It was rough being away from Santana, and when I got to talk to her it was as though she was so close yet still so far away. The next few days were spent the same way, when Santana woke up she would text me, we'd talk for a bit while we both went for our normal morning runs, then she'd go to the hospital for the day and then head home and relax. Most nights Santana went to bed early since she was an early riser but since being home her nights were increasingly getting longer and in return so were mine.
Tonight was no different, when she got home from the hospital a bunch of a people were over at her family's home, which Santana wasn't thrilled about. The text I got about just wanting to sleep in peace and just talk to me reinforced how tired she was. I promised her I'd try and stay awake as long as I could to keep her company but she warned me that she'd be up late. The guys wanted to play poker and Santana was their first recruit. Not being one to turn down a challenge, I laughed when she told me she'd got suckered in. She swears it was just because she wanted to show them not to mess with her but I knew she couldn't resist a chance to win and beat the boys.
Selfishly I was happy because that meant that I would have more time with Santana. It was so hard not having her around the house, it was quieter, and not in a better way, in a lonely way. My nights were dreadful, it didn't matter how much I worked or exercised I was never tired enough to fall asleep without my girl. While we talked on occasion before bed and always texted it still wasn't the same as having her right with me. My heart longed to be next to hers again, not in that Romeo and Juliet way though because they killed themselves and I'd much rather be with Santana on earth.
Rachel was having a party on this particular night, at my apartment of course. Everyone I ever knew showed up but all I wanted to do was make fun of Santana playing poker and lay in bed with a good book. Rachel had even managed to bring a guy I had met on one of my runs. We had gone for coffee and ice cream on another occasion but really there was only one person I wanted to be with, even then.
He's a nice guy and really good looking, wash board abs to die for and all. When he ran without a shirt on it was hard not to look, I was a female after all and it's a part of human nature. However, he had nothing on Santana and that's why I ended things before they had really began but he had still become a good friend and these days those were hard to come by.
It was getting late and everyone was passed out all over the place and I was laying on the couch talking to Santana who desperately wanted out of the poker game she was in. I couldn't help but laugh at her, she was so cute when she got annoyed and annoyed she for sure was. It made me miss her even more but I was glad she was unwinding and having a bit of a good time. I could hear her laughing and making the guys look like fools. I wished I was there to see it, it was really becoming unbearable without her and even our apartment was unbearable at the moment with an unwelcome guest.
Just after I got home from New York I had met a girl through a mutual friend and ever since the three of us had gone for coffee the girl wouldn't leave me alone. I told her that I wasn't in a relationship but I wasn't looking for one either. She seen how committed I was to Santana and it had royally pissed her off, but I didn't care. I wore my heart on my sleeve for the most part and I had been honest with her since the beginning. Nothing or no one was going to get the way of Santana and I.
As I lay there talking to the woman of my dreams, and let me tell you reality at this point far out did any dream I could ever have dreamt, I somehow fell asleep on the couch with my head on Ryder's lap. By the time I woke up the next morning I had a couple weird messages from Santana. The first being; what the hell is Tina doing at our apartment. Santana had known the girl from before and really couldn't stand her in the slighest and I couldn't blame her for that. I also knew Santana wasn't mad, just curious. The next message read; I hope you sleep well, love you baby , it was her favourite thing to call me. The next is where it got really weird; So how's Ryder doing? I hadn't mentioned Ryder being there, simply because I got caught up with talking to Santana.
Let me take you back to when I had just met Ryder, before Santana and I had really set any boundaries for our relationship, beyond cuddling and constant flirting. There was a party at Ryder's house and he had invited me so of course I brought Rachel who had brought Quinn. I wasn't really into being there but at the same time I was trying to forget about my immense attraction to the brunette I shared a home with.
Most of the night was spent with me sitting out on a swing he had in his yard while the others danced and drank, I really wasn't in the mood. Rachel being the sly one she is, spiked my ginger ale with whiskey and I figured once I had started I might as well keep going. One thing led to another and Ryder and I started to dance, its hard to keep me off a dance floor for too long, intoxicated or not. Then all of a sudden Rachel rushed over to me, pulled me aside and tossed my phone at me. As I scrolled through my messages the worry washed over me.
Santana had fainted when she got out of the shower. I kept telling her she needed to eat more since she had gotten so much sun, and was probably more than a little dehydrated. I was trying to calm Marley down when I walked out of Ryder's house and down the street to try and wave down a taxi. With my awesome luck my phone died and when I rushed home I found Santana lying with a cool cloth on her forehead and being held by Marley. I was thankful for the other girl being there but at the same time I was a little jealous. Even then I couldn't explain it, just something inside of me felt so protective of her. Leaning against the doorframe I smiled weakly at the girl, not wanting to get in the way.
"Hey you." Was her weak greeting, one she added to with one of her signature smiles. I waved and told her that I just wanted to let her know I was home if she needed me but that I thought Marley had everything covered. She nodded, I'm still not sure if she was agreeing that Marley had it covered and she didn't need me or that she understood what I had really meant. As I turned to walk down to my room I heard her soft voice. "How's Ryder? You didn't have to leave 'cause of me did you?"
Looking back at her I shook my head, I could swear I heard a tint of jealousy in her voice but I let it go. "I'm right where I need to be." I answered and gave her another smile. "If I'm needed I'll be right down the hall okay." Both girls nodded and I went to my room and sulked knowing I wasn't needed but mostly grateful that she just had slight case of heat stroke. That girl pushed herself way too hard.
Anyways back to the point, Santana wasn't a huge fan of Ryder. Even though she never admitted it, I think a part of her was worried that I'd fall for him. It's only looking back on it now that I understand that, so for me to have slept on a couch with him, even though nothing happened, wouldn't sit right with Santana. It wasn't that she was mad but more upset and I could understand why. What I found out was that Tina had told her that Ryder and I had hooked up, and that is something I would never do to anyone, sure as hell not Santana. I explained it to her and she said she knew that nothing happened, just that she was frustrated with Tina trying to cause problems. My girl had enough going on and she didn't need this, she proceeded to tell me that Kitty had gotten worse even though she was supposed to have been getting better, and in that moment my mind was set. I was flying out tonight, on the red eye if I had to. I wouldn't get in her way, I just wanted her to know I'd be there for support.