Derek was not impressed. He had heard a loud scream coming from the water and diving in he found a naked young man failing around in the water.
Pulling him out was easy enough, dealing with him on land something very different.
"Holy mother fucking fucker of fuck. Shit." The foul mouthed young man sat on the ground in shock. He didn't seem to notice his lack of clothing.
"Oh crap Derek I just survived a plane crash. Shit is there anyone.." Stiles stopped because Derek had dinoed out. Being a smart young man who read a wide and varied amount, Stiles was pretty sure he had hopped onto another slice of the loaf.
"Explain. Now"
"Well, Yoshi, I was on a plane, there was an explosive decompression and we started going down. The Captain said we would have to ditch. I had a view of the wings, and I got see that we were going too fast and weren't straight enough, and hell the swell of the waves were too high. Shit, everything was perfect for the worse ditch ever. So I sat back and believed. I sparked my way here. And shit shit shit. I'm in an alternate reality. And I really need to go home. And I really need to stop thinking about how I'm probably the only one who survived. And shit."
Derek watched the wet naked human's breathing quicken. He de-dinoed himself and grabbed hold of a hand. EMT training had taught Derek how to deal with panic attacks and this one seemed to be a dousey. Although to be fair Derek couldn't imagine he would be too calm after that little adventure.
When wet naked human, Derek really should find out the name, was over the attack he looked at Derek. Stiles took a moment to breathe and think and push aside the bad stuff. Weredinos it appeared was the flavour of the month here. And yep, that was cool.
"So are we in Beacon Hills? Do you know Deaton? Will you help me Godzilla?"
Derek sighed, it would appear his day off had been taken over.
"I'll take you to my Aunt Sonja. She's human and can deal with you." Stiles grinned and used Derek to pull himself up off the ground. "Follow me wet naked human."
Stiles squaked and blushed.
Stiles arrived at Hale Manor and holy maoley it was fancy. He had managed to get Derek to offer up his track suit top and Stiles was now wearing it somewhat like an apron. He felt very underdressed. However he had just been in a plane crash and Tardised his way through time and space. Well at the very least the fabric of the universe. The Tardis had done that once so the reference stands.
They were met with Peter holding an adorable baby dinosaur. Stiles couldn't help but coo.
"Trust me, it's not nearly so adorable when you're trying to push it out of your vagina. Now who the hell are you. Hey Derek."
"Hey Aunt Sonja, this is Wet Naked Human, I found him, he says he's from a parallel dimension. I'm done with this, see ya."
Sonja looked at Wet Naked Human who was just staring at her. Maybe mentioning your vagina wasn't done in polite society but that was no reason to stare.
Stiles was freaking out. That was his Mom. She was alive and there and apparently having dinosaur babies. And now she was kissing Peter. And this universe was just wrong, except she was alive, and had no idea who he was. And oh my god, who was his Dad shacking up with and no he needs to stop thinking. This is Sonja. Not his Mom. Her voice though and she was so sassy and inappropriate, and she was beautiful and she's there right in front of him.
Wet Naked Human was hugging her. He had leapt at her and now he was crying. She looked over at Peter for help but the father of her children just shrugged and then took the baby off for a feed. Traitor, she knew she shouldn't have pumped this morning.
"I'm very happy to meet you Wet Naked Human, seriously kid do you not have a name? But get off." Sonja managed to wriggle herself free of the now dry Wet Naked Human and push him away. He blinked at her stunned.
"Oh god, I'm so sorry I just. You remind me of my Mom and I miss her so much, but you're not her. You're really not. I'm sorry."
His big eyes look so much like her younger brother, before he had died of cancer, and it plucked at a string in her heart. "It's okay, c'mon let's get you clothed."
Sitting in the kitchen with his half brother(?) Stiles was enjoying his Mom's pancakes. Expect it wasn't his Mom it was Sonja. His brother(?)was seven and everyone called him Louie, his real name was a travesty, honesty that woman shouldn't be allowed near unnamed kids.
Louie and Stiles bonded over picking out nicknames, and how awesome pancakes are. It was weird, in his head he was working so hard to separate Sonja and his Mom, but Louie was exactly the little brother Stiles had always wanted. He liked pancakes, had an awful name too, and turned into a dinosaur. Okay so maybe that had been what Stiles had asked Santa for when he was five, it worked for the kid in Miracle on 32nd Street but it ended with his Dad crying and trying to explain that Mommy couldn't have any babies.
He looked over at Sonja and couldn't help picking at the scab. "Did you ever have cancer?"
She gave him a look but indulged, he reminded her so much of her brother, "yeah about 19 years ago. I had treatment and it was fine. Surgery got it all out. My little brother wasn't so lucky."
Stiles froze, so it was his fault. His mother had first shown symptoms when she was pregnant, but she wasn't willing to risk her baby so treatment was suspended until after he was born. His drunk grandmother had told him all about it during the wake. She had gone into remission and all seemed okay but five years later the cancer was back. It took her another five years to die.
His Dad had explained that his grandmother was just upset because she had to bury her two children within a month of each other because of cancer. That hadn't been enough to reassure Stiles. And now. Now he knew, Sonja hadn't been pregnant, and she had beaten the disease. It was literally his fault.
Having it confirmed just made him numb. He tried to smile at Sonja but Louie was obviously picking up on Stiles' distress and she was giving him eyebrows of worry. She shooed her son away and placed a hand on Stiles' back and rubbed.
"You look so much like my little brother. I'm not an idiot. I'm your mom in your world." Stiles could only nod. "The cancer got me right?" He nodded again and shit Sonja had no idea what to do. This wasn't her kid and she didn't know him and shit. They just sat for a while longer, Sonja rubbing and Stiles trying to push the bad thoughts away. He would deal with this later.
Playing scrabble with your little AU half-brother was strange. Mainly because he seemed to be some kind of spelling genius, for a seven year old anyway. Sitting in the living room Stiles slowly met the Hale clan. Not all were weredinos, but they did all know him as Wet Naked Human, even though two out of the three was no longer true.
He had dinner with them during which Laura Hale, she had legs weird, explained that there was no Deaton or equivalent here. Her dad Samuel was perfectly capable of looking into things for him though.
Sonja had hinted that maybe it was best not to ask Stiles about his world. But Stiles wanted to know all about this. This was his It's a Wonderful Life moment. How awesome or terrible or unaffected were people's lives without him.
No-one had heard of John Stilinski. Scott MCall was in prison, five years for possession with the intent to sell. He was friends with the wrong people but the judge had been hard on him. Erica Reyes had died of an epileptic fit at school a couple years ago. Isaac Lahey was away at uni on a baseball scholarship. While Jackson Whittemore and Lydia Martin were divorced but planning their second wedding. Lydia was a housewife and Jackson had some highish HR position at his dad's firm.
Scott was definitely worse off without Stiles while the others their lives were made different by the pack. Isaac's dad was still around; and although he had escaped Isaac wasn't free. Obviously the pack and werewolves had hugely affected all their lives but it was interesting to see that affect.
Alison Argent was very interesting though. Her family were still werewolf hunters. They had managed to end up in Beacon Hills but had left the Hales alone. Alison was training to be a hunter. She came round sometimes to spar with the Hales, so she could safely get used to supernatural speed. Dino's were stronger and faster and just overall better than wolves. Yet the wolves were famous. Sonja rolled her eyes and explained to Stiles that in no way were the Dinos jealous or bitter about it.
"So are you still a freelance journalist?" The table gave Stiles some odd looks. But Sonja wasn't fazed. "Yeah, I also run a blog. It's about the horrors of children, in-laws, and TV. It started off as a way to blow off steam, remember that I'm a person outside of my children. A lot of men and women have that problem and somehow I became popular. I have a tumblr fandom." She grinned at that.
Stiles really was enjoying this woman. His mother was so sick in a lot of his memories but there was the odd one of a woman who had fun with the world. His best memory was when he and his Mom decided to swap April Fool's Day and Labour Day one year. His Dad had been so confused and his Mom had made up the best pranks. It was memories like that hurt Stiles the most. It was a teasing hint at who his mother had been. And now he had her in front of him. Married in to a family of weredinos and being proud of her tumblr fandom. She was speculator, and he had killed her.
Derek picked up the sudden shift in mood. "I'm an EMT."
"Almost." Laura chipped in.
Stiles looked over at Derek. Derek was just bizarre. What with his family being murdered when he was a teen and the fun of the last three years meant that Derek could do with some heavy duty therapy. But this Derek was relaxed, not carefree, but his shoulder's weren't as tight, his eyebrows weren't so threating. He smiled and had to leave early for a date.
Once Derek had left the gossip started. Apparently Derek was going out with the nude model from Samuel's art class. Samuel wasn't willing to go into details about her body, but she was smart and had a fierce tongue. Derek liked to date the mind, and this woman's was an interesting one. She would keep him occupied for a week or two. Derek burned through dates like nobody's business.
Stiles went to bed early. He had had an interesting day. It was only when he was lying on a pulled out sofa bed listening to the soft sounds of someone watching TV that he could stop to think.
That plane would have crashed hard. There would be very few survivors. There would be nothing strange about not finding the body. Stiles needed to get home and fast. He would be declared dead and he couldn't do that to his family. He couldn't put them through that. Somehow a pack had been formed. Scott and Derek had been locked in a cupboard until they had learnt to get along. Stiles and Boyd had had far too much fun with that. But it was Lydia who really forced them into a friendship. Her own research had shown the importance of pack bonds and she wanted nothing but the best for Jackson. She had done something to Peter which caused him to be a lot less creepy. He had apologised to Derek and they had cried and hugged. Peter hadn't been forgiven but it was the start of a very long journey.
They were all starting to get along and then the real world had caught up with them. Stiles was going to Chicago Uni, Lydia MIT, Scott was working full time with Deaton to save up money for veterinarian school. Erica was taking a construction course. Jackson was off in New York studying law, and Boyd had gone with him, he had a scholarship from NYU in figure skating, he was going to study engineering. Isaac meanwhile had shocked everybody. He had inherited enough money that he could study aboard. And where better to study French than Pairs? Well Marseille was where Isaac ended up going. He loved it. And ended up doing extra modules in German too. The group kept getting postcards from different cities in Europe. Isaac was really growing and coming out to his own. Apparently packs in Europe were far more laid back. They all welcomed him with open arms . The most memorable had been the pack in Scilly. Isaac was only their overnight but he left with a food baby, a marriage proposal, new boots and jacket, and a plastic ruler. Something about helping a kid with his maths homework. Isaac had been grinning and talking about that pack for weeks.
They had formed enough of a bond that they all kept in touch. Derek, Scott, and Erica lived together and Skype was their newest pack member. They didn't talk every day. Sometimes you were just busy. It wasn't unheard for nobody to hear from a pack member for a couple of weeks.
Whether it be assignments, work, new friends or pure laziness. The pack knew that it was okay for them all be living their separate lives.
The first year apart travelled quickly, soon is was Spring Break and they were all back in Beacon Hills. They hung out, shared stories. It wasn't perfect Isaac complained about the lack of croissants and Stiles missed being in a big city. Lydia spent most of the time with Jackson and Erica kept pulling Boyd's pigtails.
Stiles had been the last to leave. His Dad and the pack too busy to drive him to the airport so he took the train instead. He had gotten there early and managed to get himself on the earlier Flight 471.
And now Stiles was for all intent and purposes dead. Yeah he was chilling out in an alternative parallel dimension world. But back home nobody would know that. He needed to get back and he needed to do it now.
He leapt of his bed and ran towards the light. He bumped in Derek who was just coming through the front door. "Derek I need to get home. They'll think I'm dead I can't, I won't. Please I want to go home."
Derek wasn't quite sure what to do now. Wet Naked Human seemed to do most of his freaking out around Derek. He led him back to the sofa bed and tucked him. "I'm going to tell you a story. It's the story that I plan to tell my nieces nephews when I have them."
"Not your cousins? What wrong with them? Why don't they get stories?"
"Their mother is a far better story-teller, they'd only be disappointed by my meagre skills. Now shut up and listen. There was once this wet naked human who appeared in Hale pond. I rescued him. It turned out he was an alien. Not a human at all. I gave him skittles and we made a device. This device only worked at 88 miles per hour but we managed it. And in a flash of lightening his spaceship came and took him and his flying bicycle home. And you know what it was all real."
Stiles couldn't help but smile, yeah his Mom was way better at stories. But Derek's was a fun mix of movies. "What you're trying to say is that you're my very own Elliot and Doc Brown all rolled into one. You'll get me home."
"Yeah, so relax. I have another day off tomorrow. What do you say we head into Beacon Hills get some ice cream and when we get back Dad would have figured it all out." Stiles yawned out his agreement. This time tomorrow he'll be home, he was sure of it.
AU Beacon Hills was boring. At first glance it was almost exactly the same as his own Beacon Hills. The buildings weren't different colours, the people were the same. The library had a better selection of books. And holy crap. It would appear that in this world Robert Jordan managed to finish WOT before he died. And there were extra Terry Pratchett books. Derek was nice enough to check the books out for Stiles. They then sat in the Sunbucks and drank tea while Stiles read and Derek flirted. The man behind the counter was flattered but seemed to know Derek and his reputation. It was harmless fun but it kept putting Stiles off his books.
"Oh my god. Can you please stop that. It's just wrong."
Derek looked at Stiles "Why because the bible says so? It says 'Adam and Eve' not 'or'." Stiles had the misfortune of taking a sip of his tea when Derek said that. In classic comic fashion Derek's angry face ended up covered in tea.
"Holy shit dude, I'm an equal opportunities kinda guy. But you, you're so sassy. My Derek is more scowly and 'grr I'm a werewolf'. He's so much more subtle, half the time the pack isn't even aware of the joke. But you, look at you." And Stiles did, he stared at Derek's green t-shirt and tight fitting black jeans. How his default facial position had a slight smile to his mouth. This Derek was far easier to separate from his own Derek. Which was just plain sad. Stiles could no doubt easily be friends with this Derek. But it was his own Derek that Stiles wanted to see smile and make happy. After all the shit they had been through fighting a troll in the girls lavatories was nothing for lifelong friendship making.
Derek took hold of Stiles hand, "did you just say werewolf? I'm a werewolf in your world?" Derek's eyes flashed blue, so that was the same. "Werewolves are so full of themselves. It's like they are the only weres. We're weredinos, we've been around for far longer. Like that Twilight book, that Jacob kid who gets the girl. Their epic love affair is because he's a werewolf and then it's all 'ahhh does he really love me or is it just imprinting.' I hate werewolves."
Stiles couldn't help but laugh. He had never thought about how other weres would feel about the werewolf human fanclub. It was amazing to see Derek, a born wolf, who loved this wolfness, rag on werewolves. "But you don't have hunters. You get a nice peaceful life. You also don't have to deal with terrible book and films. But wait Team Jacob wins? This world is just sick and wrong."
Derek let go of Stiles' hand "C'mon I want you to meet a friend of mine."
"It's on the wrong side of town." Stiles gestured to the police station. "Why is it here? I'm feeling dizzy. Better yet what are we doing here?"
"I spoke to my friend John, he wanted me to join the force but I like riding around in ambulance helping people. I used to spend a lot of time at the station, 15 year old me thought I'd look hot in the uniform so I tried to learn all I could about joining. Besides Sonja is friends with John and he used to sometimes baby sit for me."
Stiles stopped listening; yup Derek in uniform would have been very very hot.
"So Stilinski was his mother's maiden name." Stiles ears picked up at that.
Back in third grade they were asked to do a family tree. Stiles had learned something very interesting. His Great grandfather had been a police officer in Poland during the Second World War. Like a lot of people who find themselves in shit situations and out of their depth Oskar had kept his head down and tried to survive. He collaborated with the Nazis. He never agreed with them but he had a young family and he did what he could to try and protect them.
Oskar's son Alexsy, Stiles' grandfather, had been ashamed of his father and his actions. When Alexsy married he took his wife's maiden name, Stilinski.
An eight year old Stiles had been proud of his sleuthing skills. But then he started to worry, was his family Nazis but wasn't his mother's side of the family French Jews? He asked his mother first and she and his Dad explained. People can do bad things to keep the good things in their life. The actions of his family didn't have any effect on his own actions.
In the end Stiles' report ended up being about French recipes and full of jokes in French. Isaac admitted just before he left that it was this report that first got him interested in France and French, a country that had so many different chocolate tart recipes was bound to be awesome.
Stiles' grabbed Derek's arm and pulled him in close. "Did the N. A. Z. I. Ss win here?" He whispered. Derek's confused faced was adorable, "the whos?"
"Nazi's, political party in 1930s Germany, bad people with bad and ridiculous views? Invaded Poland in 1939 which caused bad things to happen all over the world?"
"Stiles, your world sounds barbaric, I'm a werewolf and there was a second war?"
A hush conversation ensued and Stiles found that there was no Wall Street Crash, and there was no Depression and there was no hyperinflation in Germany. He also found out that that the First World War ended when Allied troops entered Berlin. While these were not the only causes of the Second World War it appeared without these the Nazi party was never able to get a foothold in Germany.
"So we're not the Stilinskis we're the Wilcynskis. I'd be called Wilies."
Derek looked at Stiles, "yeah really dodged a bullet there." Stiles looked at Derek.
"Are you sassing me? Stiles is an awesome name."
"Yeah sure whatever. " Derek wandered into the station. Stiles followed mind blown.
Stiles almost cried when he entered the station and saw Deputy Victoria. Noree was alive. As was Deputy Sanders. It clicked in Stiles' head. Without werewolves there was no Kanima. Without that Matt had to seek revenge on his own. He hadn't gotten far it would appear. Stiles couldn't help but leap into Noree's arms. She had no idea who he was but that didn't matter. Stiles had spent so much time hanging out at the station. Childcare was expensive. He knew and loved everyone who worked there and to see Noree again. It was amazing. She patted Stiles on the back. And look over his shoulder at Derek.
"Hale. Explanations?"
Derek just shrugged and pulled Stiles off her and dragged him toward Wilcynski's office. "Why Derek I almost feel like I'm back home with all the manhandling."
Derek continued to shove. "What are you doing? You can't just hug people you recognise, unless you want to explain why and get a visit from the men in the white coats."
Derek pushed Stiles into the Sheriff's office. "Derek." His Dad rose from his seat and hugged Derek. He sounded genuinely pleased to see him. His Dad looked younger, more carefree. He had no wedding ring or family pictures in the office. It would appear his Dad was enjoying the bachelor's life. He also had a beer belly.
After a quick brohug Derek and his Dad separated. It was weird. They looked like friends, real friends. "This is Stiles, a friend of mine."
His Dad looked at him and smiled the smile he smiles when he gets recognised in the supermarket and somebody wants to talk to him. It was polite and had no real meaning or feeling behind it. It hurt. He knew it wasn't his Dad but that didn't matter.
"Hi there, Sheriff Wilcynski pleasure to meet you." He held his hand for shaking, but Stiles couldn't help it he pulled the other man into a hug.
The Sheriff patted him on the back awkwardly. "Hey it's good to meet you. "
Stiles let go of the Sheriff and smiled sheepishly, he could almost feel the burn from Derek's glare. "I'm sorry my mother was French, it was either that or kiss you." Oh yeah Stiles still got it. Being away from crazy stuff at uni hadn't meant he had lost his groove. Wilcynski smiled "well a looker like you wouldn't have been so bad." Stiles' brain melted.
There was no way his Dad had just flirted with him. That just did not happen. Brain bleach needed ASAP. Stiles couldn't help the fully body shudder or failing to the ground grossed out and not even remotely hiding it.
The Sheriff sighed, "you must be new to town, but here we don't have a problem with sexualities. And if you do I suggest you leave, and soon."
"Oh my god. Derek we need to leave, and now." Derek nodded his agreement. He pushed Stiles roughly out of room. Only pausing to bid John farewells and apologies.
Outside the station Derek roughly grabbed Stiles' arm and shook him. "What the hell is wrong with you. What happened to being 'equal opportunities'?"
"I'm sorry but that's my Dad. My Dad wants to get it on with me. Oh God, does he know I'm not jailbait. This is just wrong on so many levels." Stiles looked at Derek silently pleading to make it all better.
Derek slotted the pieces together. Stiles was interested in Wilcynski because he was Stilinski. Stilinski's being Stiles' family. Derek's head hurt, Stiles was from a strange land, the Sheriff not being gayer than a maypole... But that would explain Stiles' aversion; this was almost like Back to the Future Lea Thompson was a damn fine Martie McFly in that.
It was certainly funny though. "C'mon let's head back to my house. Meeting your family here isn't a great idea."
The ride back was silent until it finally occurred to Derek. "Have you been born in this world?" Stiles just shrugged.
"My Dad never remarried after my Mom died. Never taken off his ring. What if that's his way of dealing with his feelings. That as a middle age man with a kid he feels like he can't come out, be himself. Shit, I already know I killed my Mom, but I've ruined my Dad's life too." Stile stared down at this hands, he hadn't meant to talk about this, to think about this, but AU Derek had an 'open up to me' vibe that lured Stiles in.
"Yeah, that could be it. Or you could come from a world with extra wars, and zombie? Is that what you called them? A world with zombie films. You have a whole other genre of movie, why not your dad's sexuality be different. I'm not a philosopher or scientist, I like to keep it simple, people like what they like, as long as it's not hurting anyone then let them eat cake."
"Let them eat cake isn't a positive saying."
"Sure it is the French Queen used it to calm her people, the people ate cake and the hunger problems were solved."
"No, she showed how out of touch she was from the reality of French life and ended up guillotined."
"Gilly what?"
Turns out there was no French Revolution in this world. King Louie XXVII was on the throne and there was no Statue of Liberty.
While in the small scheme of things that was Stiles' life this may seem unimportant it did actually settle his mind. There were so many small and big things different in this world. Why not who his Dad fancied, not banged- Stiles was not thinking about any Sheriff's sex life ever. It cheered Stiles up. He obviously kept his Dad healthy.
Stiles had already found out that the Sheriff here stays at his desk most of the day and he had a heart attack four years ago, he was trying to lose weight for heart surgery. Stiles was going to get on that, not that he would be staying long.
Stiles had mad skills at finding out the state of the Sheriff's health.
Stiles also kept his Dad company. He may have ruined his Mom's life but his Dad's he had made better.
Back at the house the dino kids were playing Jurassic Park. It was adorable and Stiles couldn't help but join in. Whenever one of them would 'die' Stiles would John Hammond them back to life. They also had a pith helmet for Stiles to wear. It would seem that this was a common game in the Hale household.
Derek meanwhile entered the house to find his Dad. He was sitting in the study head in hands, hair a mess from countlessly being ran through. This did not bode well.
"I can't find anything, about sparks, planes, or wormholes, or other worlds. I've emailed around but... Stiles is a good kid, we're happy to put him up for a while. This is not us giving up." Derek nodded at his father.
"Yeah okay. I'll let him know in a bit." Father and son sat in companionable silence each mulling over Stiles. They sat together until dinner was ready, where they tried to hide their sombre mood.
Mint choc chip ice cream, Stiles decided, had been ruined forever. He wasn't going home anytime soon. They had probably thought that telling him over ice cream would soften the blow. Stiles had excused himself to his sofa bed and had a tiny panic attack. Major would have been the word Derek used to describe it, but as he was AU Derek his opinion didn't count.
Stiles needed to get home, the longer it took the harder it would be to explain away surviving in the Atlantic. Not to mention the mother fucking pain and grief he was causing everyone.
Stiles had a plan to outlive everyone. He never wanted to be the reason behind grief. Disappointment and annoyance were one thing but grief. Nope not happening. So Stiles needed to get home. Maybe it was self-absorbed to think that his death would be a terrible thing, but it really wasn't he had friends and family. People who wouldn't be there if they didn't want to be. Stiles was aware that he could easily be thrown out the pack, he was a measly human, the pack didn't need him but they wanted him.
Once the vice had been removed from his chest and Stiles could take in sweet sweet air again. Once he could see and think Stiles was lost. The Hales were perfectly happy to put up with him for a while but there was so much he needed. Everything from toiletries and clothes, to medication and his xbox achievements.
So maybe one or two things were trivial or he already had, the Hales had a lot of spare toothbrushes, Laura was a dentist and she loved the freebies. Stiles had swapped from Adderall to Strattera about eight months ago. He would soon be feeling withdrawal symptoms. He was also due an appointment to see if his shot of cefixime had cleared up his Gonorrhea. That was the last time he ever let his tongue near a vagina without protection.
He needed to see a doctor, he couldn't ask the Hales to pay for that, so he needed money and medical insurance. He had never been born, how was he going to get that. He also needed something to do with himself. And wanted to keep up with his courses, would they be the same over here, could he trust the reading list he'll look up online later?
How long would he have to look at his mother, brimming with life. Kissing Peter Hale, being a mom to three other kids?
There were layers upon layers of things to sort.
It wasn't just a finders keepers thing that had Derek helping Dry Clothed Wet Naked Human, much better name than Stiles, but it was his ridiculous haircut.
Buzzcuts were for people in the armed forces or people who thought they were gangster. It was also for the sick but Stiles didn't fit into that category. Nor the others. This was a mystery, it wasn't often that Derek couldn't figure something out and the buzzcut was annoying him. There were no practical nor ascetic reasons behind it. Unless Stiles had a hair phobia, but he hung out with werewolves so probably not. Maybe everyone had hair like that in the cruel world Stiles was from. Derek wanted to know why, he wasn't yet at the point of just asking so he had to hang around Stiles if he wanted a chance to figure it out.
They stayed up until late making a list. It was divided into three columns. 'We have to deal this now' 'Stiles wants this in his life' and 'Sensible things nobody cares about but need to be sorted'.
Not knowing how long he would be here made the planning a lot harder. They decided to plan for a month. Stiles would hopefully not be here that long and if worse case scenario he was then he would be okay. If he got home sooner than no harm no foul.
Three days later Stiles had a bank account, a high school education, a social security number, a passport, and some wicked cool shades.
He had new clothes, and had been bumped up to sharing a room with Derek. Derek had bunkbeds, he never invited love interests home and when the house had lots of visitors it was useful.
It was almost painful when Derek didn't get the 'bunkbeds are cool' reference. David Tennant was still the Doctor. Stiles wasn't sure if he wanted to watch those episodes. It brought as much conflict as questioning Sonja about her life.
Stiles was holding his littlest brother, Tanguy, while he watched Louie and his younger sister, Ethelburga, pick on their older cousin. Laura was taking it with a grace and dignity that Stiles couldn't have said he would have had.
It wasn't just that he was an only child he was also an only cousin. He had nobody in his family around his age. He figured the jumping on each other without getting in trouble was also partly a dino thing but being family probably made it that much sweeter.
But now he did have siblings and Derek was his in-law or step cousin or something. Stiles was married into the Hales. And they were great people. Stiles could feel the brotherly feelings stirring inside him. That was until Tanguy threw up on him. Babies are not cool. He fobbed the stinker back onto his mother and ran inside to get cleaned up.
A large family group was nice but Stiles preferred life of just him and his Dad. Sitting at the kitchen table drinking and solving crime. It was a real life mix between a noir film and an anime. And Stiles missed it.
It was these feelings that saw Stiles back in Beacon Hills and at the police station the next morning. Samantha Hale, Stiles would never not find it funny that Derek's parents were both called Sam, needed to pick up some supplies, and had given Stiles a lift into town.
Using non-existent Dutch courage Stiles stormed into the Sheriff's office. "Can I have a job?" The Sheriff put down his bagel "if this is some way to prove you're not homophobic then you can just get out of here kid."
"I'm sorry Da.. dat's not what I'm here for. I really want to work in the station help out with filing, and stuff I guess."
The Sheriff glared.
"I'm sorry it just shocked me the idea of the town's Sheriff liking such young men… "
John chuckled, "it's okay kid, Derek and I have this thing"
"Oh my god," Stiles interrupted, "please tell me you are not having threesomes with Derek Hale."
"Would there be something wrong with that?"
Stiles stopped himself before he could explain to his father everything wrong with that. This was Wilcynski not his Dad.
"I'm sorry Sir, it's just the idea of public figures and sex." The Sheriff 'hmmed', but agreed to let Stiles volunteer for a couple of hours over the week or so, they would then take it from there.
A week later and Stiles had been in AU world for ten days. There was still no sign or hope for him getting home. But it was still early days in the research. Stiles had been banned from helping when he tried to use Google, turns out in AU world Bing was the way to go.
He had been to the station a few times and had already convinced everyone there to help him oversee the Sheriff's diet.
He had also already sat in late with the Sheriff going over cold cases, bouncing off ideas with him. In the never ending parade of weird being friends was Wilcynski was not part of it. He was a lot like his Dad, but he didn't treat Stiles like his son, it hurt at first. But soon Stiles realised, he and his Dad were friends. It was an awesome thing to be and discover about your relationship. His Dad didn't like him because he had too.
Derek had explained that the Sheriff thought Derek had terrible taste and would tease him about it by flirting with the people he brought by. After a week of hanging out with Stiles Wilcynski admitted that Derek could do a whole lot worse than Stiles and they had his blessing, not that they needed it, and also as Sheriff he knew plenty of ways to kill a man.
It was a great time. Stiles got to know his AU family they were crazy, he loved it. He taught them the joys of lacrosse. A bit of Googling, Stiles would never Bing, showed that Jean de Brébeuf hadn't condemned lacrosse back in the seventeenth century, and what French Jesuit missionaries think is cool the rest of the world actively ignores. Only the fact that Stiles knew the complete and total history of lacrosse enabled him to find what he wanted. Lacrosse was buried down in one the many many things that Native American's had lost to the European invasion.
Weredinos love lacrosse. They also love dinoing out when playing. They love the running around, bashing into each other, and using the crosse to guide the ball. It was all instinct, skill, and strength. Though Laura kept cheating by using her tail too when she was in goal.
It was during their lacrosse games that Stiles really saw and appreciated the dino form. There were some similarities to the werewolves that Stiles was familiar with. Claws and teeth, but dinos came with scales and a tail. You could tell they were people but you could also tell they were dinosaurs. At first Stiles tried to investigate what sort of dinosaur they were but it was just a kind of just a generic dinosaur. Almost like a T-rex, but with arms.
A month later and Stiles realised he was making himself at home. That getting back was not the first or last or only thing he thought about each day. The panic attack that resulted from this was epic. The Sheriff holding Stiles' hand talking him through it really didn't help.
This was how he met Melissa.