Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who is following and reviewing the story. Nothing makes a writer feel like they're on the right path than words of encouragement and feedback. You guys have been great. The story is a little dark, but it has to be for now. As with all my stories, this started out as a short piece that is evolving into something bigger. I hope you'll stick around. Please Read and Review even if it is not something you normally do. I can always use the criticism, Thanks.

We'll Laugh About This One Day

The Berghain - Panorama Bar in Berlin was exploding with energy as Dick Grayson ordered the next round of drinks for his new friends. Two beautiful young college students flanked him on either side and hung on his every word as he regaled them and their male friends of stories of his travels and adventures. Dick's German was flawless, and even the club security assigned to watch over Bruce Wayne's adoptive son seemed generally impressed by his persona. The bar was no stranger to powerful people, but when a relative of one of the world's richest men drops in unannounced, the owner and his staff successfully brought their A game. The brunette on his left rested her hand on his thigh slowly threatening to bring it upwards at any moment, while the blonde on his right whispered statements in his ear causing Dick to smile mischievously. The sound system was thunderous and the dance floor was full of young attractive people sweating and grinding to the dance mix. The atmosphere was amazing, alcohol and laughter permeated the large table that held Dick as its ringmaster, and the young women sitting so close that he could feel their lust, were promising him a night that all three of them would never forget.

The perks of being a billionaire playboy were never more prevalent, but in reality Dick had never felt more alone in his life. He was playing a part, a part he hated and despised. From time to time Bruce had to remind him that in order to protect an alter ego, irresponsibility and philandering were two weapons he might have to employ. He had no intention this night of using either one. This was a diversion, an attempt to forget who he was and what he had done, and he was failing miserably at it. Dick told his unplanned entourage he would return shortly and made his way over to the club owner in the VIP section overlooking the dance floor. An inquiry of possibly investing in the club was made, a roll of cash given to the owner for his trouble, instructions to ensure his new friends ate and drank on his dime for the rest of the night, and finally per his request, an escort by the largest security guard he had ever seen to a private exit, so he could leave in anonymity and in peace.

Outside the club in the alleyway, away from the paparazzi and long lines of people waiting for entrance into the club, the former hero buttoned up his wool trench coat and began making his way through the crisp cold night and into the shadows.

He hated his life, he hated the things he had done and the person he had become. Bruce Wayne had saved and ruined his life all at the same time. His training had been fierce, his thirst for vengeance slowly altered into a search for justice. While other kids his age were playing sports, and making friends, he was receiving combat instructions and patrolling the streets of Gotham, when sometimes all he wished for was a return to his old life. A life where his parents and siblings were still alive and the family could continue to travel the world entertaining and mystifying the crowds as The Flying Graysons. That life seemed like a dream now, a vision that would occasionally visit him late at night in his slumber.

Dick Grayson was alone now, separated from his friends and teammates because he had saved the world. The irony was not lost on him. He had not wanted that role, when it came to coldhearted, calculating decisions, that was the purview of the Batman. As he wandered the city, his mind flashed to the many memories and nightmares that continued to plague him.

He never intended to be the Dark Knight. He never wanted to put his friends in harm's way, but when Bruce and the others voluntarily left the world to stand trial, someone had to. He waited. He hoped. He prayed, but no one stood up, no one answered the call. He took the step that no one was willing to take. The plan was complex, the plan was dangerous. He needed someone he could trust with his life, and that list was small and getting smaller every day. Kaldur had been the logical choice; he had lost his first love and those responsible were going to be found and punished. Dick knew he was emotionally compromised, but it was his choice to infiltrate The Light and find those responsible. He was going to do it with or without assistance. People were going to be held responsible and justice would be served, but Kal would need help. After doing it alone for so long, it was agreed upon that he would need someone to protect him and aide him. He had carried the burden too long by himself, and Dick needed to insert someone who could fill that role, the role that would cost two lives and four friendships.

He found a bench and sat down as the emotions he'd been fighting to suppress began to engulf him. No matter how many times the final battle played out in his mind, he could never forget the moment when victory was within their grasp. Artemis had turned the tables, suddenly fighting alongside the team she had been battling for months. The team was weary of her new allegiance, but when she struck down the Terror Twins and several other members of The Reach, that surprise alone had almost sealed their success. Dick felt adrenaline shoot through his body, temporally replacing the exhaustion he had felt for months. Alpha Squad began securing the combatants. Wally had been instrumental in the battle, his blinding speed taking out the regiments of the armies of The Reach before they even knew what hit them. Their relationship had been strained, but the battle weary smile they exchanged spoke volumes, until the last desperate attack by Klarion. He knew The Light had no chance, but in his last act, he could still try to punish the traitors. Kaldur had already been lobotomized by the Martian, and the archer had no idea of the true power she wore around her neck. It seemed fitting her end would come at the hands of her lover, the fool who had once worn Fate's helmet.

As Dick and Zatanna sat in the lobby of the hospital, forbidden by Paula and Lawrence Crock to enter the floor where Artemis's emergency surgery was being performed, the sorceress finally let loose the emotions she had been carrying for days. Wally may have been the bullet, but Dick had fired the gun. He had perverted her magic and betrayed her trust, but most importantly he had broken her heart.

He accepted the anger and betrayal from those closest to him, but none hurt as much as Zatanna. The glamour charm had been given under the guise that it would be used by him to infiltrate a small mafia gang, nothing complex or elaborate. The charm was to be returned quickly, but Dick kept putting it off, stalling, saying he was going to use it shortly, asking for more time, and promising that he was keeping the powerful piece safe and locked away. Little did she know the amulet had been in use all along, worn around the neck of her best friend, as she and the Atlantean infiltrated the enemy.

He, Wally, Artemis, and Kaldur should have been honored heroes, not that anyone of them would have accepted that praise or title. They had saved everything and everyone because they were willing to put on the masks, fulfilling a responsibility they had sworn to do. Instead Kaldur's mind was destroyed, Artemis lay dying in emergency surgery, the girl he had fallen in love with at 13 despised him and Wally…..

That was the something he was not ready or willing to deal with anytime in the near future. Theirs was not just a friendship, but a bond, closer than brothers. His last memory of the speedster had been the hate filled daggers he shot at Dick as the doctor's held the speedster down trying to examine and treat the wounds Jade had inflicted.

Wally was his first and only friend when he joined the superhero community. Dick was a private school educated, high society staple, adopted son of Gotham royalty and carried that reputation with him constantly when the mask was off, but in reality deep down all he wanted to be was a normal teenager with normal friends. Wally West, the quintessential mid-western teenager became that to him and so much more. No one before or sense has understood and shared the bonds of friendship these two men had. They had saved each other's lives more than either could ever count. They had cried on each other's shoulders and laughed together so hard that their ribs hurt for days. Even when girls and crushes started to factor into the equation, their friendship and connection never changed. They may have joked and ragged each other outwardly; but on the inside they remained each other's closest confidants, encouraging and counseling each other out of everyone's line of sight. There was a reason Dick had shared his identity and secrets with Wally and no one else, Wally had made Dick feel normal, and normal was perfect. They were to be best friends for life and each of them knew it, until the Invasion.

He knew he had asked the impossible, and he knew if the roles were reversed he would never have allowed Zatanna to take the risks that Artemis was, but no one could provide the knowledge, skill, and experience necessary to infiltrate a secret criminal organization other than a former one of their own. Dick hated himself for asking, one of a thousand decisions that he would continue to punish himself for.

Dick and Wally had constantly battled each other. Some were passive aggressive, and some were downright violent. They both had to remind each other of the importance of the mission and their friendship. In the end neither had been enough. Now they both carried blood on their hands, both figuratively and literally. His heart was permanently broken, carrying the guilt that Wally held for injuring Artemis, and once again Dick tried to put himself in Wally's place, but couldn't find the strength. Wally had nearly killed the love of his life, the woman he had planned to propose to before Dick had arrived with his request. Wally and Artemis, two retired heroes that had put the masks back on for a friend, now found their lives destroyed, all because of him. Artemis's family was faced with the likelihood that their daughter would live the rest of her life in a vegetative state, and Kaldur would never be able to think or care for himself again. Four heroes, four lives, two physically lost, two emotional so.

Dick was strong. He carried heavy burdens and responsibilities his entire life, but this one was more than he thought he could bear. He had to remind himself off all the good they had accomplished and the lives they had saved, but all he could remember was the day in a therapy session with Canary when he told her he never wanted to be the Batman, and now he had become worse.

Zatanna sat quietly in the waiting room of Gotham Memorial thumbing through her iPad, reading the news, catching up on correspondence, and researching articles on head traumas, trying understand the damage done and the possible chances of recovery. This was a ritual she had been performing for weeks. The Crocks had made it clear that no capes would be allowed in the hospital, let alone around their daughter again, but had allowed an unspoken exception for Zatanna. She was her best friend, and Paula knew that if her daughter had welcomed this girl into her life and her heart, there must be something special about her. It was an uneasy alliance. Zatanna had been told that ex shadow operatives roamed the floor, silently protecting the family, but she had seen no signs of them, but if they were noticeable they would never had been Shadows.

She continued reading articles written by leading neurologists when a raven haired woman stood above her staring.

Zatanna looked up and came face to face with Jade Nguyen holding two coffees. "Morning magician," she said wryly

"Morning assassin." she replied back.

Jade sat down next to Zatanna and handed her the coffee as they both began to drink.

"Thanks ",Z said.

It was also a routine that had been going on for weeks.

"Any changes?"

Jade had been upstairs with her mother and the attending neurologist for most of the morning before coming down to see her sister's friend.

"The doctors are seeing lots of brain wave activity so that is really promising, they're hopeful she might wake up soon, it's what happens after that that they are most concerned. That's when they'll know how much damage the bastard has done,"she said with a subdued anger.

Jade had just violated the main rule of allowing Zatanna's presence in the hospital. Neither Wally nor Dick was ever to be mentioned.

Cheshire quickly regained her composure and continued. "The swelling in her skull has gone down significantly, but all we can do is wait….and pray." she said looking at the floor guiltily.

That statement surprised Zatanna. She had never considered an assassin to be someone who was capable of having a spiritual side.

"Ridiculous right?" Jade stated. "Someone who used to kill for a living praying for mercy? It's not for me magician, it's for her. She is the light in the darkness for our family. She is our hope."

Jade would never allow anyone to see her weep, but despite her steel exterior, her subtle change in voice was enough of a marker for Z to notice. Zatanna had sat with Jade of weeks now, and today was the day that the ex-shadow needed to release some of the burden she carried.

Cheshire continued. "I've never been on this side of it before, never cared what it did to the families left behind. Caring was weakness daddy said."

She stared into the magician's eyes "I understand how mom felt when she looked into her babies' eyes, the way it feels when I look into Lians. Life is precious and not to be taken for granted. The world is dangerous enough without people like me roaming around in it."

Z gently took Jade's hand and squeezed it. "That's why Artemis never gave up on you. She saw something in you, something she refused to let go off. She saw hope Jade. She saw that you wanted off that path, you just needed a push."

"I'm a long way from redemption Zatanna, but I'm trying. Lian deserves it, I never want her brainwashed in the life Artemis and I found ourselves in, but don't kid yourself about one thing. If birdboy had been within arm's reach, I would have gone after him too."

Zatanna looked away and patted the mercenary's leg. "I know Jade...I know."

She cleared her voice quietly and ended with. "I might have too."