns with the idea of telling Mark the ultimate truth of how he affects him. He finally concedes,

"I'm scared, Mark. Not of you. It frightens me the way I annihilate myself when I'm around you. I want you, but I don't want to feel like this."

Mark doesn't say anything; he only stares, still caressing Eduardo's face with the back of his hand. Eduardo's in awe by this gentle side of Mark. But when he thinks better, he knows it's not so new as he thinks. It's always been there in many ways, but he never allowed himself to believe it.

"Thank you for your honesty, Wardo. If… If there's something I can do to help it, you'll always tell me, right?"

Eduardo knows this is Mark's way of saying, I don't want to make you feel bad. If I do, please inform me and I'll try to change it.

Eduardo nods and feels lighter than he's felt in a long, long time. He smiles at Mark and pulls him closer, kissing his forehead and enjoying the feel of him on his arms.

They exchange soft, slow kisses until it's time to go to the airport.

When he gets into work the next day, Mark fully intends on walking unnoticed towards his office. But Dustin's probably been waiting for him at the front door, because that's where he is when Mark enters the building. He's instantly asking about Eduardo, which's exactly what Mark wanted to avoid. It's not that he doesn't want to tell Dustin; it's just that right now, he didn't want to think about it, he just wanted to keep the warm feeling that's settled inside him.

"We're fine, Dustin", he mutters, not even looking at his friend's face. But when Dustin doesn't say anything, Mark looks at him.

Dustin is totally amused.

"Oh my God, you two… you did it!"

"Shut up, Dustin", Mark snaps, walking into his office and trying to slam the door on Dustin's face, but Dustin forces his way in.

"You're too obvious, Marky. Now spit it, I deserve to know after all the suffering you've put me through. Who topped?"

"Fuck off. We haven't gotten there yet"

Dustin makes a thoughtful face,

"Yeah, makes sense. Wardo's a gentleman."

"Oh, and what am I? I dated Erica for months and we didn't do it."

Dustin gives a wicked chuckle,

"That's probably just proof that you were fooling yourself with woman"

"That's it. Get out, Dustin", Mark growls, standing up to shove Dustin out if necessary, but Dustin's already leaving between choked laughs.

He doesn't need to know that Mark tried with Erica. He was nineteen, after all.

At night, which's probably early morning in Asia, Wardo calls him, his voice sleepy from just waking up. Mark's stupidly happy just from hearing his voice and from Eduardo's tone, Mark assumes he feels the same. They talk of nothing in particular, just their plans for the week or movies to watch, the usual stuff. It's like everything's the same, except now they're allowed to say things like miss you, or, dreamed we were making out. And the tone of their voices; that has changed, too. It carries more intimacy, more affection. It occurs to Mark how dearly he'd wished for this, how he had kept himself from showing Wardo how much he actually…

Get a hold of yourself, Zuckerberg, Mark scolds himself. The last thing he needs is to be caught smiling dumbly by Dustin, or, God forbid, an intern.

The only thing that sucks is that they live in opposite sides of the Earth. But Mark often reminds himself of Eduardo's words when his ex girlfriend had confronted him about it, and tries not to make a big deal of it.

Except when it's only two weeks until New Year, Eduardo calls him to inform he won't be able to make it, because he's got clients who don't celebrate Christmas or New Year, they're from a different religion and they're stupidly rich and want to do business with Eduardo.

Then, he asks Mark to come over.

Mark can't. He can't. It's a whole week, and Facebook doesn't stop, ever, and the staff will be reduced for the holidays because Mark knows he can't take it from his employees, it's sacred holiday, so he needs to be here. He had been planning on working half-time, working from home, whatever. Mark tells so to Eduardo, ignoring the sense that he's acting selfish, because he really believes it'd be much easier for Eduardo to postpone his business.

"So you're saying I should delay my works and spend a whole week watching you doing yours?"

"I said I'll work part-time."

"Damn it, you don't get it, do you?"

And part of Mark does get it, but part of him doesn't. He clings to the last one, because it's the one that can make Eduardo come.

"It's an important holiday for the majority of the world. They'd understand.

Eduardo makes a noise of impatience,

"They may, but I'd feel bad about it. I'd rather do it as soon as possible"

"Because of your father", Mark can't help saying, not in mockery, more in distress.

He knew it'd have an… impact; Eduardo gets defensive when it comes to his father.

"What?", Eduardo asks in disbelief, his voice unusually low. Mark gasps, can't get any words out of his mouth, and Eduardo's adding,

"Is that what you think of me?"

"I… I don't believe you enjoy what you do. You're an exceptional businessman, Wardo, but it doesn't mean much to you, does it?"

"And since my job doesn't mean much, I should be the one to drop it?"

"So you agree you don't like what you do."

"You know, Mark, do you recall that day I promised to tell you if there's anything you could do to help me? So, this is you being extremely unhelpful. This is you showing little to no respect for me, being manipulative and making me feel as if I have to quit everything to please you if I want to be with you!"

"Wardo, I…

"Bye, Mark."

Shit.

Mark's left with a terrible sense of déjà-vu, and knows that the only difference between his current situation and the breakup with Erica is that Wardo's not here, otherwise Mark would probably be staring stupidly at a slamming door instead of a phone.

Does it mean his life's not evolved, not even a little bit?

Gosh, Mark had never intended to be harsh. He just really worried about Eduardo, he really believed his job didn't make him happy, and ok, that was only part of the story. There was also the part where Mark was a little upset because he wanted him here, but who could blame him?

Mark's not stupid, he knows he's not an easy person to deal with, he's too straightforward for his own good and Wardo's always known it. Back at college they were always arguing because of it, because Mark would say something cutting and Wardo's a sensitive person and would be hurt. But he always forgave Mark, with no need for apologies, and Mark never knew if he had managed to convince Eduardo with his flawless logic, or if Wardo just eventually let it go. He wasn't the kind of person to hold a grudge. Mark admired him for that.

And yes, Mark asked Eduardo to tell him these things, because he wants their relationship to be honest, he doesn't want Wardo keeping stuff to himself.

Now that Eduardo told him, Mark wonders how on Earth things are going to work out if that's what Wardo thinks of him.

Why is he with Mark, if it makes him feel like this?

Great, his eyes sting when he thinks it. And when he blinks, there's wetness.

Mark can't fall asleep this night.

Next day, he comes into his office earlier than ever. Everybody knows he's not a morning person and Mark can see their glances from the corner of their eyes. Predictably, Dustin leans over his shoulder minutes after.

"Did you sleep?"

"A little", Mark says, turning his laptop on.

"Is everything ok?"

Mark knows better than lying to his friends, so he tries,

"I've had a fight with Wardo."

Which, in Mark's vision, is an understatement. Eduardo hung the phone on his face and didn't call back; Mark doesn't even know if they're still…

Not the eye stinging again.

But Dustin, God bless him, doesn't mention it. He puts his hand on Mark's shoulder,

"Wanna fill me in the details?"

Mark shrugs. He really doesn't need to replay Eduardo's words in his mind now.

"Right. Can I only say one thing? I know you think advices suck, but you have to agree I've known you and Wardo for ages, so, do I get a say on this? It's no big deal, what I have to say."

Dustin sounds so firm and sure, Mark can only nod.

"All I want to tell you, Mark, is that you knew it wouldn't be easy. You knew you and Wardo have always had issues to be dealt with. All that happened kind of forced you two to face the issues, and it's probably the first time you're trying for good."

Mark stares unblinkingly at Dustin, who suddenly shrugs,

"I would say the same to Eduardo."

Then he leaves. But what he said makes so much sense that Mark's left considering it for the rest of the day.

When Eduardo calls him at the end of the night, Mark quickly announces he's booked a flight to Singapore for the next weekend. Eduardo's clearly shocked, but Mark explains they should solve this in person, and Wardo agrees wholeheartedly. They hang up without discussing things any further.

To himself, Mark thinks: if he wants to breakup, I'd rather he did it in my face.

By the end of the week, Mark's a wreck of anxiety. The only part of his life unaffected is his work, at least the part that concerns coding. The rest, which involves social abilities, is a complete mess, along with his sleep and general health.

So Mark's just glad when his plane finally lands after not sleeping for more than half an hour. He just wants it to be over.

But before it's over, he'll do every damn thing he can.

Eduardo picks him at the airport. Mark can't quite read him when he directs Mark a quick look before reaching for his baggage. They start walking off the airport and Eduardo has this air around him that leaves Mark confused, not knowing if he's mad or just serious. His dark eyes look very alight, and Mark shivers.

Eduardo puts Mark's baggage in the trunk and they get into the car. Then, Wardo sighs, lifting his hand to the wheel, while the other grabs Mark's hand.

"Hey", Wardo says, finally looking at him

"Hi", Mark answers, not managing to keep the confusion from his voice.

Wardo squeezes his hand and starts the car. The tension hanging in the air decreases a little after that.

Once they step into the apartment, Eduardo drops Mark's bags on the dinner table and throws himself on the couch. Mark follows him, but doesn't take a seat. He talks better on his feet, and, if possible, hands shoved in his pockets.

Eduardo looks on the verge of saying something, and Mark's dying to listen, but first of all he needs to get something out of his chest, something that's eating him alive, so he rushes to say,

"I had no idea. I swear, Wardo, I had absolutely no idea that I make you feel this way. I never intended to…The other day, about your job, I just worry that you're unhappy with it"

Eduardo's listening carefully, and when Mark's finished he takes a moment to assimilate the words and nods, his face softened. Then, he quietly adds,

"I shouldn't have thrown all the responsibility at you, though. My own self-doubts play a role on this, too."

"Wardo, drop it. You did well on telling me, ok? I'm glad you did it. I shouldn't have pressured you with your work. It's your own decision, I should respect it, even when I… think otherwise."

Eduardo raises an eyebrow,

"Can't you express your disagreement in less aggressive ways? You're the damn CEO of a worldwide company, Mark. I bet you can."

Mark frowns,

"Facebook is easier, it's not… personal."

Then, Wardo's gesturing for Mark to come sit by his side. Mark goes and Wardo turns to him, though Mark's looking at the carpet.

"You worried and came here. I trust you, Mark."

Mark looks up, staring with wide eyes at Eduardo.

This is the better gift Wardo could have given him. It makes him so relieved, he reaches for Wardo's hand, intertwining their fingers and allowing a small smile to show on his face. Wardo watches him, his eyes full of something that's always been there, that always made Mark's chest incredibly tight, but it's getting more evident now, and Mark struggles to keep talking.

"Since you do, I feel obligated to confess that the idea of not seeing you contributed to me being…aggressive."

Wardo chuckles, smiling fondly at him, which's honestly confusing to Mark. Sometimes, Wardo seems nuts.

"I sort of figured it, Mark. You certainly have a strange way of telling things. Were you feeling neglected?"

Mark nods, not facing him.

"Christ, Mark. Just because I didn't abandon everything to come here, doesn't mean I didn't want to see you!"

Abruptly, Wardo stops and looks at Mark with huge, alarmed eyes,

"Wait a minute… back at Palo Alto, that night you told me to stay or else…is that what it was all about?"

Mark rolls his eyes,

"Yeah, so glad it took you half a decade to connect the dots."

Eduardo narrows his eyes,

"Don't you dare implying that you were easy to read, Mark. You… come here", Eduardo says, already pulling Mark to him. Mark goes though his body is rigid, until Wardo starts stroking his back.

"You do realize I wanted to stay, right?"

Mark nods against Eduardo's shoulder. Then, Wardo's raising a hand to his hair, while the other goes to Mark's chin, turning his face. Eduardo places a kiss on his nose, and Mark's snorts, because, really? He brings his hands to Eduardo's neck, pulling him down for a proper kiss. A low moan almost immediately leaves Mark's mouth, because it's been long and he had been longing so much for this, but knew they would have to talk before, to sort themselves out (and trust Wardo to make it long), but it's like the kiss tastes better now, like it's more them, and Mark loses the ability to digress when Wardo's fingers start scratching his scalp. Mark melts into the kiss and Eduardo must feel it, because he makes this noise in the back of his throat, something urgent, and his hands bend Mark's head to kiss him deeper, cupping Mark's face.

Mark's hands are slipping underneath Eduardo's shirt, fingers tracing up to his chest, down to his sides and the small of his back. He feels Eduardo shivering, gasping between their mouths, and his hands go into the waistband of Wardo's pants, unbuttoning.

Mark, Wardo's calling, and Mark squeezes the bulge on the front of Wardo's underwear, just a teasing touch, before whispering in his ear, bed.

They stand and Mark's dizzy. They make it up to Eduardo's room, Mark right after him, but once Mark closes the door, before he turns back, he feels Eduardo's body trapping him against the door.

Wardo places small kisses on his nape and Mark shivers. He intended to turn around, but there's something so arousing on the thought of not being able to see what Eduardo will do to him. Then, Wardo's hands find their way under his hoodie, and Mark lifts his hands to help him take it off, along with his sweatshirt. Once they're gone, Eduardo wraps his hands around him and it's the first time he's touching Mark's naked skin and Mark sucks a huge amount of air in. Wardo fingers slip down to the small of his back, a light caress, and Mark's breath becomes uneven.

Then, Eduardo's hands reach the waistband of his pants, slowly pulling it down, and Wardo's kneeling behind him.

Wardo? Mark calls but it's breathless, and Wardo's answer is just a small, hoarse hmm?

Eduardo lowers Mark's pants to his ankles. Then, his start tracing Mark's legs, going up and up, and when they reach the back of his knees, Wardo kisses there and Mark's legs start trembling. Eduardo circles Mark's legs with his hands and caresses them with his palms spread, taking his time when he reaches the insides of Mark's thighs, and now Mark's shamelessly moaning his name, pressing his forehead against the cold surface of the door, not actually believing how stupidly aroused he is, without even being touched there.

When Eduardo starts kissing behind his thighs, Mark can't restrain himself anymore and starts rubbing his dick against the door.

Mark,

Eduardo abruptly stops and Mark can't help the sound of protest he makes, and looks over his shoulder. Wardo's eyes look a shade darker, intensely fixed on him.

"Wait. I'll get there."

His tone is firm but gentle, in a very Eduardo way. Mark's eyes widen in shock. He makes a frustrated sound but stops, because fuck, this is unexpectedly hot, and he hadn't even realized he had lifted his arms over his head, in complete surrender. Wardo's hands go up to his belly and down to Mark's groin, caressing the whole area surrounding his erection without actually touching it, and Mark swears under his breath.

Then, Eduardo's hands get to Mark's ass, fingers pressing into it, stroking, and Mark feels even hotter than before, his heart pounding in his chest, and suddenly, Wardo's parting his butt cheeks.

Fuck, Mark groans, spreading his legs, but when Eduardo's tongue starts licking him there, his mouth falls open, not even close to conceive what it feels like. No one had ever done it to him and Mark never knew it would feel so incredible, it's like every single nerve in his body has come alight, to the point that he can't even feel embarrassed. After taking his time to completely wet Mark, Wardo's now fucking him with his tongue and it's suddenly too much sensation. Mark's jerking his hips, trying to get some friction, it's involuntary. Eduardo probably takes pity on him, though, because he chuckles and stands, pressing his whole body against Mark's, his hands coming up to hold Mark's wrists above his head,

"I take it you liked it", he says, mouth pressed against Mark's shoulder, and Mark abruptly pulls from his grip and turns to him,

Shut up, Mark snarls, but his voice's hoarse and it really doesn't sound that harsh. He pulls Eduardo down for a long, breathless kiss, and feels Wardo's hard on against his thigh. Mark pulls Eduardo's pants down and shoves his hands inside his underwear, causing Wardo to groan low in his throat. Mark starts stroking him, slow and teasing, using pre-come as lube, and Wardo buries his head on Mark's shoulder to muffle his sounds.

This time, Wardo's the one to say, bed, and Mark groans with the interruption, rushes to reach the bed first. Wardo's leaning over him, lowering him to lie on his back. Their erections touch and Mark throws his head back, biting his lips; he's painfully hard but doesn't think there's need to rush things; this ongoing agony is delicious and Wardo probably agrees, otherwise he would have done something about it. Mark's running his hands over Eduardo's tan back, enjoying the feel of his solid weight. They're slightly rubbing against each other, and Mark could lose himself doing just that, but then, Wardo's reaching for something on the bedside table.

"No condoms", Mark informs, and Eduardo looks at him with huge eyes, but Mark's ahead of him,

"Yeah, I'm sure, now move"

Eduardo rolls his eyes and takes only the lube. He looks at Mark in silent question, though now it's another one. To make his point, Mark parts his legs further to let Wardo between them.

Wardo nods at him, seeming nervous, then nods again, probably reassuring himself.

It doesn't hurt when he starts preparing Mark; he's using a lot of lube, but it's a discomfort. It feels so until Mark's muscles start to loosen, and still Wardo keeps stretching him open, and says in his trembling voice,

"God, Mark, you're burning".

It's nice, being filled like this, but Mark's still not feeling anything special, so he turns on his side to give Wardo a better angle, and,

There.

Mark's toes curl and his body jerks. Eduardo twists his wrist, doing it again, and Mark tightens his lips to restrain the needy sounds that were likely to come and fists the sheets.

Wardo's smirking and Mark wants to kill him but he also wants to get fucked so he digs his fingernails into Wardo's hips, urging him down, and if it also hurts, well, he'll probably hurt Mark now, too.

Wardo's very careful with him and usually it would get on Mark's nerves, but right now, he's glad, because it fucking hurts. Eduardo goes little by little and it still burns, his muscles protest, and Mark goes entirely rigid. Then, Wardo's leaning over him, kissing his face, stroking his hair, giving Mark time to adjust.

When Mark finds it's safe, he locks his ankles around Eduardo's hips, urging him to move. Wardo starts slowly, and Mark can tell he's probably restraining himself, because his breath sounds heavy, his lips tight.

Then, Wardo's cock brushes that spot. Mark's mouth falls open.

"Wa…Wardo, again."

Eduardo thrusts his hips again, and again, hitting right there, and Mark's hips move up along with his, trying to get him deeper, so Eduardo takes it as a sign and lets himself go, pounding into Mark. Wardo grabs his knees and bends Mark's legs, and Mark's not that flexible, but the angle's perfect. Eduardo must also think so, he closes his eyes, biting his lips, head slightly thrown back, and Mark's breath gets caught in his throat just from watching. His cock is trapped between his stomach and Wardo's, and teher's friction with every thrust of their hips..Mark's arms went above his head, he's also close, so he's not ashamed to ask for the one thing that's missing, Wardo, will you… will you hold me down? And Wardo does, no hesitation, lifting his hands to pin Mark's wrists down.

Mark comes first, feeling all his muscles tense, before completely relaxing. Wardo's still moving above him, Mark feels his hard breath against his neck, and clenches his muscles around him. That must make it, and Wardo's coming inside him, and Mark feels the hot wetness, it feels really, really good.

Wardo's head's resting against Mark's chest. They're both panting. Eduardo's hair's a mess and Mark's proud for being the cause. He also liked it better without being all pulled back. He lifts his hands to stroke it, earning a contented sigh from Wardo. They keep like this for a while, until Wardo lifts his head from Mark's chest, to look at him. His hair's pointing everywhere, his cheeks are still flushed from the sex and he's watching Mark through long eyelashes, still panting a little.

God, he's breathtaking.

Mark growls and pushes Wardo's head back into his chest. If Wardo kept staring now, Mark would start babbling nonsense to cover the sudden warmth spreading through his chest. Not that he wants it to stay hidden. Eduardo deserves better, really. But for now, Mark thinks that caressing Wardo's hair, and kissing his forehead afterwards, and letting Wardo cuddle him for the entire night, is the best way to make himself clear.

Not that doing those things is a big sacrifice, anyway.