You Can't Fight Who You Are
Wally West closed his phone and made his way out of the cabin. He was freshly showered and shaven wearing track pants and a Stanford sweatshirt as he approached the small campfire to dine with Lauren, Amelia and Ben. It had been an extremely taxing day and Amelia was long since asleep in her mother's arms. Most stores and dining facilities within the park had been closed due to the crisis, so the three sat around the small bonfire eating peanut butter sandwiches, Wally having five of them.
Ben couldn't stop yawning; this day would have broken men half his age, but quit was not in the man's vocabulary. The elephant in the room was refusing to be ignored, and Ben clearly recognized that this was a subject Wally would feel more comfortable discussing with his daughter. He got up and stretched.
"Well that's it for me. There is a ton of cleanup to be done for the next couple of weeks, got to be at my best. Don't stay up to late guys, were going to need all hands on deck in the morning."
He walked over to the seated speedster who immediately stood up out of respect.
The old man's eyes began to water as he shook Wally's hand. "Thank you son, thank you everything."
"You're welcome sir," Wally answered and embraced his elder and held him tight. He didn't have many uncles in this world, and even though they were not related, Wally loved and cared for this man like family.
Ben bent down and kissed his daughter goodnight before taking his sleeping granddaughter and taking her inside.
"I'm sure you all have a lot to talk about, sleep well guys."
"Goodnight Dad," Lauren responded.
They both watched Ben enter into the ranger's residence and the light soon went out.
Awkward silence reigned for a few minutes until a frustrated Lauren finally broke the quiet.
"So that really happened huh?"
"Yeah," Wally said sheepishly. "How long have you known?"
"A couple of years," she replied. "Neither of my folks were ever particularly impressed with the vigilante scene, didn't trust them very much, weren't really sure which side of the law they were on, then one day Mom and Dad took a lot of interest in this new speedster from Central City, some sidekick to some other fast guy," she smiled. "They used to make all of these little comments to each other, little inside jokes. I just thought they were making fun of the kid's tacky costume."
"Hey!" Wally chuckled in defense.
"Slowly I started to put the pieces together. The West's hometown, the kids red hair, the accident, MIA for our family vacations, and on and on, but it wasn't until the first time my mom went on chemo that I knew for sure. The chemo and the pain meds really knocked mom for a loop. She would get real loopy on her meds sometimes, used to talk about your folks all the time, and how proud they must be for having a hero son. She just didn't have a filter at all, so I finally confronted dad and he came clean. He was never very good at lying."
Wally remembered when the same used to be said about him.
"So Mr. West, do you finally want to have that talk we've been avoiding?"
Wally held his plate on his lap eating taking a bite of his baked beans. "These are delicious, what's in them?"
"Wally..."
The speedster sighed and took his last bite before throwing his paper plate into the fire.
"Yeah," he sighed "I guess it's time. Might as well get comfortable, this could take a while. I'm not really sure where to start."
"Try at the beginning," she deadpanned.
Wally smiled. "Ok you asked for it."
Wally began the story of his secret life. The experiment, the adventures, being a sidekick. Next came the friendships, starting the team. Meeting, hating, and falling in love with Artemis. Defeating and Freeing the Justice League from Savage, and the many missions that followed. Leaving the life, moving in with her, going to school. Finally he got to the invasion. The secret plan, the victory, and the consequences. He held nothing back.
To her credit, Lauren never seemed shocked or overwhelmed. She took every new revelation in stride like they were talking about old pictures, examining each memory and reminiscing before moving on to the next. Wally had always known she was a good listener, and it felt so good to finally get this burden off his chest, like their talk was a penance to him. In the end they both sat silently, listening to the pop and crackle of the fire.
Lauren finally spoke. "So the same Wally West that was too afraid to go skinny dipping with me in Snake River saved the world." she chuckled.
"I know," he laughed back. "Sometimes this life feels just as weird as it sounds. I don't think anyone truly gets used to it, I know I haven't, but deep down I'd like to think I'm the same guy you grew up with."
She reached over and held his hand. "I know you are Wally. You never have to worry about what I think ok? Despite whatever wrongs you think you committed, I'm on your side. So what happens now?"
"I don't know. Lots of stuff I guess. Maybe go to Super Max under new identities. Some sort of embarrassing civilian trial or tribunal that stirs up already bad blood between The League and the Government, who knows maybe some sort of Registration Act. Whatever it is, I'm just ready just to get it over with.
Wally turned away, looking at the stars that intrigued him so much as a child. 'You know as bad as it could have been today, it really felt good to get out there and do my thing. Today is the exact kind of day that reminds me why you put on that stupid costume to behin with, helping people who can't help themselves. I hope when we go to trial somebody remembers that."
Wally could read the anger and disbelief in her face, recognizing the exact emotions he had been dealing with for months now.
"A trial really? After all that's happened, after all the good you guys did?"
"There's always a right and wrong way of doing things Lauren, we knew that. We always say we wear these masks so others don't get hurt for knowing us, but sometimes I think we do it to hide from each other too. This thing was too big, we had no right doing it on our own. We needed help, but were too afraid to ask. We started lying to friends, family, and teammates, almost everyone whose help we could have used. The whole thing just kept getting deeper and deeper, and if Ms. Martian hadn't' discovered what we were doing, who knows how much father it would have gone or how many more would suffer."
Lauren knew exactly who Wally was talking about.
"These were people we fought with, bled with, side by side for years. We'd had trust issues come up in the beginning, but we told them we forgave them and gave everyone a second chance, seems like that was the first lie we told before any of this Reach shit ever started. I think that's one of the reasons why I left. Sure school was a huge priority, but keeping the secrets and the shields up all the time became exhausting. That's not why we started this team; at least it wasn't for me. We did it wrong Lauren, it's just that simple."
"Not from where I'm standing Wally. You know I'm no soldier, but our dads were, and mine told me in times of war sometimes there are just no rules, you just have to what you think is right. Maybe things wouldn't have gotten as bad as you feared, but who leaves something this important to chance. And as far as that thing with your girlfriend, just imagine what someone else might have done if you hadn't gotten to her first. It was an accident Wally, an accident."
Wally cleared his thought as his eyes began to burn. "Kind of ironic that she survived the most dangerous part of the mission, only to be crippled by me"
"You're probably not going to like hearing this Mr. West, but you have a major case of feeling sorry for yourself."
Wally looked at her curiously
"Listen Wally, life has thrown me some curveballs, some that were my fault, and some that I had no control over. You haven't cornered the market on heartbreak or loss. You move forward. Screw her mom, go see her, be with her, and while you're at it, screw the mighty Justice League and stand up for yourself. Don't take the rap for doing what you felt you had to. Remember what that idiotic old Star Trek movie you made me watch said. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."
"Or the one," Wally smiled.
"I'm sorry it seems like everyone is pissed at you, but I think they're living with blinders on. It's time you took yours off."
The two hugged for a long time. "Thanks Lauren, I really-really needed that, and just for the record, The Wrath of Khan is a classic. Don't be dissing Kirk and Spock."
"It was a lame movie Wally" she chuckled, "but it had a great message. I'm glad I could help." She kissed his cheek and rose to her feet. "I better head to bed, tomorrow sounds like it's going to be a long day, you coming?"
"Not yet. I think I'm going to take a walk for a while. Moon's full and I got a lot of things to think about, I always do my best thinking in motion. I'll catch you in the morning. Good night."
"Night Wally."
Yellowstone still smelled of smoke, but the crispness in the air and the cool breeze blowing in gave Wally a feeling of hope, of salvation. Lauren had been right on so many counts. He was tired of hiding, tired of feeling sorry for himself. He needed to talk to Dick, convince him they both needed to stand up and not bow down to anyone. Their accusers would probably not be alive if it weren't for them. First though would be seeing Artemis, no matter the cost.
He walked the main road and listened to the wildlife around him scurrying through the woods, shuffling around him. He thought of how much devastation the park could have faced, but half a day later life moves on unabated, and it was time he did to. He passed the visitor center that had been long since closed for the night when he heard the cry. It was a young girl, couldn't be much older the Amelia he thought, whimpering off on the distance. After all the confusion of the day and so many families trying pack up and leave the park, Wally worried that this girl may have wandered off or god forbid been left behind. He'd find her; take her to the park office and radio in for the on-duty ranger to find her folks. Her folks most have been terrified.
He sped up just slightly as the crying became louder. Finally off in the distance in an open meadow, he could hear the crying clearly. He slowed down not to startle her when he noticed the thick clouds rolling in. Probably the rain they had needed a day earlier, but better late than never he suppsoed. The dark clouds blew though the moonlight as the brightness of the sky flickered on and off. He finally came across the figure in the darkness.
"Hey it's ok. My name's Wally. I'm here to help."
He reached down in the darkness to lift young girl to her feet. When he touched her skin; it was cold and plastic. A doll. A doll playing a recording of a lost and scared child.
"Oh we know who you are," a familiar voice echoed in the distance.
Suddenly Wally felt the presence of a group of people, surrounding him yards away. The clouds briefly passed the moon revealing several silhouette of dark figures around him. They had finally come, just as she promised.
"We've been looking for you for quite some time," said the voice.
He immediately recognized the threatening voice of Cheshire, meaning the rest of her team were more than likely Shadow agents
Before the speedster even had a chance to react, the stinging sensation of tranquilizer darts struck different parts all over his body.
His body began to vibrate, a telltale sign his body was about to erupt into motion, when unexpectedly he fell to his knees. Nausea and fatigue struck the speedster immediately and as his body finally succumbed to the compound, he looked up to see the smiling face of the Cheshire cat standing over him. Finally the blackness took him.
Hours later, the cold concrete floor was the first sensation Wally felt as he forced his eyes to open. His limbs were numb, but with intense concentration he could move them slightly. His numb extremities struggled to find his pockets to seek out his phone, but it was gone. The warehouse was mostly dark with the exception of a few hanging light that didn't give off much illumination. On the opposite side of the room sat a seated figure staring at him intently.
Wally tried to crawl, but his body wouldn't allow him. The wheelchair finally rolled up in front of him and stopped.
"You are a hard man to find Wallace," Paula Crock remarked.
The speedster was sweating profusely, beginning to wonder if perhaps it was no longer a tranquilizer he was dealing with, but a poison. His nausea was getting worse and no matter how hard he concentrated, he could not get access to his speed. He tried to look up at her, but the room was spinning too fast, even for a speedster.
Wally swallowed hard through his watering mouth. "Is she ok?"
"She is," Paula answered curtly.
"Thank God," he whispered to no one in particular, even though Paula clearly heard him.
"I'm not going to beg if that's what you're hoping for." Wally stated weakly but defiantly.
"If it wasn't for that little stunt yesterday, we might have never found you. Just can't stop yourself sometimes can you."
Paula began to notice the involuntary flexing in his calves, watching him desperately search for his engines, but the formula she used was specifically made for speedsters.
Years ago she had the unfortunate luck of crossing paths with Barry Allen during a failed museum heist, and the fight did not go well in her favor. She barely escaped and promised herself she would be more prepared the next time she faced a meta with his abilities, and the compound flowing through Wally's veins was proof of her vow.
"You better have brought more men than this," he gasped through the pain, "You're going to need them."
Paula grinned, amused by his false bravado. He was in no condition to even stand let alone fight, but that still didn't make him any less dangerous.
"Don't make threats you can't back up Wallace."
She was right and Wally knew his end was near. He didn't have any more fight left in him.
"Just do it already," he spoke defeated, "just tell Artemis I love her and I'm sorry."
Paula looked up a nodded, as two figures appeared at the speedster's side and drug him to her forcing him to kneel in front of her. Their eyes finally meet cold steel versus glowing emerald. Wally's eyes were bloodshot, exhausted from the strain and stress of not only the last days, but the months prior.
"Are you scared?" She asked
"No," he answered resigned to his fate. "I should have said screw you and been with her. I should have done a lot of things….."
"Yes you should have," she answered coldly as Jade appeared next to her handing her mother a syringe. Wally looked at the two women painfully and lowered his head in shame. "I know it probably means nothing to you, but I'm truly sorry. I love your daughter more than you'll ever know."
He saw the syringe inching towards him and closed his eyes.
"Do it already!" he screamed in anger, realizing his time on this earth was over. In the last seconds his mind raced with things left undone, words left unsaid. His parents, Dick, Barry and Iris, his friends, his teammates, but nothing hurt more than Artemis. The needle stuck painfully in his neck as the injection pushed into his bloodstream.