Still Raining

by chochowilliams

3rd and final installment in the "I Want Us To Be A Family" series. There was one woman at the press conference that refused to leave well enough alone. Two years later, she's back and causing trouble. She's determined to prove that Aizawa isn't the biological father of little Takanori. What if she's right?

10. To Live Happily Ever After

Raining

Sequel to: Street of Dreams

I Want Us To Be A Family Series

Written by: chochowilliams

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Summary: There was one woman at the press conference that refused to leave well enough alone. Two years later, she's back and causing trouble. She's determined to prove that Aizawa isn't the biological father of little Takanori. What if she's right?

Warning: AU, Angst, Drama, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fantasy, M-Preg, Language, M/M, Hentai, OCs, OOC, Hermaphrodites (referred to as "Neutrals"), Christian Extremist POV, Bashing

Pairings: Shuichi/Eiri, Ryuichi/Tatsuha, one-sided Eiri/Ayaka, Mentioned: Shuichi/Taki & Shuichi/OMC

Inserts: quote from Angels & Demons, Section from "A Boy Named Sara"

A/N: This is it. Thank you for all your support!

oOo

Chapter 10: To Live Happily Ever After, The Bitch Must Die

The Next Day - Seiryu Memorial Hospital - Tokyo

Shuichi was numb. His usually tan complexion was pale, his face sticky with the residue of dried tears. His amethyst eyes, red and puffy, were dull and lifeless. Vaguely, he was aware of the black suited men following him as he ambled listlessly through the hospital, but he ignored them just as he'd ignored everybody else. It was easy to make himself forget their presence. What good had they been anyway? Tohma had sent them to protect him and his family from a possible threat, but in the end, they'd done absolutely nothing as that car had careened towards him. No, it'd been his mother who'd come flying to his rescue.

The pain that had simmered to a dull ache came roaring back. A single tear rolled down his cheek.

This late at night-or was it: this early in the morning?-the sterile winding halls of the hospital were eerily silent. It was deserted like a ghost town. For that he was grateful. Right now, he just wanted to grieve for his mother without having countless strangers coming up to him hugging him and patting his shoulder saying how sorry they were for his loss.

Even now that incessant buzzing followed him no matter how far from the ER he strolled. He could still hear it echoing in his head mingling with Maiko's screams, his father's stunned expression and Ryuichi's silent tears.

He wasn't sure where any of them were and he didn't particularly care.

As he approached another junction, the low murmur of male voices could be heard. Even though he could not make out what was being said, he recognized the speakers. They sounded like Eiri and Tohma.

He hadn't even known they'd left the ER.

"Are you absolutely sure it was Ayaka Usami?"

Shuichicame to an immediate halt. Usami? Where had he heard that name before? His brow scrunched in thought. Usami. Usami. Wait. Wasn't that the chick Eiri's father tried to get him to marry? Why were they talking about her? His pulse started racing. Did she have something to do with the accident?

"Yes."

Shuichi crept forward and peered around the corner. It was Eiri and Tohma. Eiri looked livid. Of course, Tohma looked like his same nonchalant self. Shuichi could not remember ever seeing Tohma not levelheaded.

"I looked right as her Tohma. Right at her!"

"I have my people on it, Eiri," Tohma was saying in his usual calm voice. "We will find her." He sounded so sure. There was no doubt in his voice. "She won't be able to get far with all of Japan looking for her. Don't worry."

Eiri fisted his hands. His brother-in-law's certainty did little to ease the anger surging through him. "'Don't worry'? How can I not?! She tried to kill Shuichi!"

Shuichi froze.

What?

This…She…No. No. It can't be. It…

He staggered backwards until his back hit the wall. The jolt snapped him out of his stunned stupor. Wrapping his arms around his belly, he slid down the wall to the floor as the dam broke and a flood of tears coursed down his face.

Ayaka Usami killed his mother.

"I'll kill her," he sobbed as a rush of fury swept over him. "If I ever get my hands on that stupid cunt bitch I'll make her regret the day she was born!" That was a promise.

oOo

A Month Later - Early Morning - Mataguchi Residence - Avan Minami-Aoyama Manor - Tokyo

Sitting at the table in her small yet efficient apartment with her back to the kitchen, Nami Mataguchi was staring blankly out the sliding glass doors. She did not see the forest of greenery that was her balcony or the endlessly blue summer sky with the intermittent wispy cloud. She heard the distant rumble of traffic. Occasionally the obnoxiously loud roar of a vehicle cut over the rest as if it were a contest to see who can annoy the rest of humanity the most. There was the chatter of people coming and going and the barking of a dog. She watched, but not really taking it in, as a bird perched itself on the railing of her balcony for only a moment before taking flight.

A light breeze flowed into the apartment through the open balcony doors. It trailed across her face like a lover's hand, but did little to ease the stifling oppression that filled the apartment; the air conditioner was broken.

In her hands was a white ceramic teacup. The floral aroma tickled her senses. She lifted the cup and took a delicate sip. The warmth of the tea spread through her.

"Tokyo police are still on the lookout for nineteen year old Ayaka Usami of Kyoto."

The cup's downward motion halted halfway. Nami turned towards the television sitting on the sideboard across the room.

"She's wanted for questioning regarding the hit and run accident that killed Mai Shindou last month. The forty-nine year old homemaker leaves behind her husband of twenty-eight years Morihiro Shindou and three children-thirty-two year old Ryuichi Sakuma of Nittle Grasper, eighteen year old Shuichi Shindou of Bad Luck and who may have been the intended target, and sixteen year old Maiko Shindou from Seikeitsu High in Kyoto-and one grandson.

"Witnesses at the scene of the accident claim the car deliberately aimed for eighteen year old front man Shuichi Shindou-who confirmed reports just last week that he is indeed pregnant with twins."

A pre-recorded interview replaced the gray-haired anchorman. The caption at the bottom of the screen stated the man was Yatsutora. He did not appear to be more than twenty years old. "And this lady," he was saying, "she just, like, appeared from outta nowhere and pushed the kid out of the way. I didn't realize until later that it was Shuichi Shindou. That lady saved his life."

"Reports say the force of the impact sent Mrs. Shindou flying over sixty feet. She succumbed to her injuries in the early morning hours at Seiryu Memorial Hospital with her family by her side," the anchorman was saying over the silent images of the chaos that had enfolded at the scene following the accident.

A man dressed in monk robes popped on the screen. The caption at the bottom of the screen said, "Masahiro Usami".

"Ayaka's father," Nami whispered. This had to difficult for both him and his wife. Ayaka was their only child.

"Ayaka is a good girl. She would never do something like this. Never! These accusations are ludicrous and baseless."

Nami snorted. Having worked for the younger woman, she had firsthand knowledge of this so-called "good girl". The only baseless accusations being made about Ms. Ayaka Usami were the ones being spewed by her father, but then again that seemed to be parents' prerogative. No matter how much evidence piles up to the contrary, their child was always innocent and would never hurt a fly. "Bull. Shit."

A picture of Ayaka flashed across the screen. "Ayaka Usami is five-foot-four, one-hundred-fifteen pounds with long brown hair and brown eyes. She was last seen driving a 2005 silver Toyota that police say would have massive front-end damage.

"If you have any information please contact the Tokyo police at…And remember, you can always remain anonymous."

Torn, Nami's gaze traveled to the cellphone that was sitting on the counter behind her and bit her lip.

oOo

Kyoto Cemetery - Kyoto, Japan

His father had completely ignored his presence, which had been just fine with Shuichi. This had given him the space to grieve for his mother in peace. Though if truth be told, there had been a small part of him that had hoped they could work things out, have some sort of relationship, if for nothing more than for his mother. Guess that had been too much to hope for.

It hadn't been up for debate. There hadn't been any question or doubt about them attending the funeral or not and it had nothing to do with Mai Shindou giving her life to save him and unborn grandchildren. Her sudden appearance at the scene that night had been like that of a superhero arriving just in time to save the day. It hadn't been out of a sense of gratitude or seen as an obligation that could be done without. It would have been childish and immature to blow off her funeral just because there hadn't been any communication between them in years. They may have had their problems, yes, maybe even hated one another to a degree, but in the end, she was still his mother and Shuichi would always love her.

Despite his father's continued cold shoulder, the rest of the extended family had welcomed not just Shuichi but his husband, son and-reluctantly-even Kizou.

Eiri had turned the entire family into fangirls. They all had a good laugh over this later-everyone but Eiri that is who still had that tick he developed when he was annoyed. Eiri personally had liked it better when they'd been disowned from their respective families.

Everyone had fawned over and nearly suffocated to death poor little Takanori who had been so overwhelmed at meeting so many new people at once.

Shuichi himself had been a little overwhelmed as he had been pampered over the entire time. His great grandmother had smacked him upside the head for being involved with a mob boss then turned around and said that he "did well". He was still not sure what that was supposed to mean.

Maiko had been a complete mess. She'd always been closer to their mother than he had been.

Because it had been decided that they would stay in Kyoto the entire month, she roped them into helping to finish the nursery. Apparently, she was having a boy. Thankfully, their father hadn't been home much during the time they were there. Unexpected overtime or so Maiko claimed.

As for his mother, Mai Shindou's ashes were interred here in the Kyoto Cemetery besides her parents who had passed away several years back a year and a day apart.

With his head bowed, Shuichi was kneeling before her grave. His amethyst eyes were shut, but the tears were not deterred. They coursed freely. His lips were moving in silent prayer.

Shuichi was not a religious man, but he wasn't not religious either. In a way, he was agnostic-not really sure one way or another. On the other hand, he was pantheism-the belief that God and the material world are one and the same thing and that God is present in everything.

He was not sure if there was such a thing as God, or if the concept of God-whether referring to the God (if one existed) or multiple gods-was just invented by early man as a way to explain the unexplainable, but if there was, he was more likely to believe God was something akin to the Force-"energy that flows through the synapses of our nervous system and the chambers of our hearts" as he heard it once described. It's the man behind the curtain, as it were, the cause of the Big Bang. Thus, it created the universe and continues to help it expand. It helped give life to the planet, from carving out rivers and valleys and forming mountain ranges and growing the forests. It was what caused hearts to beat, hair to grow, lips to smile, noses to breath, tongues to taste, eyes to see, hands to feel, and legs to walk.

His belief in God may be tumultuous, but he was sure of his belief in life after death; whether that be reincarnation, Heaven, or something else entirely he could not say, but he had to believe that death was not the end. He had to believe that life continued after the physical body turned to dust and the mourners left, the tears stopped, the gaping hole the deceased left in the heart and souls of those left behind filled in, the flowers wilted and died, tombstones became overgrown with grass and weeds, and memories faded until finally the only reminder that the person had actually existed was an old photograph in a photo album tucked away in the back of the closet. To believe in life after death was to believe that his mother was still alive. That she was not truly gone, but had just gone on to something better.

Shuichi dropped his head into his hands and sobbed quietly.

oOo

Eiri stood a little ways back from his husband with an unusually silent Takanori in his arms. If it wasn't for the fact that his son weighed just under a ton, it would have been easy to forget he had a child in his arms. Little Takanori was never this still or this quiet, not even when he was sleeping.

He pushed aside his own tears and tried to ignore the aching in his throat and the tightening in his chest. As he'd never met the woman, it was difficult for him to mourn the passing of his mother-in-law (grandmother-in-law?). That was not to say he felt nothing at her sudden and tragic death, for it was impossible to not feel something, some sympathy at least, but it was impossible to have or feel the level or depth of emotions as someone who'd actually known and spent time with the deceased.

What had his heart aching as it did was seeing what the death of Mai Shindou was doing to her son.

"Why Mama cry?"

The question was so innocent, but Eiri was fighting back a renewal of tears because of it. The ghostly ache in his throat became painful as the fight to keep his sobs at bay grew tougher.

Out of the mouth of babes, he thought with a wave of sorrow.

How was a parent supposed to discuss something like this with his child, especially when said child was so young? Little Takanori was only two years old. Come February, he would be three. How could you explain death to a child in a way that he would understand?

It took several tries for Eiri to be able to say, "Mama's sad." Even then, the short phrase came out in a hoarse whisper. It physically hurt to speak those two simple but meaningful words. The effort to expel them had him feeling winded and left his throat stinging and raw, almost as if those words had been surrounded by thorns as they traveled up his throat and out of his mouth.

He'd expected his son to ask why Mama was sad, but instead, little Takanori started fidgeting and squirming. As he was hard pressed to hold onto him, Eiri gently lowered his son to the ground, who took off running to Shuichi before his feet hit the ground.

There was the sound of crunching of gravel behind him. He did not need to look to know who it was.

"Hey," greeted the soft-spoken voice.

Not trusting his voice to not come out in an embarrassed squeak, Eiri merely nodded, making a noise of acknowledgment.

"How's he doing?"

Eiri never noticed it before, but Kizou had a slight accent. He wondered if it was more perceptible when the man was emotional.

As he considered how to answer that question, he watched his husband and their son.

With his legs folded beneath him, Shuichi was sitting before his mother's grave with little Takanori sitting in his lap facing him. His golden eyes were riveted on his mother's face as the man spoke to him quietly. Eiri wondered what his husband was saying to their son.

"Holding up," he finally said. It was true enough. Shuichi had his good days and then there were the bad days. Sometimes it was hard to get Shuichi out of bed. Other times Shuichi locked himself away in his studio. There were days when Shuichi would cry for hours or he would burst into tears seemingly at random moments. Other days Shuichi wouldn't shed a tear. Occasionally, Shuichi acted as if he'd finally been able to move passed her death, smiling and laughing. Eiri wasn't sure if the emotional rollercoaster was because Shuichi was in mourning or if it was due to the pregnancy hormones.

"I'm sure he feels guilty."

Eiri nodded.

"When we were together," Kizou continued, "he never spoke about either of his parents unless I asked him and even then it was like…" Pulling teeth, he thought, would have been easier than getting him to speak about his family. "Trying to talk to him was like trying to reason with a rabid animal."

Guess Shuichi hadn't really changed all that much. Even after they received that card not long after Shuichi was kicked out of the house and disowned by his father, Shuichi hadn't said much about his parents. Eiri tried to bring it up once or twice, but Shuichi would just shrug and change the subject. What Eiri did know was that Shuichi's father thought of him as a "freak" for being a neutral and that the man hadn't had the slightest interest in his son's life. Even little Takanori's birth had gone unnoticed. Mr. Shindou doted on his daughter and stepson though…well, had doted on his stepson until said stepson disowned them as his parents. That move had actually helped Shuichi move passed the painful knowledge that he was no longer needed by them.

As for his mother, Shuichi never talked about her now that Eiri thought about it. Eiri didn't know much about their relationship. He knew she refused to acknowledge that Shuichi was a neutral; she'd been in denial about that, but Eiri could not remember if he'd heard that from Shuichi or if someone else had told him.

"He talked about Ryuichi Sakuma a lot though."

That Shuichi did.

"I overheard him and Narata-he's…." Subordinate? Employee? "…my assistant-talking once. He said that Sakuma was 'more of a father than' his father had ever been."

Eiri believed that.

"But despite how he may have felt for them or he for them, they are his parents and knowing that his mother died saving his life…? That he never had the chance to work things out or patch things up with her?" Kizou shook his head. "I can't imagine."

The two men watched as their son stood up and turned around to face his grandmother's grave. Behind him, Shuichi stood up on his knees and lightly traced his mother's name that had been etched onto the grave marker. Eiri saw his husband's lips move, but he couldn't make out what he was saying.

When Shuichi pulled back, little Takanori stepped forward and kissed the white pillar where he'd just seen his mother touch.

The sight was too much for Kizou. It forced him to turn around and walk away a pace so he could gather himself. He tipped his head back and blinked rapidly several times, holding them open wide in an attempt at keeping the tears from falling and took deep breaths to loosen the tightness in his chest and dispel the ache in his throat.

Eiri smiled through the burn of tears at the sight.

oOo

Swiping at his falling tears, Shuichi pushed to his feet and held out a hand to his son while the other gently rubbed his rapidly expanding belly. "Come on," he sniffed. "Let's go see Daddy."

Little Takanori took his mama's hand and as he allowed his mama to guide him away to where his daddies were waiting, he turned around to look back at the skinny stone where Mama said Grandma was sleeping. "Bye-bye," he waved.

Violet eyes swimming in a well of tears, Shuichi gave the smaller hand within his a gentle squeeze. When little Takanori gazed up at him, he smiled down at him. "I don't know about you, but Mama is starving to death here. Where should we go?"

He watched the two year old's face light up. It was more like an explosion of exhilaration. "Bugger King," little Takanori cried, bouncing along besides him.

Shuichi chuckled lightly. "Alright. Let's go."

Cheering loudly, Little Takanori dropped his hand and tore through the cemetery to his daddies to tell them the excellent news.

Shuichi laughed after him.

He stepped into the main aisle and paused to glance one last time at his mother's final resting place. What his mother was doing there in Tokyo that night, nobody seemed to know. Had she come to express her outrage at how he was once again bringing embarrassment to the Shindou name? To confront him? Or had she been there to try to work things out between them? Either way, he would never know for certain now and that was worse than knowing that she was no longer just a phone call away.

Turning away, he brushed at the annoying trickle of tears and started down the aisle to where Eiri waited. It was time to go home.

oOo

Seguchi Residence - Tokyo Midtown Residence - Tokyo

Mika was a nervous wreck. She was hoping for the best, but expecting the worse. This was not the first time she's found herself in the position she was currently in. She lost count of how many times she's been wrecked by this same nervous expectation, hoping against hope that it would be this time. Unfortunately, despite her fervent wishing and praying, the countless threats and rivers of tears, the desire she and her husband of nearly a decade have held onto, regardless of the evidence that continued to stack up against it, was dashed time and again. Though she knew not to get her hopes up-the higher they were held, they longer the drop inevitably was-she had to hope this time was going to be different. She just had to.

And so, she paced.

From the front door, through the foyer and into the living room to Tohma's office, then back out through the living room and up to the second floor, passed the four bedrooms, the master suite and the bathroom and back downstairs into the kitchen, around to the dining room and into the back bedroom, passed the downstairs bathroom, the utility room and back out through the dining room and kitchen to the backdoor. Then she would turn around and make her way back through the house to the front door. From there she would begin the cycle all over again.

She was making herself dizzy and yet she refused to stop. She did not want to stop for if she were to she would begin the "what if" game. What if she was? What if she wasn't?

Feeling nauseous, Mika was trooping down the stairs for what felt like the millionth time when the silence of the house was shattered by the ringing of the phone

Nearly tripping down the carpeted stairs in her haste, she flew into the kitchen.

"Hello?" she panted into the phone.

"Good morning. This is Dr. Yamashita from T-U Family Practice calling for Mika Uesugi," said the calm, professional voice.

"This is she," Mika confirmed breathlessly. Her heart was suddenly racing a mile a minute and it had nothing to do with the 100-meter dash she just completed.

"Hello, Mrs. Uesugi. Your tests results came back."

Experience told her not to, but Mika held her breath and prayed. Please. Please. Please, she chanted.

"I believe congratulations are in order. You are pregnant."

She was not sure how she'd suspected she might react to the news of a pregnancy. Quiet, calm acceptance? Exaltation? Shock and disbelief? What she got was a well of tears that stung her eyes and blurred her vision before they spilled down her cheeks. Her free hand flew to her mouth to stifle the sobs aching to be let loose. A fine trembling shook her, which she could not seem to stop. When her legs threatened to give out, she had to lean back against the counter to keep from collapsing into a puddle of jelly on the floor. A well of happiness swelled within her. She couldn't quite believe it. It was too good to be true. She hoped she was not dreaming. If she was, she did not want to wake up. "Are…are you sure?" she whispered.

"Positive."

"Oh," she sobbed.

"Five weeks to be exact."

Mika slid to the floor. She did not know what to say-not that she could. She was too overwhelmed to speak.

This certainly was a dream come true.

"I would like you to come in in two weeks, if that's doable, for a routine check up."

Mika was nodding. Not trusting herself to speak just yet, she made an affirmative noise and hoped the doctor would understand.

Dr. Yamashita seemed to for she laughed lightly. "Congratulations again. I know you and your husband have waited a long time for this."

That was an understatement, she thought. "Thank you so much," Mika whispered aloud.

"You're welcome my dear. Now, if you can hold for a sec, I'll transfer you to Janus alright?"

She was nodding again. "Certainly," she forced herself to say.

"You have a good day."

"You too," she returned automatically.

Soft music trickled over the line.

"I knew it was all his fault," she whispered happily, remembering that day a month ago. Never before had she felt this elated. Today was a good day.

oOo

NG Productions - Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo

He knew he should be paying attention, but Tohma found his attention wavering. It has been like this all month. He could not seem to get any work done. His mind kept replaying the phone calls he'd received as he'd been pacing his office late that night.

The first one had been from K. "We arrived too late," his assassin for hire had told him.

He'd barely had time to process what that could possibly mean when the second phone call came. This time it'd been from Eiri.

It was all his fault. His fault!

Maybe if he would have just informed Eiri sooner about the possible threat…

If the guards he'd assigned to guard his brothers-in-law had arrived sooner…

If he'd gone over there himself…

If…

If…

If…

Looking back on what he could have done differently was slowly driving him crazy!

And to make matters worse, the crazy bitch was still out there somewhere.

Tohma was grateful for the reprieve when a light knock sounded on the conference room door, interrupting the mindless arguing that had been going on for the last half an hour. He may not have been paying particular attention to any of it, but it was still giving him a massive migraine. The door opened silently and his secretary poked her head in. "Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Seguchi," Nanako apologized with a sheepish expression, "but you have a phone call."

Tohma sat back with a frown. Nanako knew never to interrupt him during a meeting unless it was important. His heart starting beating faster. He wondered. "Who is it?" His voice came out steady, strong, and almost bored sounding, nothing like how he was feeling.

All heads within the conference room turned to watch the exchange between his secretary and him as if they were at a tennis match.

"All he would say was that you'd told him to call you if anything substantial came in?" She made the statement a question and looked apologetic, as if she had failed to fulfill a request so simple even a child could complete it.

Tohma's demeanor stiffened. He knew exactly who it was she was referring to. "Thank you, Nana. I'll be there momentarily." It was a trial to speak normally as if this was routine, even though it was anything but.

"Sir." With that, she exited the conference room, shutting the door behind her.

"What was that all about Seguchi?" asked someone from his left.

Tohma did not ignore him on purpose. His mind was elsewhere. It was already upstairs in his office.

Pushing his chair back, he stood up. "Gentlemen, if you'd excuse me, I must take this. Why don't we take a little break and continue this in say…half an hour?" Without waiting for a reply, he hurried out of the conference room. Raised voices followed him out.

Deciding it would be quicker to take the stairs rather than the elevator, Tohma raced up the five flights to his executive suite while trying to look as if he wasn't hurrying. He had no idea if he'd pulled it off. Part of him did not care either way. Some things were more important than modesty, decorum and what people thought when they saw the lead keyboardist for one of the nation's hottest bands and the CEO of a record label that had become more of a household name than Google racing through the halls like a lunatic. This would be one of them.

He burst into his office and snatched up the phone. "Tell me you found her," he demanded without any preamble.

"We just received a tip from someone who says she may be hiding out in Honshu."

Tohma frowned. "Honshu?"

"Apparently, Mrs. Usami and her brother inherited ten acres of land five years ago when their childless aunt died. The old family homestead burned down seventy-five years ago when lightening struck the house and instead of rebuilding, the family moved to Kyoto, but the land still remains in the family. I know the area. My cousin lives around there. There's nothing around for miles. It would be a perfect place to disappear."

Tohma didn't like it. If there was nothing there, not even the old family home, then why would Ayaka go there? Even if it was in the middle of nowhere, it was still land her family owned. It would be folly to think of it as a place to lay low, at least for more than a day or so, but it was a lead, which was more than they'd had half an hour ago. Despite the lack of it being the ideal location to disappear when you had the entirety of Japan-and most assuredly several nations outside of Japan-after you, Tohma was hoping Ayaka Usami was just that moronic. "Thank you Sergeant."

oOo

That Afternoon - Aizawa Residence - Kyoto, Japan

The anniversary of their son's tragic accident came and went and the Aizawas had been forced since to accept, thanks to a DNA paternity test, that Little Takanori was not their grandson. The news had been beyond devastating. It had been like reliving the loss of their son all over again. A wound that was not fully healed was easily reopened, but a phone call from a woman who claimed to have dated their son for a short time six years ago changed everything.

Oharu glanced down at the five year old who was skipping along besides her and singing softly a song she did not recognize. She tightened her grip on the small hand within hers. Raising her gaze, she smiled at her husband who was holding the girl's other hand. Tears misted her vision.

"Can we get ice cream Grandma?"

Blinking back her tears, Oharu smiled down at her granddaughter. "But of course!"

"You spoil her too much Grandma." Though Masato scolded his wife, his tone was light. There was a twinkle in his eye.

"Well that's what Grandmas are for," she said haughtily. "Right Mizuna?"

"Right," the five year old agreed.

"Well," Masato sighed heavily, "it looks like I've been outvoted."

Mizuna freed her hands from her grandparents grasps and tossing her hands into the air, began jumping around and cheering loudly.

Masato and Oharu laughed at her antics.

Little Takanori had looked nothing like their son. At times, Oharu had found herself questioning whether he was even an Aizawa. Of course as that had been kin to sacrilege, she'd quickly shaken those negatives thoughts aside. So what, she'd scold herself, if he looked nothing like her son. It doesn't mean anything. You need not be a clone to be related to someone. She and her sisters looked nothing alike. It always took people by surprise when she told them that they were indeed siblings. Her younger half-sister looked more like her oldest sister than her older sister looked like her.

Now she knew she should have listened to those nagging doubts.

This time, it was different. Mizuna was the spitting image of their son. Their resemblance was such that at times, it forced her to relive the moment three years ago when she found a police officer at her doorstep, but she would not have it any other way. For with this child, their son had been reborn.

II

Honshu

It may have taken a month and a tip from one of Tohma's contacts within the Tokyo police, but K was finally able to track down the target. It wouldn't have taken as long as it had if he would have considered the possibility that the target would not only still be driving around Japan in the same car she used to plow down Mrs. Shindou, but had decided to hide out in such an obvious of places. He had actually come across mention of this parcel of abandoned land awhile back, but had dismissed it as a ludicrous possibility.

"I take it back. She's not as smart or cunning as I first thought she was," K said.

You would think someone who was wanted by the authorities regarding the vehicular murder of a fifty-year-old homemaker-and not just any ordinary homemaker at that, but the mother to Shuichi Shindou and Ryuichi Sakuma, two of the hottest singers in Japan-would have dumped the car somewhere along the line.

Oh, well.

He was not about to start complaining now.

Lying among the waist high grass on top of a hill under a dead tree better suited to a haunted house than the countryside, K peered through the scope of his M-24 down at the target in the valley below as she paced around the damaged Toyota, biting her nails.

The target appeared to be apprehensive-scared. That was when they were the most dangerous.

"Target is in sight, sir," K breathed into his Bluetooth headset. "Should I take the shot?"

oOo

NG Executive Office - Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo

Sitting back, Tohma rested his elbows on the arms of his chair and lacing his fingers together, rested his steepled forefingers against his lips. There was no doubt about it. Ayaka Usami had to die. She deserved to after everything she put his family through. But was acting on his need for revenge worth it? Of course it would be. But would it not be better to bring her in? Let justice do its thing? But what if she was acquitted? Or got a reduced sentence? What if she was found to be mentally unfit to stand trial and was remanded to some state facility somewhere until she was medicated back to health? The bitch would be back on the streets a free woman instead of rotting in prison for the rest of her life. On the other hand, if he gave K the go ahead, which he was leaning towards doing, then wouldn't the truth go with her?

oOo

Honshu

His finger twitching restlessly over the trigger, K watched the target through the scope mounted to his M-24 with a frown. "Just what are you up to?" he whispered as the target pulled a cellphone out from a hidden pocket in her skirt. "Who are you calling?"

oOo

La Verde Café - Setagaya, Tokyo

Nami Mataguchi was not sure she would ever change her opinion of neutrals, but learning to let go of her bigotry, to be more tolerant and open-minded, to love her neighbors, to do unto others as she would have them do unto her and to drop the fistful of stones was helping to bring her closer to God. It was helping her become an even better Christian. After all, it was her mother-who had desired to become a nun when she was a child, but had been talked out of it by her parents-who taught her that God was an unbiased God. She told her that there was one alone who was allowed to judge the actions of man and that was God. God loved everyone equally, including those who man found to be undesirable.

"Live by Jesus' example," her mother told her on the day of her confirmation and that was exactly what Nami was determined to do. Jesus had accepted everyone into His fold, including a prostitute. Who was she to turn her back to someone He would have welcomed with open arms?

She did not want to have to try to explain to God on Judgment day about the hate that filled her heart.

"Is that your phone?" asked her male companion.

"Huh?" Nami cocked her head and listened and sure enough, she heard it, a soft buzzing sound. "Oh!" She pulled her clutch into her lap and dug out her phone. As it continued to vibrate in her hand, she glanced at the name on the display screen. With only the slightest hesitation, she pressed ignore and tossed her phone back into her purse.

"Who was it?"

Nami shrugged as she reached for her condensation-coated glass. "Wrong number." She took a sip of her water before continuing. "So, Chishin, what did you do with that Artifact I sent you?" she asked just as their server arrived with their meals. Her mouth started watering at the aroma.

As her old friend started telling her about having framed the bone fragment in a shadow box and keeping it in his office for the time being until the shrine his employees had voted on creating for it in the lobby was completed, Nami could not stop from grinning.

This was nice. Yes, she definitely made the right choice.

oOo

Honshu

Ayaka was pissed. Fuming, she pressed redial. Nobody hangs up on her. Nobody! Holding the phone to her ear, she hugged her other arm around her waist and tapped her foot impatiently.

As she listened to the line ring, she gazed around nonchalant.

How she despised the country, almost as much as she hated a certain singer. She sneered at the memory. Damn him and damn that meddling mother of his! If the woman weren't already dead, she'd kill her. In fact, she'd run her down then back up over her just for good measure. Then she'd run her over once more just because she could.

A glint on the hill caught her attention. Curious, she pushed away from the car and lowering the phone, took several steps forward and squinted. What was that?

oOo

K cursed softly as he and the target locked gazes. "Sir? Should I take the shot?" It was now or never.

oOo

NG Executive Offices - Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo

Tohma heard the urgency in K's voice.

Dropping his hands, he spun the chair around and gazed out the window at the city spread out before him.

He felt for the Usamis. He really did. It was never easy to lose a child, but he was not about to take the chance that Ayaka would get away with what she did.

"Do it."

oOo

Honshu

"Yes sir." K could not quite hide the eagerness from his voice.

With his finger hovering over the trigger, he watched the target through the scope as she carefully made her way up the hill towards him. Bringing her into the crosshairs, he took a deep breath, held it and counted to ten. He exhaled slowly. Quietness washed over him. There were no thoughts, no emotions. He had no conscience. He felt no guilt. There was nothing. The world narrowed down to just him and the target. It was time.

He pulled the trigger.

Through the scope, he watched as the target's head snapped back, her body jerked and tensed before crumbling to the ground.

K smirked.

Rising to his feet, he shouldered his rifle and made his way down the hill. He knelt besides the target and felt for a pulse. There was none.

"Mission completed," he relayed as he sat back on his heels. "Target destroyed."

oOo

That Evening - Usami Residence - Kyoto

Sometimes Lieutenant Asaga really hated his job. "Should've been a dentist," he grumbled as he stood before the closed gates of the Usami residence. His father had wanted him to be a dentist. Take over the business after he retired in order to keep it in the family. Right about now, he was really regretting his decision to become a cop. He wondered if it was too late to change careers.

He pushed through the gates, flinching as they squeaked loudly in protest.

Taking a breath, he steeled himself and started up the walk to the front door. With each step he took, the knot of dread in his stomach grew. Was it cowardice to pray that nobody would be at home?

He was climbing the porch stairs when there was a sound of a chain sliding across the door.

"Damn," he muttered.

Several moments later, the front door opened and a woman appeared. She was pale, had dark circles and bags under her eyes. Her hair was unkempt and was beginning to show signs of gray. A white blouse was tucked haphazardly into a long brown skirt. Both hung loosely around her skinny frame, as if she'd recently lost a tremendous amount of weight and had yet to buy new clothes.

"Mrs. Usami?" he inquired cautiously.

The woman didn't answer. She just continued watching him with that blank stare.

"Ma'am?" Concern for an already distraught mother welled within him, but he forged ahead. "Ma'am, I'm Lieu-"

With a whimper, the woman collapsed to the floor at his feet.

"Ma'am!" Lieutenant Asaga rushed to the woman's side thinking: yes, sometimes he really hated his job.

oOo

Night - Shindou-Uesugi Residence - Koishikawa Park Tower - Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo, Japan

With his husband at his side, Shuichi strolled across the silent parking lot to their building. There was the distant rumble of traffic and the occasional vehicle that whizzed by on the street. Somewhere, a dog bayed.

Stopping in the middle of the lot, Shuichi dropped his head back and gazed up the modern building they resided in. With a hand on his pregnancy-swollen belly, a nostalgic smile graced his tired face.

It was good to be home.

Though they were gone for only a month, it felt more like ages, which, now that he thought about it, was strange, especially considering that he was gone longer when Bad Luck went on tour a little over a year ago. It hadn't felt like this then, but that might have something to do with the differing reasons for his absence. You can't exactly claim that time was flying by because you were having so much fun at a funeral.

Shuichi shook the gloomy thoughts aside and jogged to catch up to Eiri who either hadn't realized he'd stopped or didn't care that he had. The latter sounded more plausible.

He smiled at his son who was sound asleep in his daddy's arms. Little Takanori's mouth was hanging open and a little wet spot was forming on Eiri's sleeve. "What about the bags?" he inquired with a soft snicker. He brushed his fingers lightly through little Takanori's silky black locks.

"I'll get them in the morning."

Shuichi nodded around a sudden yawn. Good thinking. He was half-asleep on his feet as it was.

Right here in front of this very building a month ago his world had been turned inside out and flipped upside down. The woman whom had raised him and loved him to the best of her ability had been a victim of a hit and run. He could not classify it as an accident because it had not been accidental. It'd been a deliberate act of violence.

As they passed within meters of the spot where his mother had pushed him out of the path of the car, he kept his gaze averted, but the desire too look was nearly overwhelming.

They hadn't been able to find a pulse at first, but by the time the EMTs arrived, his mother had one. It'd been faint, but there. The doctors at Seiryu, where they'd taken her, managed to stabilize her long enough for his father and Maiko to arrive from Kyoto. Half an hour later, she flat lined. At least they'd all been able to say good-bye.

"I have my people on it, Eiri. We will find her," he'd overheard Tohma telling Eiri at the hospital last month. "She won't be able to get far with all of Japan looking for her. Don't worry."

Tohma had better keep his word because Shuichi hadn't forgotten his promise. He would hunt the bitch down himself and make her regret the day she ever heard the name Shuichi Shindou.

"How're my kids?"

Shuichi shook off the murderous thoughts. "Sleeping." Thankfully. They were pretty active for much of the drive home. "I'm tired and hungry, but glad to be home though. Thanks for asking!"

The sarcasm had Eiri rolling his eyes. "Baka."

Shuichi stuck out his tongue, which Eiri took quick advantage of. He leaned over and nipped it lightly, causing Shuichi to blush a nice shade of red. Eiri chuckled.

As Eiri's hand were currently full of sleeping toddler, Shuichi held open the door, making a big sweeping gesture as Eiri stepped into the lobby. Eiri snorted as his overly dramatic behavior. Shuichi followed him inside. They crossed the deserted lobby to the elevator. Shuichi pressed the call button.

A voice called out to them just as a ping sounded and the elevator doors slid open.

Shuichi glanced over his shoulder. A woman who looked vaguely familiar but whose name he could not remember was walking towards them.

"I believe this is yours," she said handing over a white envelope. "Someone put it in my mailbox by mistake weeks ago. I've meaning to give it to you, but with everything that happened…" Her voice trailed off.

Shuichi swallowed passed the lump in his throat and pasted a smile on his face. It wasn't entirely fake. "Thanks."

The woman bowed and slid into the elevator just as the doors were closing.

"What is it?" Eiri asked.

"Don't know," Shuichi said. He turned the envelope over. Other than his name on the front, there was no other writing on the envelope, not even a return address, stamp or postmark. Whoever it was from must have hand delivered it.

Eiri frowned down at the unobtrusive white envelope.

Deciding to deal with it later, Shuichi shrugged and stuffed it into his back pocket. He pressed the call button and when the elevator arrived, stepped into the car with his husband and son right behind him.

The ride was short and uneventful. They did not meet anybody else either getting on or off. That was not unusual given the late hour.

Digging out his keys, Shuichi unlocked the door to their place. He stepped aside and allowed Eiri to enter the condominium before him. Then he stepped inside and shut and locked the door behind him. He groped the wall for the light switch. A moment later, the front hall was flooded with soft light.

Eiri had already toed off his shoes-how he did this without jostling little Takanori enough to wake him, Shuichi had no idea-and was already making his way through the house to put their son to bed.

Shuichi slid off his own slip-on sneakers and squatted down to pick up both his and Eiri's shoes in order to place them in the shoe closet. He did not want to hear Eiri bitching later about tripping all over the shoes that had been left out haphazardly. Something in his pocket crinkled as he moved. Standing back up with his shoes in hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the envelope that woman had given him down in the lobby. Clamping it in his teeth, he picked up Eiri's shoes in his other hand and used his foot to slid open the closet. He set the shoes in their appropriate places and stepped out. With the envelope in hand, he was about to shut the closet door when footsteps sounded behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at his husband.

"Here."

Shuichi took his son's shoes and set them besides his own.

"Want some tea or something?" Eiri asked as he went into the kitchen.

As his stomach has felt like it was in the middle of imploding and has for sometime now, Shuichi was not surprised when his stomach gave a loud growl.

Eiri chuckled. "Guess so. What you in the mood for?" He peered into the fridge. There wasn't much to choose from given they'd been gone for a month. They would have to go shopping in the morning.

Shuichi shrugged as he pulled out a chair at the dining table and sat down. "Surprise me."

"Gotcha."

As banging and clanking emanated from the kitchen, Shuichi turned his attention to the envelope. Curious, he tore it open and pulled out what at first he thought was a piece of paper, but on closer inspection, it turned out to be a torn section of a white placemat. It actually looked like the ones from the restaurant down the street. Little Takanori loved them and so did he and Eiri-Eiri because he said it kept mealtimes quiet and Shuichi because some of his best songs were scribbled on the backs of them.

Shuichi carefully unfolded the placemat. There was writing on it. It looked like a letter of some sort. He flipped the makeshift paper over, looking for a signature. When he found it, his vision grew misty with the blurred sting of tears. His throat ached. It was from his mother. He slapped a trembling hand over his mouth to stifle the sobs.

How…? When had she…?

Clearing his throat, he dropped his hand and turned the letter over. Pushing back his tears, he started to read his mother's last words. He hadn't even read passed the first line when a wave of sorrow, guilt and even contentedness washed over him.

oOo

With two bowls of ramen, which was the one thing edible in the house, Eiri made his way to the dining room. He frowned as he drew closer. The sound of stifled sobs grew louder. "Baby?" he called softly. Setting the bowls down on the table, he turned towards Shuichi.

Shuichi turned a tearstained face towards him. He held out the letter. "From Mom," he said with a tiny smile.

"What?" Gobsmacked, Eiri snatched it. From his mother-in-law? But how was that possible? Out of all of the possibilities of what the envelope could have contained, a handwritten note from Shuichi's mother had not been among them. She obviously wrote it before she died, but when? How? Why had she even been here? There were so many unanswered questions floating around his head.

He scanned the letter.

"Shuichi," it began, "Who knew writing a simple letter would be so difficult? But I guess it's the contents of the letter and not the letter itself that makes this seem like an impossible mission. There's a part of me that's saying to just give it up and go back home. What's the point? Not like you'll actually read this once you realize who it's from. I wouldn't blame you. I'd be more surprised if you did.

"I've lost count of how many times I started to write to you over the years but gave up because even though there's so much I want to say, so much that needs to be said, I can't find the words. How I envy Mr. Yuki's skill and talent right now. He makes this look so easy!

"As I write this, I'm in Akamatsu. As I used all the paper I had on me on the numerous failed drafts I've attempted in the last hour or so that I've been here, I've taken to using one of their placemats. I can see your place from my chair. They say you eat here all the time. I'm wondering if there's even the slightest possibility of you stopping by while I'm here.

"Or what if you pass by on your way home?

"I wish I could say I'd call out to you, but I'm nothing but a coward. I'm actually relieved that you weren't home when I stopped by. This way, I can say what I want to say, what I need to say, without fear of having the door slammed in my face before I can say my piece or me losing my courage.

"I didn't set out this morning to come see you to beg for your forgiveness because I know I don't deserve it. I just wanted to say that I love you and that I'm proud of you. I was honored to be your mother. I just wish I had been a better one.

"All I can do is apologize and hope that some day, you'll be able to forgive me enough for us to at least be cordial to one another."

It wasn't until a gentle finger brushed at his face did Eiri realize that he'd been crying. He scrubbed his wet face with his free hand just as the house phone started ringing. Handing Shuichi back his letter, he went to answer the phone.

Shuichi may not have said anything, but Eiri knew that his husband was feeling guilty over not having at least tried to make amends with his mother before her death. That her life had been cut short by a psychotic madwoman and any number of chances he would have had to make amends had been forcibly taken away from both mother and son did nothing to alleviate the guilt.

At least now, with this letter, Shuichi can finally start to heal.

With tears in his eyes, Shuichi reread the letter again and again. Each time, he lovingly ran a finger over the final two lines in the letter.

"I love you. Always.

"Mom."

His stomach gave a particularly loud growl. "Okay. Okay," he laughed. He sniffed and wiped at his wet face. Folding the letter, he held it to his heart and retook his seat at the table. Taking one of the still steaming bowls-the one with the most ramen-and grabbed a pair of chopsticks from the container in the middle of the table. Prying them apart, he muttered, "Itadakimasu," before he dug into the noodles ravenously, still clutching his mother's letter.

oOo

"…Are you sure?" Eiri spoke softly into the phone. He paced to the archway that separated the kitchen from the dining room and glanced at his husband who was sitting with his feet folded under him. A pair of pale wood chopsticks was clutched in one hand against the side of the black lacquered bowl that he was now sipping the broth out of. The other hand had a death grip on the letter. He had a feeling Shuichi was not going to let the letter out of his sight anytime soon.

"Quite."

Relief flooded through Eiri, making his knees weak. He sagged back against the wall. If he were to be honest, there was part of him that was angry that he hadn't been able to get a crack at Ayaka Usami. "How-?"

"Self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head."

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. "And the police are going to buy that?" he asked his brother-in-law skeptically. He knew he sure didn't.

"Of course."

Eiri snorted. "You do realize that most people who shoot themselves put the gun in their mouth."

"Yes, well, Ms. Usami was not most people, Eiri."

You can say that again.

As long as she was not going to pull an "in actuality, who you killed was my evil twin sister and now I'm going to take my revenge because you took my beloved sister away from me despite the fact that she was a psychotic bitch and deserved what she got" like this was some second rate soap opera or a "back from the grave" stunt like from some crap horror sequel that never should have been made, then what did it matter either way? Dead was dead. The details mattered little.

"Thanks." There was no way he would ever be able to properly thank his brother-in-law for everything he did for his family.

"My pleasure, Eiri."

oOo

Shuichi was eying his husband's rapidly cooling bowl of ramen-he was still starving-when a knock sounded at the door.

"Shu?" Eiri called from the kitchen.

"Yeah," Shuichi called back. He pushed the chair back and jumped to his feet. Humming Fefe Dobson, he made his way to the front door.

"Check to see who it is," he heard Eiri call after him.

Shuichi rolled his eyes.

"Saw that."

Huffing a laugh, Shuichi decided to do as Eiri "suggested".

Seeing as whoever constructed the peephole had a misguided notion that every single person on the planet was over six feet tall, he had to stand up on his tiptoes to use said peephole in order to see who was at the door this late in the evening. He was taken back by who he saw on the other side of the door. Sliding back the chain and turning the deadbolt, Shuichi threw open the door. "Ryu."

"Hey," Ryuichi greeted with a halfhearted smile.

Shuichi stepped aside and waved the older man inside. "What're you doing here? Did something happen?" They just saw one another not to long ago in Kyoto. In fact, Ryuichi was still there when he and Eiri left.

Ryuichi started to shake his head then rethought his answer and nodded. "Actually yes," he corrected as he stepped into the condominium and took off his shoes.

Worry enveloped Shuichi as he shut and locked the door behind the older man.

Ryuichi turned around to face him. "We need to talk."

"What about?" Shuichi asked as he led Ryuichi into the living room.

"Where's little Takanori?"

"Bed."

Ryuichi nodded. Good.

He caught sight of Eiri leaning against the kitchen doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. The man inclined his head in greeting, but otherwise said nothing.

Ryuichi patted his suit jacket to make sure the DVD was still in the inner pocket. It was. While he'd been in Kyoto for his mother's funeral, he'd gone to a chain drugstore near his parents' house and had the old VHS tape with that short snippet of an hours old Shuichi converted to DVD, including Yuki's message for their son at the end. Surprisingly, it hadn't been all that expensive. Even if it had, it wouldn't have fazed him.

Ironically, it'd been the death of his mother and not Eiri's threats that had pushed Ryuichi into finally making up his mind to tell his son the truth. Life was too short. You never knew what tomorrow would bring. He already had so many regrets and he did not want to add to them.

It was time to come clean.

"This…It-it's…It's something I should have, something I should have told you a long time ago." Ryuichi could not seem to get his tongue and brain to work properly.

Shuichi froze as he was lowering himself down into one of the armchairs.

His mind flashed to the papers he'd discovered years ago in the back of his brother's closet.

It all started when he and Morihiro Shindou got into a fight when he asked him to buy him a keyboard. He'd been playing the piano since before he could walk thanks to Tohma and Noriko and much to the chagrin of Morihiro. For his seventh birthday, Tohma had given him his old keyboard, but two years later, it broke and he'd wanted a new one. Morihiro told him that he was finished playing pretend.

"It's time to grow up and think about the future. Music isn't going to pay the bills and put food on the table," was what he told him.

In protest, Shuichi ended up storming out of the house. Nobody had come looking for him.

He'd ended up at Ryuichi's place.

Since Ryuichi had been out on tour with the rest of Nittle Grasper and Tatsuha had gone with him, he'd had the place to himself. Ryuichi had given him carte blanch to do as he pleased, as long as he didn't burn the place down and cleaned up after himself that is. It was a teenager's dream come true. Until five hours later when that dream turned into a nightmare.

He'd been absolutely bored out of his mind and went to see what he could "borrow" from his brother. Buried at the back of Ryuichi's closet, he'd found an old shoebox. He'd ignored that little voice that was telling him to leave it alone and pulled it out. Once he'd lifted the lid, he'd wished he'd listened to that little voice because that was when he discovered his big brother's secret.

Shuichi lowered himself down in the armchair slowly.

His relationship with Ryuichi changed dramatically after that.

At first, Shuichi hadn't believed any of it, but it quickly became obvious that whether he believed it or not, the truth was glaring him in the face. Suddenly everything made sense. But he hadn't welcomed the discovery. Nobody in his position would. His whole life had been nothing but a lie. He grew despondent and angry and avoided Ryuichi as much as he could after that. He'd wanted nothing further to do with him. This hurt Ryuichi greatly. It broke Ryuichi's heart, thinking it was because he was away so much that Shuichi had grown to despise him. Shuichi had been well aware of how his change in attitude had affected his "big brother", but at the time, he hadn't cared. He'd felt that Ryuichi deserved it.

Perched on the edge of the sofa, Ryuichi studied his hands clasped between his knees. His heart was hammering and his pulse was racing. He felt sick to his stomach. "Shu….Shuichi, I-"

"I know," Shuichi interrupted.

Frowning, Eiri dropped his arms and pushed away from the wall. He…knew?

Ryuichi's head snapped up and around. "What?"

Shuichi smiled at the older singer. "I know," he repeated. "And…it's okay." He'd made peace with the knowledge that he was not Shuichi Shindou but was in fact Shuichi Sakuma. That his biological parents were not Mai and Morihiro Shindou, but were Ryuichi Sakuma and Yuki Kitazawa. Ironically, it was when he discovered he was pregnant with little Takanori that everything changed. Suddenly, he understood.

"Shu?"

That wasn't to say that he'd be calling Ryuichi "father" or "dad" or anything like that anytime soon. If ever.

There were still some aspects of this whole Jerry Springer ensemble that needed to be clarified though. "Why don't you just start from the beginning and we can go from there?"

With tears in his eyes, Ryuichi glanced at his son to his son-in-law who had come to stand behind his husband.

Eiri gave Ryuichi a nod.

Ryuichi took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "It all started in New York City almost twenty years ago…"

oOo

Mataguchi Residence - Avan Minami-Aoyama Manor - Tokyo

"We have late breaking news this evening out of Honshu," reported a young blond woman. "Earlier this afternoon, police found the body of nineteen year old Ayaka Usami of Kyoto dead from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. Ms. Usami had been wanted for questioning in regards to the hit and run accident that killed the mother to singers Ryuichi Sakuma and Shuichi Shindou last month in Chiyoda. Evidence gathered at the scene is leading investigators to believe that she may have been behind the wheel of the car when it struck and killed the forty-nine year old homemaker. A spokesperson for the singers had no comment for us this evening other than to say that Sakuma and Shindou will be releasing a statement in the morning."

The wine glass halted its upward movement to Nami's mouth.

This…This wasn't…Oh God!

As tears filled her eyes and her throat began to ache, the wine glass slipped from her trembling fingers and shattered on the wooden floors. The red liquid coated everything in its path. She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed quietly for her friend.

oOo

Ryugan Temple - Usami Residence - Kyoto

Masahiro could be found in the same place every day, kneeling on the hard tatami floor of his temple before the altar praying. The burning incense mingling with the floral scent of the flowers soothed his fears, but today was different. Their once calming effect churned his stomach. They could do nothing to alleviate the emptiness within him. And the tears. He could not stop them from falling.

It was his fault.

His fault.

All his fault.

His heart wrenching sobs filled the silence of the temple.

His fault.

All his fault.

Sorrow like he never felt before was attempting to swallow him whole. He gladly welcomed it with open arms, embraced it like an old friend. It was slowly taking over his heart and soul, his thoughts and his actions.

All he wanted was to crawl into bed and never crawl back out, to fall into the blissful peace of sleep and never waken.

Why? God, please, tell me why? Why?

Earlier this afternoon, his whole world had crumbled and died.

Like after the Apocalypse, nothing was ever going to be the same again. Never ever again. He would never hear his daughter's infectious laughter or see her beautiful smile. She would never come into the temple and change out the flowers with fresh ones, never see how proud she was of her garden. She would never sneak up behind him and stick the incense she bought under his nose, making him choke on their pungent scent. He would never come home again to find her sprawled out somewhere in the house or even in the yard with her nose in the book. He would never eat her wonderfully prepared meals-she could have been a chef. He would never…She would never…

Why would God take his only reason for living away from him? Why?

Masahiro crumbled, just as his world had, onto the tatami floor, sobbing for what had been and what would never be again.

oOo

Oharu, Masahiro's wife and the mother to his only child sat in the recliner in the darkened living room. None of the lights were on. All the shades and curtains in the house had been shut. Slowly, she rocked-back and forth, over and over again-as she stared blankly at the wall.

III

Eighteen Weeks Later - Sakuma-Uesugi Residence - Koishikawa Park Tower - Chiyoda-ku, Tokyo, Japan

At only thirty-two weeks into his pregnancy, Shuichi went into labor. He'd finally fallen asleep after tossing and turning and bitching and moaning-and just plain driving Eiri insane-for hours about how uncomfortable he was when he was jolted back into consciousness.

It was time.

As was procedure for male neutrals, instead of having a natural birth, which was rarely done, he underwent a cesarean. At half past eleven at night on November 15, Kita Yoshihara Uesugi came into the world. A minute later, his twin sister Kaya Tsukiko Uesugi followed.

Shuichi and Eiri considered themselves extremely lucky. At eight weeks premature, their twins were a little underweight, weighing four pounds even, but were otherwise healthy. A woman hours before had given birth to a baby girl, her first child, who was so premature that the newborn weighed only a pound. The outlook did not look good for her.

The Uesugi twins spent their first week of life in NICU putting on some weight-Kita gained two pounds and his sister one-under the careful, watchful eye of the staff. When their doctor was satisfied, they were released into the waiting arms of their eager family.

Home for a week and the twins have had visits from Grandpa Ryu and Uncle Tatsuha, Uncle Tohma and Aunt Mika, Aunt Noriko, Uncle Kizou and now from Aunt Maiko.

"Here you go."

Maiko took the proffered brown lacquered teacup. "Thanks."

"You just missed Sakuma and the others," Eiri said as he took a seat in the armchair with his own cup of tea.

"Hm." Maiko took a sip of her tea. She relished the feel of the warm liquid sliding down her throat. "Figured. I'm staying with him for the next couple of weeks."

"Does he know?"

"Nope."

Eiri laughed full out. "Runaway from home or something?" he teased.

"Something like that," Maiko laughed.

She'd taken the train from Kyoto this morning. Under normal circumstances, I.e. if she wasn't preggers, she could have easily walked the distance from the train station to Ryuichi's seeing it was less than a mile away, but since it was wasn't "normal circumstances", she called a taxi. Unfortunately, when she arrived at her brother's place, he wasn't home, so instead of waiting around who knows how long, she hoped on a bus and here she was. Maybe she should have called Ryuichi before she left that morning.

Oh, well.

"Actually, my father left this morning on a business trip. I could've gone with him, but because it's so close to my due date, I told him I'd just come stay with Ryu." She shrugged.

Eiri nodded. "Seems pretty sudden."

"Yeah," Maiko agreed. "Actually, someone else was supposed to go but something happened and he couldn't go so they sent my father who was supposed to be on leave what with my due date coming and everything." She shrugged again as she took another sip of her tea.

"What about that…" Eiri ransacked his mind for the name of the guy who'd been stupid enough to fuck and dump the baby sister of Ryuichi Sakuma-the dude was lucky Tohma Seguchi hadn't been sicced on him.

"Horigami?"

Was that his name? "Yeah him."

Maiko shrugged. "Who knows? Who cares?"

Eiri smirked.

"The guy's a complete douche bag."

Eiri could not agree more.

"But," Maiko sighed. "He is the father of my child. Unfortunately," she muttered. "So when I go into labor he'll be contacted." Eventually, she added.

"So you're giving him visitation rights?"

"I suppose, but that's all."

It was more than he deserved, Eiri though.

Maiko's face fell. She stared down at the dark liquid in her cup that was sandwiched between her hands. "How are they? Shu and Ryu I mean?"

"Good," Eiri replied with a gentle smile and without any hesitation.

Maiko lifted her head.

"Surprisingly," Eiri continued. Or maybe not so much seeing Shuichi had known the truth for eight years. Shuichi had had time to vent his anger and frustration at being lied to and manipulated. In that time, Shuichi had grown up, gotten over his childish hurts, and realized that the world was not black and white. There were worlds of gray. He'd grown to understand why his birth parents had done what they did. "He isn't going to be calling Sakuma 'Father' anytime soon, but…" Eiri heaved a light sigh. "They're closer then they've been in all the time I've known them."

"Think they'll come out?"

Eiri had to shrug. Because both Shuichi and Ryuichi were constantly in the public eye-if they fart it makes the front page of some tabloid-it would eventually come out. Somehow, someway it would. That was a guarantee. For people like them, nothing stayed secret for very long, especially when you had someone like Perez Hilton who stuck his overtly large ass into other peoples business. "When they're ready maybe."

Dipping her head, Maiko shrugged, lost in the almost invisible ripples on the surface of her tea. "It wasn't much of a surprise actually when I heard. I mean, think about it, about Shu and Ryu's history. Ryu has always been more of a father to Shu than Father has. When I was little, I remember thinking that Ryu was Shu's father because he treated him like his son and not as his little brother. My parents said he wasn't though when I asked. Guess I was right," she laughed. "I was happy when I heard that Ryu and Tatsuha had adopted him-hurt and angry and miserable for a time when I learned he'd left without saying goodbye or anything, but happy." She raised her head and gazed across the coffee table at Eiri. "Then there's you. He changed after he met you," she said. "He was happy. He smiled more." Maiko smiled. "Thank you, Eiri."

His face burning in embarrassment, Eiri did the only thing he could: he inclined his head.

A look of confusion passed over her face. "I heard something about them going to Yowa Hospital or something?"

"Ah yes. They were talking about it the other day."

"What's there?"

"Yuki."

"You mean-"

"Shu's birth mother."

"Are you going to let him go?"

Eiri heaved a sigh. "Not sure. If he wants to go, then nothing I say or do will stop him. He definitely has the right to visit him, get to know him, but…I don't know. If he wants to I'll support him."

"If he doesn't?"

"I'll support him."

Maiko nodded. "Speaking of which, where're my nephews and my niece?"

"Sleeping." Thank God.

Maiko raised an eyebrow. "All of them?"

Eiri nodded. "Every single one."

"Must be nice to finally have some peace and quiet."

"You have no idea."

Maiko laughed.

oOo

Shuichi was not sure what had caused him to wake.

By the silence that greeted him as he stirred, it appeared as if the children were still asleep. Thank Buddha for small favors. If any of his children were awake, it wouldn't be a secret, at least not for very long. Little Takanori was a little Tasmanian devil who left terror and destruction in his wake. Unfortunately, he was a little too much like his mama: an excitable ball of energy who just could not sit still if his life depended on it. Doing so would undoubtedly put him into a coma. As rambunctious as his hyperactive son was, the twins appeared to be sound sleepers just like Eiri. No matter how loud little Takanori was on his makeshift drums, Kita and Kaya slept on. But once the twins were wake, all hell broke loose.

"They definitely take after their Mother," Eiri had noted more than once.

Oh, boy did they. He had a feeling that the family business would live on.

Thankfully, though, with all three of his children asleep, he could get some rest as well.

While their children were asleep, Eiri was up though. He could hear his muffled voice coming from the living room. It wasn't loud enough to have woken him though.

"Wonder who he's talking to?" Shuichi mumbled around a yawn as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He flipped onto his back and stretched, wincing as doing so pulled at the scar on his belly. "Probably Tohma," he answered himself. They were supposed to have dinner with the Seguchis later that night. He was hoping to learn the gender of their baby. Mika had a doctor's appointment that afternoon and was hoping for a girl.

"Men are idiots," was what she said when she'd come to visit him in the hospital.

"Excluding me, right Dear?" Tohma had hoped.

"Including you," Mika had snapped right back.

Shuichi snickered at the memory.

Sighing contently, if not a little sleepily, Shuichi pushed the blankets back and sat up. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he sat there, gripping the edge of the mattress and watching his feet swinging inches above the floor. He turned his head and caught sight of the DVD sitting on top of the dresser.

Standing up, he went to the dresser and picked up the CD case. He stared down at the reflective surface of the gold disk within. "Shuichi: One Day Old" was printed in black marker on the disk. Opening the case, he carefully lifted out the DVD and put it into the DVD player that was built into the side of their flat screen television mounted on the wall.

Rounding the bed to Eiri's side, he grabbed the remote from the nightstand and pushed play, remembering afterwards to actually turn on the television.

With the remote cradled in his lap, Shuichi perched on the bed with a leg tucked underneath him.

The screen flickered and an image of a man with familiar violet eyes and black hair that tickled the collar of his hospital gown sitting on a hospital bed appeared.

Yuki Kitazawa. His mother.

Except for the hair and eyes, they looked nothing alike.

"Thank God," he'd heard Ryuichi mumble to that.

"Hello my son," Yuki was saying to the camera.

Shuichi leaned his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands under his chin, watched the screen intently.

"Knowing the history between me and your daddy, I doubt you know who I am." Yuki took a deep breath. "I am Yuki Kitazawa. Your mother."

When Shuichi discovered his birth certificate all those years ago buried in the back of Ryuichi's closet, it hadn't entered his mind that his birth mother was anything other than a woman. As a neutral himself, he should have considered the possibility. The name Yuki was a gender-neutral name after all. To say it had been a shock to learn that Yuki Kitazawa was not a woman but was in fact a neutral would be an understatement. He was still trying to wrap his mind around it. What was so shocking about it, he could not say. It just was. At least he and Eiri had something in common now other than their children.

"I named you Shuichi Karishma Sakuma."

It was still odd to hear his real name. Of course, he planned to keep the name Shuichi Shindou as his stage name, but all his records had already been changed to reflect the name he had been given at birth, the name he had retaken. When he'd told Ryuichi, the older man had burst into tears.

"Shuichi after your daddy."

Shuichi smiled. Ryuichi's middle name was Shu.

"Karishma after my mother."

Shuichi leaned closer.

"Ryu insisted his son have his last name though." Yuki rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face and the expression he wore when he spoke about Ryuichi contradicted the eye movement. "I agreed. After all, it was the least I could do to…make up for what I did." The last was spoken in such a soft tone that Shuichi had a hard time hearing what was said.

Shuichi dipped his head and plucked the blanket. He wasn't sure he would ever be able to forgive Yuki for everything he did.

From what Ryuichi told him, it had seemed as if Yuki had been obsessed with Ryuichi. Obsession was not love. It wasn't even about lust. It was about possessing-having ownership over a person and you can't own a person. They weren't a piece of luggage you could buy at the department store. They were living breathing human beings with thoughts, feelings and emotions of their own.

"If you're loved, you're loved. If you're not, you're not." He'd read that line in a yaoi manga years ago. It was something that his birth mother had apparently never been able to grasp.

But watching Yuki's face as he spoke about Ryuichi-he wasn't so sure if it was as clear-cut as that. Maybe, just maybe, Yuki really had been in love with Ryuichi. Maybe it hadn't been purely obsession. It could be that Ryuichi had been Yuki's first real love or maybe Yuki had never been in love with a man before and hadn't known how to handle it or the rejection that followed their one night together. It was clear that Yuki had wanted more than that one night and had refused to give up. Ryuichi on the other hand, couldn't give Yuki more than that even if he'd wanted to because he'd been under the thumb of the record company at the time. Under the old owners, L8r Records had been a dictatorship. The artists signed onto the label had no choice but to do as they were told. Otherwise, they would have been out of a job. It didn't help that Yuki and Ryuichi had never really talked. That couldn't have helped any either.

That was definitely one of the topics he planned to bring up when he and Ryuichi went to visit him next month.

"As you can probably tell, my mother wasn't Japanese, though she was Asian. Indian in fact. And I mean Indian as in from India."

Shuichi hadn't understood that significance until Ryuichi told him that Yuki was American and when Americans hear "Indian", they usually think of Native Americans.

"My father…My father was Japanese-American and a tyrannical man in both the business world as well as in…as well as at home."

Shuichi watched the expressions on his birth mother's face change. It was a dramatic transformation. From sweet to bitter.

Yuki had his hands clenched so tightly that it was difficult to distinguish between his arm and the admission bracelet he wore. It was a safe bet that Yuki did not like his father very much.

"He was an-alcoholic." Yuki was not looking into the camera anymore, but was gazing somewhere off screen. "There's not much to say about the man. He was as asshole who suffocated in his own vomit several years before I met your daddy," he explained. His voice was hard.

Shuichi snorted. Good riddance. That was one grandfather he could do without.

"But my mother was a good woman. I loved her so much!"

Shuichi felt tears prickling his own eyes as he watched his birth mother break down.

"But she passed away a couple of months ago," Yuki sobbed.

Shuichi sniffed.

"That's why I decided to give you her name…" Yuki cleared his throat and tried to push back his tears. It wasn't working. He stared into the camera once more. Shuichi saw that his face was wet and his jaw was trembling. "I want you know that I love you so very much Shuichi." A stray tear trickled down his cheek. "You…you take care of your daddy, alright?" His voice was tight.

With tears spilling down his own face, Shuichi found himself nodding.

Yuki looked at someone behind the camera and nodded. Just before the image blinked off, Yuki turned towards the camera and blew a kiss.

His hands trembling, Shuichi fumbled for the remote and pressed stop just as a knock sounded at the front door.

oOo

Chuckling, Eiri excused himself and carefully picked his way through the condominium to the foyer.

It was inevitable when one had children. No matter how much of a perfectionist you were, and he was one to the nth degree if there ever was one, there was a fairly good chance that when you married and had a family, your perfectionist ideals were tossed out the window.

His domicile, whether it was his room back at his parents' house or any number of apartments he had before he met Shuichi or even his current office, which was the only space in the entire condominium that he could truly call his, he liked everything to be in order at all times. All his DVDs, CDs, books, which included fiction, non-fiction, as well as reference material such as dictionaries and thesauruses, everything had its place and why not? Made it easier to find something you were looking for. Made the house look neat and ordered and as if you actually cared about your possessions. It also kept him from tripping over everything and making a complete and utter fool of himself in front of his thirty-eight week pregnant sister-in-law (or was that aunt-in-law?) as he was currently doing.

His cousin who worked full time in maintenance at some nursing facility was married to a woman who worked full time as a nurse. They had two children. Every time he stopped over, their house was always a complete disaster area. Should be condemned. Dishes piled a mile high in the sink and spewing along the counters and table. Dirty clothes everywhere. Dirty used diapers hiding underneath. Miscellaneous other junk draped here, there and everywhere.

Eiri had grown up in a house that had always been spotless, and his father had been a single father raising three children, so he knew it could be done. It was just a matter of getting up off your fat lazy ass. Then little Takanori had been born. Suddenly, he understood why some houses looked as if the toy store had vomited all over the floor.

No matter how many times he told his son, and he'd told him enough times God knows, there was always something laying about either gathering dust or laying in wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. Telling him to put it away because if Daddy does it, it gets put in the trash just did not seem to work. It had when he was his son's age.

Once again, several of the pots and pans had been dragged out of the kitchen, from a childproof cabinet no less-he blamed Shuichi for that. A couple of the wooden spoons that had been used as drumsticks lay discarded halfway across the living room. He had a feeling he would be purchasing his son a set of drums all too soon.

"Damn," he muttered.

He had a headache already.

Eiri tripped over one of little Takanori's sneakers that was sitting outside the door of the water closet that was off the foyer-guess his son had been in too much of a hurry to take his shoes off before coming into the house when Kizou brought him home earlier.

Another knock sounded on the door, louder this time.

Taking his own advice, Eiri checked the peephole.

He didn't recognize the nervous looking man on the other side. It didn't look like any of their neighbors, not that he could recognize them all on sight. That was one of Shuichi's talents.

The man had a sprinkling of gray in his short-cropped black hair. There were lines around his dark brown, nearly black, eyes. He was about the same height as Nakano and had the beginnings of a beer belly, but the modest gray suit hid it well.

"Who is it?" Maiko called out.

"Not sure," he called back. With a frown, Eiri turned the deadbolt, hearing the tumblers shift, and threw open the door. "May I help you?"

Clearing his throat, the man adjusted his red tie. "Yes, uhm, I'm-"

"Dad?"

Morihiro tensed and looked over Eiri's shoulder.

Shifting aside, Eiri turned around and watched as his husband stepped into the dining room.

The white maternity shirt Shuichi had tossed on over his black stretch pants, which he referred to as his "butter pants" because they were as smooth as butter, did nothing to hide the weight his husband still had to lose after giving birth to twins just two short weeks ago. There was a crease along his left cheek. His short cropped black hair was sticking on end and his violet eyes were red rimmed and puffy as if he'd been crying.

He frowned at that.

"Shu?"

The sound of her brother's voice-or was that nephew now?-startled Maiko. She hadn't even realized that Shuichi had woken up. Her gaze went from him to the foyer. From her position on the sofa, she could not see the front door, but Shuichi could and from the shell-shocked expression on his face, it was evident that whoever it was was not someone he had ever expected to see. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.

She staggered to her feet with some difficulty and crossed the room to stand besides him. She gasped as she turned and saw the man standing in the doorway. Her hands flew to her mouth. Tears prickled her eyes.

Eiri glanced at Maiko with a cocked eyebrow. Was this really Mr. Shindou? The tears flowing down her flushed cheeks were the only validation he needed.

This was the man that had adopted Shuichi in order to keep his grandson from being lost within the system.

It was only then that this was the first time seeing Mr. Shindou. He hadn't really paid attention at Mrs. Shindou's funeral. He'd been too concerned with his pregnant husband at the time to care.

To Shuichi, it didn't even register that not only had Maiko stopped over a visit, even though her due was rapidly approaching, but that his husband was in the room and had spoken to him. "Dad? What're…?"

Mr. Morihiro Shindou stepped forward and smiled. "Hello-Son."

A stray tear rolled down Shuichi's cheek. He slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a sob.

Never…He'd never believed he'd ever see this man again. Not after he'd been bodily thrown out of the house, quite literally, and at two months pregnant no less and especially not after being completely ignored at his mother's funeral.

Before he was even aware of what he was doing, he was crossing towards his father, his steps going faster and faster until he was running. There was a little pain from where he'd been stitched up after the C-section, but he ignored it.

He flung himself into his father's waiting arms with a sob.

He wasn't sure if they could ever have the type of relationship that he knew other sons had with their fathers, but to have a relationship of any kind with him was more than he could have ever hoped.

Eiri stepped forward and laid a hand on Shuichi's shoulder. "Shu." They were in the middle of the hallway.

Shuichi seemed to realize that for he pulled back with an, "Oh," sniffing and wiping at his snot and tear drenched face. There was a huge toothy grin on his face. His eyes were bright and shinny. He looked happy, genuinely happy for only the second time in a very long time. "C'mon! I'll show you the twins! They are soooo cute," Shuichi gushed as he pulled his father behind him through the house to the nursery, which was currently the extra bedroom besides the master suite. "Kita and Kaya look nothing like Eiri." Shuichi glanced over his shoulder at Eiri and stuck out his tongue.

Eiri rolled his eyes. He shut and locked the door and chuckled lightly as he heard Shuichi babble nonstop at his father.

It was good to have the Shuichi he'd fallen in love with so many years ago back.

oOo

It was an hour later when Shuichi, Eiri, Maiko and Morihiro Shindou were lounging in the living room sipping tea and watching little Takanori fawning over his new baby brother and sister, who were spitting images of Shuichi except for the wisps of blond hair, when Maiko sat up with a gasp. Her tanned complexion had paled. Trembling hands flew to her pregnancy-swollen belly. All eyes were on the suddenly scared sixteen year old.

Shuichi knew at once. He set his teacup down on the side table and reached for the phone.

"Maiko honey what's wrong?" Morihiro asked his daughter.

"I think…I think it's…time."

It took a full five seconds before her words sunk in. By then, Eiri and Morihiro were hysterical with uncertainty even though Eiri had just gone through something similar two weeks ago, Shuichi had calmly put in a call to his sister's doctor and was even then calling Ryuichi, knowing Ryuichi would make sure to call everyone else that needed to be informed, Maiko was breathing around a contraction and little Takanori, Kita and Kaya were watching the adults with what could only be described as a "what the fuck" expression on their faces.

His calls complete, Shuichi shook his head and sighed in disgust at the disordered chaos.

"Men," he breathed.

Quickly taking charge of the situation, he calmly restored order.

Fifteen minutes later, they were stepping into the elevator when little Takanori announced, "Aunt Maiko peed."

All eyes once again swept to the sixteen year old. "My water broke," she said in a calm voice, not sounding the least bit terrified even though she had never been so scared in her entire life.

Seven hours later and with her entire family by her side, including the man that had gotten her pregnant in the first place, Maiko Shindou gave birth to a healthy seven pound five ounce baby boy that she named Susumu Takashi Shindou.

Snuggling against his husband's side, Ryuichi gazed wistfully down at his little nephew. It was too soon to say who the newborn took after in the looks department, but he was leaning towards Maiko.

He still had not forgiven this Horigami character for what he did to his baby sister even though Maiko seemed to have, or at least, she'd forgiven him enough to allow him access to his son. It had taken Ryuichi nearly twenty years to do that. Guess that saying about women being stronger was true. She may have forgiven Horigami-or whatever his name was-but he sure as hell hadn't. He was going to be keeping a very close eye on this guy for the foreseeable future, especially since he was going to be around his nephew.

"I feel kinda left out," Tatsuha said.

"What? How?" Ryuichi asked with a laugh.

"Well." Tatsuha scratched the back of his head. "Shu and Bro just had twins. Maiko just had a baby. Mika's pregnant. Noriko just learned she's pregnant again…"

Ryuichi raised an eyebrow. "What? You want a baby?" he teased with a laugh.

"Yeah."

Ryuichi's laughter choked to a halt. "You are not serious."

But Tatsuha was. He had never been more so in his entire life.

"You want a baby."

"Yeah."

Ryuichi gave a resigned sigh. Heaven help them both.

But as he watched his sister with her son, Eiri holding little Takanori as the toddler stood on the edge of the bed gazing down at his cousin, Mika absently rubbing her expanding belly, Tohma holding Kita and cooing to the two week old and Noriko holding Kaya and doing the same, the idea of having another child took hold in his mind. Giving Shuichi a sibling might not be so bad.

He caught his father's eye and smiled. The older man smiled back.

And he just knew that this time, things were going to be different.

…The End